Tag Archives: humor

Blogaversary

blogaversary

Believe it or not, my friends, today marks my one year blogaversary. Yes, I have been banging away here on the the keyboard for a full year, trying to make you all laugh. I look back on my first post and still consider it one of my best: Spanx, Dunkin Donuts and the fear of YouTube. I had no idea what this crazy blog would become. Oddly that first post set the tone and made me realize that my life can be funny sometimes.

I hardly remember life before blogging. Everything seems like it should be a post. Sad, funny, poignant, disgusting, it is all blogworthy.

I think what this blog has done most for me, is made me walk the walk of its mission; to laugh, sometimes to the point of tears.

Face it, life is hard, and we all get cranky… A LOT. Those who know me well hear me kvetch on a regular basis. But this is the place I come to at the end of every day to force myself to see the humorous side of things. No matter how down I get, the idea of a big box of shut the hell up will always get a laugh out of me. Sometimes the topics are ones where you would never find humor, like aging parents. Other times it is just the theatre of the absurd, like the Freakatorium, because that is the best place to escape.

Hey, without this blog I would never have been the Minneapolis fm107.1 Get Real Girl of the Week. A thrill no woman should be denied.

As a little gift to myself I submitted the word blogaversary to Urban Dictionary. If approved this will join my other words there: bloganoia, psuedosnarky, twitobirth, twirgin and twexpert. Yes, it is an odd hobby but someone has to do it. Why? I don’t know, but someone does.

I want to thank all of you that read me so loyally. Those I know in real life, and those I have met through this space. Social media has combined my two faves, connecting with people and technology. I was a natural for this crap.

In celebration of this event, you can stop racking your brains on what to get me (no I am not registered at Blogs ‘r Us), simply humor me and throw a comment out today. Those who read daily but stay quiet, show a little love and tell me what you like, or what you don’t like. A favorite post, a least favorite topic. Or hell, share a recipe or a story of your own. Just de-lurk and show me that you are there. Then you can go back into your little holes and read quietly again after today.

Thank you all, and I see you in the stats so I know you are there. For making me realize that there is always room for more humor in your lives.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

25 Comments

Filed under blogging, friendship, humor, writing

Evolving Darwin Playset

evolving_darwin_playset

Who could resist such an item? I am starting to accumulate a serious toy collection in my office. At first I just took a picture of this one but Gary convinced me to go back and buy it. He knew I would be sorry. You have to love that about him.

It all started with the Albert Einstein Action Figure – funny how you have such a soft spot in your heart for your first. I actually bought two of those, one to keep sealed and one to play with.

Back to Darwin. My favorite part is the thought bubble:

‘From “Fish-Man” to “Genius” in only 380 Million Years!

Brilliant! Simply Brilliant.

I wish I could have gotten a close up on Fish Man’s face, he was Jana’s favorite part.

This lovely item, and another that I will grace you with later on, are made by the company Accoutrements. I just love to say that word, don’t you? Here is a little something from their About Us page:

For over 25 years we’ve provided the world with amazing products that provoke, challenge and entertain. From our Yodelling Pickle to our Bacon Bandages, we create things that people need to have!

I have to admit, I am thinking of buying those Bacon Bandages. (for my vegetarian brother of course)

You can purchase their items retail at mcphee.com. There you can purchase some all-time faves like Stress Weiner (your husband will thank you), Mr. Bacon vs. Monsiuer Tofu (an interesting match to say the least) or the ever popular Watermelon Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Lollipops (because seriously, who DOESN’T want to suck on a little Freud – as always a little head would be nice).

Oh and don’t forget the Love Rats (wasn’t that a B52’s song)

Hey Accoutrements, let’s see how good your social media monitoring is out there. I am thinking I should be getting a nice care package of absurdities for this post, don’t you?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, companies, products

Cheez-Its vs. Jesus

cheez-its1It could have been a case of Woody Allen style Jewish paranoia, or perhaps it was simply a loss of hearing combined with a little too much to drink. But last weekend, while enjoying a weekend birthday celebration for a friend, her sister mistook the word ‘Cheez-Its’ for ‘Jesus’. We were staying at a resort that was short on Jews and I think the atmosphere led her to start hearing everything with a sort of Christian filter.

Whatever the reason, this made for a most hysterical encounter. In the spirit of always carrying a camera, and now a video thanks to my Flip Mino, I decided to do a little mini-documentary. I asked the question that has puzzled religious philosophers for centuries, “Tell me the difference between Cheez-Its and Jesus”.

Due to a severe case of bloganoia and in respect for the privacy of those who would rather not have the entire internet witness their Patron-induced silly behavior, I will not post the video but will share with you my favorite answers.

There is nothing better than getting a religious woman who is part of a Chrisitan Mom’s Ministry group to tell you this:

Cheez-Its are full of calories and will give you a fat ass, while Jesus will save you from your own fat ass.

Better yet, her crazy college friend who jumps in behind her with:

I beg to differ. In the middle of the afternoon when you are starving, Cheez-Its can be TRUE salvation.

From the original paranoid Jewess:

Cheez-Its smell, and as far as I know, Jesus does not.

And yet another misunderstanding but a funny one none the less:

Wait, there are different flavors of Jesus?! I think that would work very will with bringing in the younger generation and helping engage them. Oh, different flavors of Cheez-Its, never mind.

Anyone else want to jump in with an answer?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, religion

Shop, Shlep, Repeat

shop_shlep_repeat

For those who are not of the tribe, or who don’t live amongst a large concentration of Jews, to shlep is to lug or carry something. As in all the crap you just bought.

