Tag Archives: nail salon

To the woman in the nail salon

Ok, I admit it. Towards the end of the day on a work day I skipped out for a manicure.  I had a tragically low broken nail that needed to be attended to. It was more necessary maintenance than pleasure. If you are a guy you think… “women!” If you are a woman you think, “damn, I hate when that happens.”

Here’s the thing. I don’t really have the kind of job that translates well into public places. These 50-year-old eyes are getting too old to view artwork on a blackberry and I am stuck zooming all over the place trying to make an intelligent comment when people send me stuff. (there that iphone envy goes rearing its ugly head again) Add that to the fact that I collaborate with a team and need to chat it up in the thick of a project. Oh and to top it all off we are always working on impossible deadlines.

So… I admit it. I was the women on the phone at the nail salon. Well, actually, not the only one as the woman across from me got a call and she was a realtor who was at the last stages of a deal where the parties were only $20,000 apart and she had to give the old, “I am in a meeting I will get back to you as soon as I am in the office” routine.

Back to my call. There was no option not to take it. Decisions had to made, time is money, yadayadayada. So woman number 3 sitting at the nail dryer, let me refer to her as THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH. She tells me when I end the call, “you know, you don’t always have to take the call. things can wait. sometimes it is beneficial to keep them waiting.”

THEM? Sweetheart, who are your THEM? In this market, no one waits in my book.

And seriously, you were giving me your opinion because? Oh right, because you ARE THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH!

You see, right here is why I have a blog. The beauty of this here little slice of the interwebs is that when I am on my last friggin’ nerve, I have a perfect place to vent.

And the best part about it is that THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THIS EARTH has no business being here.

Ahhh, now I feel better.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, conversations, work, work habits

The Grim Reaper at the Nail Salon…

…in the body of a grandma.

Sometimes when i am out in public (and not in the basement) i am amazed at how crazy people are. 

there i was, getting a manicure (as I still do not believe that chipped nails are either fashionable or acceptable) and next to me sits a very cute little girl getting a manicure and pedicure for camp (another rustic camp experience is born). Her mom and grandma are waiting for her and they are reading magazines. I swear to you I am not making up this dialogue. You can ask my friend Cindy, she was there.

Grandma: Uh, what a horrible story.

Daughter: What?

Grandma: Oy, don’t read this, it is too depressing. Two people murdered in a place you would least expect.

Kid: Where grandma?

Grandma: No sweetie, don’t read this. Don’t worry about such things. Too horrible to talk about. Killed in broad daylight with no chance to survive. In Oklahoma of all places. You are safe nowhere.

Daughter: That is awful.

Grandma: No, please let’s not talk of such things. Did you see Tim Russert’s son on TV. So sad, to die so suddenly like that. Let’s not talk of such sadness. Did I tell about when I had my son, the baby nurse was still there and my friend’s husband dropped dead at his mother’s bedside. Just like that!

Kid: Who died grandma?

Grandma: Don’t worry yourself about such things, sweetie. You don’t know them, it was 49 years ago. Oy, he just up and dropped dead at his mother’s bedside, like Tim Russert. So sad. You should not think about such things. 

For G-d’s sake, this friggin old yenta was lining up the corpses right there at the nail dryers and there was not a thing we could do about it! Seriously, can you imagine a holiday at this woman’s house?

Thanksgiving: “Did you read about the mother of 5 that choked on a turkey bone?”

Christmas: “Did you hear about the family that died in a fire from faulty christmas lights?”

Fourth of July: “Did you hear about the kid that blew his arm off with illegal fireworks?”

Of course, all followed by her signature:

“Let’s not talk about this, too much sadness.”

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