Category Archives: relationships

May 10, 2009 · 8:02 pm

Will you marry me? (Jordan Feil proposes to Heather Goodman in the NYT!)

Jordan-Feil-proposes-Heather-Goodman

Here is something you may not know about me. I am a rabid reader of the Sunday Styles section in the NYT. It is kind of funny for a woman who cares little about fashion and certainly does not fall into the category of a traditionalist.

But the Vows column always gets me. I love to read the stories of the featured wedding. And of course the other couplings always entertain me. ‘The bride is completing her second PhD. in clinical canine psychotherapy (the first being in neonatal brain patterning) while training for a marathon and chairing this year’s most prestigious charity event. Her husband is a hedge fund manager, brain surgeon, olympic medalist who makes jewelry in his spare time and created her engagement ring. All four of their parents are Nobel Prize winners!”

Seriously, don’t any waitresses marry any auto mechanics in New York?

Today, as I finished reading this section I came across the proposal above in the bottom right corner of the page. Yes, ladies and gents, it would appear that Jordan Feil has popped the question to Heather Goodman in the NYT today! I am on pins and needles for her reply. I googled them and so far nothing. How will I find out if she says yes? Heather, please, I beg of you, throw me a comment here.

In case you are wondering, no I have no idea who these people are. But I am a hopeless romantic and I love the whole idea of this. That is if she says yes, of course. If it is a no good old Jordan will be needing a drinking buddy.

This particular proposal gets me all misty-eyed as it falls on the eve of my wedding anniversary. Yes, ladies and gents, May 11th is the magical date that Gary agreed to put up with this crazy bee-otch, in sickness and health, till death do us part. (hoping there is no meat cleaver hiding under the bed, I have been unusually cranky lately with headaches and a sore throat – a terrible patient)

Happy Anniversary Gary! To the man who is always up for any adventure, may you never lose your love of life and spontaneous nature. You are always a good sport and ready to jump into whatever antics I ask you to partake in. Thanks for always being there (especially when there is a dead mouse in the dog food) but mostly for loving me…

no matter what.

More than life itself, baby!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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April 6, 2009 · 5:29 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Lifelong Friends

watercolor_heart

I collect people.

Seriously. I have people in my life for decades. I always thought this was common, as my husband does too, but I have come to realize that most people are not fortunate enough to have friends in their lives that they have known since they were young.

Me? I still have my best friends from 7th grade. Three of them. I was late to the party as they have known each other since kindergarten. They are the place I go when the world is too much. Or when I want to laugh to the point of tears.

I can be 16 with them, when being 16 is completely out of the question because 4 of our collective 8 kids is older than that already. They will never tell me what I want to hear, but they will surely tell me what I need to.

There are code words and phrases that we share like a secret language – or twinspeak. Our own intimictionary of vocab that would have an outsider shaking their head trying to figure out what we are talking about.

Months can go by with little contact, no more than a passing “I would freak but i don’t have time” kind of conversation. But still our love for each other is undying.

The decades pass. We fall, we get up, we live to the point of tears and then we trudge on thinking that if we have to live one more day of this crazy life we will surely scream. Then we stop and spend some precious time together. And laugh so hard we forgot that was possible.

That is when I realize I am the luckiest person on earth. Not one but three! Each of whom would drop everything at a moment’s notice to be THERE. Wherever and whatever THERE is. And believe me, THERE wears many costumes.

Three words for you girls:

Love. Love. Love.

(and no Ali, we did not have any fun without you this weekend ; )

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 27, 2009 · 7:50 pm

She bit her tongue?

bite_tongue_bird

Conversation with my mom tonight:

Mom: I spoke with so-and-so today.

Me: That’s nice, you haven’t heard from her in awhile.

Mom: No, we have been talking a lot lately. She is a bit lonely. She doesn’t have many friends her age anymore that she can talk to.

Me: She NEVER had any friends, of any age.

Dad: (in the background) She NEVER had any friends. (Dad and I think alike, we are both evil to my mom’s sweetness)

Mom: Behave, the both of you. It was a nice conversation. She bit her tongue.

Me: Really? I am so surprised, she was never one to not say what was on her mind.

Mom: No, she actually BIT HER TONGUE. It was bleeding and everything!

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 23, 2009 · 11:32 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sitting Shiksa

sitting-shiksa2No, there is not a typo in that headline. Keep reading and you will see what I mean.

This past week one of my dearest friends – my wife of sorts –  lost her dad. She and I are known somewhat as the Lucy and Ethel of our community. Our antics are legendary (in our minds, anyway). The following is an adaptation of an email that I sent to our friends:

After a long period of compromised health, my friend’s dad cried uncle and died peacefully. Unfortunately, she was away on vacation with her daughter and had to return quickly to make arrangements. As you can imagine this has been a very difficult time for her. But I am happy to report her sense of humor and love of life is fully intact. Read on.

