Sometimes you are driving down the road, you are weary from a long trip and the conversation has long since died down. Then out of nowhere a visual gift is placed before you. Sometimes your husband points it out and then actually thinks that he is not obligated to turn that damn car around and pull over so you can take the shot. (guess who won that argument).
I kid you not, my friends, no retouching here. This is not one of those funny church sign generator images. This is the real deal.
Stuck in the worst kind of traffic on the way home from the Adirondacks, we took a side route and ambled upon someone’s front lawn with this sitting on it. Talk about the mother of all lawn ornaments. This blows away the frogs and bunnies. If you don’t believe this is for real, take a drive down route 199 in Milan, NY and you will find this yourself. It is between the Rhinebeck Bridge and the Taconic State Parkway.
After a 5 hour drive one could surely use a million milligrams of Prozac.
(please note the Keep Out sign in the bottom left corner, guess that means they don’t share)
These lovely morsels came to my attention from my old friend Nina (thanks Nin). I love when people send me disgusting things to blog about. Makes me feel I have really honed my brand. You know, everyone in the blogosphere has now become ‘a brand’, guess mine is the queen of absurdities.
Back to the, um, PORK BRAINS?! People really eat these? They make Spam look like health food. Check out the circled portion of the label. 1170% cholesterol. What? I don’t get that.
Looking at the ingredients, I was rather impressed that this can is almost 100% brains. Seriously, do you know anything that is 100% brains? Would you want to? Sure there is some milk but there is less than 2% water, corn starch, salt and sodium nitrite. You know, all those pesky additives that are bad for you. Not like good wholesome BRAINS OF A FRIGGIN’ PIG.
No I did not make this up. Another famous product from my travels. Should have been in the same aisle as the Believe in God Instantly Breath Spray but it was not. Unfortunate missed opportunity in merchandising in my opinion.
Imagine this one at the breakfast table:
Morning honey, do you want butter or jam on your Jesus?
I am not sure what makes people come up with products like this. Do you think it disrespectful, evangelical or kinda cool. It’s polling time folks. For those on email, jump over to the blog online and cast your vote. For all you non commenting lurkers out there (which would be most of you) don’t worry, the voting is anonymous. This is between you and your maker, k?
Lose weight with your mate (oh jeez). Really, who wants to *flush out up to 25 pounds* in the presence of their mate.
Seriously! Nice Valentines Day celebration. Honey, we are so happy together and I want to share the relief of my constipation and bloating with you. Let’s remove deadly toxins and make beautiful music together. (use your imagination on that last one). I love the picture. Um, honey I would step away from the back of that guy and fast!
Oh, best of all it is FREE. Could that be because no one would actually pay for this.
Hmmm, shipping not included, terms may apply. What kind of terms, I shudder to speculate.
Where did this come from? I got this as an email blast. I am the target customer for this because…?
A few weeks ago I posted about the Man Bra. It was one of the many absurdities I have come across lately. At the end of that post I asked my readers to send me their best shot at the most absurd thing they have seen. I received quite a few excellent options. As promised, here are the choices. At the end of this post there will be a poll. I urge you all to vote. Why? I don’t know. Because it’s fun, maybe. If you are not the commenting type (which most of you aren’t) that is fine. But the voting is easy. C’mon, don’t be such a drag. Humor me. I mean here I am typing away every night to entertain, it’s the least you an do for me. (note to self: find out when Nana started channeling guilt through me)
Here goes:
1. Men’s Butt Lifting Underwear.
Submitted by Jamie of blonde mom blog. I guess this would be the equivalent of the push-up bra for women, right? Buy a pair of these and no more muffin top baby. You can put these suckers on and you are good to go, sans love handles!
2. Man Tries to Pay Bill With Spider Drawing
Submitted by Mel via her mom Judy. You can see the entire exchange at news9msn, but the abbreviated version is some guy claimed to not have any money and tried to pay a bill for 233.95 with the drawing below. He also claimed to be time traveling at one point as was unable to respond until he got back.
Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.
Regards, David.
3. Men In Tutus
Submitted by none other than my BBFF Liz of Flashfree. This is a runway shot from Fashion week. Notice how happy this guy is. I don’t think they are paying him enough. Can’t wait to see that page in the NYT Sunday Styles section where they show all the people on the street wearing the same styles. What is that page called? You can see all the other ridiculous styles at bestweekever.tv
4. Schwetty Balls
Submitted by my dear friend Cath who knows I could never resist a good set of Schwetty Balls. I know what you are thinking, how could I hold out all the way to number 4 for this sophomoric Amyesque choice? I love all the copy on this ad, but my absolute favorite line is “Get your hands on some Schwetty Balls this Holiday Season”. How can you resist a line like that? Feel free to jump on over to Phoenix Sports Promos and tell them I sent you. When they say ‘who?’ they will really mean, ‘oh Amy, we adore her and thank her for the referral’. (hint: if Phoenix is doing their job out there monitoring the internet like Callahead was maybe I can get a free case of these. BTW, still waiting for the BMW)
5. Poodle abuse or do you think she digs this?
This one I found from my new Twitter friend @Dana_Willhoit. Dana tweeted this link the first day I started following her. Gotta love this. Check out Creative Grooming‘s site for more great shots. Oh, I love the Ninja turtle the best because when Danny was in nursery school and they asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up he said ‘A Ninja Turtle’. Anyone with a good tip on a college with a Ninja Turtle major, please let us know as we are starting our search soon.
Ok, Now for the poll. (jeez this is a long post!) Please vote!
Just when I was starting to wrack my brain for something to write about my dear nephew sent me a link to this dlisted blog post featuring this baby.
If only I could read the headline. Anyone out there able to translate that for me? And why do they have such a western looking guy in this photo? (hate his hair BTW). Gizmodo has a nice comprehensive post up for this with all the photos. Please note that this is a premium product. And it is ‘produce’ by WishRoom. Oops, a little translation issue, dropped that final ‘d’. Wonder if the headline has any typos. Damn, anyone? Translation? PLEASE?
The bro, the mansierre, something to hold ‘moobs’. Today is the first time I heard that term. Why does that make me laugh so much? Oh, right, because I am insane.
Of course this prompted me to go hunting around to find out what competing products were out there. You know, can’t just steal a blog post concept, have to make it my own.
Here is another option, not as slick a pic and honestly, this guy… that face he is making. I find myself wishing this were a video.
I guess I have become the person that people send absurdities to. I will take that role, it works with my personality. I am trying to find my niche. Maybe that is it. The absurdity queen. Call to action, everyone who reads this post, send me the most ridiculous thing you have seen. I will run a poll later on and we can vote on the best one.
i could cry but i don't have time 