Tag Archives: aging

Time to Cry Tuesday – You can’t go home again


Cleaning my office the first day back from the holidays, this picture fell out of a file folder onto my keyboard.

The Big 540… my childhood home.

The same house that we sold a few months ago. The process of selling was rather unpleasant, the details remaining unwritten. Use your imagination if you do not know the details. The process of dismantling it was long and arduous, as my parents had lived there for 60 years. But it was a labor of love. By the time we signed on the dotted line it was more of a relief than anything else.

Oddly, a few weeks after closing I had the most bizarre dream. I was showering in my parents’ bathroom and suddenly realized that we no longer owned the house (oops). Yep, wrapped in a towel in someone else’s bathroom and they walked in the back door. The classic version of the ‘I forgot to study for the test’ dream.

A few weeks later I had another dream that I was hanging out in the house and all of the new owners’ relatives started showing up with furniture and started yelling at me and threatening to call the cops. Again, I had forgotten that this was no longer ‘our house’ (yes, I am way crazier than I let on).

I don’t have to be a therapist to know that the loss of this house is obviously effecting me more than I realized. I have never lived without this home – quite something for someone of ‘my age’. This is where I grew up, where the family gathered, where my mom planted. And planted. And planted. Where my history lived in the walls. And although my current home has been in my life almost half as long as this one has, there is something unnerving about losing this place.

I know ‘home’ is not the building. And Lord knows I have brought enough of the stuff from that house here (anyone want to help me go through 14 crates of photos). It is hard to explain how I feel.

Maybe it is simply the knowledge that I can’t go home again.


Filed under aging parents, grief, homeowner, loss, real estate, Time to Cry Tuesdays

On Perfection

Yes, I am trying to find my way back here regularly. Be patient, I am working on it. And as I was thinking about how I strive to always reach my own expectations of what the perfect me is supposed to be, the following video came up in my Facebook stream.

Today I will bring you one of the best things that came out of starting this blog… meeting Darylle Pollack. Our paths crossed in such crazy ways. First we blogged together at the now defunct 50-something mom blog (where I lied about my age at 49 to get in, how funny is that?). Then on some crazy winter day when my daughter was a freshman at UW, I tweeted something about the weather gods being kind so my daughter could get out of Madison safely. Moments later I received  a tweet back from Darryle that she, too, had a kid there. From then on we became instant friends.

Everyone should have a Darryle in their lives. So today I am sharing her with you. Enjoy.

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Filed under 50-something moms blog, aging, blogging, facebook, friendship

Floss over Fifty


Floss for people over 50?! Really?! Please tell me who thought this was a good idea. Marketing a product that specifically targets an age group sitting snugly on the tail end of the baby boomers. You know us. We hardly see ourselves as grow ups, let alone ones with aging gums. What is the likelihood that you will find us buying old people’s floss? Pro health “for life”. You know, because dead people don’t floss all that much.

If my Facebook page is any kind of focus group, I am thinking this one is not going to be a big seller. Here are some comments after I posted this picture and mentioned I would be writing a blog post about it:

I won’t be able to read the blog. I will be experiencing dental conditions because I don’t have this floss.

This floss is for dentures!

As opposed to floss for death? Who flosses in heaven? Doesn’t heaven mean no cavities?

is the font bigger so we can read the label without our glasses?

And an all-time fave:

Maybe it’s dipped in laxatives, vitamins and anti depressants.

Followed by

They should just dip it in wine!

Still surprised that Dr. Jimmy has not weighed in.

Is it bad to admit that I saw this while picking up my blood pressure meds?

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Filed under carry a camera, humor, marketing, products

Time to Cry Tuesday – Old Dog in the Snow

This old girl has always loved the snow. She would be the first one out the door and the last one back in. But 11 some odd winters have played havoc on her old bones and for the first time she had a really hard time this year. Granted we got slammed with a foot and a half and moving around was hard for everyone.

But her heart wanted to bound while her body knew it did not have it in her anymore. Don’t be too sad. She had a modified snow day. And she seemed content to lay in the sun in the front hallway for the remainder of the day watching the weather through the glass.

But I will tell you that first thing this morning when she woke up and went to the back door I could absolutely read her mind, “And I am so supposed to go out and pee in this how?”



Filed under mel, pets, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Life Stages

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Well kids, it’s Tuesday and I am not gonna lie, I might be almost all cried out after this bittersweet roller coaster of a week. There are a only a few things I am truly sure of after all the excitement of graduating my second and last child. Here is my takeaway from the whole experience.

1. If one more person uses the term ’empty nest’ I am pretty sure I will have to just punch them in the face. Enough with that crap already. Empty, shmempty, we all know they come home with laundry in tow and lie on the couch like they never left. And we love it. Period. And then they leave. And we kinda like that too. Period.

