February 18, 2010 · 9:51 pm

Girls, what?

Danny and I were behind this car the other day and could not agree on what it meant.

I think it meant Girls 24/7, perhaps with a pimp driving. Or maybe a Tiger Woods type.

But Danny? He thought it meant Girls 2,4 and 7. As if this was a mom’s car and she had three daughters that were 2, 4 and 7.

Now, does anyone else find it concerning that the mom thinks pimpmobile and the 17-year-old boy thinks mom-mobile?

I will put this out to the crowd. Please vote on this and help end the discussion.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 17, 2010 · 7:40 pm

Honey, does this potato make my butt look fat?

No, folks, no Photoshop miracle here. This baby came right out of the bin at the supermarket we affectionately call Stinky Farms (for the way it used to smell when I was pregnant, before they renovated).

I always find it uncanny when I find body part vegetables. This is not the first time I have blogged about them. Who could forget my friend Katie’s rather impressive cucumber from fire island? (All the other vegetables were jealous Vol. 1) or the rather impressive horse radish during Passover (vol 2)? And then of course there is Gary’s hidden talent for peeling an orange into an ‘elephant’ (cough, cough, yeh right)

But this one? This one is almost freakish in its resemblance to a perfect little baby’s butt.

Yeh, I know, you all wish you could go food shopping with me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, carry a camera, gardening, gary, holidays, humor

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February 16, 2010 · 9:44 pm

Taking the Gold in Snow Shoveling

4:30 AM Wake up to snow… again (damn)

5:30 AM Still snowing, thinking about shoveling. (damn, again)

7:30 AM Drag our asses out of bed and think, “We are so over snow!” (except for Mel, she loves the stuff)

Until…

I walked outside and saw how breathtakingly beautiful everything was. And even more beautiful was the sight of Gary in that red jacket halfway through the job!

I love this shot. If not for the signage and his jacket the whole world was black and white. We had just finished our annex shoveling job – our 88-year-old neighbor who I swear is going to propose to Gary if he shovels there one more time. That Danny, he went and had all 4 wisdoms pulled just so he would not have to shovel again!

There has been talk of a snow-blower, but then how would we go for the gold?

Is it almost spring yet?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 15, 2010 · 5:29 pm

No Time to Cry – Fat Tuesday

Ok, I admit it. I have fallen hopelessly in love. No, don’t worry, I am not leaving my adorable husband. This love affair is with ‘Nawlins, my friends. And what better day to blog about it from the rooftops, if you will, than on Fat Tuesday? So for this week, Time to Cry Tuesday will be replaced with No Time, in celebration of Mardi Gras.

If you have been following along here at i could cry, you would know that I have become quite infatuated with all things New Orleans. Hating to be cliché and ride the post-Superbowl wave, but timing is everything. At the same time that the Saints took center stage I visited The Big Easy for the first time. And I am still trying to figure out how I could live 50(ouch) years without ever visiting a place that is so aligned with my essence.

The season of New Orleans has come, and who deserves it more. The spirit of the place has survived one of the worst natural disasters on American soil, and it still comes bubbling up, sticking it’s tongue out with a big wide drunken grin screaming ‘ain’t nobody gonna beat dem Saints – who dat, who dat!”

When we visited, the streets could spontaneously break out into song and a turn down a little alleyway could bring us upon the most spectacularly off beat gallery. A place truly built on art and music, this town is irreverent, ballsy, and quirky. And even better, it seems to not put all that much value on botox, brands or bank accounts. Um, does this sound like anyone to you guys? Are you starting to see the resemblance?

This past Saturday night we had a blast at the 4th Annual Nolafunk Mardi Gras Ball at Le Poissin Rouge on Bleeker Street. We went to see Bonerama perform but loved Tab Benoit as well. I am sure Big Sam’s Funky Nation was just as– well – funky, but a few hours of 95° heat, dancing, singing and crowds was enough for us.

I stood near the stage with those horns blowing, behind the world’s oldest hippie, the costumed characters marching through the crowds, feeling like this mass of humanity was one big living breathing party organism and it was impossible to not fall madly in love. Somewhere around the second chorus of Aiko I lost my voice and could not care less.

The thing about the New Orleans culture is that it is all-inclusive. The crowd at this show was not one of posers, or rockers, blues guys or jazz aficianodos, these people were not skinny or fat, young or old… this was a crowd of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. There is something about that music that brings everyone together in one place for one reason and one reason only – to have an amazing time. To love life even when it sucks. To get out there and feel the joy of the music no matter what your troubles are when you leave. Not just survivors, but more soldiers of feel good.

