Category Archives: products

June 7, 2010 · 12:33 am

Cosmic Brownies?


Who knew that crazy Little Debbie would think to come up with an item like Cosmic Brownies?

There she sits in the upper left corner of the package wearing that goofy hat and the look of pure innocence while peddling wacky hallucinagenic confections.

At first I thought I read the package wrong. Could there be a brand manager out there who is so clueless they did not get what this implied? Or is the entire brand team still laughing at what they got away with?

Of course I found this as an impulse by item at a Walgreens in a college town.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, photography, products

Tagged as ,

June 1, 2010 · 10:31 pm

Tongue Cleaner

Forgot my camera today but luckily I had my phone. Not the best picture but you can still see this baby tucked in between the Canker Cover and the Humming Bird (I am not going to even ask what THAT is used for). This display was the trifecta of absurdities. Just my kind of merchandising.

I can’t imagine using this item but who could resist the tagline: your breath’s friend! With a TM no less.

Dr. Jimmy? Commentary?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, products

Tagged as , , , ,

May 21, 2010 · 7:42 pm

Egyptian Cotton Blanket is the New Mattress Cover


If you have been falling the saga of Jana’s new bed you would know that there is most probably a wanted poster hung in every linen department within 30 miles of my home. After 3 shots at a mattress cover and a nice sunny day for air drying I am happy to report the last one is on the bed and quite comfy.

Enter the navy blue egyptian cotton woven blanket. I love these. I put them on all the beds, layering them with quilts to give temperature options to my poor kids who have to live with their menopausal mom and kinda hairy dad who like to keep this house somewhere between meat freezer and wind tunnel temp.

So, I finally get the damn mattress cover on the bed, put on the yummy soft butter yellow million thread count sheets that I got a great deal on at Home Goods (they thanked me for not returning these) and floated down the navy blue woven blanket on top of them, straight out of the bag when I noticed that it smelled like – as Jana would say – ass! Seriously, it had the worst odor. AND it left all these little navy blue pills all over the pretty pale yellow sheet!

So of course I read the label and tossed that baby in the wash (on delicate with like colors) then into the dryer (on low heat). Yeh, well, the thing came out of the dryer with a million pulls in it AND there was a full puppy’s worth of navy blue lint overflowing from the trap (luckily no fire in the machine).

Yep, back to Bed Bath and Beyond with this sucker. I did contemplate wearing a nose and glasses to disguise myself at the customer service desk. But oddly there was never a question on any of these returns, even without a receipt. They just swiped my card and told me to have a lovely day.

I can’t be the only one having these problems. Can I?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, products

Tagged as , , , , ,

May 19, 2010 · 7:41 pm

The Mattress Cover Debacle

Why is it that I tend to find myself in situations that make me feel like I am living in a bad sitcom?

For those who do not know, my lovely daughter will be arriving home this Saturday after a semester abroad. She will be spending the first summer in 11 years at home – a story for another time. Since she has been gone for the better part of the past three years we never replaced the bed in her room. The very same twin bed that she has had since she got out of the junior bed when she was 5; that would be 16 years ago. It’s time, we certainly got our money’s worth.

We promised her, as she put it, a big girl’s bed before she came home. In true Amy fashion it was purchased and delivered within the last week before she arrives.

Of course I needed to get a nice fluffy cotton mattress cover and OF COURSE no self-respecting mom would put it on the bed without washing it. I mean everyone knows that the people in those factories have sex on those things before packing them (or worse) and it must be washed (with Downy) before ‘any daughter of mine will sleep on it’. Please refer back to this post about ironing her graduation gown that did not work out all that well either.

Mattress pad #1: Purchased for a song at Home Goods. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and the damn thing melted! Seems there is some skeeve guard lining under the gazillion thread count cotton that is not all that fond of dryer heat. Home Goods took it back, no problem. So much for a bargain (even if it was Ralph Lauren and the tag said tumble dry low)

Mattress pad #2: Purchased from Bed, Bath and Beyond. Brought it home, washed it, dried it and… yep, same deal. Even on low. Yes I am an idiot. At this point my dear friend Karen who had told me to air dry it confirmed my idiocy. And my new friend @squashedmom told me on twitter that i need to use the no heat setting (who knew, obviously NOT ME)

Mattress pad #3: BBB kindly let me exchange #2 saying they were surprised it melted and apologized. Seriously is this not happening to anyone else?! Ok, #3 in as many days is washed and air drying when I notice the NO HEAT setting on the dryer. Not gonna lie, popped it in there for 10. No melting but there were signs of a revolt going on around the edges so I stopped.