2. This is a given, and it is huge when you finally get it: every life stage has its rocky parts at the beginning. When we move out of our parents’ house we are apprehensive. Then college life is the norm and as soon as we get used to that we are off in the ‘real world’ and we have to adjust to life not being one big party. Then we learn how to make life one big party with a paycheck and we get married and have to adjust to another person’s needs. So that goes OK and then we squeak out a couple of puppies and we pine away for those carefree days, sans diaper bags and mortgages until…

you guessed it. We become THAT life. A friend said to me the other day, ” There was one period of time when it seemed like time stood still and everything was perfect. The kids were around 8-12 and they were independent enough but we still had control. And then BANG, it all blew up again.”

I kept thinking about that all weekend. How being a parent with kids was who we were. It defined us in our community, throughout our days, in all our planning. It was ‘all about the kids’ (right Jo?).

And then it was not. Or not exactly ‘not’ but kind of ‘hey we can maybe go back to the way it was before we squeaked out the puppies’.


3. Being a fast learner I get that as soon as I become used to this next stage these rotten kids will up and get married and have their own kids and throw me into the lead role in a friggin’ lifestyle commercial for irregularity (if you know me that is highly unlikely), or osteoporosis meds. And there we will be again, adjusting.

Keyword: adjusting.

The only constant is change. (another sentence I have heard ad nauseum this week – another comment worthy of face punching). Or back to the old love child in me: To everything turn, turn ,turn, there is a season… damn I always hated that song! And if I am not mistaken it might have been the theme of my high school yearbook.

So here’s to change. And not taking any of this all too seriously. And a nice rambling Time to Cry Tuesday that probably did not really even shed a tear…

because we’re all cried out.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

How Will I Look Old?

Seems that facebook ads have become a new sport here at i could cry. This one is about as scary as they come. Well maybe not as scary as the Elvis Chihuahua, but close.

So let me get this one straight, I should not be SCARED of getting OLD. Ok, so then why are both those words in ominous looking all caps. AND I can not only see how I look old, but I can do this to my friends too?!

Well that might have some appeal to it.

Hey guys, look, I am a way better looking crazy old hag than you are. I am thinking if I did this to the First Thursdays and showed up with prints at dinner you would hear that collective scream around the world.

Oh my, I can even choose my age and try it FREE. And someone would pay for this why?

Correct me if I am wrong but don’t most women my age go into a plastic surgeon’s office and have this type of computer simulation done to show them how they will look YOUNGER? Not sure why we would want to peek any further down the back nine with this application.

Yeh, I think I will keep that little nightmare under wraps and wait for the real thing to gradually creep up on me, then I might not notice as much.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under body image, humor, humor

Time to Cry Tuesday – Lifelong Friends


I collect people.

Seriously. I have people in my life for decades. I always thought this was common, as my husband does too, but I have come to realize that most people are not fortunate enough to have friends in their lives that they have known since they were young.

Me? I still have my best friends from 7th grade. Three of them. I was late to the party as they have known each other since kindergarten. They are the place I go when the world is too much. Or when I want to laugh to the point of tears.

I can be 16 with them, when being 16 is completely out of the question because 4 of our collective 8 kids is older than that already. They will never tell me what I want to hear, but they will surely tell me what I need to.

There are code words and phrases that we share like a secret language – or twinspeak. Our own intimictionary of vocab that would have an outsider shaking their head trying to figure out what we are talking about.

Months can go by with little contact, no more than a passing “I would freak but i don’t have time” kind of conversation. But still our love for each other is undying.

The decades pass. We fall, we get up, we live to the point of tears and then we trudge on thinking that if we have to live one more day of this crazy life we will surely scream. Then we stop and spend some precious time together. And laugh so hard we forgot that was possible. 

That is when I realize I am the luckiest person on earth. Not one but three! Each of whom would drop everything at a moment’s notice to be THERE. Wherever and whatever THERE is. And believe me, THERE wears many costumes.

Three words for you girls:

Love. Love. Love.

(and no Ali, we did not have any fun without you this weekend ; )

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under friendship, relationships, teenagers, Uncategorized, women

THIS is not OK

A few weeks ago an envelope showed up in my mailbox with a dreaded logo in the corner…

AARP? are you KIDDING me? Yes, my friends, sure enough the American Association of Retired Persons (‘Persons’ – what kind of grammar is that?!) wants ME. 

And apparently they want me real bad because today I received a SECOND friggin’ card. Here are the two cards. Notice the reply by dates.

They are extending my deadline for enrollment! And you will note that the second card is more official, with embossed type. This one is looking much more authentic.

Now, there is nothing I like better than the idea of retiring at an early age, but REALLY, I am nowhere near 50! (Ok, maybe a little near, but still, give me a break). 

If I get a third card can I file for harrassment?

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Filed under humor