March 8, 2010 · 11:56 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Love of a Good Fish

I know I write about my dog a lot, but what you may not know is that along with dog sitting, we are also fish sitting. I know, seems a little ridiculous, but my in laws spend the season in Florida and they have this beta fish that they really love. So much so, that my father-in-law even considered taking it on the plane.

Correct me if I am wrong, Poppy, but I think the 4 oz liquid restriction was the only thing that stopped you. Imagine this scene, grandfather is taken to the back and questioned for trying to carry his pet fish over state lines.

We were the obvious candidates to watch the fish. My sister-in-law has cats so she was out. And my brother-in-law travels too much.

Now here is the thing. They are not just fond of this fish, they are really attached to it. When it first came here I was convinced I would kill it within a week (I have a bad fish history). And all I could think of was that my entire future with my husband’s family lay at risk over this one beta.

Fortunately, this fish is madly in love with me. No, I am not kidding. When I walk into the room it goes nuts. First time I thought I was imagining it. But after awhile it became apparent that I was having a very strong effect on this little swimmer. And I am not going to lie, I take some comfort in knowing that fish is into me.

Goes to show, there is nothing like the love of a good fish. (but please don’t tell the dog)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 7, 2010 · 5:39 pm

Bad Carma and the Three Dog Night

No, not a typo!

“When the mechanical-technological things in our life break down , it is not a personal attack on us. It is just the nature of the mechanical-material world.”

This hangs over my desk. I don’t know who said it but it sounds kind of Eckhart Tolle-ish to me. Nonetheless, it helps me cope.

Carma, you ask? Yeh, well first Gary’s car decided to overheat on the way home Friday night. He got towed. For those who remember the last AAA debacle you will be happy to hear he called them without hesitation this time.

And then the tow truck broke down in front of our house (poor guy got dragged into our bad carma – I know, too corny to say twice, sorry).

Gary had a hose replaced on Saturday. Well not Gary, the car, you will be happy to know his hose is fine. (you see, things could be much worse).

And then the car overheated again. (fixed, um, think not).

Then the oil pressure somethingorother light in Danny’s car went on.

Ok, that would be two cars down, going to the shop first thing Monday morning.

Now on to the dogs. When things suck you can always count on your dog to make them not suck. How? By simply being the dog. Fortunately, tonight we find ourselves triply lucky in the canine department. Not only do we have Mel to keep us from feeling sucky, we also have Ginger and Barkley, our two fave dog sitting companions. Look at those 3 old dogs and tell me your life would not be sheer bliss if you could hang with them.

Oh and one of the dogs came with another teenage boy so we have plenty of food in the house if you want to come over and visit our crazy home.

Hey, I wonder if I can find a dog sled for Gary to get to work tomorrow. Damn, too bad that snow melted. (Dr. Jimmy, that snow comment was for you, babe)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 3, 2010 · 10:06 pm

To the woman in the nail salon

Ok, I admit it. Towards the end of the day on a work day I skipped out for a manicure.  I had a tragically low broken nail that needed to be attended to. It was more necessary maintenance than pleasure. If you are a guy you think… “women!” If you are a woman you think, “damn, I hate when that happens.”

Here’s the thing. I don’t really have the kind of job that translates well into public places. These 50-year-old eyes are getting too old to view artwork on a blackberry and I am stuck zooming all over the place trying to make an intelligent comment when people send me stuff. (there that iphone envy goes rearing its ugly head again) Add that to the fact that I collaborate with a team and need to chat it up in the thick of a project. Oh and to top it all off we are always working on impossible deadlines.

So… I admit it. I was the women on the phone at the nail salon. Well, actually, not the only one as the woman across from me got a call and she was a realtor who was at the last stages of a deal where the parties were only $20,000 apart and she had to give the old, “I am in a meeting I will get back to you as soon as I am in the office” routine.

Back to my call. There was no option not to take it. Decisions had to made, time is money, yadayadayada. So woman number 3 sitting at the nail dryer, let me refer to her as THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH. She tells me when I end the call, “you know, you don’t always have to take the call. things can wait. sometimes it is beneficial to keep them waiting.”

