Tag Archives: husband

Time to Cry Tuesday – 25 years

May 11th, 1985.

Hottest day of the year and a NYC loft with no AC; rough combo.

If you were a guest at our wedding you are still trying to cool down from that one. I will never lose the vision of our best man sweating as if he were running a marathon. I will spare the rest of the details of that day and hope the rest of you will be kind enough to do so as well.

But as in most situations that spin out of our control, we made lemonade, had an amazing time and started our life together with the full knowledge that things were never going to get boring around here. And they surely have not.

We have done the better.

And sadly some of the worse.

We have unfortunately known some very scary sickness.

Yet happily we have known more extended periods of good health.

(I would like to personally thank Gary here for not crapping out on me 10 years ago to fulfill the death do us part piece)

Marriage is hard work. But it is also the person you come home to at the end of the day who you share some kids and a dog with. Who holds your hand when you are about to cry and makes you laugh, especially at the most inappropriate times. Who holds up the hose when you have a leak in the basement and shouts ‘where is this water coming from?’ and makes you care more about how funny that is than where the water is actually coming from. Who will go anywhere, anytime without a thought about if it will be hassle or not.

Life is hard. When you can share it with someone who can do a toddler dance, still wake up every day and push the damn boulder up the hill with you, knows every type of music on the planet and helps to teach your kids to appreciate it all(ish)  AND is a damn good tennis player…

then it all seems a little easier.

Happy 25th G. (and PLEASE, stop telling everyone this has been the happiest 40 years of your life).

More than life itself, baby.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, gary, holidays, men and women

Bags under my eyes and the spousal look of terror

I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and noticed some not so attractive bags under my eyes.

That’s right.

Bags.

Under.

MY.

Eyes.

I stared in that mirror and the first thought that came to my mind was, “Ok, Ms. age gracefully, never consider plastic surgery, stop trying to chase your youth, I would NEVER… how do you like them bags?”

Not to brag, but I have – by no doing of my own – been fortunate to inherit the beautiful skin that both of my grandmothers sported well into their 80s. That coupled with an extra XX lbs on my ass, has left my 50-year-old punim relatively line and bag free(ish). But last night I was having some sinus and ear issues (no doubt from all the flying I witnessed at the movie, Up in the Air) and when I woke up it all settled in those not so endearing bags under said eyes. Luckily they started to disappear as the day wore on.

I was on the couch with my daughter and asked her to take a look at me and see if she noticed them. Then Gary came in the room. He was leaning over the coffee table innocently placing clementines in a bowl when I asked him. “Hon, do you notice bags and dark circles under my eyes?”

Deer.

In.

Headlights.

Poor thing. He stood there half bent over the table, frozen in time. I could hear the inner workings of his mind, “How in hell am I supposed to answer this friggin’ question?” This, my friends, falls into the proverbial ‘does my ass look fat in this…’ question. The way in which the husband answers this question will change the entire architecture of his day, if not his whole weekend. And he is fully aware of that fact. Luckily for him I had mercy on that poor terrified look on his face and started to laugh.

I am happy to report that the bags have ‘resolved’ but left in their wake is a new found terror that I am not as void of vanity as I once believed. And Gary, he is just happy he did not have to answer that question.

(oh, and of course that picture at the top of the post is not ME!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under body image, family, gary, humor, men and women, plastic surgery, women

You may never look at strawberries the same way again

strawberries

Sometimes I worry about sharing the absurdities in my household.

Wait, no I don’t, this is one of the main reasons I started blogging.

Backstory: Gary has all sorts of crazy sayings that he claims ‘everyone knows’. Most of them are not exactly family-rated (ok, I guess the Steely Dan post wasn’t either). This is one of the kids’ favorites. When you say something to aggravate him he tells you to…

“Jump up my ass and look for strawberries!”

No, I am not kidding. At first they tried to analyze what it meant. (scary) Then it just became a given.

Sunday morning phone call:

Gary: I am done with tennis, what do you want to do for breakfast.

Me: I am making french toast but I need strawberries.

Gary: Great, I will pick some up.

then he hesitates a moment and says:

Or… I could bend you over and pull them out of your ass.

Yeh, well maybe you had to be there. Or maybe you are calling social services as you read this. Forget about it, the younger one is 17. The damage is already done.

French toast anyone?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, family, gary, humor

No wife?

plaid-on-plaid

What’s the shot that this guy has a woman living in his house?

