Tag Archives: marriage

Time to Cry Tuesday – Marriage Equality. Period.

392718_10200358975272346_1487629080_nTuesday, March 26, 2013. The Supreme Court of the United States takes on the right to marry.

Incredible. If someone predicted this 10 years ago it would be followed with a roll of the eyes and an utterance of, “If ONLY!”.

Well… ONLY.

All sorts of polls are floating around out there, The NYT posted a great roundup here. In short, those in favor of same-sex marriage have risen from 30-40% range in 2003 to the 49-53% range depending upon who is doing the polling. A Pew Research Center report described the increase in support for same-sex marriage over the last 10 years as among the largest shifts in American public opinion on any policy issue.


If you were on facebook today you might have noticed people changing their profile pics to this red equal sign box in solidarity and support. During the course of the day more creative, personalized versions started to pop up. I thought this would be a great place to do a round up.

Grumpy cat fans


Equal time for dogs (btw, Iko is a big supporter)

Screen Shot 2013-03-28 at 12.57.39 AM

And Unicorns!

Screen Shot 2013-03-28 at 12.59.28 AM

True Blood Fans


Members of the Tribe Celebrating Passover (subtitle: I found the “Afikomen”)


Red Velvet Chumetz for the goyim… from Martha, of course.


A crafty little play on symbols


Lion King (one day we will look back and say this is where we drew the lion) Hey, don’t blame the corny on me, it was not my lion.


C’mon, we all thought it…


Dumbledore for you Harry Potter fans.


Equality for statues!


Rothko for equality.


My friend Rina (hi Rin!, love it!)


And most dear to my heart… my ‘gay husband’ who waited WAY too long to be a husband to his true love.


FYI, I am updating this post as new ones show up, feel free to send me any a2zdes(at)gmail dot com.


Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sometimes You Get it Right

This past weekend I had the pleasure of joining my dear friends at their wedding. This being a second marriage for both of them, it was a very different celebration.

The room was filled with friends and family, as most weddings are. But the difference in this room was that many of us have shared our lives for the past 20 some odd years. We have raised children, grieved parents, nursed each other when sick, celebrated joys and held each other up in sorrow. The love in that room was almost overwhelming.

We are a community. In the true sense of the word. There was a moment on the dance floor when all our close friends were dancing in a circle around this couple. I looked around at the faces of my friends and thought, this is one of those moments. The ones we remember for a lifetime. A very moving moment indeed.

These two people in the center of this celebration were joined together as a mature couple (ok, grown-ups might be a better word, we are all a little adolescent in our behavior). As the groom stated so eloquently in his vows, he felt so very lucky to be marrying his best friend. With that foundation they are sure to live a happy life together.

Sometimes you get it right. They surely have.

And hey, when else have we ever done the Horah to Satisfaction? Great party for a great couple.

With all the love in my heart – and flashbacks of a scarier time in your lives that have bound us eternally – I wish my dear friends much health and happiness. Love you guys.


Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Note from Your Wife

Once again, a big thank you to Susan who has become a better magnet for crazy signage than I.

This one comes to you from our local paint and hardware store. I would assume that after countless husbands came back into their store with tails between their legs, they decided to have a little fun with it and give a gentle nudge towards encouraging spousal approval.

I thought of this yesterday as I was in the supermarket picking up dinner. There in the middle of the store, was a husband staring at a shopping list with a dazed and confused look on his face. Then I saw him dial his cell phone. He was someone I knew so I asked, “Not empowered to make that decision?” and he just cracked up.

What is it about married couples? Are we wives simply ridiculous control freaks or are our husbands truly incapable of these small domestic decisions because we have been handling them for so long?

Or both?


Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, signage

iheartny for legalizing same sex marriage

Ok, let’s get passed how damn cute these two were and think about how utterly amazing June 24, 2011 has become. On the very day that my parents are celebrating their 60th (!!!!!) wedding anniversary, the great state of New York has given the right to EVERY one of its citizens to grow up and marry the person they love.

The two little boys in the picture did get the chance to grow up and marry the person they love, but they were forced to do so in another state because the one in which they lived did not give them that option. In the very state in which they pay taxes, work hard, fight for causes, make a difference every day; they were not considered eligible to be married.

Until tonight.

That cutie on the left is one of my dearest friends on earth – my gay husband. He has fought tirelessly for the cause. Tonight it has all paid off.

Never in the history of the long road of friendships we have shared, have I been happier to celebrate a victory so huge that I can barely type through the tears. Those magic numbers: 33-29. The great friggin’ state of NY has finally stood behind the premise of equality and made history. I am so proud, so moved, so through the roof ecstatic for those who have fought so hard and won the rights for so many.

