Category Archives: cars

November 13, 2011 · 1:56 pm

Kangaroo Men

On the road yesterday we saw this van that made me laugh. I kept trying to think about how funny it would be if the guys that worked for them were dressed up in kangaroo costumes. I tried to think about what these costumes would look like and did a quick image search on ‘kangaroo men’.

Wouldn’t you know I found the perfect shot. I can’t tell if these are the same guy photoshopped together or triplets in kangaroo costumes which is funny on so many levels.

You do lose a little something without the pouch but I guess that would just be for kangaroo women. Yeh, I know, it is amazing what I will do to waste time.

Anyway, shout out to Kangaroo Men Movers for entertaining me on an otherwise quiet drive. Love the tagline: We Hop to It.

And of course to Gary for slowing down so I could take the shot. Hey Jana, you did not think that the van was that funny. What do you say now?

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September 28, 2011 · 12:34 am

Soul Hamsters

In the parking lot of a musical event I came across this decal on the back of a car. Yes, that is me in the window. I like to think of this as my Soul Hamster Self Portrait.

Of course being around music fans I immediately thought this was the name of a band. Honest mistake, right? Yeh, sure if you are in a media blackout TV deprived coma, maybe. Kia? Hamster commercials? Ring a bell?

I have to say I absolutely love these commercials. The new one is amazing from a production standpoint, but personally I think the original is real advertising genius (forgive me for using those 2 words next to each other).

In case you have missed these commercials I am embedding a couple below, because, well because I want to test out Kia’s social media monitoring and see if anyone comments here. Or better yet, offers me a car to test drive.

(BTW, don’t you think I look really good in this shot?)

Here is the original commercial:

Here is the new one:

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August 7, 2011 · 11:51 pm

I Shlep

This could be my favorite license plate of the year. For those who are not of the tribe, or don’t live amongst the tribe, to shlep is to carry clumsily or with difficulty. But an alternate definition is ‘an arduous journey’.

Arduous indeed. If those window decals are for real I would say there was a hell of an arduous journey to get all those offspring through those institutions of higher learning. If you can’t read them in the photo they include: UPenn, Wharton, Cornell, Columbia University Law School, Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Harvard Law School… all on a 25-year-old station wagon!

It could also be very possible that this person just bought all these decals with no affiliation whatsoever to these schools.

But somehow I think not.

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December 8, 2010 · 8:09 pm

Huney Do

Seriously?!

I mean SERIOUSLY ‘dude’, you can’t possibly think driving around in a BMW with a HONEY DO license plate and a De-Fender bumper condom makes you cool, can you?

I wanted to wait till this guy got back in his car to see if he was wearing an ‘I am a Douche’ t-shirt. (sorry, that was probably uncalled for).

I just can’t help myself but rant when I see something like this. Guy goes to college, gets a good job, meets a nice girl, moves out to the suburbs, maybe has a kid or two and a house and a yard and the next thing he knows he trades in his I was once a fairly decent guy aura and becomes a suburbot (ooo, i sense another Urban Dictionary submission here).

For those unfamiliar with the term Huney Do – meaning those who either live under a rock, never saw a slice of life TV show or that stupid commercial (that I think is for Lowes) – Honey Do refers to the list of chores that a wife gives her husband.

Honestly, the word ‘chores’ reminds me of a 1950s sitcom.

Once, just once, I would like to hear one of these guys say…. Do it yourself, bitch. (ok, now I am totally out of control).

Not one to be into household gender roles all that much, this just makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit. There are a few things Gary likes to do around the house… leaf blowing and power washing. (see a pattern). They make him happy.(again, see a pattern). He will even throw in putting away lawn furniture, taking out the garbage and emptying the dishwasher. He is really easy to live with, I don’t have to make a list and when I am lucky he doesn’t call me bitch. (to my face, anyway) Although when I get a little out of control he has called me a crazy old hag – but I sort of deserved it.

Wait, I forgot I was writing about the license plate. So, now that I have finished this rant it occurs to me that this person probably lives in my town because he was parked fairly deep in the zip code and we are not a drive through sort of town. So? Any of you Pdubbsters out there know whose car it is?

Yikes.

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March 16, 2010 · 6:50 pm

Keep on Truckin’ Mama…

… truck my blues away!

Have you ever found yourself on the Cross Bronx Expressway when it is at a complete standstill?

That’s a joke. If you are from NY you know that the Cross Bronx Expressway is ALWAYS at a complete standstill and you avoid it at all costs. Except when you are a completely happy-to-be-out-of-the-basement idiot listening to your ipod at 10, while you are driving on a painfully glorious 60 degree almost-spring-you-can-taste-it sort of day like today. Then you mistakenly take the Throgs Neck Bridge instead of the Triboro to the Harlem River Drive when you are going to Jersey and you find yourself smack in the middle of the worst 10 mile stretch of road in the universe! Or at least the east coast because I think all of Southern California is probably the equivalent of the Cross Bronx only with better scenery.

So there I am.

Stuck between 4 tractor trailors.

And I have to pee.

Like, so bad that it seems a waste not to have to go for a sonogram with a bladder that full. (inside joke for those who know about having to take a pelvic sono). Only I could bring the word ‘pelvic’ into a post about traffic and trucking. Yeh, I know, part of my charm.

So, to amuse myself, and to take my mind off of the fact that my bladder was very likely going to burst any moment, I pulled out my camera and started to find things to take pictures of. What? You don’t do that?

Well, lucky for me that I had that camera because somewhere around exit 5 this red truck pulls up alongside me with my last name on it!! (ok, maiden name but I use it for blogging and work so it counts). Thanks Zimmerman Truck Lines for truckin’ my blues away. (ok, painfully corny, sorry)

I took it as a sign that I was meant to be there at that moment.

Huh? Whatever, just humor me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 7, 2010 · 5:39 pm

Bad Carma and the Three Dog Night

No, not a typo!

“When the mechanical-technological things in our life break down , it is not a personal attack on us. It is just the nature of the mechanical-material world.”

This hangs over my desk. I don’t know who said it but it sounds kind of Eckhart Tolle-ish to me. Nonetheless, it helps me cope.

Carma, you ask? Yeh, well first Gary’s car decided to overheat on the way home Friday night. He got towed. For those who remember the last AAA debacle you will be happy to hear he called them without hesitation this time.

And then the tow truck broke down in front of our house (poor guy got dragged into our bad carma – I know, too corny to say twice, sorry).

Gary  had a hose replaced on Saturday. Well not Gary, the car, you will be happy to know his hose is fine. (you see, things could be much worse).

And then the car overheated again. (fixed, um, think not).

Then the oil pressure somethingorother light in Danny’s car went on.

Ok, that would be two cars down, going to the shop first thing Monday morning.

Now on to the dogs. When things suck you can always count on your dog to make them not suck. How? By simply being the dog. Fortunately, tonight we find ourselves triply lucky in the canine department. Not only do we have Mel to keep us from feeling sucky, we also have Ginger and Barkley, our two fave dog sitting companions. Look at those 3 old dogs and tell me your life would not be sheer bliss if you could hang with them.

Oh and one of the dogs came with another teenage boy so we have plenty of food in the house if you want to come over and visit our crazy home.

Hey, I wonder if I can find a dog sled for Gary to get to work tomorrow. Damn, too bad that snow melted. (Dr. Jimmy, that snow comment was for you, babe)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 5, 2009 · 11:29 pm

Godspeed?

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It may come as a shock to you, but no I did not take this picture in NY. This baby comes to me from cousin Kelly. He said he took it somewhere in Virginia (that would make more sense).

This is quite a vehicle, don’t you think? Screaming religion down the highway is rather odd, quoting all sorts of scriptures and the like.

But tell me, what is an unusalist? Could that be a typo right there on the bumper? Did they mean unusualist? Actually, neither of them is in the dictionary. Can one of my christian friends define this please?

This vehicle gives godspeed a whole new meaning.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 4, 2009 · 8:57 pm

Satellite radio and the simulated voice in my car

Lux_Audio_prem_audio_sys

I recently got a new car with a fancy tech package. This crazy automaton woman is constantly announcing stuff all the time. Frankly, sometimes I could choke the bitch.

But lately she has been the subject of some entertainment.

When the audio system is on (I don’t know, we used to just call this the damn radio) she feels compelled to announce the name of each station as if the big bold letters on the dashboard screen are not enough. The car has XM Sirius or Sirius XM or whatever the name is these days. I was spinning around the dial showing Gary how she says all sorts of station names because some of them sound really funny in her mechanical voice. Like Soul Town, that one is hysterical, so I made her say it a few times in a row until he almost smacked me in the head for kicks. Then I tuned into Underground Garage, but on the screen it is abbreviated as Undergrnd Garage. She pronounced it without the ‘ou’ and I realized that she was doing a character recognition voice simulation kind of thing.

That is when we heard the funniest one of all: Jam_On. Or as she called it Jam Underscore On.

Wait, are we the only ones who find this sort of thing amusing?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 15, 2009 · 9:56 pm

Baby you can drive my car – disco version

danny in the car

One short year ago I wrote a post about my son getting his learner’s permit. Now, here I sit on the eve of his 17th birthday while he counts down the hours when he drives out of the driveway with NO ONE ELSE IN THE CAR.

No, really, I’m good. I am OK with this. He is a good driver and a responsible kid and I am perfectly fine with him operating 3,507 pounds of machinery down the block. (yes, I googled that).

Ok, so maybe when I dropped him off at school this morning and realized this was the last time I was EVER going to drive a kid to school I did sob just a little on my way home. So shoot me. I can lean toward the monumental moment overdrama lately. Let’s see how you all do when you are faced with that reality.

So, Danny boy, this post is for you. Congrats on holding out till you can legally drive (as if you had a choice). And happy happy 17th birthday. You will always be my little buddy. Love you forever.

Be careful and ‘be all that you can be.’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 27, 2009 · 6:56 pm

You Make Your Own Luck

shamrockBullshit!

I have always hated this expression. No not ‘bullshit’, I love that expression. I hate the expression, ‘You Make Your Own Luck’. I would imagine that phrase was first coined by someone who was lucky and then perpetuated by those who were also born under that proverbial of stars.

You make your own opportunities. That is a truth. And sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t but you keep plugging away at them. That is what makes you who you are and the ride worthwhile, even when it is a rocky one. One door closes and another one opens (thanks for that reminder, Rik).

But luck, my friends, that is simply something you have or you don’t.

Case in point: My car lease was up. At the beginning of the summer actually, but we kept extending it because we could not decide on the next car. It went back this morning.

Yesterday I parked it on the street because the boys were playing basketball in the driveway. And what happened? Not one but TWO tickets – expired registration AND inspection. (oops!) $260 and I don’t even get any shoes out of the deal!!

Now, I will blame Gary take full responsibility for not checking on this but seriously, it was going back and we kept extending the lease and never checked. Yeh, I know it is right in front of my face every time I drive but so are the things I hit with my car occasionally so that would be a bad argument.

My point would be this: those who are lucky, coast (and make up infuriating sayings). Those who are not get two tickets the day before they bring the car back.

But hey, I am blessed. And I suppose that is more important than luck when you come down to it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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