She will be going to Arizona for a first memorial service on Sunday and then to Boston on March 3rd where she and her brother will have his ashes buried next to her mom, hopefully in an ‘uneventful’ ceremony. Not a chance! (note: as with all families there is the predicted drama that is hard to avoid)

As her life is here in NY now, we know that there are many that want to pay their respects to her since she is always there for everyone else. Only our dear friend, in her grief, could call me this morning with this novel and frankly hysterical request. Let me share our conversation:

Friend: Hi, it’s me again. I decided you are right and I need to do something here.

Me: That’s great, what did you have in mind?

Friend: I think I would like to ‘Sit Shiksa’!

Me: That could be the funniest thing I have ever heard.

Friend: Oh and tell people to forget the boxes of cake, bring wine and have a drink with me to celebrate my dad’s life.

For those who are not ‘of the tribe’, when someone dies in the Jewish religion we sit Shiva. Shiva meaning ‘seven’ in Hebrew, we receive guests in our home to pay their respects for 7(ish) days. (it’s complicated)

Figuring that 7 days of guests would surely put her husband in a psych unit, sitting Shiksa will be an afternoon ordeal. Shiksa, on the other hand, means ‘woman who is not a Jew’. Of course we all know that our friend is a Jew by association by now as she has been to more Bar Mitzvot and Shiva calls than most Jews by birth.

Please join their family, not to mourn, but celebrate the life of the man who fathered our dear friend. One hell of a guy and a man who always loved a good party. He will surely be there with us.

If you have friends of mixed marriages, or live in a diverse community, pass this on. There are few that hear it who cannot relate.

Here is to my dear friend, who can truly make lemonade out of ANY situation in life. And who always keeps me laughing, even through her tears. When she married our dear friend, she married us too. And she has been a hell of a good sport about it for the past 20 years. We love you babe. May your grieving be cathartic and know we will love you forever.

Sitting on my desk is a framed piece you gave me years ago:

Friends are the family you choose.

I choose you!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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February 18, 2009 · 8:46 pm

What Movie Was That?

The following is a direct transcription of  a story Jana told me today on Blackberry Messenger. 

Jana: OMG, the funniest thing happened this morning!

Me: What?

Jana: This morning someone said to Hannah ” your presentation is today. Are you nervous?” And Hannah goes, “nervous?”

So I am sitting there for a second thinking and I start laughing and everyone’s like what are you laughing at?

I was trying to think of what movie that was from where the person repeated the last word of the question someone asked them and then I’m like, “Oh wait, that’s not a movie, that’s my parents!” (we need to work on the *like* thing)

Hahahah.

Me: Hahahaha (seriously I could not stop laughing because that is SO us! Guess which one I am?)

Jana: Everyone thought it was so funny.

Me: May need to use this as a blog post.

Jana: I approve.

And there you have it kids. The joys of living in my house.

Oh, and one last shameless plug for her Dance Marathon fundraising. She has reached 95% of her goal, anyone who would be gracious enough to tip her over the top would make her day. Here is her donation page.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 9, 2009 · 11:14 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – A remarkable story

This Time to Cry Tuesday finds me retelling a story that I heard last week. I was at a photo shoot, working with this group for the first time. It was one of those perfect work days where all the planning worked out, the team was incredibly talented and they were all truly warm interesting people.

We broke for lunch and were chatting about this and that, when the prop stylist shared this story with us. She had heard it, of all places, from the Russian women where she gets her facials!

The story begins with a couple planning their wedding. There was a dinner for the extended families to meet. The grandmother of the bride and the grandfather of the groom were both Holocaust survivors. They got to talking and each discovered that the other was a survivor. They talked about carrying the tattoos of the camps throughout their lives as a reminder. The woman states her number and then the man recites his.

She stops cold.

“That could not possibly be your number”, she said.

“Of course it is my number, how could I make a mistake about something that I see everyday of my life. Why would you say it was not my number?” he replied.

“Because…” , she begins, “THAT was my husband’s number and I lost him in the camps.”

The room becomes silent as the two realize that after all these years – having survived, moved to the states, married others thinking that each had perished, built families and lives – they are reunited.

Some story, right?

As the stylist told the story she began to tear up. As did I. And everyone else in the room. In this work environment we all shared this unbelievable moment. We came to the conclusion that in the big picture of life these two had lost each other so long ago because their grandchildren-to-be were meant…

to be.

I love a good story of fatalism.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 26, 2009 · 11:38 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – An Icon

Sorry, third time in as many weeks that I am posting about loss. However, this one is quite different.