Frank, you are an inspiration, my favorite dog with a bone, the man who never says die and puts not only your money, but your time, where your mouth is to fight for a cause.

I am thrilled for all those who will finally be able to ‘grow up and marry the one they love’.

To quote a favorite children’s book, “Let the wild rumpus begin”.


Filed under friendship

Life with a Diabetic Dog

Oh, and with my husband, of course. A man of brevity, Gary leaves me little notes on the kitchen counter if he leaves before I get up. (he is such a romantic).

I have been battling the plague some sort of sinus/respiratory thing this week and slept in this morning since I was up hacking half the night. I came downstairs to make a cup of tea and found this note on the counter.

Translation: Let the dog out and she did her business, gave her insulin and fed her.

It’s good to laugh first thing in the morning, thanks G.


Filed under gary, humor, mel, pets

Time to Cry Tuesday – 25 years

May 11th, 1985.

Hottest day of the year and a NYC loft with no AC; rough combo.

If you were a guest at our wedding you are still trying to cool down from that one. I will never lose the vision of our best man sweating as if he were running a marathon. I will spare the rest of the details of that day and hope the rest of you will be kind enough to do so as well.

But as in most situations that spin out of our control, we made lemonade, had an amazing time and started our life together with the full knowledge that things were never going to get boring around here. And they surely have not.

We have done the better.

And sadly some of the worse.

We have unfortunately known some very scary sickness.

Yet happily we have known more extended periods of good health.

(I would like to personally thank Gary here for not crapping out on me 10 years ago to fulfill the death do us part piece)

Marriage is hard work. But it is also the person you come home to at the end of the day who you share some kids and a dog with. Who holds your hand when you are about to cry and makes you laugh, especially at the most inappropriate times. Who holds up the hose when you have a leak in the basement and shouts ‘where is this water coming from?’ and makes you care more about how funny that is than where the water is actually coming from. Who will go anywhere, anytime without a thought about if it will be hassle or not.

Life is hard. When you can share it with someone who can do a toddler dance, still wake up every day and push the damn boulder up the hill with you, knows every type of music on the planet and helps to teach your kids to appreciate it all(ish)  AND is a damn good tennis player…

then it all seems a little easier.

Happy 25th G. (and PLEASE, stop telling everyone this has been the happiest 40 years of your life).

More than life itself, baby.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, gary, holidays, men and women

Bags under my eyes and the spousal look of terror

I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and noticed some not so attractive bags under my eyes.

That’s right.





I stared in that mirror and the first thought that came to my mind was, “Ok, Ms. age gracefully, never consider plastic surgery, stop trying to chase your youth, I would NEVER… how do you like them bags?”

Not to brag, but I have – by no doing of my own – been fortunate to inherit the beautiful skin that both of my grandmothers sported well into their 80s. That coupled with an extra XX lbs on my ass, has left my 50-year-old punim relatively line and bag free(ish). But last night I was having some sinus and ear issues (no doubt from all the flying I witnessed at the movie, Up in the Air) and when I woke up it all settled in those not so endearing bags under said eyes. Luckily they started to disappear as the day wore on.

I was on the couch with my daughter and asked her to take a look at me and see if she noticed them. Then Gary came in the room. He was leaning over the coffee table innocently placing clementines in a bowl when I asked him. “Hon, do you notice bags and dark circles under my eyes?”




Poor thing. He stood there half bent over the table, frozen in time. I could hear the inner workings of his mind, “How in hell am I supposed to answer this friggin’ question?” This, my friends, falls into the proverbial ‘does my ass look fat in this…’ question. The way in which the husband answers this question will change the entire architecture of his day, if not his whole weekend. And he is fully aware of that fact. Luckily for him I had mercy on that poor terrified look on his face and started to laugh.

I am happy to report that the bags have ‘resolved’ but left in their wake is a new found terror that I am not as void of vanity as I once believed. And Gary, he is just happy he did not have to answer that question.

(oh, and of course that picture at the top of the post is not ME!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under body image, family, gary, humor, men and women, plastic surgery, women

Time to Cry Tuesday – It’s Only a Number


“Not bad for 99”, said the old woman in front of me at the supermarket as she gestured towards her husband counting out his change.

“99?!” I said, how old are you?” She told me that she was 95, he would be 100 in November and they would be married 76 years that same month. All I could think was that either Gary or I will surely run one or the other over with the car before then I hope to have such a long, happy marriage. Seventy-six years of marriage, YIKES!

