Category Archives: absurdities

Facebook Invitations – how far will they go?

If you are on Facebook I am sure you have friends who are users of these ridiculous (anti)social requests and invitations. I get them all the time. There is no end to the senseless applications that people use to try to socialize. Hey, you want to chat, comment on my status, send me a link? Great, I love to connect with old friends as well as new. But these hideous applications: ismile, farmville, mafia wars and now the one that surely crosses the line…

a feel your boobies invitation.

No, I did not make this one up. That graphic up there is an actual screen grab. Not gonna lie, it had me laughing.

It all started with my crazy HS friend whose Facebook status the other day was:

Listen I hate Farming and to join another family in Mafia wars would be crazy cause I cant handle my own.. SoooooooThe answer is NO.

The comments on this thread started to get really funny when she wrote:

I just got a” feel your boobies” request…has the whole freakin face book world gone mad…I kinda wanna say yes to see how they’re gonna pull this one off.

Hard to keep reading as I was laughing so hard. Then came this response from another HS friend:

would you please open your back door. I’VE BEEN OUT HERE KNOCKING ALL DAY!

and yet another:

OK so this form of fun is so much better than farming, mafia and so on. Let me know if your boobs get a rub down  as perhaps there are other feels out there!

So of course she sent me the request because I had to check it out. I am happy to report that not only is this application not porn (sorry guys, I know you were getting into this), but it is actually a breast cancer awareness foundation called, you guessed it, Feel Your Boobies, to promote self examination.

You can read about the app here and the join the facebook group here. Although I think this is a great program and I love the edge, it is unfortunate that at first glance on Facebook this was considered offensive or at best fodder for jokes. If I were not inquisitive and/or a student of social media I probably would have made fun of it, hit ignore and forgotton about it.

So, for my social media friends, was the use of Facebook for this program edgy or a fail? I am not sure where I weigh in on this. Again, being a lover of polls, let’s take a vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, conversations, health, humor, humor, marketing, trends, women

Hannah Montana Mall Madness – Good Grief!

I took a trip to Toys R Us today, a place I have not visited in many years – thankfully. Although I must say all the salespeople were extremely helpful and in cheery spirits, which is something I do not remember from years ago. And there were a lot of them on the floor. Kudos to Toys R Us for doing a great job with your staff.

While I was on the check out line this appalling piece of merchandise caught my eye. I could not resist a post.

Note the dollar signs in the logo. Straight from the Hasbro product description I would like you to take a look at what this game is about:

“Will you be the rock star of this game? Hit the stores to see what bling bling you can cha ching with the stars of the Hannah Montana show! Get some steals and deals on clearance – but be careful not to totally max out. Catch a movie with Miley or head out for some ice cream with Jackson. Then meet up with Hannah Montana and see if you can borrow her credit card and charge up a storm. Buy six items and reach your final destination first and you’re the star of this mall scene!”

See what bling bling you can cha ching! Are you friggin kidding me?! So this is what we want to teach our 9 and up girls. Recession or no, this ‘game’ is simply downright offensive. (would you like me to really tell you how I feel?) Of course they will tell you they put in that line about deals on clearance and cautioning you not to max out. But remind me why we want to encourage our young girls to use credit cards again.

Look, I have wasted spent my share of money on senseless plastic items. I could have made a few year’s mortgage payments on the investment I made in Playmobil, Polly Pocket and Littlest Petshop (which BTW is made by Hasbro and these days also has a mall madness version – “Bring your pets to the mall for a wild shopping spree!” Oh dear G-d! Now we are corrupting the animals!). But at least my kids sat and had a few good hours of imaginative play with the earlier versions of these toys. Without ever once talking about credit cards, go figure.

This? This is just upsetting. Take a look at the electronic console. It has a damn ATM slot. Oh I guess that is for when you asked Hannah “if you can borrow her credit card and charge up a storm” (good friendship skills would be learned here)

I suppose this would be preferable to the poll dancing doll, but not much. Feel free to share any awful toys you see out there this holiday season.

Now all ranting aside – if you can – please make toy donations to children in need. This is what I really wanted to write about today.

