Break fart at Brennan’s?
Well with all the hollandaise sauce that would probably be likely.
Is it me, or does that ‘s’ look like and ‘r’?
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, humor
We all get them. These stupid spam emails that come from all sorts of ridiculous sender names. They have silly subject lines and almost all of them lead to a canadian pharmacy website peddling erectile dysfunction drugs. I always wonder why I get these emails. Am I targeted for being the type of woman whose penis envy is suffering from erectile dysfunction?
I found today’s email particularly entertaining. Let me break this one down.
Senders Name: Summer Flumerfelt. Now there is a porn star name if I ever heard one. Seriously, when did your flumer last get felt properly? Season or month first names always seem so fitting for porn stars.
Subject: You would, would you? Hmmm, cryptic, no? Definitive yet questioning. Or maybe this makes no sense at all but keeps us guessing that maybe we just are not sophisticated enough to get it. I love the two ‘woulds’ flanked by the two ‘yous’. Is anyone else out there as fascinated by sentence construction as I am? Did the writer even get that they were doing that? Do I have too much time on my hands today? (that last one was rhetorical)
Message: Treat-libido-problems-^efficently.. I guess the hypens between the words are an indication that this is some auto-generated messaging. Not sure about the other senseless punctuation but the message made me laugh. I can see wanting to treat a rash or dandruff efficiently, but libido? I would prefer treating that a notch or two above efficiently.
url link: http://unfake.it/smJO I almost missed the message in the middle of this one:
Unfake it.
I think that needs to be added to my t-shirt line!
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, humor, magnet for the absurd, search engine terms
I am always checking out the latest cause-related campaigns because they tie together my passion for marketing, promotion, social media, design and a worthy cause. One of the best things about the social web is the way those involved have embraced social good and incorporated it into some really fantastic promotions. One only needs to take a peek at what Pepsi has up its sleeve instead of the gazillion dollar Super Bowl ads this year.
Today I received an email from Zazzle promoting a photo contest with a fundraising component supporting Spay Day 2010.
Who better to enter this contest than our dear sweet Mel – the ultimate good sport. I entered the photo below because although there have been many featured on this blog in the past, this is my all time fave. She is a great model.
Below is a preview of a page where you can vote for my girl and make a donation to a local organization, The Animal Lovers League in Glen Cove. Here is a link to the page as well. If you feel so inclined, make a donation to a worthy cause. She has 30 votes already!
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under charity, pets, photography, social media
We often take for granted how small the world has become. Our kids consider the technology that enables constant communication to be a given. Ichat, videochat, skype, texting, IM, bbm, facebook, twitter; these all make email seem like snail mail to them. They lose their ability to disappear but I think the trade-off seems worth it to them.
Access. All the time. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
This post is about the good. Ok, so if you read me regularly you are not surprised that I would focus on the positive aspect of technology. But as a parent in the year 2010, with a daughter situated quite comfortably in Spain, technology is the greatest friggin’ thing on this earth.
Last night we had our first video chat with Jana since she left almost 2 weeks ago. You might imagine that this would have been about really important stuff. Well it was, sort of. For instance, we got to see the way her bathroom light turns on ‘all freaky’. And then she whispered ‘the boy’ into the computer screen as her spanish roommate came by and asked her a question. We got to wave hello to her other roommates and get a tour of her apartment. We talked about everything and nothing with her. Better than IM or texting, this was my kid with all her subtleties and nuances; her humor and expressions. The essence of who she is.
On the laptop screen.
On the dining room table.
As if she was there.
Now I know this is no big revelation. For the past few years this has become commonplace. But damn! I am a mom with a kid on the other side(ish) of the world and I can sit in the dining room and bullshit with her as if she were right here.
And it’s free!
C’mon, how cool is that?
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under Jana, technology, Time to Cry Tuesdays, travel
In celebration of the Grammy’s, or perhaps because it was the last day of the exhibit and my sweet sister-in-law made sure that I would not miss something so wonderful before it was over, we went to the Brooklyn Musuem’s “Who Shot Rock & Roll” this afternoon.