Yes, my domesticity is going down the toilet. And yes, I never learn.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

12 Comments

Filed under absurdities, homeowner, humor, moms, parenting, products

Tagged as , , , ,

May 13, 2010 · 6:08 pm

How did we ever live without the rice bra?

(credit: Triumph)

It seems those days of pining away to grow a little something other than what naturally sprouts in our bras have come and gone. Yes folks, those crazy kids at the Japanese lingerie company, Triumph, have come up with the solution to world hunger – the rice paddy bra.

My Tanbo Bra has cups that form a rice planter, because, well because who wouldn’t want to grow a little crop close to their bosom? Oh right, EVERYONE.

Don’t be silly, you don’t grow the rice on your body, you take it off, put the two cups together and they form a little planter. And I believe with each purchase you receive gardening gloves and belt that is a hose. A love little accessorizing!

These guys are a riot. Who knew the Japanese had such a sense of humor about foundation garments? They come up with a novelty bra every year like the golf bra (I know a few women I could by this one for – Riki, Cindy and Linda come to mind), and the solar panel bra which looks like it comes with panties too (very green!).

Ok, here is a little treat for you because who does not love a Japanese demo video. That’s right no one.

And of course in case you were wondering, this is surely MFTA approved.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

5 Comments

Filed under absurdities, gardening, humor, magnet for the absurd, products

Tagged as , , ,

May 5, 2010 · 7:30 pm

Drink No Evil?

Not if these guys can help it. I love when wine labels are clever. (remember Mommy’s Time Out)

These guys make mention of how ‘evil’ backwards is ‘live’ but I am not quite sure how turning the label upside down gives us that message.

Oh right, maybe it is subliminal.

Nonetheless I think this would make a lovely hostess gift…

and depending upon where you are eating, maybe it can be subliminal.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under carry a camera, humor, marketing, products

Tagged as , ,

April 13, 2010 · 10:28 pm

Lilly Pulitzer Animal Crackers?

I kid you not. This box is not a package comp, this is an actual box that I found at the supermarket down the block. (Uncle Guiseppes for those who live in town).

Lilly Pulitizer Edition animal crackers. Yeh, well I can see why these would be popular. You know, because little kids are heavily into designers. Especially terminally preppy designers.

I would have just taken a picture and not bought the box but they are supporting the WWF (no, not the World Wrestling Foundation, the World Wildlife Fund, but yes, it is funny that they have the same initials). And for just this reason I will stop making fun of this project  – showing quite a bit of restraint, I might add. So it appears that Lilly is working with Kraft Foods and Nabisco’s Barnum’s Animal Crackers. In honor of 2010, the Year of the Tiger, Lilly Pulitzer redesigned their box and Nabisco will donate $100,000 to support the WWF worldwide conservation efforts, include tiger conservation. (to learn more visit lillypulitzer.com and worldwildlife.org/tigers) Cool!

I told my mother-in-law about this and she asked me if the cookies were all bright colored and plaid. It had never occurred to me but I thought, wow, that would be cool. I opened the box to find that they were just ordinary animal crackers.

And then I proceeded to eat the whole damn box. (thanks Ruthie, for getting me to open it).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under charity, companies, marketing, products

Tagged as , , , , ,

April 6, 2010 · 5:09 pm

Yarmulkap. Or should it be the Yidlid?


This one comes to you from Rochelle, via her son. Thanks Ro. For those who keep asking, “Do people send you crazy stuff?” the answer would be a big fat yes. I am truly becoming the Magnet for the Absurd.

So, let’s take a look at this item. It is actually called the Yarmulkap but I am not thrilled with the name. It is one of those awkward contractions that doesn’t roll off the tongue. Now Yidlid, that has a real marketing twist, don’t you think?

