Category Archives: Uncategorized

November 29, 2008 · 9:33 pm

The upside of laundry

laundryLaundry. Never been a big fan. No matter how often you do it the pile keeps growing. Quite frankly I was never one of those moms that got off on the smell of the clean clothes. Or the neat piles when you put them away – maybe because those are non-existent in my house. 

But the upside of laundry in my house means it is a full one. My daughter (the jam master laundry maker) is home; filling a hamper in just a few days. Scary, but I love to see her clothes in the laundry. It is evidence that she is present. And there are a bunch of sheets on a half dozen aero beds tonight for the slew of boys who will roll in after midnight from a concert in the city. With any luck an equal amount of towels in the morning if they actually shower, but with 16-year-old boys that is always a crap shoot. 

A full house. I LOVE a full house. The laundry, not so much. But it is a small price to pay to have them here. A few years back it seemed like a nuisance. Now? I love nothing more.

So, all you moms who think that one more rinse cycle will put you over the edge, just remember, no laundry means they are not around. I have told many a mom who complains about their house being messy that a clean house is an empty one. 

Don’t get me wrong, it is not as if I have no life without the kids – there is always Twitter for G-d sakes – but there is something about having parented for almost 20 years that makes me really appreciate a heavy dose of it now and then.

Now if I could only teach the dog to fold…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 28, 2008 · 10:56 pm

Hmm, this hot dog tastes like mouse!

I am not sure how I missed this one but I am grateful that my nephew has become my bird dog for the absurd. 

Seems this man opened up his bag of hot dog buns and found a little feller baked right in. This video cracks me up. I love how he says, “That’s certainly noticable, some one put that into a bag, they should have seen that”…”I see his little ears, clearly that is his tail. I am not sure what that is, maybe the left part of his leg or something. But that mouse is baked in there.”

The best part is how he slides the rolls back into the bag as if he was going to use the rest of them later. 

Makes you want to start that post holiday diet right away, doesn’t it?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 27, 2008 · 11:17 pm

What I Learned this Thanksgiving

turkey

1. The vintage Chambers stove is way too fickle to cook a turkey correctly.

2. The pop up thermometer is ALWAYS wrong.

3. The overpriced William Sonoma electronic thermometer is ALWAYS right and I never believe it because for some ridiculous reason I want to trust the plastic little pop up one.

4. Two 18 lb. turkeys is too much anyway when you are serving sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, rice, stuffing (carb much?), cranberry sauce, vegie lasagna, salad, squash and string beans. And a sick amount of desserts.

5. The above menu is what happens when a jewish girl and an italian girl make a joint holiday.

6. There is ALWAYS a kid’s table no matter how old the kids are (15-23 in our case)

7. The kid’s table always seems to be having more fun than the adult’s table (note to self: sit at kid’s table next year)

8. If you stare at your daughter who is home from college too much she will start to feel like you are stalking her.

9. A little health scare before the holidays makes you appreciate not wearing a hospital wristband way more than usual.

10. There is nothing better than your husband’s best friend marrying a woman who is the best wife a girl could have.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday as much as we did.

Now where are those friggin’ sweatpants?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 25, 2008 · 9:53 pm

Spam Spam Spam, Wonderful Spam

Last week I wrote about Spam. I had a wonderful time learning all about the resurgence of this mother of all loaves. I found out that there was a Spam Museum, visited its website and Gary and I fell in love with the place. Especially the tagline, Better Than an Art Museum.

To my delight, one of my readers informed me that she and her husband had actually visited the place. Again proof that I have very giving blog friends.

I was out of my mind when she was so kind to send me the following photos. Thank you Casey Leigh for making my day and sharing your trip with us. (if you think I am not going to this place you are crazy).

Here is Casey on a statue called “Off to Slaughter” – what a lovely family place. casey_statue

Next, we have her hubby, Carl, with Spammy. Oh Carl, you are such a good sport. We could surely hang out with you. Wait, is this a statue or is there someone inside that Spammy suit?

sammy-and-husband1

Gary, when we go there can I play the ham and eggs computer game. Please, please, please!

ham-and-egg-computer-game

Family, please note the countertop around the placemat, if the background was pink that would be Nana’s kitchen counter. I LOVE when she channels!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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November 24, 2008 · 8:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Help save a life

donateSince I have begun his crazy world of blogging I have witnessed some of the most remarkable outpouring of caring I have ever experienced. Friends ask me about the ‘relationships’ I have forged here and give me that look of skepticism when I tell stories of true connection. You know that look, the yeh, right these are your ‘friends’ kind of look.  

People voice fear of stalkers and weirdos, perverts and losers. Ok, so the web has its share of these social misfits but, hello, so does the real world. Do we put ourselves at risk when we venture into social media forums like blogging, Twitter and Facebook? Sure we do. But in my estimation the benefit undeniably outweighs the risk.