I will tell you all that I am sorry the show closed today because anyone who is a true fan should be sorry that they missed this gem. (Dr. Jimmy, we missed you!) Along with some of the most memorable images of the past 50 years in rock and roll, the exhibit was peppered with treats such as a full wall of a lenticular Jimi Hendrix (this is the process like the old wink buttons where the image changes when you move around it) , Jerry Garcia and Mountain Girl, and a mosh pit shot that defied reality. Also, not to give Jimi too much weight, but there was a series of him burning his guitar at Monterey Pop that I really wanted to slip in my bag on the way out. Amongst the iconic shots like Bob Gruen’s John Lennon in the NY T-shirt and images from rock photography greats like Danny Clinch and one of the world’s greatest photography talents, Richard Avedon, the show was more about the not so famous photographers. The men and women who never achieved great fame but shot those who did. I found their stories the most interesting.
As if this pre-Grammy day was not perfect enough, I drove home in time to hear Bob Dylan’s Theme Radio Show on XM and tonight’s theme was New York. Although I did not get to hear the whole show I did hear this: Duke Ellingtons, Take the A Train into Funky Broadway, not by Wilson Picket but Dyke & the Blazers, into a wonderful reading by Bob of Emma Lazurus’ The New Colossus (you know: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yadayadyada) into Lou Reed’s Dirty Blvd that parody’s that work. (Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I’ll piss on ’em
that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says. Your poor huddled masses, let’s club ’em to death and get it over with and just dump ’em on the boulevard.) Not gonna lie, had that one cranked up to window rattling levels. Always been a sucker for Lou Reed.
All in all, I go to bed tonight a happy camper. Sometimes the week beats the crap out of us. If we can rejuice with what we love on the weekend we wake up Monday with a better attitude and the skill set to try again.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under art, carry a camera, museums, music, photography
Not kidding. I have lived in the suburbs for the past 20 years and have only been to Costco one time. Until today. Gary usually does the Costco run. He loves keeping inventory, as my friend Todd would call it. And the CD section is his little treat at the end of the spree.
Today, I needed paper towels, Swiffer supplies and light bulbs. So I figured I would go with him to avoid spending $300 in the quest to buy those few items.
We drove up and someone had a couch on a dolly, wheeling it out to their car. They sell furniture at Costco?! Honestly, can I actually be the last person on earth who does not know this? Or who does not shop at one of the big box stores for that matter. I really need to get out of the basement more.
Not gonna lie, I did get a kick out of the place. And Karen, you were right, the little snack stations are simply divine. But for the life of me I cannot understand why anyone would think it was good merchandising to sell area rugs directly next to fresh fish. That just seems wrong. “Honey, I love this new rug you bought for the living room but it smells oddly like crab legs.”
My favorite purchases? 18 pack of sponges! Love that. And the big thing of cinnamon for 4 bucks (I make my coffee with cinnamon every morning. Hey, it adds up).
So, in my quest to avoid having Gary spend $300 by himself, we spent…
$325 instead!
Agreed, impossible to get out of there for less. But hey, we needed it all, right?
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
In less than 6 days. That is quite impressive don’t you think? So what do you think good ole Robert Jenkins did to deserve all that content out there on the world wild web?
Nobel peace prize? Nope.
Emerged from the rubble in Haiti after 11 days? uh uh.
Viral video? Amercian Idol contestant? Lost 150 lbs? No. No. And no.
Mr. (and I use that term loosely) Robert Jenkins became famous last week because he was arrested for…
get ready, this one is pretty amazing.
He was arrested for PEEING ON THE STEAKS IN WALMART.
Yes, you read that correctly. Good old Bobby-boy pulled out his Oscar Meyer Weiner (or as Elaine Benes would say He. Took. It. Out.) and gave $600 worth of meat in a Canton, Ohio Walmart a little golden shower. Why, you ask?
Gary thinks it was because he was pissed.
(A few little notes on this post. A big thank you to my dear blog/twitter friend Michelle Lamar who never disappoints me with content for absurd posting. She is the one who turned me onto tampon crafts. Also, a shout out to J. who was disappointed the the Bread Gloves was not absurd enough. And of course Dr. Jimmy who is not all that fond of mom blogging but loves a good MFTA anyday).
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under Uncategorized
This one had me laughing for quite awhile. I LOVE the unleavened option; nice sensitivity to the tribe.
Look at this guys face, he could almost be described as ecstatic. How many shots do you think they had to do before they got this one. Or wait, are those mits photoshopped in?