There are many fabulous organizations out there who will get those toys directly into the hands of a child that might otherwise have a barren holiday season. Here are just a few (this list is not vetted and I have no affiliation with any of these organizations), or check your school district or community organizations for something more local.

toysfortots.org The primary goal of Toys for Tots is to deliver, through a new toy at Christmas, a message of hope to less fortunate youngsters that will assist them in becoming responsible, productive, patriotic citizens.

beaniesforbaghdad.com a bridge between our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, the chidren of Iraq, Kosovo and Afghanistan and very generous kind hearted people back home who want to do a small part to make the world a better place. Our Network of Points of Contact receive joy in passing out donations to young children who have suffered so much and have so little happiness in their life. Many of the children live in extreme poverty.

giftsinkind.org Through The Toy Bank, the first industry-wide program of its kind, charities in North America supporting underserved, homeless and at-risk children can obtain newly manufactured toys. And, toy manufacturers, retailers and distributors can reach children in need around the world– Millions of toys for millions of kids®

Now aren’t you glad this post ended on a happy note?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, games, humor, marketing, products

A bouquet of what?!

Could not resist posting this. Here are today’s top search terms to find this blog:

That’s right kids, not one listing, but two for bouquet of penis! Not sure how they got here but if you are the people who keyed that in might I direct you to this lovely option for a penis lollipop bouquet (in pretty colors, I might add).

Wendy had the best comment when I sent her this today:

“My favorite is Bouquet of Penis. Wondering if it’s an air freshener or a decorative item…”

She has a point there. Perhaps a poll is in order. I am a little poll happy this week.

A bit concerning were the searches for kid penis and women with penises. Seriously, think about what people are looking for out there and it will send a chill up your spine.

I am thinking I may need to take myself off the mom bloggers lists.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, polls, search engine terms, searches

What to get those ‘difficult’ people on your list

Oh please forgive me this post, but I could not help myself. A quick stop into Urban Outfitters today (no Jana this had NOTHING to do with your Hannukah gifts) and I came across these on the sale table. (can’t image why they were not a sell out).


I am only sorry I did not buy the whole lot of them.

The fact that they sell these does not surprise me. Keep in mind their demographic. And they sell a fart book with sound for goodness sake.

So, if there is a douche bag or two in your life (Ronni, I am thinking you might want to buy a set for that next PTA meeting) or an asshole you just can’t avoid having to buy a gift for, these would come in mighty handy.

I particularly like the design of the asshole plates, that diminishing spiral ending in what suggests to be the asshole of the plate is simply perfect. I am just a little stumped trying to figure out what you could serve on these.

I really think I need to go back and buy them…

Oh, and if you were thinking there is something wrong with your screen, no worries, it is in fact snowing on this blog and will be till January 4th. (you gotta love WordPress!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

11 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, holidays, humor, humor, magnet for the absurd, products, trends

Bagel and Pap Smear with a side of Santa?

Oh yes, ladies and gent(tile)s, the CBS Cares pap smear commercial has a christian version. If you missed my post last week you can read about it here. In short CBS has created a campaign around gifting pap smears. (that would be a hell of an item to regift, no?) Here is the jewish version complete with cream cheese reference (ew)

Thanks to my friend 24 at heart, I have been made aware that it’s not just jewish guys that think a pap smear appointment is the perfect holiday gift. I’m not going to lie here, I am a little put off that the christian guy is so much better looking than the pap ‘schmear’ jew with the nasal voice. And who could resist the line, “Give her the gift that even Santa can’t deliver”. Check him out (what a babe!)

But… it gets better. You see CBS is an equal opportunity advertiser. So for all you guys out there, this babe is urging us to schedule you a prostate exam. Oh yes, this is not a joke. And the tagline from this sultry blonde would be? “Give the gift that says Merry Christmas, I love ALL of you”. Shouldn’t that have been, “Give the gift that says turn your head and cough?”

What, you say? No woman of the tribe hawking a prostate exam. Oh yes there is! And her line? Oh really, I can hardly type from laughing so hard, “This Hannukah, give the gift of a kosher prostate.” WTF!!!! Again with the food reference. And this hebropsycho has this creepy way of smiling when she says the word prostate, like she is about to… never mind, you know what they say about jewish girls.

Ok, I will have to admit that these are getting attention, but they are kind of like staring at the accident. Since when did secular PSAs go out of style?

I can’t wait to hear the hispanic versions!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, health, humor, marketing, religion

Orange Peel Poll Results

I am sure it is becoming obvious to most of you that the additional calorie and alcohol content of my long weekend has left me too lazy to come up with anything of real value to write about. So today I will bring you some interesting answers to the ‘other’ section of yesterday’s poll . To refresh your memories these refer to Gary’s ingenious clementine peel.

