I saw this quote on Facebook, only to find out that it was plagiarized from Queen of Your Own Life. I made it a point to find the original graphic.
Today is a reminder of the fact that out of nowhere life can change on a dime and you have only two choices – get through it or let it it do you in.
Action… reaction. That certainly ties up control in a neat little box.
Courage. Humor. Grace.
Indeed.
Filed under Uncategorized
Today would have been my mom’s 83rd birthday. Now that she is gone I guess it’s OK to let her real age out of the bag, right? I always wrote her a birthday blog post, some of which she had framed, I might add. So it only seems right to keep up the tradition.
In celebration of who she was, I decided to grab one of her many journals off the shelf and open to a random page. You know, so she could send me a message. And yes, I do believe in that crap now. Just go with it.
I suppose you will too, after you read this. No lie, this was the page I randomly opened to. (Click on this image and blow this baby up to read it, you won’t be sorry). This is a list of tactics for discovering pleasure and satisfaction in every day moments. Elaine practiced these her whole life. Genuinely. And with commitment.
Of course this came from her favorite – Prevention Magazine. And I see from the date that it was February 2008, a time of her life that was filled with chronic struggles.
Elaine was the Queen of this way of living most of her life. She was the Grand Puba of the glass half full. The Crowned Royal of be here now. The absolute over-achiever of carpe diem. She appreciated every person, moment, experience, flower, friend, color… well you get the picture.
In light of all the depression and anxiety awareness this week I took this as a sign of Elaine piping in on the topic from the other side. She never hid her illness when she was well. She would speak freely about it hoping to help others.
The last 10 years of her life were a brave, selfless, many times torturous struggle with the symptoms of depression and anxiety. People think they have seen the depths of this disease, but only those who suffer – or love someone who does –understand what severe clinical depression looks like. Like many who know this first-hand, I was outraged by the words ‘coward’ and ‘selfless’ used this week. They are spoken out of ignorance, for there is nothing braver or more selfless than a person who struggles to get back to the other side of depression.
Elaine did this each and every day. She did not always succeed, but she never stopped trying. And though it could have been what would finally take her life… it never won. Of all the things I am proud of, this is the biggest one.
She fought to be herself again when she felt she was not. That is my best way to describe depression in one sentence.
She was my hero.
So today I do not grieve (ish). I celebrate the woman who brought me into this world and chose not to kill me through those difficult years. Who held my hand, always listened to my woes and made me laugh till I cried and cry till I laughed again. She taught me how to be a mom, a wife and a friend.
But most of all she taught me how to enjoy the moments.
Yes, she saved this too. What? You are surprised?
In honor of her day of birth, take a lesson from Elaine and vow to take on one or two of these every day.
Filed under aging, aging parents, childhood, depression, family, health, mental illness, moms, parenting, Uncategorized
Yes, I am trying to find my way back here regularly. Be patient, I am working on it. And as I was thinking about how I strive to always reach my own expectations of what the perfect me is supposed to be, the following video came up in my Facebook stream.
Today I will bring you one of the best things that came out of starting this blog… meeting Darylle Pollack. Our paths crossed in such crazy ways. First we blogged together at the now defunct 50-something mom blog (where I lied about my age at 49 to get in, how funny is that?). Then on some crazy winter day when my daughter was a freshman at UW, I tweeted something about the weather gods being kind so my daughter could get out of Madison safely. Moments later I received a tweet back from Darryle that she, too, had a kid there. From then on we became instant friends.
Everyone should have a Darryle in their lives. So today I am sharing her with you. Enjoy.
Filed under 50-something moms blog, aging, blogging, facebook, friendship
Time to Cry Tuesday clocks in a little late today. Sorry for the thin posting schedule lately.
Today I am a bit reflective because… it’s Tuesday. So I am going to share with you three things that struck me over the past week. The first is from the Dalai Lama. I suggest you copy this, print it out and post it on your fridge, in your car, on the bathroom mirror and anywhere else your entire family can see it.