I can’t wait till they come out with the muffin slippers.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, humor, products
I am sorry, did that title make you feel uncomfortable? No worries, I had that surgery quite a few years ago and left my ovaries which would explain my raging insane menopausal behavior. My title is not as funny as my friend Jessica Gottlieb‘s but then again, she is a rock star and I am not. (and in all fairness, to my knowledge she still has a uterus).
But this post will NOT be about my girlie parts. This will be about the abnormal obsession that I, and hundreds of thousands of other Apple geeks have for all things Mac.
I have been a MacUser since before many of my readers were out of iDiapers, I am sure. I used to be in the minority but now I am just a semi-cool mom who gets all hot and bothered when that technostud in the black turtleneck, Steve Jobs, comes out on stage to unveil a new Apple product.
Today was no different. With 4 windows open on my extra large cinema display I watched a lousy ustream attempt at live streaming and followed the tech specs for the new tablet today as they were unveiled on engaget.com and twitter. After much speculation about the name it was announced to be the iPad. The photo at the top came across my twitterstream during the presentation. (thanks to Katmanalac). Photoshop users are not only funny, they are fast. You can see what the real one looks like here, and watch the dazzling video about all its features.
So here is the story in a nutshell. This is an iPhone on steriods. For those of us who like realtime email and blackberry messenger and hate AT&T we will not have to keep longing for the iPhone anymore. We can keep the blackberry and add this to the arsenol. Personally, I don’t care if I have one device that does it all and these 50-year-old eyes would way prefer to read off a 9.7″ screen than an iPhone any day. The typing looks easier and the ability to read books, listen to music, read newspapers and magazines, view pictures and videos, and surf the web all on one device that I don’t have to squint at is rather appealing. The Keyboard dock got a lot of wows from the audience as it was foreshadowing into what this baby will grow up to be. The fact that is missing a camera is a big negative.
If you are not excited by this, you will be by the third generation of this product. You can go bury your Kindle out back with your VCR because this baby blows that dinosaur away! The Apple cool factor is intoxicating as always.
I have a strict policy of never buying the first generation of anything tech item because there is always a level of disappointment by the next holiday season when they release the bigger, better, less buggy version of whatever it is. But at the $499 entry level it is hard to not want this toy. Do I think that there is anything revolutionary about this product? Not really as is, but I think that it will be very soon. Although the iBook store, Apples book version of iTunes, will surely blow Barnes and Noble/Amazon and the Kindle right out of the water. And the potential for developers is endless.
For those geeks hungry for tech specs, you have probably heard them already but here they are:
1/2″ thin, 1.5 lbs, 9.7 ips display, full multi-touch, 1Ghz apple A4 chip 16, 22 or 64GB flash storage, wifi 801.11n, 10 hr battery, iphone apps work out of the box, keyboard doc and a price point ranging from 16GB with no 3G at $499 to 64GB with 3G for $829 with the big news that although it is still on the dreaded AT&T network there is NO contract. $14.99/month for 250mg data and $29.99 for unlimited.
To my parents and inlaws, sorry for this post, I am sure I lost you on ihysterectomy!
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under humor, products, technology
I am convinced that my dog and I are genetically linked. I think I wrote about this once before but I can’t find the post and quite honestly it has been a long day.
Mel and I both suffer from hypothyroidism. Not all that uncommon in women ‘of a certain age‘, this basically means that we have underactive thyroids that do not produce a certain hormone and can cause us to feel sluggish. There are other more miserable things that it can cause but luckily neither one of us gone that far.
As a result of this disorder, I find myself in the odd circumstance to be taking the same medication as my pup. There on the windowsill in the kitchen sit two (almost identical) bottles of pills. One sleepy morning this week I took a pill from my bottle and buried it neatly in a chunk of the wet dog food that I mix in with Mel’s kibble. As I was inserting the pill I noticed it was yellow and not lavender, indicating this was my pill not hers.
Now don’t get me wrong here but at the price I pay for meds these days I was not about to throw away a perfectly good pill just because it had a slight slime of dog food on it. Like any self-respecting dog owner would, I wiped it off and put it back in the bottle.
So if any of you notice me scratching myself behind my ear with my foot or barking uncontrollably this week you will understand why.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
i could cry but i don't have time 