Time to Cry Tuesday – Lifestyles of the Rich & Clueless

prada_purple_jeweled_bag

Prada purple stone nylon patent trim medium tote from Bluefly

Yesterday Newsday ran an article titled, Luxury retailers hit as wealthy LIers cut back, too. Catchy title, right? Actually terrible title. LIers means Long Islanders in this context, but hey, this looks mysteriously like LIARS to me.

In the wake of AIG rage, a reporter did a piece on how the wealthy in my neck of the woods are ‘cutting back’ in reaction to the economic crisis. Touching. Seriously folks, is the best use of ink on paper? Does it help for the average Long Island resident to read these sound bites? It feels as if the media is out there fueling the divide. Why? Maybe because it is so entertaining to read this stuff:

There was a time not long ago when Marina Stern of Great Neck would buy a $1,500 shirt without thinking twice. She can still afford to, she said, but now, she’s more likely to go for the one costing $500.

No I am not kidding, that was a direct copy and paste. Marina, I am thinking perhaps you should have kept that inane comment to yourself, not making you look so good hon. The funny thing for me was that I really had no idea you could actually buy a $1,500 shirt. I mean, what’s the point? Chances are I would probably drop something and stain it anyway.

Don’t worry, it gets better:

While no one has yet requested a plain wrapper for their purchases at Prada in Manhasset, some are asking that multiple purchases go into one bag. “A lot of them say, ‘I don’t want to be too showy,'” an employee said. “What if they randomly walked into a girlfriend who lost a ton of money and their husband lost a job? It would feel funny.”

Funny? SERIOUSLY! Um, only mention of the husband losing a job? Oh right, women don’t work in this group, but apparently they do have the ability to *lose a ton of money*.

Here is another gem:

 “They’re still buying luxury but maybe not the big purple bag with stones on it,” said the Prada employee. “Instead of two $3,000 jackets, they’re saying ‘OK, I have to choose one.'”

Maybe the reason you should not buy the big purple bag with stones on it is because IT IS UGLY! Never mind the $1,000+ price tag.

Ok, enough! You get the point. Understand, this is not the norm on Long Island. Not even on the ‘Gold Coast’. This is a stereotypical representation of the wealthy in our area. They are no different in the OC, or Palm Springs, Miami or New England. These people are a parody. Of themselves perhaps. And the media that feeds off their clueless behavior is adding no value to society.

Hey, things are hard enough out there. Must we feed off this stuff  in anger?

I will leave you with a comedic comment from the friend who linked me to this article early this morning:

I have vomited from these people my whole life. Now I can openly show my disdain for them. It is fashionable. Lets go to the [local belly of the beast restaurant] and have some fun.  

Perhaps, my friends, this has all simply become sport.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, Time to Cry Tuesdays

The Dressing Room

fitting-room

There is something about shopping for a dress that puts most women over the edge. Unless you have the perfect figure, and even then there is usually something about yourself that does not work for you in that evil 3-way mirror under those horrifying fluorescent lights.

This is an actual conversation that I heard from the next dressing room:

Woman 1: I am sure this is my size. And I am wearing the perfect bra!

Woman 2: Ummmm, I don’t think so, hon.

Woman 1: Sure, you hold the bottom and I will hold the top, I will take a deep breath in and then we can zip it together.

Woman 2: Honestly, I just don’t think there is enough fabric. What’s the big deal, no one will ever ask to see the tag and verify the size you are wearing. And anyway, you would need someone to dress you before the wedding AND you won’t be able to sit down the whole time.

Woman 1: I should have never eaten lunch before going shopping.

You seriously cannot make this stuff up. Lady, eat a sandwich, wear the bigger size, get a pair of spanx and get a grip.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under body image, fashion, fashion, humor, humor, weight, women

Wedding Slinger, lose the rice

wedding_slinger

Interesting item to bring to the service. I particularly like the biracial bride and groom.

Warning: Choking Hazard. Small parts. Not suitable for children under 3 years.

For those 3 and over, no problem. Feel free to give them a gun to shoot mini brides and grooms at the wedding couple. Might as well teach them the hazards of marriage at an early age.

Why not a second disclaimer:

Warning: not responsible for blinding the bride or groom. If small parts get lodged in their ears please see a professional to remove.

Remember, this item catapults bride and groom up to 15 feet.

Rice seems so old fashioned now, doesn’t it?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Would you advertise your tiny head?

tinyheadWhile driving through a parking lot this afternoon Jana spotted this license plate. Of course I had to circle around and have her take a picture.

This poses the question, why would you advertise that you had a tiny head? I happen to have a head on the smallish side, as does my mom. My brother used to call us pinheads.

Affectionately.

Or do you think this is code for the every man’s answer to every question:

“A little head would be nice”.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor

Out of the Mouths of Moms

cursegraphic

We had an interesting dinner conversation tonight. We have a full house/table with Jana home from school. The dynamic shifts, as do the seats, to bring us back to the original four. We fall back into the way we were when she still lived here. There is truly nothing more comforting than a family that is whole again.

