Tag Archives: men and women

Big Man, Little Dog and the Bloomies Shoe Dept.

Ok, I will admit this upfront. I was going to title this post ‘No evidence of a penis on this man’ but I was truly fearful of what sort of traffic I would get from that. And the whole gender stereotype thing does rub me the wrong way – although by the way he is dressed it is obvious this dog was not his idea. And I am thinking the shoe shopping wasn’t either. He looks more like a Home Depot sort of guy to me.

Maybe I should have titled this, ‘Shopping is not a canine activity’, because that is what really irks me. I could go on about the upswing in people bringing there little pampered pooches out to shopping and dinner excursions, dressing them up in little clothes and putting them in strollers, for G-d’s sake. I hear this is an epidemic in South Florida. The last time I was there I saw a yorkie in an Ed Hardy hoodie… that is just not ok. (but a lovely outfit to shop for shoes in Bloomies, I suppose) What is up with this behavior?

This is the second time this year that I have seen a man in the women’s shoe dept of Bloomingdales with one of these little dogs.

Just guessing when this guy first started dating this woman this was not his idea of a night out.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera

Note from Your Wife

Once again, a big thank you to Susan who has become a better magnet for crazy signage than I.

This one comes to you from our local paint and hardware store. I would assume that after countless husbands came back into their store with tails between their legs, they decided to have a little fun with it and give a gentle nudge towards encouraging spousal approval.

I thought of this yesterday as I was in the supermarket picking up dinner. There in the middle of the store, was a husband staring at a shopping list with a dazed and confused look on his face. Then I saw him dial his cell phone. He was someone I knew so I asked, “Not empowered to make that decision?” and he just cracked up.

What is it about married couples? Are we wives simply ridiculous control freaks or are our husbands truly incapable of these small domestic decisions because we have been handling them for so long?

Or both?

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, signage

Man and Machine

This is a quiz. Which makes a man happier, a power washer or a leaf blower?

I suppose that is a trick question. (Don’t know why but I love this piece of clip art – maybe it is his stance with the hose between his legs, just makes me laugh)

Show of hands ladies, do any of you care to use one of the items… EVER?

Yeh, thought not. In fact the other day on twitter I heard a woman say, “leaf blowers are the soundtrack of hell”. Made me laugh. I personally think nightclub techno-pop music is the soundtrack of my nightmares so I appreciated her aversion to white noise.

Something about a guy and a hose of any kind (air or water) that just makes sense from a Mars and Venus point of view.

He was muddy when he was done, but damn was Gary happy this afternoon. Raquet in the AM, power washing in the afternoon. Doesn’t get much better than this.

Life is good.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under gary, homeowner, humor

No wife?

plaid-on-plaid

What’s the shot that this guy has a woman living in his house?

Wife: Hon, why don’t you put on your plaid shirt and completely different plaid shorts today, they look so good together.

Husband: Oh, great, and then I can put on a pair of white gym socks with my sandals and round out the outfit.

I took this shot on the same boardwalk as the kid on a leash, dog in a stroller and recession rosaries. AND the 3 hens 3 girls and Hot… Dogs on leaving the zip code. I almost had photographic whiplash by the end of that day! Forgive the posterization, I had to screw around with the levels to get the plaids to read as I was shooting into the sun. Don’t you just hate it when absurdities don’t position themselves in the correct direction?

I am surely no fashionista. Let’s face it, I wear predominantly black clothes. I consider khaki a color. But I am always amazed when I see this kind of blatant fashion violation.

No, this is not even a fashion issue, this is a complete lack of recognition of complimentary design elements and the principles of clashing. This guy is different from the inappropriate T-shirt guys. Those guys made a conscious choice to be what they considered funny or clever, even if they weren’t. This guy? Did he get dressed in the dark? Did no one ever tell him that plaid needs a nice solid to balance it out. Has he never noticed that others don’t dress like this?

Then of course, I got a little sad. What if he lost his wife and she always told him how to dress?

Or maybe, just maybe, the conversation above really did take place.

It takes all kinds.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, fashion, humor, photography

Do You Speak Woman?

A guy friend sent this to me and I am not gonna lie, I thought it was hysterical. Enjoy.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor, women

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (vol. 2)

 

I have written about this topic before. You can read it here.

I have always been fascinated by the different way men and women perceive things. This morning I woke up agitated from a disturbing dream. Oddly enough, so did Gary. I assume these trying times are getting to both of us.

He has often placed a request for me not to share my dreams (they scare him). Today I did not give him a chance to reject the story, he was still half asleep and emerging from his own bad dream.

Mine? He was forcing me to move to Florida and we were driving down with all our stuff. Then we were in this awful cookie cutter house with all these boxes and strange people we did not know. He was telling me that he was going to change his career, sell windows and I was a bitch for not supporting him. I was sobbing uncontrollably saying that I hate Florida (sorry Floridians, I like to visit). 

His? Oh his dream was that 25% of the earth split off and was careening into space. Alrighty then, a science fiction dream.

I laughed and said this would make a perfect blog post.

Gary: You can’t do that, people will think you are crazy.

Me: Wait, you had a dream about a quarter of the earth splitting off and careening through space and you think people will consider me crazy for dreaming about a forced move to Florida?

And there you have it.

Later he said that he was on one piece of the earth and I was on the other. All I could think of was that the only way his subconscious could figure out how to get rid of me was by destroying the planet. 

Kinda scary if you ask me. Note to self: sleep with one eye open.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, men, men and women, relationships, women

Best Friends are from Mars, Cheerleaders are from Venus

(I can’t wait to see how many search terms I get with cheerleaders in them)

Today Gary played in the tennis club mixed doubles tournament with Joanne. (yes, she is still talking to us even after she watched our dog five weekends in a row, one of which the dog bit her husband Marc’s toe trying to get a tennis ball).

Being the good spouse – no jokes please – I went to watch. Ok, so maybe as much in support for Jo as for Gary. I had the pleasure of sitting next to Marc (Gary’s friend since birth) AND my father-in-law (an avid blog devotee I might add – hey Boss!). Talk about show no mercy, these guys were ruthless. And hysterical. The running commentary was fantastic. The two closest men in his life had is number, big time. He could not get away with a single gesture. They read his body language like a book.

And there is Joanne out on the court. The greatest cheerleader of them all. The ultimate optimist. What a tennis partner. It was touching how nice she was to him, way nicer than I am for sure (that would be the ‘other husband rule’).

Sadly, they did not win, but put up an honorable fight.

Conversation after the match:

Gary: Jo, you are such a great cheerleader out there.

Joanne: I like to keep things positive. I kept complimenting him when he had a great shot. I told him to keep focused – we could still turn things around. When we hit a slump, I cheered him on.

Marc: Ridiculous! When he gets like that I just tell him to stop being such a fucking mope!

Gary: Honestly, I react better to Marc’s tactics.

And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women in a nutshell.

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Filed under friendship, sports, Uncategorized