Category Archives: work

December 30, 2009 · 10:17 pm

Font Masturbation

No, I did not make up that name, but I wish I did. This is an actual typeface that I found today while doing a font search. I will admit I colored it and added the effects, but hey, who wouldn’t?

You can see it here on my favorite free typeface website, dafont.com. (please keep in mind many of the free fonts are for personal use, if you want to use them commercially you need to contact them. This one in particular would be for EXTREMELY personal use).

This sucker (no pun – ok maybe yes pun) was designed by Graham Meade of GemFonts and I am not going to lie, I think I might have a crush on him. Seriously, how can you not love a guy that designs a typeface like this? It is so beautifully executed with just a hint of the perverse while still maintaining that whimsical aura. (ok, too many years of doing design presentations, I know).

Yes, once again I am an infant. But let’s be honest, that is why most of you come here every day; to see me behaving poorly.

Wishing you all a happy new year, be safe and remember, penic masturbata is just font usage with someone you love. And of course, hoping you do not experience any typface interruptus in 2010.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 11, 2009 · 12:49 am

Out of the Basement

For those who know me, I am usually rather subterranean. My office is in the basement. It has been called the command center by those who humor me, or maybe the people who truly get who I am. Aside from my morning walk, most of what I do – professionally and personally – can be handled from this underground habitat.

However, this week I have been very out of the basement. Let me rephrase that, I have actually been VERY out of the basement. It’s not bad. But I feel as if I am becoming a little disoriented. Perhaps it is all that oxygen. Or it could be that I am simply  a little overstimulated. Actually, I think I am a lot overstimulated. But on the other hand, a big thank you to those who added to the overstimulation. Not bad once in awhile. And no, I am not an agoraphobic for those of you who were starting to go down that road.

The controlled environment down here keeps me somewhat focused; if having a blog post, a twitter stream, a facebook page (with the odd chat going on) and various work projects open while emailing, listening to WFUV, answering texts and talking on the phone simultaneously would be considered focused.

Jeez, perhaps I need to sit in a dark room!

I have driven so much this week that I almost ran out of gas tonight. There I was at almost midnight on the Whitestone bridge and that scary orange ‘low fuel’ light came on. Not a great place to run out of gas. Happy to report I made it home. (I wonder if the car will start in the morning).

So tomorrow I will vow to spend most of the day down here. I will be productive and try my best to process it all. And yes, if any of you need me to look something up or mapquest for you like you usually do, you know where to find me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 29, 2009 · 7:17 pm

Just Another Manic Monday

All that food. All that family. And the hanging around, wandering aimlessly through a 4-day weekend. The laundry. The trips to the airport. Of course a massive leaf blowing extravaganza. And more TV than any household should have to endure. Top it all off with the cherry on top of the Rock Hall of Fame Concert for 4 hours on HBO.

So, Monday. The mother of all Mondays. Cyber Monday for those of you who are closet Black Friday peops. Do you slip right back into the grind? Start pushing that bolder up the hill again? Or do you have a fresh perspective? Do you have a well-rested feeling that makes you feel ready to buckle down and be productive? Or maybe you would be happier with just one more day of slugdom.

Or both.

THAT is what I call a truly Manic Monday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 27, 2009 · 9:52 pm

I’d Rather Starve

Actual conversation:

Me: Just wanted to touch base with you because I will be out of the office on Monday for the Jewish Holiday.

Client: I am so jealous.

Me: Yeh, well, we have to starve.

Client: I would rather starve than go to work.

I am pretty sure this person was kidding as I know she loves her job, but it was funny anyway.

For those who are, have an easy fast. For those who aren’t, have a cheeseburger.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 20, 2009 · 8:01 pm

Phone in Jury Duty

Jury-duty

Whose idea was this one? Do they have this everywhere or is this county specific?

I am not sure if this is a great idea or a really lousy one. I will let you know at the end of the FIVE FRIGGIN’ DAYS that the county of Nassau has decided they are entitled to hold my schedule hostage.

Really guys, no problem for me to call you every damn night (after 5:00) to find out if my next day is my own. Of course I have nothing better to do than keep rescheduling anything that needs to be addressed the following day. Or better yet, write the whole week off to that frivolous style of spontaneity that has always been so successful in running both a business and a family/home.