Sunday I had the pleasure (yes pleasure!) of attending a memorial service for someone who helped shape the woman I am today.  Actually, not just me, but hundreds of women through the 60s and 70s. This woman, Alice Sternin, was the director of the summer camp I attended. I have posted about this idyllic place from my childhood before, as both my children are fortunate enough to share in the legacy.

I have never attended a service where there was as much laughter as tears. The essence of this woman was described by countless speakers. Everyone in the room shared the same memories of this tiny woman who was larger than life.

People traveled from all over the country. Family and friends spoke. One after another, stories were shared that sparked long forgotten memories for each one of us . When her famous lines were quoted, the entire room joined  in unison. Treasured camp songs were sung and tears were shed for the loss, not just of this woman, but the childhood jewel this perfect place had been for all of us.

My daughter has had the good fortune to have had this same experience. The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Jana and her girls at the end of their last summer as campers. This sums up what this woman built. And her legacy will carry on long after she is gone.

You are so very lucky to have this piece of your life. Camp is something that you cannot put a label on. There are no words to describe how you feel when you are with your girls. How the sight of the lake and mountains fill your heart in a way that nothing else in this world truly can. The essence of camp is ingrained in each and every one of you. It is part of what makes you who you are, and believe me, who you will always be. We are all beyond lucky to know these feelings.

Leaving is never easy.  All these years later I still tear up as I walk out of camp and drink in one last moment of the place I love so much.

Never, NEVER, take this place for granted. Hold it close and it will never let you down.  

Today, as I sat with MY girls so many years later, I felt the full weight of those words.

Here’s to you Big Al! The toughest camp director in the East. With the biggest heart! You will be dearly missed, but rest easy, your legacy will never die.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 19, 2009 · 11:32 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sadness and Hope

Today marks a bittersweet Time to Cry Tuesday installment. The excitement and sentiment of hope surrounding the inauguration is tempered with sadness for our family. Must be some bizarre alignment of the stars that I should be writing of loss for a second Tuesday in a row.

This past week we lost a beloved family member. She was a woman who always looked you in the eye when you spoke. Hell, even when you were on the phone. Her infectious laugh and high spirit, even in the face of hardship, left us in awe of how she navigated a less than perfect life.

I believe that each person leaves a mark on this earth when they leave. Along with the great void that remains in her absence resides the essence of her special brand of optimism. Her wild sense of humor and ability to draw people together is carried on through the grown son she leaves behind. His home is filled with love, many friends and lots of children! They will carry on her memory with stories of the impact she made on their lives. And they can move forward with the comfort of knowing they were the light of her life.

I am pretty sure that wherever she is, they read blogs. And if she happens to read this I am sure she would say something to the effect of, ‘Who the F was she talking about?’

Once a jokester, always a jokester.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 27, 2008 · 11:39 pm

Maybe she was just hungry

hunger

I ran out to the market tonight to pick up a few things at an odd hour, 5:00 on a Saturday. And there she was, this magnificent mom with two equally beautiful children. They were all really breathtaking. She looked oddly familiar in a movie star sort of way but I doubt it. Just another well-healed North Shore Long Island women over-dressed for the supermarket.

But here’s the thing, she was a total bitch to her kids. Believe me, I have seen kids misbehave in a supermarket, sometimes even those of my loins. These two kids were not acting out, maybe being a little ‘overly helpful’ but certainly not worthy of reprimand. But the skinny bitch pretty mom? She did not have a shred of patience for them. To the point were she sent the little boy out to the parking lot to wait for them. (nice judgement, no?)

So here is what I am thinking:

Maybe she was just hungry.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 1, 2008 · 8:24 pm

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (vol. 2)

I have written about this topic before. You can read it here.

I have always been fascinated by the different way men and women perceive things. This morning I woke up agitated from a disturbing dream. Oddly enough, so did Gary. I assume these trying times are getting to both of us.

He has often placed a request for me not to share my dreams (they scare him). Today I did not give him a chance to reject the story, he was still half asleep and emerging from his own bad dream.

Mine? He was forcing me to move to Florida and we were driving down with all our stuff. Then we were in this awful cookie cutter house with all these boxes and strange people we did not know. He was telling me that he was going to change his career, sell windows and I was a bitch for not supporting him. I was sobbing uncontrollably saying that I hate Florida (sorry Floridians, I like to visit).

His? Oh his dream was that 25% of the earth split off and was careening into space. Alrighty then, a science fiction dream.

I laughed and said this would make a perfect blog post.

Gary: You can’t do that, people will think you are crazy.

Me: Wait, you had a dream about a quarter of the earth splitting off and careening through space and you think people will consider me crazy for dreaming about a forced move to Florida?

And there you have it.

Later he said that he was on one piece of the earth and I was on the other. All I could think of was that the only way his subconscious could figure out how to get rid of me was by destroying the planet.

Kinda scary if you ask me. Note to self: sleep with one eye open.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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