Category Archives: crafts

The Bong is in the Eye of the Beholder

Stress crafting. That is what I called it. I was compelled to glue glass.

After collecting a season’s worth of glass corks from rosé wines, and obsessively scouring eBay for vintage pink depression glassware, I came up with some ideas for what to make.

This was the first piece. No it is NOT a bong!

It is a candlestick. But when I put this up on social, there were quite a few people who thought it was, in fact, a bong.

What does this say about my friends? Oh please, don’t judge.

Here are the rest of them. Yeh, I guess they all look like bongs, maybe.

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Filed under crafts, design, humor

Body Image


As you may know, I am all about girl power. I have raised a strong daughter and a son who has a healthy respect for women who feel good about themselves. We take pride in feeling good about who we are and blah, blah, blah blah, blah… This post features two women who surely take their ideas of strong body image to new places.

Lovely painting, no? Pretty colors. Interesting textures. Makes you feel sort of warm and happy and optimistic about your day, right? And the best part about this baby is it was painted by boobies.

Ok, sort of an infantile thing to say. But seriously, all I had to do was vow to blog again and that old Magnet For The Absurd kavorka reactivated like you won’t believe. First, I signed onto Facebook today to find this post  about boob painting from Taxi, one of my favorite sites.

Yes, boob painting. Marcey Hawk, a rather well endowed young woman, has chosen to take her two best assets and use them to paint with, taking the idea of body painting to a whole new level. This chick certainly is creative. I won’t get into her different methods here, you can read about them over on that Taxi post. The paintings are actually not bad and some of the world’s most famous bad boys are collectors.

As most of my early mornings are spent with post sharing – some professional, some just entertaining – I shared this one. Little did I know that one of my favorite cybergurls would counterpost me in the comments with one of the more outrageous things I have ever seen. And you know me, I thrive on the outrageous. Not easy to make me both wish I had unseen something and be ever so grateful that she shared it.

This one comes with a warning, it is surely not for the faint of heart. You see, as they used to say when I was in High School… tits are for kids. This, my friends, is a video about Vaginal Knitting.

No you did not read that wrong, this crazy Aussie is a ‘performer craftivist’ who spent 28 days in a gallery knitting from a skein of wool that she inserts in… her hey nanny nanny, so to speak. My favorite quote:

It’s unusual and confining. It’s restrictive, but no, it’s not painful. People push babies out of there, it’s a pretty robust area.

Robust indeed.

Honestly, even if I had not decided to blog again, this one would have taken me out of hibernation.

mfta moment


Filed under absurdities, art, blogging, body image, crafts, humor

A fine line between tacky and kitsch

fruit-flagYes, I made this for tonight’s Fourth of July party. No, I did not come up with it myself. I will admit here, in front of the entire internet that I made this from a facebook recipe. No, not even from Pinterest, just a post on facebook that made me think, “Hey, I should make this and it won’t be tacky at all, it will be sort of kitsch.”

Now if it involved any kind of Jello, that would be tacky, but this… ok, maybe a little.

The Gary eyeroll was a dead giveaway.

Happy 4th!



Filed under crafts, facebook, food

Hair Today, Jewelry Tomorrow?!

I first heard about this on Daily Candy and had to do a little more digging because it simultaneously intrigued and repulsed me.

Seems that Larissa de Souza creates jewelry out of human hair. I am trying to wrap my head around this one (no pun intended – ok, maybe). I remember when my daughter was in camp they cleaned out their hairbrushes and made a hair doll. That too, intrigued and repulsed me.

When my kids were little I was at a birthday party and I saw a kid walking around with this braid attached to a stuffed crocheted ball. I asked the mother what it was and she said it was his ‘transitional item, you know like a teddy bear’ only this was mom’s hair. I, personally, preferred teddy bears and blankets, but hey, whatever blows your hair back, right? (i know, these jokes are getting tiresome, sorry)

My point here is maybe in light of these examples maybe there is a strong market for hair jewelry.

There is something so borderline not OK about wearing someone else’s hair as a necklace, but then again, why is it OK to wear human hair wigs and extensions and not this?

And you have to admit, the stuff is kind of nice looking. In a crap I wonder whose hair this was before it was around my neck sort of way.

Ok, sorry, I just can’t do it. Weigh in on this one, I am curious to see how you feel.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, art, crafts, magnet for the absurd

First there were tampon crafts…


Who knew feminine hygiene products could be so crafty. For those who missed the tampon crafts post, please take a visit

It appears I am not the only one who loved these. I received an email this week (thanks Paula) with yet another creative project idea. 

The person who sent this out prefaced it with stating that Christmas was tight this year so she decided to make her gifts. Each person on her list will receive these hand made slippers. For us Jews, I suggest replacing the little ornaments with some dreidels.

Here goes (with a little commentary where I see fit):

How to Make Bedroom Slippers

You need 4 maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire.

These slippers are:

soft and hygienic (remember, these should be unused maxi pads)

have non-slip grip strips on the soles (glue strips for guys who don’t know)

built in deodorant keeps feet fresh (ew, I always hated scented)

no more bending over to mop up spills (nice feature)

disposable and biodegradable (the bio part might be a stretch)

environmentally safe (again, not sure about that).

Not bad, right? Don’t worry kids, mommy will not make you where maxi-pad slippers, as long as you make me a tampon menorah you are in the clear.

Wait, did one of you make me one of these in hebrew school years ago.

Note to self: talk to Rabbi about this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, crafts, humor, trends

Halloween (vol. 2) Tampon Crafts

I was first turned on to this wonderful craft site by a fellow SVMom blogger, White Trash Mom. Her blog is hysterical, I recommend stopping by and checking her out. She has a post with a kick-ass tampon bat on it that I am tempted to craft myself. Although this little ghost here is much easier to make and it has moving eyes. (Ronni and Jeanne you will love it for that reason alone). We were always doing crafts when my kids were little, I wonder if I would have done this with them. 

Yeh, probably. Nothing like having a neighbor ask you where you got those cute little ghosts in the trees. The ones that are so absorbent when it rains.

For those who have been insane enough to follow me from the beginning, I have an affinity for all things tampon. I have written about a crazy tampon site with a bowling for tampons game, a don’t flush the tampons sign in my daughters bunk at camp and even a search term that lead a reader to my blog: obama covered in tampons. Of course the big joke is I have no need for these suckers anymore as I am sans uterus (yes, TMI for sure). Maybe I am just a little nostalgic about it all.

Nah, they are just friggin funny and I am all for a cheap sophomoric laugh whenever possible.

When I was in college we loved to decorate Christmas trees with outrageous handmade ornaments. Candy-pons and mousetraps were a big hit. Hmmm… Doreen, did you start this tampon craft site? I wish I had. Check out the other options. The turkey is fantastic, LOVE the menorah and the toupee? This is laugh-so-hard-I-had-chest-pains kind of funny. Just one item had me a little concerned. What kind of mind would think to make a tampon shooter? Very creative but a little scary.

Yes, I know I was a little link happy in this post, but they all help to give you the big picture, so live with it. 

Have I mentioned how much I love Halloween?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms show up here as well.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under crafts, holidays, humor