I suppose this is better than the show up and sit in that big room kind of thing I had to do last time. But what happened to the sole proprietor of a business exemption I used to enjoy years ago. Give me a break, I can’t just stop working because you guys need jurors. Perhaps I could show up with my underwear on the outside of my clothing and act like nothing is wrong. That might discourage anyone from wanting me on a jury.

Then again, that might be just the thing to get me picked.

Or perhaps when I tell them I come from a family of lawyers they might not find me all that desirable.

Oh, and BTW, not that I encourage racial or religious profiling, but my married last name is Levinson. And this would be the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The days of awe (and brisket) are not always the best time for a Jew to take off yet another day from work.

My husband received the dreaded Juror Questionnaire this week. He asked me if I thought it was a bad idea to just answer all the questions with ‘F-off’. Um, yeh, probably would certainly get him a seat on jury, don’t you think?

So, if you are looking for me this week and I don’t get right back to you it is because perhaps my number was up.

You guys know me by now. Do you really think it would be in the best interest of any attorney to pick this big-mouthed, opinionated, menopausal bee-otch to help determine the fate of another person? (that question was rhetorical).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 14, 2009 · 10:11 pm

Signs you are working too hard

the-job-that-ate-my-brain1. Still wearing last night’s pajamas while sitting at your desk at 10:50 PM

2. When your teenage son asks, “What’s for dinner?” you answer with, “Didn’t you eat last night?”

3. You are pretty sure that the sweatshirt you are passing off for pajamas was purchased after your first pregnancy, and that ‘child’ is now 20 years old.

4. To placate the hungry teen you agree to go with him to the gourmet pizza place – and let him drive.

5. You realize once you get there that the probability is high of running into someone you went to HS with while wearing this lovely outfit, being unshowered and driving your daughter’s beat up old jeep. (loser without a chance to explain). Luckily this did not happen.

6. Going to the bathroom is a nuisance and is getting in the way of you finishing your work.

Oh, I could go on. And sadly I did not make up any of those items (well number 5 was just a fear, but a real one). Working home has its advantages.

Style/personal hygiene is not one of them.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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December 16, 2008 · 9:20 pm

Technological Flu

technology

(no this is not a picture of my desk, but it was tempting)

Today was some day. I am pretty sure all the technology in my office got together while I was in the bathroom or making coffee and plotted against me. First, my email account decided to completely stop sending emails. Oh, it would receive just fine, but not a single message would go out. Luckily I am a lunatic with many email addresses, but this was the main one. Wait, was I being censored or just paranoid? Or both?

Then, of course, the blackberry decided to wig out because I changed the password on the email account in lieu of kicking the CPU (that rarely works).

When I plugged the digital camera into the USB port it opened the scanner software instead of the image download utility. Why? To mess me up of course!

For the last few days my large format printer has had a low ink blinking light on one of its eight color cartridges (does it really need light magenta to print? give me a break with the 8 colors!) Could this have been a signal to the other equipment to start acting up? What? This sounds delusional to you?

Of course today was an insanely busy work day, when else would all of this stuff happen? 

On my bulletin board over my desk sits a quote,

“When the mechanical-technological things in our life break down, it is not a personal attack on us. It is just the nature of the mechanical-material world”

Lovely. I feel much better, thanks. Makes half a lost day seem ok now (not!)

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 15, 2008 · 10:06 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Success

Before I begin this post I must point out Jana’s comment on yesterday’s hamster post. “You forgot to mention how after she died we kept her in a shoebox in the outside refrigerator for over a month before we got a chance to bury her.” Yes, we did actually freeze the dead hamster in the garage freezer in a box that was clearly marked. From what we can remember the ground was too frozen to bury her so we ‘stored’ her in our little makeshift morgue… next to the frozen waffles. Ok, maybe a bit quirky, I will admit that. (see below on raising non psycho kids)

silosuccess-mugThese crazy economic times have made so many people re-evaluate the meaning of success. Honestly, if I hear one more person bring up this topic I will be tempted to poke them in the eye. So I would fully understand your disgust if you don’t want to read my 2 cents here (or should I say my 1.25 cents with the state of the market).

Nowadays, flat is the new up (thank you to my financial friends who brought this to my attention). Poor is the new rich. So how do we begin to reconcile the true meaning of success when everywhere we hear stories of people who have worked their whole lives, lived prudently and saved only to find themselves nowhere near the comfort level of security that they imagined. Or worse.

Let me redefine success. 

Today’s definition of success is the ability to keep one step ahead. To continue to plug away and make it work. To love what you do, or at least not hate it, even if it is not as financially lucrative as it once was. To think creatively of new ways to make your life full instead of filling your life. To be truly successful is to take stock in what works in your life and be grateful for that . As my Nana used to say, to look at those below you instead of those above, for there are many more in worse shape.

To have raised healthy productive children (translation: kids who are not psychos in spite of our child-rearing techniques). To maintain a marriage not only in the good times, but in the tough ones (translation: to not kill one’s spouse with a butter knife in their sleep). To be a good friend to those in need and know how to lean when you need the help (translation: know who will be available to drive you to the emergency room – thanks again Rik).

In short, the doom and gloom could kill you way faster than the actual situation can.

So lighten up everyone. Panic never helped the situation. 

How do you define success? (Tip: net worth comments will be scoffed at here)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 4, 2008 · 5:50 pm

How about a big box of shut the hell up?

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Angry? Me? Actually no. But this search term that landed a reader on my blog just kills me. Wendy, you challenged me to write a blog post on this one, so here it is. 

Ask my family. This has overshadowed my need to sing Kung Fu Fighting daily. (yes, I really do that) I don’t know why I find this so funny. I love when something can make me laugh like that, even if it is completely ridiculous. Oh, that’s right, I love the completely ridiculous. In fact, I might have to say that is the mission statement of this blog. (are mission statements still fashionable?)

Over the past few days I have found that I have given this advise to people more than once.

What, you have a client that just changed the complete direction of a project you are working on? (you know who you are). Well, just send them ‘a big box of shut the hell up?’.

You say that a social worker you hired to help you navigate the horrific sandwich generation task of handling your elderly parent’s healthcare issues just threatened to quit? (you also know who you are). Well, my friend, get her on the phone and let her know she is getting a special delivery ‘big box of shut the hell up’.

Ok, one more. Your teenager is arguing with you, over text message no less, and you have had enough? (you surely know who you are). Tell her case closed and when she gets home she can carry that ‘big box of shut the hell up’ to her room and remember who’s the mama in your house. 

I am thinking of putting out a product line. (nobody steal this, ok) If you would design a big box of shut the hell up, what would it look like? Seems I have already started on the logo.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 21, 2008 · 7:17 pm

Blogaholic? Me?

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Uh oh. It has happened. Blogging (and twittering) have now gotten in the way of my real life. Wait, I have a real life, right? I mean my real life did not get up and pack it’s bags while I was banging the keyboard, right?

This could be a problem folks. I may need help.

Here are a few conversations that have taken place in my house lately:

Danny: mom, you are obsessed with blogs.

Me: NO I AM NOT! (the classic doth protest too much response, how cliché).

Gary: I need to say this. I think your personal hygiene has gone down the tubes since you started blogging

Me: What? Are you crazy?

Gary: Let’s see, whenever I call during the day you tell me you haven’t showered yet. The other day I came home from work and you were still in your walking clothes and did not shower till midnight.

Me: Um, in my defense I never get into bed without showering.

Gary: And you did use the sentence, “I don’t remember the last time I washed my hair” the other day.

Me: Alright. Maybe I did say that but I did not mean like it was weeks or anything.

Come to think of it my nails do look like they could be in fashion if I were a rich young thang. And perhaps the fact that I still had sweats on at 3PM AND they were on inside out could all be signs of, what shall I say, a little personal neglect of sorts.

But I have been working at home for years. And have kids for almost 20 of those years (yikes, hard to say that one outloud). I have always spent a ridiculous amount of time in my subterranean office cocoon affectionately known as the command center. I have over-volunteered and fallen victim to the sandwich generation woes many times while working full time, taking care of a family and a home and still was able to take a shower in a timely fashion.

So, what makes the blogging piece the culprit? 

Suggestions, please? I need to be rehabilitated.

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