I suppose if I were asked what city I would most want to be, I might just have to say New Orleans.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 13, 2010 · 12:45 am

Olympic Malfunctioning Caldron and Other Fails

I waited all week for this. I LOVE the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I know it is a little corny but I can’t help it. And I have to say I was greatly disappointed. The last winter olympics opening ceremony in Beijing was so spectacular, this simply fell flat. Even the logo was so much cooler last time.

There was, however, one tremendous highlight for our family. The Canadian National Anthem was sung by a 16-year-old super talent named Nikki Yanofsky. And why do we care? Because not only is Nikki an alum of my kids’ camp, she was my daughter’s camper. Check out her official Olympic song here. It hit #1 on Canada’s itunes. Chills from this one. You go Nikki, we are very proud!

Back to the opening ceremonies. Here are my top 5 fails:

5. First half hour… painfully boring. I kept looking for the Cirque style bungee jumpers and fell short with beads and head dresses.

4. What was the criteria for being one of the dancers in the white outfits, did you just have to have legs?

3. Opera singer… OMG who thought it would be a good idea to do that after 11PM?

2. The speeches: 2 old guys droning on for 15 minutes after 11:30? Bilingually. Seriously!

And the number 1 fail of the ceremonies, the one we are sure that someone was fired for, the one that brought about all sorts of cursing behind the scenes (in French AND English) would be…

1. The caldron malfunction!

Although they were fortunate enough not to have a nipple show during this sucker, we did notice Wayne Gretsky getting awfully antsy waiting for those poles to rise.

All in all, this was a sleeper. Although we were quite fond of the suspended thing that had a Georgia O’keefe Tri-vaginal quality about it. I believe Larry knick-named it The Trigina. (another Urban Dictionary entry for sure).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 11, 2010 · 9:29 pm

Dr. Hey-Nanny-Nanny

File this under I am pretty sure my son will need therapy after being parented by the likes of us.

Dinner conversation:

Gary: Danny if I was an oby/gyn I would let you come in the delivery room.

Danny: Oh greeeeaaaat. (lots of eye rolling)

Me: That’s lovely. Would the tagline on your business card be ‘Hey Nanny Nanny is my bi-nuss’?

Gary: No, but Hey Nanny Nanny would definitely be my license plate.

(Judy, just a quick question, does anyone in your practice refer to it as the Hey Nanny Nanny? And if yes, do they have it on their license plate?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, advice to my son, conversations, danny, family, humor, license plates

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February 10, 2010 · 8:35 pm

We’re Ok

Oh, how I love a good license plate. This was a tough shot. But thanks to Miss Jana literally hanging out the back seat window, in the rain, I have this perfect shot of a plate I must say I am rather jealous of.

I wonder if their other car has a plate that says ‘NOT OK’ for the days when things are not going so well.

After the big blizzard of 2010, or as the news has called it Snowzilla, Snowmageddon or some such nonsense, I thought this was a nice sentiment. We New Yorkers have nothing to really complain about after what DC/Baltimore/Philly have had to deal with this past week.

Gary is OK after insisting upon driving to work and back. ‘Hey, the drive was fine, there was no one on the road.’ Um, could that be because we are in the MIDDLE OF A DAMN BLIZZARD and most people have the sense to stay off the road?

Mel is OK after a full day of playing in the snow.

Danny is OK after shoveling, how many times was that? Maybe 4, plus digging out our 89 year old neighbor to boot.

And I am OK after 3 rounds of shoveling, cooking one kick-ass stew, baking a few dozen muffins all while banging on the keyboard and still getting a good day’s work done. Oh, and I think I have the new facebook all straightened out.

Yep, we’re OK.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 9, 2010 · 6:56 pm

Sleep Apnea and You

Ahh, those fabulous facebook targeted ads. Does anyone else pay attention to these? One of my concerns of late is that I get more absurd ads than anyone else. Am I paranoid, or am I truly the Magnet For the Absurd (MFTA)?

This beauty came across my page the other night:

What the hell? What is a CPAP mask and is anyone else horrified at the idea of sleeping next to someone wearing one of these things? And, oh wise algorithm of facebook…why me? I wonder, is there a huge population of women my age on facebook that suffer from sleep apnea. Or is this just an ad that rotates through the entire facebook community in hopes that they will find those who do suffer. I had to do myself a little research on this (big surprise) and found this horrifying article that states the following:

New research from South Korea indicates that people who suffer from severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) have reduced concentrations of gray matter in multiple areas of the brain.

