May 16, 2009 · 9:26 pm

Offices for Rent

offices-for-rent

Stopped at a red light on my way back from food shopping this image was a gift. it is hard to believe this was taken in our pretty little suburb. If I did not know better I would have thought this picture was taken in the Bronx.

This guy is quite attractive, don’t you think? I mean, wouldn’t you want to rent space from him. Hey bud, how about a shirt? I can’t help but wonder who he was taking to and what they were taking about. He seems so intense.

I always wonder if other people notice this kind of thing as they navigate through their day. I shot a bunch of images today as I went through the mundane tasks of a Saturday.

Errands are so much more fun with a camera. (hey, that would make a great tagline).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 15, 2009 · 9:10 pm

Moth Balls

moth ballsWhen I was growing up there was a distinct odor that came for the closets of my nana’s house.

Moth Balls.

Theirs was a generation that lived and died for these little round balls of camphor. You did not think of putting your off season clothing away without surrounding them with moth balls.

I wonder about the moth ball market and if it is shrinking now that the women of my nana’s generation have passed on. Are there younger people who hang onto the practice of using them? I am pretty sure I have never seen them in use again since nana’s house.

Honestly, anyone out there see them other than granny’s closet?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 14, 2009 · 10:11 pm

Signs you are working too hard

the-job-that-ate-my-brain1. Still wearing last night’s pajamas while sitting at your desk at 10:50 PM

2. When your teenage son asks, “What’s for dinner?” you answer with, “Didn’t you eat last night?”

3. You are pretty sure that the sweatshirt you are passing off for pajamas was purchased after your first pregnancy, and that ‘child’ is now 20 years old.

4. To placate the hungry teen you agree to go with him to the gourmet pizza place – and let him drive.

5. You realize once you get there that the probability is high of running into someone you went to HS with while wearing this lovely outfit, being unshowered and driving your daughter’s beat up old jeep. (loser without a chance to explain). Luckily this did not happen.

6. Going to the bathroom is a nuisance and is getting in the way of you finishing your work.

Oh, I could go on. And sadly I did not make up any of those items (well number 5 was just a fear, but a real one). Working home has its advantages.

Style/personal hygiene is not one of them.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 13, 2009 · 10:37 pm

Today’s Mail

guilt

You never know what you will find in the mailbox. I am just happy there are no dead rodents in there after last week’s dog food episode. Yes, I am traumatized by that event, thank you for asking.

So what has come in the mail to entertain me. Well, today, I don’t really know because it is 11PM and I am still at my desk and haven’t brought the mail in yet. (scary). But over the last few days I have received:

1. The postcard above. Nice right. It’s always nice to get a little (4×6) guilt in the mail just in case you don’t have enough of it hanging around your house. No it is not from my mother, or someone channeling my dear departed Nana. This was from a local church advertising an Easter service. My favorite line on this card was “Does life offer a reboot?” That would be cool. But do I run the risk of losing data?

2. ANOTHER AARP card. That makes a total of 4 in the last 6 months. Whoever is in charge of sending out these cards, leave me the hell alone, I am not 50 yet!

3. A lovely flyer from a Crematorium. I have received mail from cemeteries, but never one of these.

4. Hmmm, I also got a really high-end brochure from a funeral home. Does somebody know something about my health that I don’t?

5. Oh and this one was great. A solicitation from a stock broker addressed to Arny Levinson (married name for those who are confused). Ok, so I get that when you squint an ‘a’ and an ‘r’ could look like an ‘m’. But this was typed in all caps! ARNY

That’s all I’ve got. Anybody else get any interesting mail lately?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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May 12, 2009 · 10:22 pm

Blogaversary

blogaversary

Believe it or not, my friends, today marks my one year blogaversary. Yes, I have been banging away here on the the keyboard for a full year, trying to make you all laugh. I look back on my first post and still consider it one of my best: Spanx, Dunkin Donuts and the fear of YouTube. I had no idea what this crazy blog would become. Oddly that first post set the tone and made me realize that my life can be funny sometimes.

I hardly remember life before blogging. Everything seems like it should be a post. Sad, funny, poignant, disgusting, it is all blogworthy.

I think what this blog has done most for me, is made me walk the walk of its mission; to laugh, sometimes to the point of tears.

Face it, life is hard, and we all get cranky… A LOT. Those who know me well hear me kvetch on a regular basis. But this is the place I come to at the end of every day to force myself to see the humorous side of things. No matter how down I get, the idea of a big box of shut the hell up will always get a laugh out of me. Sometimes the topics are ones where you would never find humor, like aging parents. Other times it is just the theatre of the absurd, like the Freakatorium, because that is the best place to escape.

