Tag Archives: asshole

What to get those ‘difficult’ people on your list

Oh please forgive me this post, but I could not help myself. A quick stop into Urban Outfitters today (no Jana this had NOTHING to do with your Hannukah gifts) and I came across these on the sale table. (can’t image why they were not a sell out).

I am only sorry I did not buy the whole lot of them.

The fact that they sell these does not surprise me. Keep in mind their demographic. And they sell a fart book with sound for goodness sake.

So, if there is a douche bag or two in your life (Ronni, I am thinking you might want to buy a set for that next PTA meeting) or an asshole you just can’t avoid having to buy a gift for, these would come in mighty handy.

I particularly like the design of the asshole plates, that diminishing spiral ending in what suggests to be the asshole of the plate is simply perfect. I am just a little stumped trying to figure out what you could serve on these.

I really think I need to go back and buy them…

Oh, and if you were thinking there is something wrong with your screen, no worries, it is in fact snowing on this blog and will be till January 4th. (you gotta love WordPress!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, holidays, humor, humor, magnet for the absurd, products, trends

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 8)

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities. 

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

don’t worry, i have toast Thank goodness, I thought we were all going to go hungry.

marry an asshole This is some pretty bad advise.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my! 

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back. 

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches