Tag Archives: television

January 29, 2015 · 2:20 am

Insomnia Questions

insomniaquestionsI can’t stay asleep. I have a sinus infection with laryngitis.

ME. With laryngitis.

Do the math on that one!

You know the drill on sleeping with this stuff. You pass out and then you snore or hack yourself awake, leaving sleep a thing of the past. I usually read when I wake up, but the combination of my cement head and the fact that my snoring has sent Gary running for the hills (or Jana’s room) for a good night sleep, have led me to late night TV. It beats ruminating in the middle of the night – my other favorite insomniac pastime (don’t believe anything you think about in the middle of the night).

For your reading pleasure, here is a list of what is on in the middle of the night:

Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars (Get naked, get truly naked)

Little Women: LA (yes this is about midgets and yes I know that term is horrifyingly not PC… blame the illness)

Mob Wives: The Antisocial Network (and I quote: “She has cancer… she’s stage fucking 4! I don’t want nothing from this rat bitch) Note to self: start using the term ‘rat bitch’.

Hardcore Pawn (one of my all-time faves)

There are countless otherworld shows: American Supernatural, The Haunting in Connecticut and Trance, which is a lively show where they hypnotize people and interview them. Who wouldn’t love that?

But the one that was truly like watching the accident was… drumroll please:

My 600 Lb. Life. WTF?! This is a reality show about the morbidly obese. I could not change the channel. That is not until I witnessed a visiting nurse lifting an enormous fat flap of a bed ridden mom on oxygen in a hospital bed in her living room who had just sent her enabling spouse out grocery shopping. She was treating a cellulitis wound caused by fat folds! And they zoomed in. This is just not right for me to witness. The mom’s goal was to get out of bed in time to trick or treat with her son. I can’t even!

I think I need to start the hashtag #insomniaquestions. At the very least I should start a column called MFTATV. (Magnet for the Aburd Television)

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to watch back to back reruns of Will and Grace and Sex in the City.

mfta approved

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September 28, 2011 · 12:34 am

Soul Hamsters

In the parking lot of a musical event I came across this decal on the back of a car. Yes, that is me in the window. I like to think of this as my Soul Hamster Self Portrait.

Of course being around music fans I immediately thought this was the name of a band. Honest mistake, right? Yeh, sure if you are in a media blackout TV deprived coma, maybe. Kia? Hamster commercials? Ring a bell?

I have to say I absolutely love these commercials. The new one is amazing from a production standpoint, but personally I think the original is real advertising genius (forgive me for using those 2 words next to each other).

In case you have missed these commercials I am embedding a couple below, because, well because I want to test out Kia’s social media monitoring and see if anyone comments here. Or better yet, offers me a car to test drive.

(BTW, don’t you think I look really good in this shot?)

Here is the original commercial:

Here is the new one:

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December 3, 2008 · 11:16 pm

Cosmetic Surgery from Hell

eye-1

Late last night we were laying in bed watching a little TV. Gary, like most men, is the king of the clicker so I am usually at the mercy of where he lands. We spent some time watching a 1997 Who concert. It was fun, even if Roger Daultry was most definitely wearing a short shirt that I had in 7th grade. During the fundraising promos we got bored and started to channel surf.

There for the taking on WeTV was Cosmetic Surgery from Hell. Yes, that wonderful station that also brings us Bridezillas (a must watch) and High School Confidential (because going through High School once is never enough).  Sorry folks, I could not resist watching. 

I am not sure what was more disturbing, the horrifying post-surgical photos or the show’s host. Anyone remember Jocelyn Wildenstein? Quite a resemblance. I have not seen lips like these since she graced the cover of New York Magazine. The voice of this host was surely not gender correct to the body. But I have to admit that the sound bites did not disappoint. These were my two faves:

“If it’s sagging, bagging or wagging, cut the thing off.”

“At first you’re going to look like a piece of raw liver.”

What more can one say about plastic surgery. Those two lines surely cover it all.

As if this show was not enough one that followed? Sex Change Hospital.

Nothing like a little late night TV, but tonight I think I will read.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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