Gray matter refers to the brain’s cerebral cortex, where most of the analyzing processes take place. The changes in brain structure maybe the cause of heart and memory problems—which are both common in individuals with OSA.

Oh crap, is my lack of gray matter showing! Honey does this reduced gray matter make my ass look fat?

I digress, back to facebook ads. I can understand some of the others that show up on my page. You know the ones that target everything towards 50-year-olds just to remind me how old I am in case I maybe forgot for a moment or two in between the days when AARP has sent me membership cards – I have received 7 to date, no lie. I have seen the Buy Uggs at 50 ad with the pink Uggs that no one on earth would be caught dead in. Figuring this ad was done by some 20-something who thinks her mom’s friends are lame enough to buy them. Or the hey 50-year-old we need you to test out the i-pad, maybe because the i-adultdiaper is not quite out of beta yet! Yeesh!

Wait, what was this post about again? (uh oh, must be the gray matter thing)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 8, 2010 · 6:05 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – My Little Man

If you are lucky, there is a little man in your life. I have one and he is the light of my days; surely in the warm weather when he is outside bright and early. I start my mornings with a visit from him. Perhaps he is more interested in seeing my dog, but he always gives me a big smile and it is all I can do to stop from biting his little face off. (ok, a bit much)

Ryan is the son and grandson of my dear neighbors. His mom and aunt actually babysat for my kids back in the day; lots of history. We like to think of them as the Irish side of our family. We are blessed to have neighbors that we adore.

Saturday morning I was getting ready to go out when I got a phone call from his grandfather, “Ryan has something for you, can you meet us at the garage door in a couple of minutes?” I opened the door and there he was with a plate of cupcakes for Gary, Danny, Mel (who would have eaten the whole plate if given the option) and I. Look at those little hands, now imagine how adorable his face is (sorry, I don’t post other people’s little kids here, but believe me his face is as cute as his hands).

He was so very proud of himself. Standing there with a grin from ear to ear. He is the best poser I know. And I could not help but think how incredibly lucky I am to have this little man in my life. He loves me unconditionally (as long as I am with my dog, anyway), always has a smile for me and tells a story like no other. No matter how rough a day I am having, a visit from Ryan makes me realize what life is all about. His zest for everything, his 5-year-old humor and mild obsession with landscapers is somewhat contagious (well maybe not the landscaper thing).

And the best part? He has a little sister who I plan on winning over just the same.

Thanks for the cupcakes Ry!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 7, 2010 · 10:48 pm

Superbowl ad roundup

Yeh, I am one of the people who is more into the ads than the football. Although this year I was a little bit into the football since I have an affection for the Saints after my trip to New Orleans. Or maybe it is more the Saints fans that I loved. Whatever, I am happy for a city that has known so much pain to have a real reason to celebrate (as if they need one – that town can party!)

Back to the ads. I will give a blanket opinion… they sucked. Except, of course, for talking babies because no one will ever get tired of them because, well because they are talking babies! And Milkaholic was a great word. So E-Trade, you got it right and keeping with what works was a good idea.

Ok, how about Pop Secret? (or whatever popcorn brand it was) with the people as dolphins which was just damn creepy. And that unforgettable tagline: Awesome + Awesome = Awesomer. Um, yeh, that’s brilliant, right? I have sat in on many a creative presentation in my day. I can’t imagine who on earth would not only approve that but agree to sign a check for it. The group I was with decided the boss’s 11 year old kid came up with it, they forced it on the agency and they figured they would save some money on creative. Big fail!

Then there were the series of women bashing, “I am tired of being a ‘whipped’ husband” type of ads. The best line of all was in the Dodge Charger commercial where one of the lines in between “I promise to be nice to your mother” and “I will always take out the recycling” there was this gem of a line “I will hold your lip balm in my pocket.” C’mon ladies, how many of you out there ask you husband to ‘hold your lip balm’. Aside from every one of these ads looked like they hired their talent from one single casting call, I wonder why in the year 2010 we are not evolved enough to avoid playing into the obvious neanderthal ads making being a husband seem like the worst job on earth. Oh and of course there was the Dockers ad with all the guys in a field in their skivvies. The point of that was, “Put your pants on” Um, again, huh?

So… I am sticking with my opinion that Pepsi made the best move of all by taking all their millions and deciding to make a difference. Check out the Pepsi Refresh Project. Take a stroll around the site and check out the many ways they are going to make a difference in the coming year…

Instead of goofing on guys and making wives look like a pack of blogging, oops I mean nagging biatches.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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