Category Archives: magnet for the absurd

May 6, 2011 · 7:50 pm

Cat Hairball Jewelry… file this under Ewwwww!

I kid you not on this one. Thanks to my fabulous friend Tony O, I now know about jewelry made from the fur that your cat sheds. Today he linked to this post on ecouterre. The long and short (hair) of it is that Kate Benjamin of Moderncat  felt the need to mark the celebration of National Hairball Awareness Day (who makes these awareness days up, anyway?) and commissioned the wildly talented jewelry designer and friend, Heidi Abramason to make her some pretty cool looking stuff from… you guessed it, her cat’s hairballs.

Ok… Ewwww.

In case you did not read this post, I wrote about someone who made jewelry out of human hair so I guess this is not so far-fetched. (how does this stuff find me?)

Wait, can we get back to National Hairball Awareness Day? Is there a reason we need to be made aware of hairballs? Are they not glaringly obvious to cat owners and who the hell cares to the rest of us?

And the cat in this picture? Anyone else getting a major heebie jeebie from this kitty?

Just a tip, don’t buy me this jewelry for Mother’s Day if you were running out to do so… very allergic to cats. Oh, and vile things too. Those I am highly allergic to.

But for all you cat people out there (and you know who you are)… Heidi takes commissions.

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March 29, 2011 · 11:02 pm

Water Station

This photo was sent to me from someone who spotted it in, of all odd places, a VA cemetery in Florida.

I might be at a loss for words on this one, except but to give it the seal of MFTA approval.

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March 22, 2011 · 9:17 pm

Prevent ‘Clogs’

It would appear that one of the perks of being friends with The Magnet For The Absurd (MFTA) is that eventually absurdities start to present themselves to you. This wonderful image comes from  Susan, who has sent me countless absurdities by phone, for my sheer entertainment and wonder. Sue, I believe you have left apprentice stage and have earned the title of Partner of Absurdity (POA).

Perhaps you need a logo…

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December 17, 2010 · 11:36 pm

Window Warriors

Little green army men; will they ever go out of fashion. You buy them in a bag of dozens and they keep little boys busy for hours.

Sad but true.

This was a bizarre scene in a drug store window that I took a while back. I am not clear why a NYC retail establishment would dedicate this much window space to such a low cost item. Unless of course this was a show of patriotism and had nothing to do with merchandising.

Whenever I see these plastic figures. all I can think about is a childhood story of Gary’s where he bit off all the heads of the army men. Not clear on the motive.

Perhaps it was a political statement (unlikely).

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December 15, 2010 · 11:15 pm

Magnet for the Absurd

Doorbell rings. Dog barks. UPS man drives away. And there on my front stoop is a big old box from Cafepress.com.

Hmmm, what can this be? I open it up and there are 16 neatly wrapped identical square packages. I open the first one and there it is… the perfect MFTA mug.

Thanks to (uncle) Neal, who not only named me the MFTA but is not under any circumstances my uncle – and I still have no idea why we call him that. But he is surely as much my family as anyone who carries my bloodline. And knows me better than most.

The best part of this story is poor Neal had shoulder surgery last week and under the influence of some pretty crazy prescription drugs did not realize that instead of ordering 4 mugs he was ordering 4 sets of 4 mugs. I am thinking of planning an absurdity brunch. Imagine the criteria for an invitation!

Once again… I am the magnet for the absurd.

Thanks Neal, for the mugs, and for truly appreciating the finer points of my insanity. Love you, man.

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December 7, 2010 · 10:58 pm

Those Crazy Sconnies

Having two kids in Wisconsin I am always on the lookout for interesting Wisco news. I was scrolling through twitter tonight looking for blog fodder and @tsand did not disappoint. I can always count on him to point out the more outrageous things going on in the world. Certainly in Wisconsin!

It seems a 57-year-old woman bit her 79-year-old husband’s tongue off during a kiss, then went outside to sing Christmas carols and blow a New Year’s horn. Fa-la-ooo-la-la! This babe is one wacky Sconnie!

She is being charged with felony mayhem. Felony Mayhem?! WTF, I love that charge. I want to know what other sort of thing falls into that category. Ok, so I could not resist a little googling around for the definition. Here is my favorite definition from The Free Dictionary:

Noun 1. mayhem – the willful and unlawful infliction of injury upon a person, esp (formerly) the injuring or removing of a limb rendering him less capable of defending himself against attack. Crippling, disfigurement, or mutilation of another.

Certainly incapable of defending himself in an argument at this point. Poor guy.

The victim said his wife had been acting strangely in recent days.

Ya think!!

I am still wondering how he could tell them that without his tongue.

Just another Bobbit-esque crime of passion, I suppose. Only milder. Lest we not forget this other famous Sconnie story where the scorned wife Crazy Glued her hubby’s member to his stomach. Do you think she was acting strange the few days before that?

Can’t make this stuff up.

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December 1, 2010 · 8:08 pm

ROTNKID

Every once in awhile I come across a license plate that makes me wonder what kind of person would actually choose to have that on their car.

This is one of them. ROTNKID. So pal, your whole life your parents told you that you were a rotten kid so you decided you might as well let everyone else know it. Will it give you an automatic excuse for being a dick on the road?

Can you imagine someone coming to pick you up on a date with this plate? Or worse, one of your kids.

Now if this were a modern age parental plate it would say ROTNBEHAVIOR, because everyone knows you don’t tell your kid they are rotten. That would scar them for life. And maybe cause them to emblazon it on their license plate when they grow up.

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November 30, 2010 · 10:41 pm

Monkey Feet

Can you pick up a beer bottle with your toes? No? Well then you do not have monkey feet.

My son, on the other hand, was able to pick up that bottle with his lengthy digits with great ease. (no, he could not bring the bottle to his lips, that would make him double jointed).

Please do not underestimate this great talent. At the very least I am sure he is eligible for Letterman’s Stupid Human Tricks. Like all idiotic parents of our generation, we like to encourage what makes our children unique. You know, ‘we all have talents…blah, blah, blah’. I am surprised he was not trophied for this as a young boy.

It is amazing how long those toes are. His big toe actually looks like my thumb! It is uncanny.

Moral of the story: never dare an 18-year-old to do anything; chances are he will find a way to do it.

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June 18, 2010 · 7:22 pm

The ‘girls’ in their summer clothes…

Like This!

Do you think this is what Springsteen had in mind when he wrote this song?

I am not gonna lie, I chased this guy down from 7th Avenue and 23rd Street to Broadway and 21st before I got this perfect shot. Yes, I am worried about the fact that I have become a bit of a stalker. But so far I have not gotten caught.

I always wonder what possesses people to put clothing on dogs. I sort of get the little coats and sweaters, maybe even the little orange socks to keep their feet clean if you are predisposed to OCD.

But a blue gingham sundress?!

MFTA material for sure!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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