THEM? Sweetheart, who are your THEM? In this market, no one waits in my book.

And seriously, you were giving me your opinion because? Oh right, because you ARE THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH!

You see, right here is why I have a blog. The beauty of this here little slice of the interwebs is that when I am on my last friggin’ nerve, I have a perfect place to vent.

And the best part about it is that THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH has no business being here.

Ahhh, now I feel better.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 2, 2010 · 11:21 pm

Orange you cranky?

Ok, shoot me. I just had a long day and as a matter of fact I am damn cranky.

And this had to be the funniest instant message solicitation I have gotten in a long time.

Maybe I should have accepted it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 1, 2010 · 9:07 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – 24.4

If you know me, you would know I am a not much of a sports fan living in the land of sports fanatics. My husband will watch, or play for that matter, any sport on earth. I call him game boy, affectionately of course. My kids are major college basketball and football fans. Some of my closest friends, men and women, are rabid athletes and spectators. One of my girlfriends even started this sports website for people just like myself; sports indifferent women who need to know enough to survive in at least a basic conversation of sports current events.

Of course I have been a major fan when my kids played sports. I have learned to have an affection for basketbal, field hocky and soccer through them. And when they suffered defeat I grieved right along with them. They fall and we bleed.

But there is one professional sport that I have always loved to watch. BC (before children) we had Rangers season tickets and I would scream in The Garden with the best of them chanting to a good Potvin sucks. There is something about the speed and finesse of that sport that I always got a charge out of.

Ahhhhh, you say, the post title: 24.4 – now you get it! If you were one of the 27.6 people who watched the final Olympic hockey game between Canada and the USA, that number makes a whole lot of sense. If you have just crawled out from under a rock, Zach Parise scored a tying goal with 24.4 seconds left in regulation time, throwing the game into a 4 on 4 overtime. This entire game was probably the most exciting hockey I have ever watched. What a pleasure to watch a clean hockey game. We screamed so loud during the game the dog left the room. I swear I had chest pains (relax Mom, that is just an expression).

AP Photo

Sadly, the glory of the 24.4 was short lived when Sidney Crosby shot a goal past Ryan Miller 7:40 into overtime. Talk about the agony of defeat. I could not help but think about Ryan Miller’s mom at that moment (sorry I am still a girl even if I do sound all sports macho in this post).

Kudos to the Canadian team on taking the gold in their national sport on home ice. They are a lovely country, a good neighbor and were wonderful hosts for the Games. If we had to lose to anyone I am glad it was them.

But again, to Ryan Miller’s mom, my heart goes out to you babe.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 28, 2010 · 9:31 pm

The Perfect Husband

I know, you all saw that title and thought, “How sweet, she is going to praise the virtues of her sweet Gary of Hey Nanny Nanny and Janie Knight fame.” Well, of course he is the perfect husband, but this post is not about him.

For those who have been following along, my daughter Jana is doing a semester abroad. That is college-speak for I will tolerate a few hours a week of class so I can be in a different city (sometimes two) every weekend. This weekend found her in Amsterdam, with a side trip to Brussels. When she is traveling I usually wake up to a BBM (blackberry messenger message – it’s like a text for you non-crackberry heads). This morning I found this photo with no message. It was hard to read on my bberry so I had to email it to myself to see what it was.

If there was any doubt that I was genetically linked to this girl you will now understand that I would have to be her mother. Ahhh, the Inflatable Perfect Husband. This must be the 20-year-old version of the Grow Your Own Parents that I bought her in middle school when we were getting on her last nerve. I particularly like the french word for inflatable… gonflable. How do you pronounce that? Anyone? I took Spanish so it is lost on me but I love the way it looks.

I shudder to think what the Inflatable Perfect Wife has behind her back.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 26, 2010 · 7:46 pm

OK…”uncle!” Now vodka please

And make it a double.