The answers people added were:

Carmen Miranda’s Bra (very nice and creative  – not sure about the single strap though)

a pocso, womens brest… (um, what the hell?)

opera glasses (creative)

Snuffleupagus (nice, in celebration of Sesame Street 40th anniversary)

sunshades for someone with a long nose (ok, a stretch but maybe)

and this one which is a bit concerning and of course my fave

woman w/ a vertical C-section scar (thank goodness mine was horizontal, I would hate to look like this!)

Anyone care to claim these gems?

ven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, press

Orange Peel Rorschach Test

Amongst his many talents, Gary has developed this very impressive style of peeling a clementine. I thought it would be fun to do a poll since we have not had one here in awhile. A little audience participation is always nice. No need to comment, unless you feel compelled, but please do cast your vote below.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, gary, humor, polls

Turkey Testicle Festival

Wondering what to do with those pesky turkey testicles? Well, here you go.

I love the woman who says ‘Crispy! I’m glad it’s not juicy. I just went for the crisp.’ Yikes, kind of feel bad for her significant other.

Thanks to Dani (not Danny – he just rolls his eyes at me) for sharing this little morsel of fun.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this post is surely MFTA approved.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, food, holidays

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 11)

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I know, it’s been awhile since I have done one of these. This one is for Kate, who told me last night these are her faves. Here’s the drill for you new comers to the house of I Could Cry. These are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. hannukah pap smear I am still mildly outraged by this (while being slightly amused at the absurdity). And I suppose many others are as well, since it is the number one search term this past week.

2. girl fights were boobs pop out Ah, the ever famous girl fight post, and of course its followup, Vol. 2. Yeh, this one is a big hit. And of course the top search term that lands them here always has a boob popping out. Yes friends, not only to the guys want to see a girl fight, they are always hoping for a boob to pop out. Simple physics, I suppose.

3. tampon games Again, tampon search terms are popular here. I write about them quite a bit. I linked to tampon bowling this time because besides tampon crafts, this is my favorite.

4. slippers made maxi pads What better follow-up to tampon crafts than the ever famous maxi pad slippers. Seriously folks, there is really no need to go past the corner drug store for your holiday shopping this year.

5. castrated I had to think about this one for a minute until I remembered the mannequins that I caught with their pants down at the mall.

6. dick in the box No, I am sorry, that would be a Big Box of Shut the Hell Up!

7. big penis posting pictures Ah. National Penis Day – how will you celebrate it? Yes, finally the penis has the day it was due.

8. sports, men, cheez-its crackers Think about that, this statement is almost a complete sentence.

9. how to make my pennis mussels strong Wow, you better have a strong ‘pennis’ if those are your spelling skills, pal.

10. humor and leashes I am thinking the kid in this post does not find this all that funny.

And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed the show. Now go eat some turkey and be nice to your family.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, search engine terms

Pre-holiday Musings

I have been out of the basement and out in the world these last few days. Here are a few of my thoughts (scary when I let you see the inside of my head, isn’t it?):

1. Saffron. why is this sold like drugs in a vial and why on earth does it cost almost as much. Yeh, yeh, I know you only need a few threads but seriously, $15.00 for a spice? Do people snort this stuff?

2. Parking lots. Who designs them? And do they have little cameras in their offices just for kicks where they watch people lose their minds trying to park? You will be happy to know I have shed my parking lot rage and have learned to behave myself(ish) – I think the back up camera in the new car may have helped. But I have seen quite a few people with less than stellar behavior these past few days.

3. Turkey. What does a 28 lb. turkey look like when it is walking around? (and have I just ruined everyone’s appetite for the holiday?)

4. Cranberries. What makes them organic and why does that mean they should cost $5.99 a bag?

5. Airports. Why is nothing open at 10:30 at night at LaGuardia? Aren’t we the city that never sleeps?

And last but not least:

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS… why are these up before Thanksgiving!!!

Sorry. that last one is a pet peeve of mine. Not because I am a Jew (hey I don’t yank out the Menorah the second the Halloween candy is gone either), but because I feel the need to savor the moment of one holiday before the next one is out there.

Sorry, but it’s kind of like those people that say the summer is almost over on August 1st.

So folks, my holiday message for you all is to try your best to BE HERE NOW. Where ever that might be. And try to spend at least one day with your glass half full (hopefully with alcohol if you are spending it with family).

Love. Hugs. And a spectacular L-tryptophan induced sleep at the end of the holiday to you all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, holidays