Wife: Hon, why don’t you put on your plaid shirt and completely different plaid shorts today, they look so good together.

Husband: Oh, great, and then I can put on a pair of white gym socks with my sandals and round out the outfit.

I took this shot on the same boardwalk as the kid on a leash, dog in a stroller and recession rosaries. AND the 3 hens 3 girls and Hot… Dogs on leaving the zip code. I almost had photographic whiplash by the end of that day! Forgive the posterization, I had to screw around with the levels to get the plaids to read as I was shooting into the sun. Don’t you just hate it when absurdities don’t position themselves in the correct direction?

I am surely no fashionista. Let’s face it, I wear predominantly black clothes. I consider khaki a color. But I am always amazed when I see this kind of blatant fashion violation.

No, this is not even a fashion issue, this is a complete lack of recognition of complimentary design elements and the principles of clashing. This guy is different from the inappropriate T-shirt guys. Those guys made a conscious choice to be what they considered funny or clever, even if they weren’t. This guy? Did he get dressed in the dark? Did no one ever tell him that plaid needs a nice solid to balance it out. Has he never noticed that others don’t dress like this?

Then of course, I got a little sad. What if he lost his wife and she always told him how to dress?

Or maybe, just maybe, the conversation above really did take place.

It takes all kinds.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, fashion, humor, photography

Back in the Attic

Me: Gary, can you go into the attic and get Jana’s husband?

Gary: WHAT?!!

Me: That backrest pillow, they call it a husband. (no I do not have some guy up there waiting for the day when my daughter is ready to marry. We do not save anything with a heartbeat. At least not intentionally).

Gary: Oooh, the attic? (eyes glistening) Sure thing!

For those who read the last attic post you will remember we have a tendency to save EVERYTHING and that attic is a scary place. Gary now jumps at the chance to go up there and throw stuff down to get rid of. At least today I was not called a crazy old hag.

This week he found the box to the activity rocker. Yeh, it was from my kids. And here they are holding the box. What, 15 years is too long to save that? Do they even make these things anymore or have they deemed them unsafe and likely to cause brain damage like everything else my kids played with?

activity-rocker

I would also like to mention that he found an Apple llci up there. Yes, this baby was my first color mac. This sucker came with a whopping  80MB hard drive (note I said MB not GB) When did that come out, you ask? September 1989, 5 months after Jana was born! 

Hey, at least I did not have her ‘husband’ up there for that long!

____________________________________________________________

On another note, would you be so kind as to vote for my blog buddy blondemomblog as the best local blog/nashville because she is really cool and I would love to see her win. Click here and vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under danny, family, gary, homeowner, humor, Jana

Time to Cry Tuesday – Three Mugs

success_peace_loveWe have these three wonderful mugs in our house. I am not sure why we bought a set of only 3, but they strike such a beautiful balance that it seemed ok. 

Gary loves the shape of these mugs. He loves their size and how the handle is perfectly formed. Mostly he loves that he can drink his *earl gray with honey* in a mug big enough that he does not need a refill (anyone who has ever eaten with my husband is surely smiling at this comment). This drink is like a religious experience for him. 

I was quite sure he never looks at which mug he grabs. He only cares that it is one of these perfect sage green ones. As a little test I asked him tonight what the three green mugs said. “um, joy?” No sorry, hon. “peace and love?” good call. “happiness” forget it babe. Do you care which one you drink out of? “yeah,right!”

I bought them for both their form and their decoration. These three words seemed so perfect.

Success. Peace. Love.

I love words. I guess those of you who read me regularly know that. I have words pinned up to bulletin boards, etched in rocks, inlaid in mosaics, stuck to the fridge, you name it. There is something comforting in being surrounded by them. 

So it would seem fitting to drink out of a specific one of these word mugs as my mood changes. This makes sense if you are insane in the same way that I am.

Success. In these crazy economic times, especially after waking to the unsettling morning news, I drink my coffee out of  Success, figuring I need all the help that I can get.

Peace. During times of turmoil, both global and personal, I will reach for his mug and hope that it will calm me to drink from it. I usually drink tea from Peace

Love. When I miss my little girl or right after I watch my boy walk out the door as the man he is becoming, I drink from the Love mug. It reminds me how lucky I am to have built this beautiful family. 

In a world gone crazy, at a time when nothing seems within our control, it is nice to keep small rituals that feed your soul.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays