Tag Archives: yom kippur

Hurricanes trump earthquakes… FU Irene

Ok, T minus who the hell knows how many hours till the storm hits the Island of Long. To all my east coast friends, sit tight, drink often and remember that if you have a coffee press you don’t need electricity.

For those who are worried about my parents, they are safely evacuated to my house and we are hunkering with plenty of alcohol (for me) and a puzzle. May AT&T stay live so my iPad remains working and may you all have an easy hurricane (sort of like an easy fast on Yom Kippur for my fellow tribesman).

BTW, bbm or text Jana if you can. She is stuck in this house with her parents and grandparents; yep she is pretty glad she graduated and is living home! (thank goodness she has the dog).

Two more sleeps and this damn thing will be over.

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Filed under current events, weather

Time to (laugh till you) Cry Tuesday

Smoked Salmon Bagel

Jews were not meant to go without food.

It is a simple fact that without caloric intake, and surely caffeine, things can go haywire.

Big time.

Antics. That is the only way to explain the absurdity of the end of my day. Amy antics. To the nth degree.

Keep in mind that the patriarchs in the family are hearing about this for the first time with this blog post, so to my dad and father-in-law, sorry the bagels were not warmed up and really, it was all my fault.

Here goes. And understand that there is no way you could make this stuff up.

I, in my control freak fashion infinite kindness, tried to help my mother-in-law out by picking up the food for break fast and keeping it in my garage fridge so it would not spoil. On cooler days she can keep it on her terrace, but in the name of not wanting rancid smoked fish and egg salad, we offered to keep it here and bring it over to her house at 5 when my husband and the dads went back to closing services for Yom Kippur.

For reasons of logistics I was taking my dad’s car. I loaded the trunk, closed it and realized I had just…

locked the keys in the trunk!

Yeh, well that did not suck much. I was going to run to my parents house (35 minutes away) to get another set of keys when my mother-in-law, in her infinite wisdom suggested AAA. The fact that she was not ready to kill me at this point is truly amazing.

I begged the guy on the phone to get here ASAP telling him how my dad was going to kill me. Then promptly told him how old I was when he replied, “hey, I am 62 and I am still afraid of my mother! She used to chase me with a wooden spoon.” Alrighty, then.

Sure enough they sent a locksmith within in the hour.

My man Andre! Oh, how I loved him. Especially when we found out that the trunk release button did not work unless the key was in the ignition. If you are still with me here, THE KEYS WERE IN THE DAMN TRUNK. He used the little entry to the trunk through the armrest in the back seat and somehow navigated around platters and bagels and kugels to find those keys. And during it all gave some sage-like advice about some higher reason why we should not be where we were supposed to be at that moment and that is why this happened.

Zen locksmith.

And then it started to rain.

Luckily we got there about 15 minutes before the starving temple guys and made a quick effort of getting it all together.

Sorry dad, but don’t worry, the car is fine. Thanks to my mother-in-law for being such a good sport and my mom for staying calm and sharing a good (nervous) laugh through it all.

Moral of the story:

Stay out of it and risk the rancid fish on the terrace.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, family, holidays, humor, Time to Cry Tuesdays

I’d Rather Starve

Actual conversation:

Me: Just wanted to touch base with you because I will be out of the office on Monday for the Jewish Holiday.

Client: I am so jealous.

Me: Yeh, well, we have to starve.

Client: I would rather starve than go to work.

I am pretty sure this person was kidding as I know she loves her job, but it was funny anyway.

For those who are, have an easy fast. For those who aren’t, have a cheeseburger.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under conversations, holidays, work, work habits

Time to Cry Tuesday

Wow, Tuesday again? Jeez, I could cry but I don’t have….

Ok, that was lame. Sorry.

I thought a lot about what belonged here this week. Since the last TtCT I have spent a lot of time with family and community for the Jewish holidays. This time of year leaves us Jews all sorts of reflective.

I could have written about the moving sermons given by our clergy (fabulous, actually). Or some of the touching moments with my family. Or how hard it is to have a holiday without our dear sweet Jana-girl. (there we all go, tears are starting). 

But there was one incident that stood out this week for me. I have already shared it with a few of you so if you want to go get a cup of coffee now and come back tomorrow I will understand.

On Yom Kippur evening I was near the entrance of the synagogue greeting congregants. (Over-volunteer job #10,000: Synagogue Board Member). An elderly gentleman that I have known for many years came into the lobby with his tie undone. He has not been well for the past few years yet he always makes the effort to attend services. He looked agitated and was asking if we had seen his friend who he asked for by name. With kindess and grace a man I was standing with gently guided this man off to the side and offered to help him with his tie. He had a calming way of helping him with the dignity and compassion that he deserved.

The beautiful thing about this story is that the helper was not someone I would have expected this from. This was a genuine gesture of caring that was so in the spirit of the holiday that it took my breath away. Just a simple act of kindness that made all the difference to someone who has suffered so much.

People will surprise you.

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Filed under communities, friendship, religion

Eat. Starve. Eat.

Ok, so like many of my blog friends, I vowed never to write about religion and politics. And here I am following up a political post with a religious one.

Never say never.

For those of you who are practicing Jews, right about now you are starting to get that morning rumble in the stomach. Hey, and what are you doing ready blogs and checking email on Yom Kippur? Oh right, you are Reform!

Ari Gold school of prayer?

For my non-Jewish readers, today is Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish religion. Ahh…. now you understand why there was less traffic this morning. (well, that really depends on where you live I suppose). We Jews fast for 24 hours. But first we eat like crazy. Then when we are done, we eat like crazy again.

I was thinking how ironic it was for a people who are so tied to food to have to give it up for a day to atone. Think about it. Jewish moms and chicken soup. Someone dies, bring those little white boxes of cookies to the Shiva house. Or for close friends…’who’s in charge of the food’. Someone takes ill, ‘who’s taking care of their dinners?’ Depressed… eat chocolate. Wait that last one is probably universal and somehow tied to estrogen levels.

The Christians might have a better idea: Lent. Instead of giving up everything for one day, they give up one thing for forty. Not so bad. And they don’t get headaches or go through caffeine withdrawals.

Enough nonsense. For those who are, have an easy fast. For those who are not, please have a cup of coffee and think of your poor blog friend jonesing for some joe.

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Filed under humor, religion