Tag Archives: easter

Easter and Passover Musings from an Immature Woman

Yes, I admit that I am immature. In fact, I am rather proud of it. I like slapstick and bathroom humor and yes, even the original 3 Stooges – no one likes Shemp. (the latter being one of the main reasons my husband married me)

This year Passover and Easter fell on the same weekend. This made Riki very uncomfortable as she worried very much about how the chickens were going to produce so many eggs in such a short period of time.

My brother (the labor lawyer) assured her they were being paid overtime.

Here are some of my holiday musings for Passover/Easter 2012

1. Potato Starch drug deal – After 4 trips in 24 hours to the market, I did not have the patience to make one more. Late Thursday night I realized that I needed half a cup of potato starch for a recipe. Riki (she is showing up a lot here lately) was kind enough to leave me some in her mailbox so I could pick it up at the ungodly hour of 6:45 AM when I take Jana to the train. As I lifted it out of the mailbox I thought of the possible headline, “Jewish mother arrested for bag of supposed cocaine in her front seat… later found out this was potato starch.”

2. All of the other horseradish were jealous – no explanation necessary. I have posted about this before. Again… there is no end to my adolescent behavior. I also wrote about a well-endowed cucumber a few summers ago. Let’s face it, phallic vegetables are ALWAYS funny, in the same way that talking about Uranus is.

3. Scary Easter Bunny – I took this shot at the Chelsea Flea market a while back and I had to post it for Easter for none other than my friend Michelle Lamar who has an equal affection for the absurd. We tend to try to outpost each other with weird stuff. She is the one who turned me on to tampon crafts way back when.

Yes, there are many of us out there who act this way.

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Today’s Mail

guilt

You never know what you will find in the mailbox. I am just happy there are no dead rodents in there after last week’s dog food episode. Yes, I am traumatized by that event, thank you for asking.

So what has come in the mail to entertain me. Well, today, I don’t really know because it is 11PM and I am still at my desk and haven’t brought the mail in yet. (scary). But over the last few days I have received:

1. The postcard above. Nice right. It’s always nice to get a little (4×6) guilt in the mail just in case you don’t have enough of it hanging around your house. No it is not from my mother, or someone channeling my dear departed Nana. This was from a local church advertising an Easter service. My favorite line on this card was “Does life offer a reboot?” That would be cool. But do I run the risk of losing data? 

2. ANOTHER AARP card. That makes a total of 4 in the last 6 months. Whoever is in charge of sending out these cards, leave me the hell alone, I am not 50 yet!

3. A lovely flyer from a Crematorium. I have received mail from cemeteries, but never one of these. 

4. Hmmm, I also got a really high-end brochure from a funeral home. Does somebody know something about my health that I don’t? 

5. Oh and this one was great. A solicitation from a stock broker addressed to Arny Levinson (married name for those who are confused). Ok, so I get that when you squint an ‘a’ and an ‘r’ could look like an ‘m’. But this was typed in all caps! ARNY

That’s all I’ve got. Anybody else get any interesting mail lately?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under absurdities, humor