Category Archives: New York City

March 16, 2010 · 6:50 pm

Keep on Truckin’ Mama…

… truck my blues away!

Have you ever found yourself on the Cross Bronx Expressway when it is at a complete standstill?

That’s a joke. If you are from NY you know that the Cross Bronx Expressway is ALWAYS at a complete standstill and you avoid it at all costs. Except when you are a completely happy-to-be-out-of-the-basement idiot listening to your ipod at 10, while you are driving on a painfully glorious 60 degree almost-spring-you-can-taste-it sort of day like today. Then you mistakenly take the Throgs Neck Bridge instead of the Triboro to the Harlem River Drive when you are going to Jersey and you find yourself smack in the middle of the worst 10 mile stretch of road in the universe! Or at least the east coast because I think all of Southern California is probably the equivalent of the Cross Bronx only with better scenery.

So there I am.

Stuck between 4 tractor trailors.

And I have to pee.

Like, so bad that it seems a waste not to have to go for a sonogram with a bladder that full. (inside joke for those who know about having to take a pelvic sono). Only I could bring the word ‘pelvic’ into a post about traffic and trucking. Yeh, I know, part of my charm.

So, to amuse myself, and to take my mind off of the fact that my bladder was very likely going to burst any moment, I pulled out my camera and started to find things to take pictures of. What? You don’t do that?

Well, lucky for me that I had that camera because somewhere around exit 5 this red truck pulls up alongside me with my last name on it!! (ok, maiden name but I use it for blogging and work so it counts). Thanks Zimmerman Truck Lines for truckin’ my blues away. (ok, painfully corny, sorry)

I took it as a sign that I was meant to be there at that moment.

Huh? Whatever, just humor me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, cars, companies, humor, New York, New York City, road trip, travel

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March 10, 2010 · 10:29 pm

An Equidistant Moment

It’s moments like this I am absolutely certain I was born to carry a camera. And I always wonder if other people notice this kind of stuff.

Right after we saw the white dogs with orange socks, we came upon this odd little scene on the World Financial Plaza. This was one of the first warm days in NY and everyone was trying to catch some time outdoors. The odd thing was that these five seemingly unrelated people decided to do so in almost the exact same way. They were spaced perfectly (hence equidistant), legs crossed on the same side, each one reading, as if they had been set up by an art director. Of course this was not, in fact,’a shot’.

It was real life.

I mean, seriously, what kind of art director would have kept that guy in the powder blue sweater on the left side there. He is the wild card in this shot. I mean, for G-d sake, he is not even crossing his legs.

Damn rebel!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, communities, humor, New York, New York City

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March 9, 2010 · 9:09 pm

White Dogs with Orange Socks

I don’t know, I just couldn’t come up with anything clever as a title for this. Sometimes the obvious is so outrageous it just fits.

Seems like the theme this week is pets. So if you are not an animal lover check back on maybe Saturday.

I saw these little lambikin like doggies on the Esplanade in Battery Park City yesterday. If you have never been there, you should visit, it is a very cool place and it almost seems like it is a different city than NY. Full disclosure, Battery Park City Authority is a long-standing client but I genuinely love this place and have watched it grow over the past 25 years from a whole bunch of open lots into a thriving urban jewel.

Back to the white dogs in orange socks (this sounds rather Suessian, no?). I was with a friend/client and we stopped to talk to the owner of these little… scamps. I am pretty sure she suffered from a little OCD of sorts because when I asked to take their picture she was all upset about their ‘faces being dirty’. Apparently these tiny orange socks are not meant to protect their delicate itsy bitsy feeties, they are to keep them from getting soiled.

Oh my!

Do you think she was offended when I bent down to pet them and told her my dog takes bigger dumps than this? Yeh, probably was classic anti-social behavior, but it did get a laugh out of my friend.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, communities, humor, New York City, pets, photography, places of interest

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January 10, 2010 · 10:09 pm

Underground in their underwear or skivvies in the subway

The other night on Letterman I heard the funniest line:

If underwear was outlawed only outlaws would wear underwear.

Not sure why that struck me as so funny but it just did. Now here is another foundation garment related story that caught my attention. An event created by one of my favorite groups, Improv Everywhere – the 9th Annual No Pants Subway Ride. This event takes place in 44 locations in 16 countries! Their website claims an estimated 3,000 people participated in NYC. According to the New York Post article covering the event (which estimate the numbers closer to 700 – what is this Woodstock?), Improv Everywhere’s mission is to cause “scenes of chaos and joy in public places”. Bottomless subway riders surely fits that bill. My kind of group!

In my humble opinion, during these stressful times (aren’t you sick of that term already?) there just isn’t enough silliness in the world.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, current events, humor, New York, New York City

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December 11, 2009 · 11:22 pm

A New York State of Hannukah

This week I had a little tantrum about the insensitivity of the Rite Aid chain in not selling Hannukah wrapping paper in a town with 4 synagogues. (by the way, to date not a soul from Rite Aid has contacted me so either they have no social media prescense, foolish, or they hate me.) I have also voiced my opinion about the ridiculous holiday focused CBS Cares PSAs for pap smears and prostate cancer screenings.

This same week, my dear sweet friend sent a similar email rant about a food store in town that did not sell Hannukah candles. To add insult to injury the guy in the store sent her down an aisle where she found, not Hannukah candles, but Yarzheit ones. (um, bud, we use them when people have died, Hannukah, not so much). Then my friend Jessica Gottlieb went on a rant about Disney and it’s of sensitivity to Jewish Holidays.

These sort of things come up every year. The stores and municipalities bombard us with Christmas decorations, music, lights and those annoying as hell Santas ringing the bells on every corner. The other night the one in front of Lord and Taylor in Garden City was talking on the cell phone when I went in the store, and still yapping when I came out. Ho. Ho. Ho. But Hannukah, even in areas with a large concentration of members of the tribe, is often overlooked.

