Tag Archives: tennis

Hanky Panky on the Tennis Court

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It has been a while since I have been here, but this story just begged to be a blog post, so here I am. Yeh, I missed you guys too.

This is a spin on the age old advice that every mom gives their daughter and every daughter rolls their eyes at:

Make sure you wear nice underwear, you never know when you are going to get into an accident.

Seriously? What kind of advice is this? And if you are in a car accident, is your underwear really your biggest problem?

I guess this stuck with me, and quite honestly I doubt my mom ever said this herself. I always make sure I am wearing nice underwear and I happen to love Hanky Panky thongs.  Especially the black ones.

There. it is out. Now everyone knows. Not just the guys my husband plays tennis with…

Scenario: 

Husband is playing in his regular Saturday game. He is in a little bit of a crouch [not crotch] and feels something odd in his shorts. He reaches in and pulls out… you guessed it. A lovely pair of black original-rise Hanky Pankys stuck inside his shorts from the static gods. He holds them up. Everyone gives him that look like, shit I hope those belong to your wife. Or maybe it was more like, what happens on the tennis court stays on the tennis court.

The worst part is that he couldn’t ‘seem to remember’ who was on the court at the time.

I am sure I will find out soon enough.

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Filed under humor, moms

kovics, renkas and povas, oh my!

tennis-ball

Where are all the American women in tennis?! (sans Williams squared, of course).

What, you say? Could Amy actually be writing about tennis? From the basement, no less?

Listen folks, I may not play tennis but I am surely surrounded by it. My husband and dearest friends play. A good chunk of my disposable income goes to all things tennis-related in order to keep Gary from jumping off the 59th Street Bridge, and it’s the first week in September in NY, so not paying attention to the US Open is like living under a rock.

We were discussing the women of the Open over dessert tonight (ok, so it was not just Gary and I, my in-laws and a neighbor were here) and it came to my attention that American women do not play tennis.

What?!! In my zip code I am looked at like I have 3 heads because I don’t swing a racquet. I guess they meant professionally.

I took a little spin over to the US Open official website and what I found was, nestled around the Williams sisters in the top 5 seeded positions were: Safina, Barrois, Czink, Rybarikova, Dementieva, Oudin, Jankovic and Shvedova.

That is way too many consonants for this Jew to pronounce. And the rest of the list was equally non-American.

So tell me, tennis women of America (or at least Jo), if there are so many women playing recreational tennis here, why do we not have women playing professionally.

Just asking.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under conversations, current events, New York, New York City, places of interest, sports, women

Ask a silly question…

flaming-ball

Walking into my front hallway yesterday I noticed a case of tennis balls. We usually keep these in the garage.

Me: Gar, why is this in the front hallway?

Gary: You can’t play tennis with cold balls.

Why do I feel like I set myself up for that one?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor

Best Friends are from Mars, Cheerleaders are from Venus

(I can’t wait to see how many search terms I get with cheerleaders in them)

Today Gary played in the tennis club mixed doubles tournament with Joanne. (yes, she is still talking to us even after she watched our dog five weekends in a row, one of which the dog bit her husband Marc’s toe trying to get a tennis ball).

Being the good spouse – no jokes please – I went to watch. Ok, so maybe as much in support for Jo as for Gary. I had the pleasure of sitting next to Marc (Gary’s friend since birth) AND my father-in-law (an avid blog devotee I might add – hey Boss!). Talk about show no mercy, these guys were ruthless. And hysterical. The running commentary was fantastic. The two closest men in his life had is number, big time. He could not get away with a single gesture. They read his body language like a book.

And there is Joanne out on the court. The greatest cheerleader of them all. The ultimate optimist. What a tennis partner. It was touching how nice she was to him, way nicer than I am for sure (that would be the ‘other husband rule’).

Sadly, they did not win, but put up an honorable fight.

Conversation after the match:

Gary: Jo, you are such a great cheerleader out there.

Joanne: I like to keep things positive. I kept complimenting him when he had a great shot. I told him to keep focused – we could still turn things around. When we hit a slump, I cheered him on.

Marc: Ridiculous! When he gets like that I just tell him to stop being such a fucking mope!

Gary: Honestly, I react better to Marc’s tactics.

And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women in a nutshell.

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Filed under friendship, sports, Uncategorized