I am sure there is someone out there whose heart is warmed with the memory of eating this at grandma’s house, but me? Well I just love the little guy and the name of the stuff. No I did not taste it, I was not feeling all that adventurous.
Gary and I eat breakfast on Saturday mornings at a favorite little place called Ayan’s Mediterranean Marketplace. Ayan is a really cool guy who does a ton of give back to this town so I am giving him a little link love here. The place is adorable with a view of the water and it makes us feel like we are away even when we are home.
And while I am at it, since it is the weekend and I am feeling all sorts of charitable, here is a link to the makers of this lovely little delicacy, Koska. What, you don’t read Turkish? Ok, then press the English button at the bottom of their site. Yum, gotta get me some Kagit Helva!
I know, this is a really odd post. What else do you expect when you come here, current events?
There is much talk about bloggers being viewed, or perhaps narcissistically viewing themselves, as media. Me? I view my self as someone with an off-beat view on everyday life that keeps me entertained and helps me from not going over the edge from the stresses of life. I have long kept my friends entertained this way and started to blog to bring this warped vision to a bigger audience. (friends and family getting bored).
You can only imagine how surprised I was to find a link in my stats that brought me here. For those too lazy or not inclined to click that link, my blog post about CallAhead portable toilets has been featured on their website in the media section!
This is where I tell Gary about how bloggers get free stuff all the time when they mention people’s products. Hey, CallAhead has a better social media strategy than J&J for Motrin? Yikes, way to go potty guys! Do you guys Twitter? You can find me there @amyz5.
Gary’s response: Great, so what will we get, a free porta san on the front lawn? You couldn’t blog about BMW?
Ok, so here’s the thing. If the social media director at BMW is out there scanning blogs I just want to let you know that I am a really loyal customer and I love, love, love, my X3 and the lease is coming up soon. And Gary happens to have a really sweet 325ci convertible that is getting kind of old and we have a kid in college and another one on the way into college so car $ are tight and I would be real happy to blog all the time about your fantastic products because frankly BMW is my life and we could do a thing called extreme vehicle makeover where you drive away my old car and bring me a new one just because I happened to write about a billboard with a funny slogan on it about being #1 at picking up #2…
Alright, so maybe the CallAhead on the front lawn is a little more realistic.
Why do I find myself insanely jealous of whoever made this bumper sticker? I mean really, is that normal behavior?
I saw this in a parking lot and almost got hit by a car trying to take the picture. (that would be hard to explain: Well you see, officer, there was this bumper sticker that I HAD to get a shot of so I stopped while I was walking through the parking lot and did not realize that a car was coming and the rest is history. “That’s fine, really don’t worry”. And then to his partner, “call for a psych consult”)
For a change, I digress. So let’s talk Barbie for a minute. First, and foremost, we hate her because she is insanely skinny and never seems to be going to action figure Weight Watchers meetings. Nor does she age come to think of it.
Second, she has Ken and even though he does not have a penis (nor does she have nipples for that matter) they do seem to be a lovely couple and their relationship has been going on for… wait, let me Google this. Wow 43 years? But wait again, in my search there were a few references to a split. You can read about it on Bloggingscious (what kind of name is that and how do you pronounce it, is that like blogging delicious, hmmmm not working for me) and Man Behind the Doll (now there is a name to love). Whatever, it seems the breakup is way old news anyway. Give or take a few years these two have been together for a long time.
Third, she has the dream house for G-d sake. And the dream car. And all those tiny little shoes that little kids are forever getting stuck up their noses (Jana, did you do this or was that someone else?)
But, I worry about poor Barbie these days. Did she overextend herself with the mortgage on the Malibu beach house? Click that last link to find out more possible financial disasters for our dear old friend Barbie. Perhaps we should not worry, after all Poor is the New Rich! Once again, the old girl is always in fashion.
Wait, did she have a last name?
Oh yes she does! Dear Barbie has a Wikipedia page and her full name would be Barbara “Barbie” Millicent Roberts born March 9, 1959. OMG we are the same friggin’ age (yes I am that old, I just don’t act all that mature). Just in case you need to see the family tree you can see it here.
I know what you are all thinking right about now, ” what if she parked somewhere else today, what would she have written about?”
Call it fate, or emerging insanity. Me? Just thrilled to have gained all that Barbie knowledge.
Am I living in a time warp traveling at light speed back to my childhood? Could Spam actually be back on the top of the food charts? What next, Velveeta – the spam of cheeses? Vienna sausages?