We have seen acts of kindness beyond description through the tragedy suffered by the Nielson Family. An online auction spear-headed by a single post on a poplular blog, designmom.com, began the fund-raising efforts that have reached almost $250,000 since August. Team Whymommy supports a fellow mom blogger living with inflammatory breast cancer. These stories are countless and part of a future post I am planning so on to the point of this very special Time to Cry Tuesday appeal.

This one hits so close to home as my sweet daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving. We feel so grateful that she and her brother are healthy and thriving. As a parent, the experience of a child with a serious health issue is your worst nightmare. If you have lived through it on any level, you know first-hand. If you have not, it does not matter for you project and pray for the families who do. But you need not be a parent to be touched by this story.

Please join myself and countless bloggers and twitters who have stepped up to help spread the word about a family in dire need. The Domestic Diva, a blogger and mom, has sent out a plea for help. Her 15-year-old daughter is in desperate need of a kidney. Read her latest updates here. For those who hate to click the link here is the abbreviated story:

She has been moved to NY Presbyterian-Columbia University Hospital (NYP) in hopes their additional living-donor kidney programs will save her life.  Not only will NYP consider family members as donors, but are willing to evaluate EVERYONE (friends, associates and kind strangers) who wants to donate a kidney.  That’s right…EVERYONE regardless of blood type, antibody mismatch, age, etc.  

Please help spread the word. If you do not blog you can still help. Send this link to your email list, post it on your Facebook or other social network page. If you do blog, consider posting about this.

Thank you all for visiting, and having a good cry. After all, it IS Tuesday.

As an illustration of how powerful the blogosphere is, check out what my blog friends Jessica and Amy have to say. 

UPDATE 11.25.08 10PM: The Domestic Diva has informed us through Twitter tonight that the hospital has never received so many donor applications. If donor is agreeable and further testing goes well docs want to schedule transplant for the day after Christmas. The power is amazing!

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November 23, 2008 · 11:48 pm

Are Bloggers the new ‘Media’?

callaheadsite

There is much talk about bloggers being viewed, or perhaps narcissistically viewing themselves, as media. Me? I view my self as someone with an off-beat view on everyday life that keeps me entertained and helps me from not going over the edge from the stresses of life. I have long kept my friends entertained this way and started to blog to bring this warped vision to a bigger audience. (friends and family getting bored).

You can only imagine how surprised I was to find a link in my stats that brought me here. For those too lazy or not inclined to click that link, my blog post about CallAhead portable toilets has been featured on their website in the media section!

This is where I tell Gary about how bloggers get free stuff all the time when they mention people’s products. Hey, CallAhead has a better social media strategy than J&J for Motrin? Yikes, way to go potty guys! Do you guys Twitter? You can find me there @amyz5.

Gary’s response: Great, so what will we get, a free porta san on the front lawn? You couldn’t blog about BMW?

Ok, so here’s the thing. If the social media director at BMW is out there scanning blogs I just want to let you know that I am a really loyal customer and I love, love, love, my X3 and the lease is coming up soon. And Gary happens to have a really sweet 325ci convertible that is getting kind of old and we have a kid in college and another one on the way into college so car $ are tight and I would be real happy to blog all the time about your fantastic products because frankly BMW is my life and we could do a thing called extreme vehicle makeover where you drive away my old car and bring me a new one just because I happened to write about a billboard with a funny slogan on it about being #1 at picking up #2…

Alright, so maybe the CallAhead on the front lawn is a little more realistic.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, blogging, carry a camera, education, humor, humor, marketing, news, photography, products, social media, twitter

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November 22, 2008 · 6:23 pm

Do You Have Barbie Envy?

barbiethatbitch

Why do I find myself insanely jealous of whoever made this bumper sticker? I mean really, is that normal behavior?

I saw this in a parking lot and almost got hit by a car trying to take the picture. (that would be hard to explain: Well you see, officer, there was this bumper sticker that I HAD to get a shot of so I stopped while I was walking through the parking lot and did not realize that a car was coming and the rest is history. “That’s fine, really don’t worry”. And then to his partner, “call for a psych consult”)

For a change, I digress. So let’s talk Barbie for a minute. First, and foremost, we hate her because she is insanely skinny and never seems to be going to action figure Weight Watchers meetings. Nor does she age come to think of it.

Second, she has Ken and even though he does not have a penis (nor does she have nipples for that matter) they do seem to be a lovely couple and their relationship has been going on for… wait, let me Google this. Wow 43 years? But wait again, in my search there were a few references to a split. You can read about it on Bloggingscious (what kind of name is that and how do you pronounce it, is that like blogging delicious, hmmmm not working for me) and Man Behind the Doll (now there is a name to love). Whatever, it seems the breakup is way old news anyway. Give or take a few years these two have been together for a long time.

Third, she has the dream house for G-d sake. And the dream car. And all those tiny little shoes that little kids are forever getting stuck up their noses (Jana, did you do this or was that someone else?)