Hey, without this blog I would never have been the Minneapolis fm107.1 Get Real Girl of the Week. A thrill no woman should be denied.

As a little gift to myself I submitted the word blogaversary to Urban Dictionary. If approved this will join my other words there: bloganoia, psuedosnarky, twitobirth, twirgin and twexpert. Yes, it is an odd hobby but someone has to do it. Why? I don’t know, but someone does.

I want to thank all of you that read me so loyally. Those I know in real life, and those I have met through this space. Social media has combined my two faves, connecting with people and technology. I was a natural for this crap.

In celebration of this event, you can stop racking your brains on what to get me (no I am not registered at Blogs ‘r Us), simply humor me and throw a comment out today. Those who read daily but stay quiet, show a little love and tell me what you like, or what you don’t like. A favorite post, a least favorite topic. Or hell, share a recipe or a story of your own. Just de-lurk and show me that you are there. Then you can go back into your little holes and read quietly again after today.

Thank you all, and I see you in the stats so I know you are there. For making me realize that there is always room for more humor in your lives.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 12, 2009 · 6:29 am

Time to Cry Tuesday…Heather and Jordan follow-up

Yesterday I wrote about Jordan Feil proposing to Heather Goodman in the NYT Sunday Styles section. No, I do not know these people, and yes one more post about them after this will border on obsession.

I am happy to report that I have never been so happy to receive a comment on my blog as this one:

virginia_hughesI am thrilled to find out that she said yes. Hey Virgina Hughes, you better not be a fake. That would break my heart.

Today’s Time to Cry Tuesday is dedicated to romance. If you are fortunate enough to have found someone to ride the crazy roller coaster of life with, be careful not to follow the temptation to push them out when things get tough. Pretty romantic, huh?

Jordan, that was one big fat grand gesture there on the proposal, dude. (and of course I don’t say dude in real life, I am way too old for that, but it sounded good here). That is going to be a tough act to follow. Heather, cut him some slack in the future, this one should surely have some longevity. (remember this one when he leaves the toilet seat up, wants to go out with the guys when the baby is sick, blows his nose at the table, forgets to pick up milk on the way home… oh sorry about that, don’t want to give you too much insight into marriage).

Good luck to you both and may my life get a little more interesting in the next 24 hours so I can stop writing about yours!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 10, 2009 · 8:02 pm

Will you marry me? (Jordan Feil proposes to Heather Goodman in the NYT!)

Jordan-Feil-proposes-Heather-Goodman

Here is something you may not know about me. I am a rabid reader of the Sunday Styles section in the NYT. It is kind of funny for a woman who cares little about fashion and certainly does not fall into the category of a traditionalist.

But the Vows column always gets me. I love to read the stories of the featured wedding. And of course the other couplings always entertain me. ‘The bride is completing her second PhD. in clinical canine psychotherapy (the first being in neonatal brain patterning) while training for a marathon and chairing this year’s most prestigious charity event. Her husband is a hedge fund manager, brain surgeon, olympic medalist who makes jewelry in his spare time and created her engagement ring. All four of their parents are Nobel Prize winners!”

Seriously, don’t any waitresses marry any auto mechanics in New York?

Today, as I finished reading this section I came across the proposal above in the bottom right corner of the page. Yes, ladies and gents, it would appear that Jordan Feil has popped the question to Heather Goodman in the NYT today! I am on pins and needles for her reply. I googled them and so far nothing. How will I find out if she says yes? Heather, please, I beg of you, throw me a comment here.

In case you are wondering, no I have no idea who these people are. But I am a hopeless romantic and I love the whole idea of this. That is if she says yes, of course. If it is a no good old Jordan will be needing a drinking buddy.

This particular proposal gets me all misty-eyed as it falls on the eve of my wedding anniversary. Yes, ladies and gents, May 11th is the magical date that Gary agreed to put up with this crazy bee-otch, in sickness and health, till death do us part. (hoping there is no meat cleaver hiding under the bed, I have been unusually cranky lately with headaches and a sore throat – a terrible patient)

Happy Anniversary Gary! To the man who is always up for any adventure, may you never lose your love of life and spontaneous nature. You are always a good sport and ready to jump into whatever antics I ask you to partake in. Thanks for always being there (especially when there is a dead mouse in the dog food) but mostly for loving me…

no matter what.