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered,
“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
Ouch!
Second, this quote from Bruce Springsteen’s keynote speech at SxSW was perfect. (although I like my sister-in-laws idea to reverse the order)
“Don’t worry. And worry your ass off.”
That pretty much sums it all up for me. I am a firm believer in not pre-worrying. I believe what happens to you is not what you worry about but something completely out of left field instead. AND in some not so dramatic but disaster preparedness sort of I way, I have been known to worry my ass off. (does this worry make my ass look fat?)
And last but not least, keep reminding yourself of this one. I have seen some staggering evidence of this lately. The last line of the last song of the last Beatles’ album, from Sir Paul:
And in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take.
Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays
I came across this image on Pinterest the other day. It has been circulating all over the online sharing circles. I would love to give credit to its creator but I can’t seem to locate them. If you know where this originated, please let me know.
The sentiment… could this be any more spot on?
Magic.
It is hard to come by. But when you stumble upon it you are blown away. And most often the road there was not an easy one. You certainly did not comes across it on the proverbial couch. Sometimes it involves hard work. Other times it is merely serendipitous. (Yeh, I hate that word too, but it worked here). But almost every time you find yourself smack in the middle of the magic circle, you have traveled outside your comfort zone to get there. You can see here, sometimes it is not all that far away… but that step outside the zone is a scary one.
And it is always worth it.
If you have every received an email from me, you will find this line at the bottom:
“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Go ahead…do it. You won’t be disappointed. And here’s hoping that you will find the magic.
Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays
Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.
A friend told me that once. And today in the middle of today I was pretty sure I was becoming Yogi’s lunch.
I sent that line out on twitter in a moment of exasperation and this came back from a cool guy, @jaybaer:
“Nice. I have a similar sign in my office…Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.”
There is something rather comforting in knowing that we all have those kind of days. We work hard, plug away and try our best and sometimes that is not good enough. Or it is, but it is perceived as not good enough. Seriously, does it really matter?
The good news is by the end of the day I was doing the eating. Or being the pigeon. Or whatever the hell it was that made me come out whole before the sun went down.
The most important lesson of the day was that I did not run from the bear. Or the pigeon. And more importantly I did not panic or lose it. Because as we all know, panic never helped any situation.
Anyone out there visualizing a bloody Amy with pigeon crap all over her? Please! Don’t be so damn literal.
Now get out there and do your best. Even if someone else might not think it is good enough.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.
For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays
Ok, so I know we all love to laugh, but part of the mission of this blog is to make the time to cry…
in a good way.
So today I am starting a new series called Time to Cry Tuesdays. If you are the type that hates to cry, skip Tuesdays.
Or maybe you are just the person I am trying to reach. Kind of stop and smell the Kleenex sort of thing. Not looking to be preachy here, not my style. But i would like to think this will be a place to get inspired. (I have always been a sucker for poignancy).
Life is hard, we all know that. But we don’t need to make it harder than it already is. This video is a bit long (10 minutes or so) but watch every minute, you will not be sorry.
I know I am late to the party on this guy, but it is a timeless message.
I viewed this vid on Super WAHMS and I can not thank Kandas enough for posting this for me to find.(no wise cracks about this being on Oprah). Randy Pausch is now my hero (and he switched to a Mac, what could be better?). Learn more about him here. Love and strength to his wife and kids. There is a memorial fund on this page if you care to donate. You can also buy his book, The Last Lecture.
If you would like to see the entire lecture he gave at Carnegie Mellon click here. (this is over an hour but well worth it when you have the time. To date, over 6.3 million viewers seem to agree!).
Now, pass the tissues please. (I promise to make you laugh again tomorrow).
Oh, and if you receive this blog by email, I have no idea how that quirky little feed is going to handle this vid, just click on the title and it will bring you to the blog).
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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays
i could cry but i don't have time 