But, I worry about poor Barbie these days. Did she overextend herself with the mortgage on the Malibu beach house? Click that last link to find out more possible financial disasters for our dear old friend Barbie. Perhaps we should not worry, after all Poor is the New Rich! Once again, the old girl is always in fashion.

Wait, did she have a last name?

Oh yes she does! Dear Barbie has a Wikipedia page and her full name would be Barbara “Barbie” Millicent Roberts born March 9, 1959. OMG we are the same friggin’ age (yes I am that old, I just don’t act all that mature). Just in case you need to see the family tree you can see it here.

I know what you are all thinking right about now, ” what if she parked somewhere else today, what would she have written about?”

Call it fate, or emerging insanity. Me? Just thrilled to have gained all that Barbie knowledge.

Still, she probably is a bitch.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 21, 2008 · 7:17 pm

Blogaholic? Me?

Print

Uh oh. It has happened. Blogging (and twittering) have now gotten in the way of my real life. Wait, I have a real life, right? I mean my real life did not get up and pack it’s bags while I was banging the keyboard, right?

This could be a problem folks. I may need help.

Here are a few conversations that have taken place in my house lately:

Danny: mom, you are obsessed with blogs.

Me: NO I AM NOT! (the classic doth protest too much response, how cliché).

Gary: I need to say this. I think your personal hygiene has gone down the tubes since you started blogging

Me: What? Are you crazy?

Gary: Let’s see, whenever I call during the day you tell me you haven’t showered yet. The other day I came home from work and you were still in your walking clothes and did not shower till midnight.

Me: Um, in my defense I never get into bed without showering.

Gary: And you did use the sentence, “I don’t remember the last time I washed my hair” the other day.

Me: Alright. Maybe I did say that but I did not mean like it was weeks or anything.

Come to think of it my nails do look like they could be in fashion if I were a rich young thang. And perhaps the fact that I still had sweats on at 3PM AND they were on inside out could all be signs of, what shall I say, a little personal neglect of sorts.

But I have been working at home for years. And have kids for almost 20 of those years (yikes, hard to say that one outloud). I have always spent a ridiculous amount of time in my subterranean office cocoon affectionately known as the command center. I have over-volunteered and fallen victim to the sandwich generation woes many times while working full time, taking care of a family and a home and still was able to take a shower in a timely fashion.

So, what makes the blogging piece the culprit? 

Suggestions, please? I need to be rehabilitated.

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November 20, 2008 · 6:26 pm

Ahh… the Mansierre

Just when I was starting to wrack my brain for something to write about my dear nephew sent me a link to this dlisted blog post featuring this baby.

mens-bra11

If only I could read the headline. Anyone out there able to translate that for me? And why do they have such a western looking guy in this photo? (hate his hair BTW).  Gizmodo has a nice comprehensive post up for this with all the photos. Please note that this is a premium product. And it is ‘produce’ by WishRoom. Oops, a little translation issue, dropped that final ‘d’. Wonder if the headline has any typos. Damn, anyone? Translation? PLEASE?

The bro, the mansierre, something to hold ‘moobs’. Today is the first time I heard that term. Why does that make me laugh so much? Oh, right, because I am insane.

Of course this prompted me to go hunting around to find out what competing products were out there. You know, can’t just steal a blog post concept, have to make it my own.

Here is another option, not as slick a pic and honestly, this guy… that face he is making. I find myself wishing this were a video.

manbrauz5

The male support vest

I guess I have become the person that people send absurdities to. I will take that role, it works with my personality. I am trying to find my niche. Maybe that is it. The absurdity queen. Call to action, everyone who reads this post, send me the most ridiculous thing you have seen. I will run a poll later on and we can vote on the best one.

Oooo, maybe there should be a prize…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 19, 2008 · 9:15 pm

First there were tampon crafts…

snaitary-slippers

Who knew feminine hygiene products could be so crafty. For those who missed the tampon crafts post, please take a visit.

It appears I am not the only one who loved these. I received an email this week (thanks Paula) with yet another creative project idea.

The person who sent this out prefaced it with stating that Christmas was tight this year so she decided to make her gifts. Each person on her list will receive these hand made slippers. For us Jews, I suggest replacing the little ornaments with some dreidels.

Here goes (with a little commentary where I see fit):

How to Make Bedroom Slippers

You need 4 maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire.

These slippers are:

soft and hygienic (remember, these should be unused maxi pads)

have non-slip grip strips on the soles (glue strips for guys who don’t know)

built in deodorant keeps feet fresh (ew, I always hated scented)

no more bending over to mop up spills (nice feature)

disposable and biodegradable (the bio part might be a stretch)

environmentally safe (again, not sure about that).

Not bad, right? Don’t worry kids, mommy will not make you where maxi-pad slippers, as long as you make me a tampon menorah you are in the clear.

Wait, did one of you make me one of these in hebrew school years ago.

Note to self: talk to Rabbi about this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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