More than life itself, baby!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 9, 2009 · 10:39 pm

Sons are from Mars, Daughters are from Venus: A Mother’s Day Story

mothers-day

Today I received the most beautiful early Mother’s Day card from Jana. The second year of college has brought with it an ease in remembering the little things that make a big difference. She has made sure birthday gifts and cards arrive in time without being reminded. She handles her own ‘stuff’ with ease and little complaint. And this mother’s day the gift of her sending cards to not only me, but both her grandmothers, is the best one I could receive.

I texted her to thank her and tell her that she made me cry. She said she knew she would and then told me she had a funny story. Here it is:

Her friend went to buy a Mother’s day card and a girl who was in the store told her all the good ones were gone. The two of them decided to work as a team, going through every card in the store to try and find one that did not suck. While they were diligently reading every last card on the rack, a boy walked in, picked up the first card he saw, didn’t read it and walked out.

And that is the difference between boys and girls.

Hey, you have to give him credit for actually buying the card.

On this Mother’s Day I would like to wish all the moms in my life a wonderful day filled with family, love, and nothing that you do not want to do.

To my mom and my mother in law, I wish you the happiest day of all. I hope you both know how grateful we are to have reached this age and still have all four of our childrens’ grandparents. We are truly blessed.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 8, 2009 · 5:15 pm

Would you like a side of mouse with that?

Ewww. EWWWWWW! EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!

This is how my day started. Lying in bed I actually heard the dog’s stomach rumbling. That would be the same dog that Danny forgot to feed last night. Feeling bad for her I got up, brushed my teeth and went downstairs to feed her.

Before I even made coffee!! (I am such a good mother)

Picture this:

1. Open door to garage.

2. Lift (unsecured lid) off the ‘rodent-proof’ dog food container.

3. Reach for a really big scoopful of dog food cuz I felt bad for the starving dog.

That is when it happened. I lifted up the cute dog-faced blue scooper filled with dog food and…

Dead Mouse with Feet to the Skystuck into the kibble – head first mind you – with his little mouse butt and rigamortis tail and feet jutting out, was the deadest mouse I had ever seen. Of course I threw the scooper back into the container but was not exactly sure that the mouse landed back in there.

(I would like make a side comment that I am not your typical girly girl. Bugs do not bother me. Live rodents are a nuisance but I don’t freak when I see them. Slugs, hmmm, I hate these too. If you are a long time reader you will remember the last time I was really grossed out by something).

So I did what any self respecting, independent, fearless, i-can-handle-anything (but a dead mouse in the dog food) type woman would do. I stormed upstairs, woke Gary out of a dead sleep and demanded that he de-mouse the garage immediately. His protestations were short-lived as he could see I was not going to wait another minute. (yes, living with me IS paradise).

I will not describe his de-mousing outfit because that would make me seem ungrateful for the fact that he not only threw out the food AND the mouse but washed the container. This was because he ascertained that we had us, in fact, some ‘fresh mouse’ as there were droppings in there. This sucker had one last big ole meal, took a crap or two and expired in the depths of the kibble.

The fact that he wanted to still feed the food to the dog was a bit concerning, but again, I don’t want to criticize and appear ungrateful.

For now on when we feed the dog, the desire to ask, ‘Do you want a side of mouse with that?’ will be very tempting.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 7, 2009 · 11:42 pm

Garbology

Wikipedia defines this as the study of refuse and trash. I call this the Gladys Kravitz syndrome. For those who do not remember her, or those who are too young (f all of you that are too young; ) she was the nosey neighbor on Bewitched. I seem to have a lot of references for Bewitched characters. I think I will post about Larry Tate at a future date. And then maybe Dr. Bombay.

Back to garbology.

As I have mentioned many times, I walk in the morning with Mel. Dog walkers love garbage day because there are cans out to dump our doody bags in and we don’t have to walk the whole way carrying them. But I love garbage days for another reason, I get to see what the neighbors have been up to.

I walk down the street with these thoughts bouncing through my head:

hmmm… these guys can sure suck down the white wine.

oh my, look whose toddler is still not toilet trained, another case of diapers.

oh these guys just got a new chainsaw, that confirms they are not Jewish!

wow, that’s an awful full recycling can of beer bottles when there are no parents home at that house.

I have seen boxes marked with a label that says ‘Do Not Throw Away‘ and others lying on the ground that say ‘Do Not Lay Flat’. Old furniture and knick knacks so ugly you cannot believe anyone would ever purchase them.

All in all, the garbage of your neighbors can give you a glimpse into their households without really knowing who lives in them

The perfect Gladys Kravitz experience.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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