Category Archives: men

Fun With International Symbols

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I work long hours. My office is in the basement and every once in awhile you can find me laughing out loud down here. You know my motto, it is always good to find little things to amuse yourself.

Last night I was doing an image search for an infographic project and I needed to weed through pages of stock icon art. I almost passed this one by, but (no pun intended) the yellow struck me and I stopped. Then I tilted my head a bit and took another look. Was this what I thought it was? Um… yeh. The search term field had it spelled out loud and clear:

Rectal exam.

International symbol for rectal exam?! Well, I suppose this would come in handy in a foreign country. You know, when you are having some intestinal distress and taking over the counter meds doesn’t make as much sense as having a friggin’ rectal by someone who does not speak your language. Would this be off the street signage? Exactly where would we find this symbol?

I also came across this series:

stock-illustration-16750656-toilet-bathroom-pregnant-handicap-public-sign-icon

 

Not sure why mom/baby, wheel chair guy and trash man find their way to same page as pee boy and squatting pee boy (what the hell is that?) BTW, I believe the little squatter is wearing a shirt and no pants… wrong on all sorts of level. I love the legs up on the toilet guy. That would come in handy when illustrating a piece about perverts that hide in ladies rooms. Or my fave – the kneeling pucker, AKA the international symbol for  college freshman.

Anyone want to take a crack at the one next to pukey boy? Does that illustrate the pain one feels when trying to flush one’s foot down the toilet?

OK, I admit it. Sometimes my job is more fun than recreation. Sometimes my job IS recreation.

And seriously, who can pass up a little bathroom humor.

Thanks istockphoto, for an entertaining evening.

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Filed under absurdities, design, humor, men, men and women, work

What we say vs. what they hear

Today I was having a lovely conversation with my brother. We have been phone tagging most of the week and it was nice to finally catch up.

Somewhere towards the end of the conversation I said that I had to get going because ‘I had to go food shopping.’

He hesitated and then said, “What did you say?!”, with a bit of surprise in his voice. I told him that I had to go food shopping and thought, jeez, his life must be mighty dull for him to ask me to repeat that.

“Oh!”, he said, “I thought you said you had to give a blow job.”

Really?! I mean this was my friggin’ brother, mind you, not my husband who I would expect this response from.

Not sure if this was a hearing issue, like yoga vs. yogurt, or simply my theory of the answer to every question being, “a little head would be nice” still holding up.

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Filed under absurdities, family, humor, men, men and women

Sticky Dicky? (they Krazy Glued what?)

crazy-glueForgive me if you are tired of this story by now, but seriously, did you think I could leave this one unmentioned?

This Wisco ‘playah’ was lured to a motel room by one of his handful of lovers and was bound and blindfolded, most probably in hopes of a little action. To his surprise, his wife and two other angry lovers arrived and this poor schnook wound up with his dick stuck to his stomach with crazy glue.

Ouch. And quite creative, I might add. The visual on this one kills me.

(Note: Let’s not feel too bad for this dickhead (or shall I say dickbelly) as he has now been charged with felony child abuse and three other misdemeanors. Could one of them have been nail polish remover theft? Is that a misdemeanor?)

Oddly enough, as innovative as this act might have appeared, it was not original. Apparently back in 2000 a man found himself in a similar bind. Only this guy not only had his penis stuck to his stomach, he also found his testicles glued to his leg and his butt cheeks glued together. All done while he was sleeping! To quote Gary, “Now, that’s tough!”  I know it is cruel but I cannot stop laughing from that one. Do you think the Wisco guy called him to find out what solvent to use?

I am reminded of good old John and Lorena Bobbit. Now there is a guy who would have begged for some crazy glue!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, current events, humor, men, men and women

Oh, honey

honey_head

Anyone who has ever shared a meal with my husband is accustomed to the familiar, “Tea please. Earl Grey. With honey.” 

Everywhere. He could be at a diner in Manchester, Tennessee with Dr. Jimmy and he will just assume that they will be able to accommodate his needs.

So, when we happened upon this jovial honey vendor with the very creative hive hat at the fabulous Dane County Farmers’ Market on opening day, it only seemed fitting to ask if he would pose with Gary. (Gary is such a good sport. Actually, I think he loves this shit). I little plug for Marsden’s Pure Honey since this honey man was so willing to allow us to take his picture.

Of course we purchased a pack of honey sticks so I could carry them in my bag in the event that a restaurant does not have honey.

Always fun when you dine with us.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, gary, humor, men, products

Men and Their Meat

your_right_in_liking_meat1

American Meat Institute, 1947 

Nice title, right? I am sure I got your attention with that.

Today was Gary’s birthday, and I am a total loser that I did not capitalize on it and do some little heartfelt birthday thing for Time to Cry Tuesday so everyone could send him their good wishes. Please feel free to jump out of the lurking mode and send him a shout out a day late.

For his big day we let him pick the restaurant. This guy, who is the picture of low-fat eating 364 days a year,  jumped out of the box and craved a good old- fashioned, testosterone boosting slab of meat. 

We walked into the steak joint and quickly noticed that my girlfriend and I were amongst maybe 6 women in the entire restaurant. Tuesday night in the land of steak was all men. Table after table of guys chewing the fat, seated around overloaded plates of meat, meat, meat. Kind of an odd scene for me. It almost took on the feeling of some old time movie. 

A primal, back to basics birthday for the man.

Happy birthday Gary, hope you enjoyed your meat!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, men

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (vol. 2)

 

I have written about this topic before. You can read it here.

I have always been fascinated by the different way men and women perceive things. This morning I woke up agitated from a disturbing dream. Oddly enough, so did Gary. I assume these trying times are getting to both of us.

He has often placed a request for me not to share my dreams (they scare him). Today I did not give him a chance to reject the story, he was still half asleep and emerging from his own bad dream.

Mine? He was forcing me to move to Florida and we were driving down with all our stuff. Then we were in this awful cookie cutter house with all these boxes and strange people we did not know. He was telling me that he was going to change his career, sell windows and I was a bitch for not supporting him. I was sobbing uncontrollably saying that I hate Florida (sorry Floridians, I like to visit). 

His? Oh his dream was that 25% of the earth split off and was careening into space. Alrighty then, a science fiction dream.

I laughed and said this would make a perfect blog post.

Gary: You can’t do that, people will think you are crazy.

Me: Wait, you had a dream about a quarter of the earth splitting off and careening through space and you think people will consider me crazy for dreaming about a forced move to Florida?

And there you have it.

Later he said that he was on one piece of the earth and I was on the other. All I could think of was that the only way his subconscious could figure out how to get rid of me was by destroying the planet. 

Kinda scary if you ask me. Note to self: sleep with one eye open.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, men, men and women, relationships, women