This item is marketed as a combination Yamulka and a visor. For those not of the tribe the L is silent and for those really not of the tribe, this is the name for a skullcap for Jews, also known as a kippah.

Enough of the lesson in Jewish customs, I am a bit curious how the inventor of this sucker came up with this. What? A day in the park and he was wearing a baseball cap over his kippah and his head got hot? Check out this picture from the website. Love the Brooklyn Bridge. I mean, let’s face it, big concentration of observant Jews in Brooklyn, this shot could be very relatable for them, no?

Would you take a look at this for a moment and give some serious thought about how many of these will ever actually be sold? Let’s say that there are 6,489,000 in the US as of 2008 according to the US census bureau. I have to believe that there are a good chunk that don’t observe at all. Then you have Reform and Conservative, most of whom are not regular wearers of kippot (plural of kippah). Then you have to account for the kippah wearing population that will think that this item is completely RIDICUOUS because, well because it is.

So I am thinking a few hundred as gag gifts at best. What do you think?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

9 Comments

Filed under absurdities, fashion, humor, products, trends

Tagged as , , , , ,

April 2, 2010 · 10:54 pm

Corkscrew Bill and The Hillary Nutcracker

Yeh, this one is really bad. Walking down the street in Delray Beach I came across these little beauties. The poor Clintons, they will never live this down.

My favorite parts? Oh that is easy.

Bill: Warning could create Pinot Envy. Oh I laughed all the way down the street on that one.

Hill: Stainless steel thighs. Really, what more can you say about that.

I would have bought these to add to my collection of stupid items but at 19.99 a piece I simply found them too pricey.

Hey, a girl has to set limits.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, products

Tagged as , , , , , ,

March 14, 2010 · 10:17 pm

Fill in the blank

Fortunately this blog post is not intentionally blank. In fact it is filled with the nonsense inside my head and a big fat question for the brand guys at Samsung.

We just bought this super cool flat screen TV for bedroom because, well because it was Gary’s birthday and I could not bear another life cycle event with him looking longingly at the TVs everywhere we went. If you read yesterday, it was a bit of an ordeal to buy and make room for this item. It continued to be an ordeal when our main man Carlos came to install this baby and he could not find the stud. Yeh, I know, it was a present for ‘the stud’ but I can’t hang a TV off of him so we needed to find the one in the wall. Built in 1939, this house has its charms, but finding studs in plaster walls is not one of them.

I digress. While Carlos was making countless holes in my wall looking for the stud, doing a great job installing the TV, I decided to look through the QuickStart manual and familiarize myself with the TV.

Ok, that is a lie. Actually, I did not even consider looking at the manual until I was checking out the nifty swing mount on the TV that will actually allow me to get into the back of my underwear drawer in the armoire by moving out of the way (the old stationary tv blocked it) and in turn touched… SOMETHING, that knocked out the reception on the TV. Did you follow that last stream of consciousness insane sentence? Anyone out there distracted by my underwear drawer? No matter, point is we needed to figure out how to get the TV back on again so I looked at the manual. Gary, on the other hand, called Carlos and he told us how to do it.

Never mind. None of this has anything to do with what the point of this pointless post is. Looking through the guide I came upon 3 pages that said ‘This page is intentionally left blank”. Really? WTF. Why would three pages be left blank. Intentionally no less. Ok all you printer and designer types out there, we all know that a saddle stitched (fancy name for stapled) brochure has to have a multiple of 4 pages because the sheets are printed in spreads and folded in half creating 4 pages per signature. Enough of the print layout lesson. My question to the brand manager at Samsung would be:

YOU COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING TO PUT ON THOSE EXTRA 3 PAGES OTHER THAN “THIS PAGE WAS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK”?

I mean seriously, guys, a little marketing opp here maybe. Perhaps some more troubleshooting, I am sure you did not cover all the problems that I will encounter on that one page. But three blank pages? And your solution to them was to let us know that it was intentional? Yikes, I have been in the biz for a long time. I have never had a client say, “Hey, let’s intentionally leave these pages blank and then state it so we don’t look like we made a mistake. Ok, our work is done here, drinks anyone?”

Yeh, well, the TV is real nice, even if the brand guys are kind of lame.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, companies, gary, humor, marketing, products, tv

Tagged as , , , , , , ,