Honestly, these people looked like they were in their early 80s. “He does all the cooking now. I did it the first half of our lives but he finds it relaxing and I just do the wash and the ironing now. Maybe a little dusting now and then.”

Now, here is a little something you do not know about me. It is more than a coincidence as it has been happening my whole adult life. At times when I am most stressed or aggravated, perhaps suffering from some good old-fashioned self pity, I get a sign. No seriously, I do. It is not that I am all that religious, moderately I would say, but I am spiritual. And I do pay attention to the signs.

So here is the thing. I could be having a rotten day, things can be going all sorts of wrong and then I will see a blind man get on a subway. Or someone with two canes walking down the street. All kinds of disabilities show up in my line of vision just as I am feeling good and sorry for myself.

And that is when I look up and say, “OK, I get it.”

So back to my little old couple, who by the way were driving which did concern me, but I digress. I was in the supermarket off schedule. I was racing from a soccer game in the rain to a Saturday night affair with an hour to shower, hair and make up. Oh and of course Spanx which take up 15 minutes of that hour. If you have ever put on Spanx you know what I mean. I realized that I did not have dinner for the drenched and famished soccer player so I stopped off to pick something up.

I was driving and thinking about turning 50. Not one to usually care about the numbers, this year was no exception. Until just then. And I thought, hell, 50 is old. I mean not out of it, life is over, drama queen, where has my youth gone kind of old. Just old. Or maybe old(ish).

And then there they were. My sign. The fact was these people were twice my age. And ironing for G-d sake! Seriously, get over yourself, kid!

To add to the attitude adjustment there were the 2 trips to the DMV today (a story for another time), that made me realize that in that context I was a totally young, skinny, babe.

So in celebration of turning 50 I will reaffirm my favorite thought:

There is no reality. Only perception.

Here’s to perception!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Nesting Like a Crazy Old Hag


Odd phenomenon, this nesting thing. Three days and counting till my kids come home. Where the hell did the summer go? There sits that list of ‘Things to do while the kids are away’ on my desk and there are certainly not enough check marks next to tasks.

Solution: mommy hyperdrive. Only this year it is more reactive than proactive. For instance we finally replaced the front lamp post because it snapped at the base and fell over in the wind. Hence the electrician was called to re-attach the fixture and while he is here he can fix the stuff that we have ignored for at least five years awhile.

Dinner conversation:

Me: The electrician is coming tomorrow.

Gary: Good, did you buy the timer for the basement.

Me: Oh, yeh, that. Um the hardware store didn’t have one. But I did pick up your hair gel.

Gary: Great (thinking that the electrician probably has no use for his gel, not to mention he could very well be bald).

Me: Oh, he needs to go in the attic to see why all the high hats and fan in the bathroom don’t work.

In Unison: NOT THE ATTIC (picture a horror movie scream here)

Gary: I just had tea (earl gray with honey, of course), I am not going up there in the hot attic.

Me: Fine, I’ll go!

So he went up to the attic (he is not  a fool) and started handing down things I had no intention of parting with tonight. For example: the shopping bag of Danny’s kindergarten Thanksgiving decorations, Jana’s cow lamp from her nursery, bags of old pictures. (yes I am an attic pack rat) STOP! The idea here is to clear a path to the part of the attic above the bathroom, not to actually clean it! Let’s just move the crap around like we always do.

Hey, at least he did not call me a crazy old hag like the last time he went up there.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under conversations, family, homeowner, humor, men and women

Time to Cry Tuesday…Heather and Jordan follow-up

Yesterday I wrote about Jordan Feil proposing to Heather Goodman in the NYT Sunday Styles section. No, I do not know these people, and yes one more post about them after this will border on obsession.

I am happy to report that I have never been so happy to receive a comment on my blog as this one:

virginia_hughesI am thrilled to find out that she said yes. Hey Virgina Hughes, you better not be a fake. That would break my heart.

Today’s Time to Cry Tuesday is dedicated to romance. If you are fortunate enough to have found someone to ride the crazy roller coaster of life with, be careful not to follow the temptation to push them out when things get tough. Pretty romantic, huh?

Jordan, that was one big fat grand gesture there on the proposal, dude. (and of course I don’t say dude in real life, I am way too old for that, but it sounded good here). That is going to be a tough act to follow. Heather, cut him some slack in the future, this one should surely have some longevity. (remember this one when he leaves the toilet seat up, wants to go out with the guys when the baby is sick, blows his nose at the table, forgets to pick up milk on the way home… oh sorry about that, don’t want to give you too much insight into marriage).

Good luck to you both and may my life get a little more interesting in the next 24 hours so I can stop writing about yours!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under relationships, Time to Cry Tuesdays