The conversation at our dinner table is always pretty lively. There are no rules. No taboo subjects, for me anyway. I believe in open discussion and the right to speak your mind as long as you are respectful to others. It was always this way, but somewhere along the line I guess I loosened up the reigns on cursing and *questionable family topics*. Especially for myself. Come to think of it I would say I am the one that says the most outrageous things at the table.

Not sure how it started, but for some reason I had a run of topics come out of my mouth that left my kids… well almost stunned.

Danny: Wow, think of a list of the most outrageous things to hear a mom say and you pretty much hit them all.

Jana: With each topic I did not think it could get worse… and then it did.

Me: Really? Crap, are you guys going to need therapy from this?

Jana: Nah, it’s fine.

Danny: Don’t worry, the damage was done a long time ago. We’re good.

Gary: this is definitely going to be a blog post!

Perhaps I should consider some restraint in the future.

Probably unlikely.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under danny, family, humor, Jana, parenting, women

Are you 49?

are_you-49This is an actual ad that came up on my Facebook page. Talk about targeted advertising! Did it ever occur to these geniuses that perhaps reminding a woman in her late 40s of her age might not be one of the best selling techniques out there.

Seriously!! Yeh, I am really inclined to take your survey so I can get a free pair of Uggs. And ugly powder blue or pink ones at that. Honestly, should a 49 year old woman be wearing pink Uggs? I think not.

I was inclined to thumbs down this ad but was afraid the data collection that would spawn more irritating advertising.

We surely live in interesting times.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, marketing

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Bear

the-baer

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.

A friend told me that once. And today in the middle of today I was pretty sure I was becoming Yogi’s lunch.

I sent that line out on twitter in a moment of exasperation and this came back from a cool guy, @jaybaer:

“Nice. I have a similar sign in my office…Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.”

There is something rather comforting in knowing that we all have those kind of days. We work hard, plug away and try our best and sometimes that is not good enough. Or it is, but it is perceived as not good enough. Seriously, does it really matter?

The good news is by the end of the day I was doing the eating. Or being the pigeon. Or whatever the hell it was that made me come out whole before the sun went down.

The most important lesson of the day was that I did not run from the bear. Or the pigeon. And more importantly I did not panic or lose it. Because as we all know, panic never helped any situation.

Anyone out there visualizing a bloody Amy with pigeon crap all over her? Please! Don’t be so damn literal.

Now get out there and do your best. Even if someone else might not think it is good enough.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

The Birthday Cake

lucky_chengs

The scenario:

Mom of daughter turning 18 sends her and a group of friends to Lucky Cheng’s for dinner. For those unfamiliar with the venue it is a downtown drag cabaret theater in NYC. Almost makes me nostalgic for those Chuck E. Cheese parties we loathed so much. Then again, I can relate much better to drag queens than I can to grown men dressed up as mice.

The mom calls the restaurant to order a cake for the party.

Mom: Hi, I have a reservation for a group of girls for friday night for my daughter’s birthday and I would like to add a cake to the order.

Reservationist: Sure thing. Would you like that to be a penis cake or regular?

Hey, whatever happened to chocolate or vanilla?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

5 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, humor

Shop, Shlep, Repeat

shop_shlep_repeat

For those who are not of the tribe, or who don’t live amongst a large concentration of Jews, to shlep is to lug or carry something. As in all the crap you just bought.

I hate to shop. No seriously, I am a NY Jewish woman that hates to shop. We are a rare breed but there are some of us out there. My daughter is the same way.

This woman? You have to love someone who not only would buy a bag like this, but would actually carry it. As part of my ‘always carry a camera’ philosophy I was lucky enough that I only had to stalk her for a block or two before she stopped at a red light.

For those who would like to purchase this bag I am so very sorry, but I did not have time to ask her before she vanished in the crowd.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, New York City

Satan Calling

666-6666

Yeh, that title should get me some interesting traffic.

Speaking of traffic (I know, pathetic segue), while sitting in it today I was behind this car. 666-6666. That is quite a potent number. Of course I had to do a little research on this devilish number.

Here are a few interesting facts:

On May 23rd, 2006 the mobile number 666-6666 was auctioned for charity in Qatar. It sold for 10m Qatari riyals or $2,746,045.59. According to the article in The Register here are some other interesting little factoids in the 666 arena:

On a techy note, the first Apple Computer sold for $666.66, the sixth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is w – so www. shows how evil the internet is. And finally, Viagra has a molecular weight of 666.7g/mol.

So all you internet porn addicts on apple computers…

looks like you are going straight to hell!

On further exploration I decided to check out the local area codes for this number.

516 – no such number.

631 – I got this interesting message, ” The voice mailbox of Hello There is full, please try again later”. Friendly little devil out there in Suffolk County.

718 – very foriegn voices that sounded kind of like a terrorist cell and creeped me out that maybe they had caller ID and I was screwed.

And 212? Apparently that was the one that was advertised on this bumper, Carmel car and limo service! I wonder if they had to pay through the wazoo to get that number.

Or perhaps they just had to sell their souls.

Alright, cheap jokes tonight. But at least I got us out of the bathroom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, companies, humor, marketing, New York, New York City