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.

Sometimes you meet in the middle for hours upon hours of tedious negotiations. Yep, door number three, that was my day.

So kiddies, you will forgive me for not writing last night. And for leaving this post that borders somewhere on the periphery of the mentally unfit. (a little place I call my playground almost every friday night these days).

Not unlike those little spongey capsules that turn into animals and circus characters when you add water that my kids used to love so much, I will add a little vodka to this twisted little mind and hope it springs back to something acceptable by the AM.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 24, 2010 · 10:36 pm

Sparkle where the sun don’t shine

Ok, it has been at least a week since I have posted something inappropriate about private parts, I would say it is time for another one, wouldn’t you?

Thanks to my dear friend Jessica Gottlieb, who never fails to disappoint me by pointing out the most outrageous postings on the interweb, I have been made aware of the latest in genital fashion.

Apparently the new craze is called Vajazzling. Yep, just what it sounds like folks. Bedazzling the Hey Nanny Nanny, if you will. Those crazy folks at Swarovski have found themselves a brand new market. Looks like this will be hot with all those rhinestone cowgirls out there. (slutty much? jeez) So let me get this straight, pubic hair is out, pubic jewels are in. Oh I get it. What the hell?!

It seems this all started when Jennifer Love Hewitt mentioned doing it on the George Lopez show.

For those who want an up close and personal look at this new art, crazy Bryce over at theluxuryspot.com went and had this done… with a photographer! You have to love this woman!

What next?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 23, 2010 · 6:19 pm

Is this me or what?

I simply must own this shirt. There are many versions of it out there on different sites but this one is my fave. (I saw this on twitter tonight from my friend Marci Diehl so I thought it only right to give her a little link love here). And if there really was a National Sarcasm Society and not just a ‘we’ll be right back’ website I think I would have to be a lifetime member.

If you read me regularly you would agree. If you live with me or talk to me on a regular basis, aside from wanting to run me over with your car on occasion, you would testify to it in a court of law.

I always wonder if sarcasm is an inherited gene or if it is a nature vs. nurture question with my kids, but these two have surely honed the fine art. A night at our dinner table is always a walk into the fire. If you are off your game you are surely screwed. I think our favorite family line is ‘Are you kidding me?!”

I constantly talk about doing a T-shirt line, I have scraps of paper and lists in my notebook of some really great lines. Maybe it is time for me to go ahead and do this. What do you think?

Hey, like I need your support? (oh sorry, I got carried away)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 22, 2010 · 8:48 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – My Spot

If you are lucky, you have a spot in your home where you can go to just BE. This is mine. Right there in the corner of that couch is where I can park my weary bones with a book or the paper and stretch out in the sun. I lay there and all the stresses and aggravations of the week disappear. Late at night when I cannot sleep, I find myself there. I suppose I simply take comfort in it’s familiarity. There is something about the peace in that spot that is like no other. This particular shot even features the beautiful Valentine’s flowers from my dad (thanks daddio-sir), and they are still alive a week later.

This room used to be a screened in porch with wicker furniture before we renovated. In both incarnations, the space holds such sweet memories for me. In that very same spot sat a wicker couch where I nursed my babies. In later years the floor was littered with legos and blocks, crayons and pipe cleaners; all the makings of a day at home with young children. There used to be a window between this room and the living room where the kids would put on puppet shows and ‘entertain’ us till we dozed off.

If ever a space held the power of a family, it would be this one. Within those walls I feel that power and I realize how lucky I am. Quite a few times we attempted to move from this house. (ok, maybe that is an understatement, let’s just say every 5 years we tortured our poor realtor and then never pulled the trigger) Yes, it got a bit tight, sure I wanted a new kitchen or a bigger family room. Yeh, it would have been great to have a master bath. But what I would have lost would have been the ability to sit in that space and soak in all the memories we have created here.

And honestly, looking back, I think I would have left a piece of me there that I could never get back.

Oh, and of course there is only one thing that makes that space one step more special to me. And that would be…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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