Believe it or not, Spam made it to the cover of Saturday’s NYT business section. Andrew Martin wrote a comprehensive article about Spam sales in the down economy that gave me way more information than I ever cared to know about the grisly little cake of gelatinous gooey meat product. There were however some great factoids I have to share here:
1. They market Spam with the tagline “Crazy Tasty”. I LOVE that. I wonder how long they have used that.
2. Austin, MN advertises itself as Spamtown and has 13 restaurant with Spam on the menu. (Note to self: do not take Gary here, there will be no egg white omelettes, bagels with a schmeer or Earl Grey tea with honey)
3. There is a Spam Museum where you can buy Spam ties (Rik, you need this account) as well as many other wonderful Spam gift items. The tagline is “Sure Beats an Art Museum”. I swear. I am crying from this. You should see me here in the command center, hysterical laughing. I am so easily amused. I MUST visit this place. Gary’s 50th was a trip to the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Same guests, please pack your bags in September, my 50th is going to be in Austin, MN.
4. Because it is vacuum sealed, Spam can last for years. They say it is “like meat with a pause button”. Ew, I am sorry, that is just not right.
5. On a recent day 149,950 cans of Spam were made on the day shift. That’s a hell of a lot of Spam. Perhaps we should start watching Hormel’s stock.
Some other products with soaring sales are Velveeta (I read that after I wrote the first paragraph, I must be a trend forecaster), pancake mixes, boxed mac and cheese, instant potatoes, Jell-O and Kool-aid. Wait, did someone just open my mom’s pantry cabinet of 1968? Are canned string beans on this list too? Do they still make Fizzies? I friggin’ loved root beer Fizzies. Anyone? Fizzies? Was it just me?
So, what? We throw out all that we have learned about healthy eating and go back to high fat and preservative foods to save money? Hmmm… cyclical. What’s old is new again.
Spam is the new fois gras. Honestly, they look the same to me.
Since this post has made me nostalgic for my childhood days, I will leave you with one of my favorite Monty Python skits. Jeanne, this one’s for you babe. (email subscribers, click over the blog to watch this, it will make you laugh)
This came to my attention on Twitter from @akaSylvia. Check out her website (way cool).
This little item falls under the category of who the hell thinks of this stuff? The answer would be artist Nadine Jarvis of the UK.
This box of 240 pencils is made from the cremated ash of a human being. Yes, you read that correctly. Kind of like Soylent pencils, if you will. It would appear that one average body yields 240 pencils. I would suppose results may vary with say an anorexic or someone who was morbidly obese.
Each pencil is foil stamped with the name of the person and their dates of birth and death. What a lovely personalized touch. Imagine the factory, ‘Damn Joe, who’s ashes did you say we used for this one?’ ‘No worries, how will they be able to tell?’ Oh we loved ones can tell, Joe, don’t screw this up!
Only one pencil can be removed at a time, it is sharpened back into the box where the shavings take up the space of the used pencils. At the end of the line the shavings, or reconstituted ash, fill the box making transforming it into an urn. How lovely. Kind of like ashes to pencils to shavings… hmmm, kind of a weird ring to that. The window in the box acts as a timeline showing the amount of pencils that are left.
Of course I became curious as to who Joseph Wald was on those pencils. But the Google search only yielded more blog posts about this item. Bloggers love weird shit, for sure.
…or why you should always have $5 in your pocket in Times Square.
I kid you not, my friends. Oh no, did I just say ‘my friends’? Help, I think my brain has been infiltrated by election pop culture. Um, do you think? This is my 4th friggin’ consecutive post on this drivel. I can’t help it, everyday gets more amusing.
Back to the story of the condom. I was walking from Penn Station to meet Gary and some friends for dinner on 56th Street. For those who know NY, this is a walk through the belly of the beast known as Times Square. At rush hour! This is about as out of the basement as you can get.
Overstimulation is an underestimation.
I was getting into the bob and weave of the ebb and flow of bodies and traffic, street noises and meat-on-a-stick smells, when all of the sudden I hear:
“Get your Sarah Palin Condoms. Limited Edition!”
What? Are you KIDDING me? And there it was again, coming from another place. And then another. There must have been a half a dozen young men carrying boxes of condoms. A whole swarm of condom hawkers. (BTW, they also had Obama and McCain – those are simply not funny).
But Palin condoms? With the tagline “When abortion is not an option”. That is absolutely hysterical.
Here is the best part. A young french man came up to the vendor as I was buying one.
French Man: what are theez?
Vendor: Sarah Palin condoms.
French Man: Ugh! I wooood not put my deeeek in one of theez.
And this is when I knew for sure that the humor gods had smiled down upon me once again and I could live another day!
(fyi, you can purchase them here, but they are cheaper on the street if you happen to be in Times Square).
Also, my candidate paper dolls came today. They are so amazing I must do a follow-up post on them. Just a preview… first page, they are in their underwear!
In celebration of the last presidential debate taking place just minutes away from where I live I thought I would bring this wonderful find to your attention.