I hate to shop. No seriously, I am a NY Jewish woman that hates to shop. We are a rare breed but there are some of us out there. My daughter is the same way.

This woman? You have to love someone who not only would buy a bag like this, but would actually carry it. As part of my ‘always carry a camera’ philosophy I was lucky enough that I only had to stalk her for a block or two before she stopped at a red light.

For those who would like to purchase this bag I am so very sorry, but I did not have time to ask her before she vanished in the crowd.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, New York City

She bit her tongue?

bite_tongue_bird

Conversation with my mom tonight:

Mom: I spoke with so-and-so today.

Me: That’s nice, you haven’t heard from her in awhile.

Mom: No, we have been talking a lot lately. She is a bit lonely. She doesn’t have many friends her age anymore that she can talk to.

Me: She NEVER had any friends, of any age.

Dad: (in the background) She NEVER had any friends. (Dad and I think alike, we are both evil to my mom’s sweetness)

Mom: Behave, the both of you. It was a nice conversation. She bit her tongue.

Me: Really? I am so surprised, she was never one to not say what was on her mind.

Mom: No, she actually BIT HER TONGUE. It was bleeding and everything!

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, conversations, humor, relationships

Jesus Toast Tattoo

toast_tatoo

No I did not make this up. Another famous product from my travels. Should have been in the same aisle as the Believe in God Instantly Breath Spray but it was not. Unfortunate missed opportunity in merchandising in my opinion.

Imagine this one at the breakfast table:

Morning honey, do you want butter or jam on your Jesus?

I am not sure what makes people come up with products like this. Do you think it disrespectful, evangelical or kinda cool. It’s polling time folks. For those on email, jump over to the blog online and cast your vote. For all you non commenting lurkers out there (which would be most of you) don’t worry, the voting is anonymous. This is between you and your maker, k?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor

OCD Action Figure

ocd_actionfigure

I know what you are thinking, ‘where does she FIND this stuff?’ You know, I think it just finds me. Once again let me disclaimer this post with the fact that some of my best friends and family members are leaning towards the obsessive compulsive direction.

If you remember awhile back I came across the famous Albert Einstein Action Figure. I loved that one. These items are starting to clutter my office. Perhaps I need my twitter friend @erdoland from unclutter.com to come in and organize all my toys. Erin, you might like this item!

Take a look at this baby. The accessories are the best part. Who would not love to carry an Obsessive-Compulsive Sanitary, Hypoallergenic Moist (not dry) Towelette in their bag?

On the back of this package there is a list of famous obsessive compulsives. I will disclaimer as I did not fact check and am only writing what is on the package:

Howard Hughes (no surprise)

Charles Dickens (please sir, i want some more moist towelettes)

Mark Summers (Double Dare host, that is pretty funny)

Hans Christian Anderson (hmmm, wikepedia mentions his bisexuality but not the OCD piece)

Florence Nightingale (I think OCD is a good quality for a nurse)

Woody Allen (oh right, that this one is a shock)

Charles Darwin (did he line up the apes or did he not?)

There is also a list of questions and a rating system to decide if you are an obsessive compulsive.

I am not. But I am surely a psycho.

Have a great weekend all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Believe in God…Instantly

believe_in_god_breathspray2

I simply LOVE the addition of the word *instantly*.

Just another one of those precious products that I found on my travels. I love the woman in the picture. Notice the Photoshop rendition of the cross around her neck. Oh my!

And the copy in the yellow circle ‘miraculously PEPPER-minty faith-enhancing breathspray’ The As Seen on TV logo gives this sucker some serious validity.

Really now! Surrender yourself to a higher power and never feel alone again?

All that in a handy pocket-sized breath spray. AND you get good breath as an added bonus. What more could one ask?

One question, though. Can you really TM the phrase Believe in God? I find that hard to believe.

Do you think they sell these at religious institutions?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, marketing, products

Someone at Penn State Loves Me

penn_state

Ah, college touring. What parent does not love the idea of a few days of quality time alone with their kid? The kid, not so much. But this guy is a good sport. Like his sister before him, he humors my crazy ass with my binders, schedules and printed out directions and sits back for the ride trying his best to soak in the experience.

Being that this is the second time around I have found the best defense for boredom is to keep them laughing and to point out the absurd whenever possible.

This crazy blue haired beauty was in the window of one of the best college town shops I have seen in a long time, Peoples Nation, State College, PA. (you can look forward to many a blog post surrounding pictures I took in here). I particularly like the choice of shirt on this maniac-quin. This image is what freshman parents’ nightmares are made from.

I will be posting about the full college  touring experience over at 50-something mom blog soon. I will let you know when that is up.

For know, i could cry will be featuring the best of what makes my family laugh. Welcome to our world.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Next stop, Maryland.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, college touring, humor, moms, places of interest

Colon Medic?!

cm1

Colon Medic? Ew. Ew. Ew!!

Lose weight with your mate (oh jeez). Really, who wants to *flush out up to 25 pounds* in the presence of their mate.

Seriously! Nice Valentines Day celebration. Honey, we are so happy together and I want to share the relief of my constipation and bloating with you. Let’s remove deadly toxins and make beautiful music together. (use your imagination on that last one). I love the picture. Um, honey I would step away from the back of that guy and fast!

Oh, best of all it is FREE. Could that be because no one would actually pay for this.

Hmmm, shipping not included, terms may apply. What kind of terms, I shudder to speculate.

Where did this come from? I got this as an email blast. I am the target customer for this because…?

Alternate product name: Tusch Dr.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

16 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, products