Tonight, I would like not to bitch, but to thank the city of NY for lighting the beloved Empire State Building in blue and white. Hey, after the tie-dye Grateful Dead lights it seems only fair. And another shout out to Senator Orin Hatch, a mormon, who has gotten some decent press about his writing of Hannukah songs. Way to be interfaith, Mr. Hatch.

So for this first night of Hannukah, I wish you all a happy festival of lights. And the hope that next year Rite Aid and the food market will wise up and stock some holiday supplies for us all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 25, 2009 · 8:41 pm

The Burp Castle

burp_castle

File this one under, Only in NY!

I passed this today on a little family excursion through the East Village. Burp Castle, Temple of Beer Worship is located on East 7th Street between 2nd and Copper Square in case you want to visit. Not far from McSorley’s Old Ale House, this would make a nice beer tour if you are from out of town.

Not too sure about the Brewist Monks since 1022 a.d. but hey, it looks like a fun place.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, New York, New York City, photography, places of interest, signage

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October 21, 2009 · 6:40 pm

Toilet Paper Advertising Smackdown

I must have died and gone to promotion heaven. For the second day this week a toilet paper brand is in the headlines. Yesterday I wrote about Cottonelle’s suggestion that maybe we were not wiping all that well. Today, thanks to my friend, Jessica Gottlieb, I found this Advertising Age article about Charmin’s latest PR program: enjoy the go.

charmin-enjoy-the-go

This one is sheer brilliance. Sorry Cottonelle, I remain brand loyal to Charmin and their program kicks ass… wipes.

A Help Wanted ad is a casting call for 5 bloggers to become Charmin Ambassadors. The job description and qualifications call for someone to greet and entertain bathroom guests at the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square and then blog about it. The job runs from November 23rd  through December 31st with a salary of $10,000. This should get around the new FTC blogger guidelines quite nicely.

This is my favorite line:

All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.

Honestly, if you know me you also know there is NOBODY who enjoys going to the bathroom more than I do.

I know what you are all thinking, who better than the Magnet For the Absurd (MFTA) for this job. Yeh, well, maybe 20 years ago. But I think for now I will just be content to go down to the Hilton on November 5th with my camera and Flip. Every freak in NYC will be there for sure. I should be right at home.

Good ole Mr. Whipple must be spinning in his grave!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, magnet for the absurd, marketing, New York City, news

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October 1, 2009 · 6:05 pm

Another Reason to Love NYC

Pak-Bangla-Indian-Italian-seafood

Thanks to my friend Sue, of the ‘why don’t you just start a blog already’ fame, I bring you this photo of one of NYC’s more versatile eateries.

Pak-Bangla-Indian/Italian/Seafood – slash a little bit for everyone. I love the use of hyphens and slashes on this signage. And I particularly love the Psychic sign above it from the establishment next door. It is easy to read your mind about what you are in the mood to eat when we serve just about EVERYTHING.

I wonder if the other side says Chinese-Japanese-Korean/Kosher/Vegetarian.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 23, 2009 · 5:37 pm

Long Guyland, New Yawk

Picture - Map of Long Island - Nov 1, 2008_0

For those who do not live in these parts, that is the way people tawk heah.

Well, not all of us, but I suppose many. If you are a New Yorker you can tell the subtle difference between the Brooklyn dialect and that of  say, Joisey. If not, we all sound the same to you. It is even more apparent when you were raised here and then move away. My brother gets a big kick out of hearing the old NY-speak.

I bring this up today because I have encountered a particularly classic brand of the Long Guyland accent this week. As I posted earlier, I am a Jury Duty phone alternate this week. Every night, after 5, I have to call in to see if I am required to show up the next day. Yes, this is very convenient… NOT!

Anyway, when I called in the second night and every night since, the man on the recording had the most classic form of the Long Island accent. The first time I actually laughed out loud and then proceeded to leave his accent as my Facebook status. It had such a warm reception there I thought I would bring it over to the blog and share it with all of you. Here is what he said:

“This is the Nassaw County Jurah notification system. You must locate yaw jurah numbah located on paht A of yaw jurah caud. Yaw numbah stahts with the lettah aw.”

Let me translate that for you:

“This is the Nassau County Juror notification system. You must locate your juror number located on part A of your juror card. Your number starts with the letter R.”

Hey, there’s no place like home.

This reminds me of an ad campaign I did in a High School art class…

Long Island, more than just an accent!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 2, 2009 · 9:00 pm

kovics, renkas and povas, oh my!

tennis-ball

Where are all the American women in tennis?! (sans Williams squared, of course).

What, you say? Could Amy actually be writing about tennis? From the basement, no less?

Listen folks, I may not play tennis but I am surely surrounded by it. My husband and dearest friends play. A good chunk of my disposable income goes to all things tennis-related in order to keep Gary from jumping off the 59th Street Bridge, and it’s the first week in September in NY, so not paying attention to the US Open is like living under a rock.

We were discussing the women of the Open over dessert tonight (ok, so it was not just Gary and I, my in-laws and a neighbor were here) and it came to my attention that American women do not play tennis.

What?!! In my zip code I am looked at like I have 3 heads because I don’t swing a racquet. I guess they meant professionally.

I took a little spin over to the US Open official website and what I found was, nestled around the Williams sisters in the top 5 seeded positions were: Safina, Barrois, Czink, Rybarikova, Dementieva, Oudin, Jankovic and Shvedova.

That is way too many consonants for this Jew to pronounce. And the rest of the list was equally non-American.

So tell me, tennis women of America (or at least Jo), if there are so many women playing recreational tennis here, why do we not have women playing professionally.

Just asking.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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