Dover Publications has jumped on the election bandwagon with these campaign edition paper dolls. (fyi, if you are reading this on a blackberry you MUST find a computer to see this picture!)
I don’t think I can resist the buy. They are ‘collectibles’ for G-d sake. Somewhere down the line I know I will be so sorry if I don’t own these. Kind of like when I had to go back into the store to buy the Albert Einstein action figure last week. Hey, where did I put that? Isn’t it time I start posing him in odd places?
Take a look at the art on both of these. Obama has that suave debonair look of a 1960s James Bond. McCain? Well he has no neck for starters. Or maybe it is just that his head is not on right. (cheap shot, I know).
What struck me was their hands. The gestures are actually quite true to life.
The best part of all? These come with election night scorecards! THAT is truly fabulous.
Maybe I should buy these for Jana to celebrate her first election!
Go ahead, order them, they are only $7.99 each!
Now everyone get ready for the debate and don’t forget to drink on maverick.
I am very excited to be posting at 50-something mom blogs today. Don’t miss my tattoo thoughts.
I know. I spend way too much time making references to Spanx. If I spent that much time doing sit-ups I could finally lose this Spanx jones and get that lycra monkey off my back/ass. (oh, sorry, i digress into my Jimi Hendrix persona now and then).
So, when one of my BBFFs (best blog friends forever), Finding Blanche, posted this video today with a suggestion by Mary (below) that we continue the love with this one, I jumped at the chance. It is long but so funny (almost as funny as my Seth Diamond video) you will go back and watch at least parts of it again. This is why I love the internet! This one is actually the Leggs version. (hey, maybe I should try those)
Here is the history: Finding Blanche posted this after she found it on Gnightgirl who posted it after she found it on Fighting Mad Mary who found it on GloZell. That’s whose it is, by the way. GloZell’s.
Would love to see this keep on going. Any takers for tomorrow?
This was sent to me by Riki (of the lost ring in the car fame). It brought up all sorts of questions for us. Like, do they really think that after taking a leak on a promo message you are more inclined to buy that product? “Honey, I just peed on an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken, let’s go get some”.
Now think about this one. Who does the installation of these? Or better yet, who changes them!
For those who are in the healthcare field, note the joke in the photo. For those who are not, Flomax is a medication for male urinary symptoms.
What really boggles my mind, is who thought of this and then better yet, was able to sell it in to a boss or investor? “Ok, so I have this great idea to brand urinal screens. That’s right, we are going out to sell the idea to brand managers that having people piss on their logo is a great way to get them to buy their products. What? No of course that does not have a negative connotation. This is brand loyalty at it’s finest. Get the consumer when he is most vulnerable, with this pecker in his hand. This is a gold mine I tell you!”
Now that is one great salesperson!
I particularly like the splash graphic. I certainly don’t want that illustrator using MY bathroom.
And finally, let’s look at the suggested markets.
Trade shows – as if you don’t see enough crap there, oh right this is about pee, not crap. Maybe we need to think about toilet liners.
Radio stations – um…why? don’t get this.
Pharmaceuticals – viagra, anyone?
PSA’s (public service announcement for those not in the biz) – “urine, the anti-drug?” or maybe this is a good place to warn about drug testing. or is it just that PSA sounds like… never mind that was a cheap shot.
Beverage/Spirits – this one is obvious. you drink, you pee.
Pranks – ummmmm…duh!
Sports Rivalries – piss on your rivals!
I believe it is safe to say this is THE most ridiculous ad specialty I have seen yet (and I have seen many). But hey, what do I know? I thought botox cosmetics was a bad idea.
i must admit that i procrastinated for a good 10 minutes bowling for tampons today instead of getting my work done. (if any of my clients who were waiting for their jobs are reading this i am only kidding). go ahead, play for awhile. i dare you to stop after one frame. a tip: i prefer nikki with the purple ball. once i figured out her curve ball i bowled a 257!
thanks to a post from my new friend at findingblanche, (hi wendy) i have been introduced to the site for dittie, a new tampon. seriously, do we need a new tampon? don’t tampax, playtex and OB basically have all our preferences covered?
and the bigger question is what on earth possessed these guys to position a tampon to be ‘serious about making your period more fun’. again, my favorite line comes to mind:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
could this possibly be a marketing strategy conceived by ANYONE who has ever bled?
i personally am sans uterus after too many fibroids crowded my womb and i got fed up and yanked that baby out. (too crass?, whatevs). and i have to be perfectly honest. i just don’t feel all that left out about not having the opportunity to have more fun with my period.
oh, one more plug for findingblanche, she has the most hysterical joe cocker vid on her blog that you must watch.
wait, did i just use the word cocker in a tampon post…
i could cry but i don't have time 