To the young women on the cell phone on the train…

Travelling backpacker

Did you think you were alone in that car? Were you under the impression that all of us sitting near you were deaf? More than once I have been on a train where people have aired their dirty laundry as if they were the only ones around. I have heard about family feuds, business deals gone bad, the intimate details of teen children’s social lives and marriages on the brink. But never have I heard a conversation quite like this one.

By the end of the 35 minute trip to the city I knew more about your life than I do about most of my dear friends. Because of the sheer stupidity of airing your dirty laundry on a commuter train, I will honor that by sharing some sound bytes with my readers. Hold on to your hats, kids, this chick is out there. Quotes are from her, italics are my commentary.

“So he said to me, “Tell your dad if all he cares about is his money, he can suck my dick.” 

Hmmm, good start, right?

“I mean he broke my heart and stole my money. I told him he is going to have to work really hard to win me back.”

Ummm, why do you WANT him back?

“He wants to know why we can’t just be together. It’s so sad cuz we used to have so much fun till he stole my (dad’s) credit cards.”

Wait, he stole your credit cards and you are thinking you can work things out?

“He complained that my family is just all about the money and I told him that is what Long Island is like. He’s from Brooklyn and just does not get it.”

Sweetie, I think he gets it fine. He seems pretty much about the money if he stole yours. And, correct me if I am wrong but I think there are plenty of parts of Brooklyn that are about the money. Have you ever been to the Heights?

“He gets all defensive as if I did something wrong whenever I want to talk about him paying us back. It is so weird.”

Weird? Sounds kind of psychopathic to me.

And this is my fave of all:

“I told him he needs to learn that going to school is better than stealing and dealing drugs.”

Ya think? What the hell!

I was told today that people sense my being and then they perform for me so I can blog about it. Could that actually be true? Could I be a cosmic magnet for the absurd?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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8 Comments

Filed under absurdities, conversations, humor, things i've heard, travel, women

8 responses to “To the young women on the cell phone on the train…

  1. Around these parts, we call such people, “oxygen bandits”.

    Can’t live with ’em…. not allowed to kill ’em!

  2. Dr Jimmy

    You ARE a cosmic magnet of the absurd….is that why we just had breakfast on Saturday?

  3. margi

    Yes, I think you are. I think it’s a hoot and why I come here for a break in the day. Everyone’s spirit is different and since we honor it by our expression, please keep being a diva of the silly and the absurd!

  4. Neal Shrier

    You are a magnificent magnet and my favorite channel for keeping up-to-date on the absurdities in our world.

  5. Paula

    Keep it coming Z. Ya can’t make this stuff up! And remind me not to tell you my secrets….. 😉

  6. Hey, I have an award for you on my blog. It’s cool if you already have it and/or don’t have time, But I did want you to know how much I enjoy your writing!

  7. @razzbuffnik – absolutely agree!

  8. razzbuffnik, I love oxygen bandits!

    dr. jimmy: if the eggs florentine fit…

    margi: thanks, you make me blush

    uncle neal: i will try my best to live up to your standards

    paula: you know I am the steel trap IRL

    maureen: thanks for the award, I am not worthy and will surely check it out.

    blackberry car charger: I think I lost you under the front seat along with my bluetooth!

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