Category Archives: humor

March 11, 2009 · 6:28 pm

What’s the poop on this restaurant?

modern_toiletAhh… to eat or pee, that is the question!

There is a new restaurant chain in Taiwan called Modern Toilet! And the theme would be? You guessed it, bathroom gourmet. I first read about this in Time and had to do a little exploring.

Now here is concept that my extended family would surely embrace. When we all get together it is inevitable that the conversation will go the way of defecation. My brother has amazed my kids more than once with stories of his bathroom feats. And my nephew, I believe there was once a comparison to the titanic.

toilet_sushiThis place is wild. You sit on ‘the can’ at glass top tables with sinks beneath them. Food is served in mini toilets bowls, drinks come in urinals and the soft serve ice cream? Um, kinda doodylike.

I would imagine there would be families that would be turned off by such a crass place. Us? Almost worth a trip to Taiwan in my book.

My favorite part would be the home page on the website. There is a picture of this cute little blue mouse on a piece of cheese with the words ‘shit or food’ in a bubble over his head. Hmmm, intriguing thought

Seriously, aren’t you just a little bit curious about eating here?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 1, 2009 · 9:35 pm

UW Chi O Toddler Dance 2.0

For those who do not know the origin of the ever famous international dance craze known as ‘The Toddler Dance’, please take a little hop over to this post and see where it all started.

Since this a true favorite of my daughter’s, she decided to bring it to the girls of the Chi Omega sorority at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. This past weekend the university took part in its first ever dance marathon to benefit UW American Family Children’s Hospital. Miss Jana personally raised $772, her sorority raised $6,000 ($4,000 over their goal) and UW raised a total of $56,880.94.  Although this does not even compare to the millions of dollars raised at Penn State or Indiana, their total is still very impressive. They were able to raise more money in their first year of Dance Marathon than any other Big 10 schools raised in their first year, exceeding them by at least $20,000. For those inclined I believe donations are still open.

At the last hour of this all-night event, without any sleep and having not sat down for the entire danceathon, this group of Jana’s sorority sisters decided to end their stint with a rousing rendition of the Toddler Dance. Here’s a shout out to my dear friend @flipgonzo , the funniest clown on twitter, who named this…

The Toddler Dance 2.0.

Thanks girls. You did our family proud!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 1, 2009 · 12:06 am

Feeling a bit pig-headed?

pork-brains-milk-gravy

These lovely morsels came to my attention from my old friend Nina (thanks Nin). I love when people send me disgusting things to blog about. Makes me feel I have really honed my brand. You know, everyone in the blogosphere has now become ‘a brand’, guess mine is the queen of absurdities.

Back to the, um, PORK BRAINS?! People really eat these? They make Spam look like health food. Check out the circled portion of the label. 1170% cholesterol. What? I don’t get that.

Looking at the ingredients, I was rather impressed that this can is almost 100% brains. Seriously, do you know anything that is 100% brains? Would you want to? Sure there is some milk but there is less than 2% water, corn starch, salt and sodium nitrite. You know, all those pesky additives that are bad for you. Not like good wholesome BRAINS OF A FRIGGIN’ PIG.

Oy, eating these can’t be ‘kosher’!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 27, 2009 · 7:50 pm

She bit her tongue?

bite_tongue_bird

Conversation with my mom tonight:

Mom: I spoke with so-and-so today.

Me: That’s nice, you haven’t heard from her in awhile.

Mom: No, we have been talking a lot lately. She is a bit lonely. She doesn’t have many friends her age anymore that she can talk to.

Me: She NEVER had any friends, of any age.

Dad: (in the background) She NEVER had any friends. (Dad and I think alike, we are both evil to my mom’s sweetness)

Mom: Behave, the both of you. It was a nice conversation. She bit her tongue.

Me: Really? I am so surprised, she was never one to not say what was on her mind.

Mom: No, she actually BIT HER TONGUE. It was bleeding and everything!

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 24, 2009 · 11:02 pm

Jesus Toast Tattoo

toast_tatoo

No I did not make this up. Another famous product from my travels. Should have been in the same aisle as the Believe in God Instantly Breath Spray but it was not. Unfortunate missed opportunity in merchandising in my opinion.

Imagine this one at the breakfast table:

Morning honey, do you want butter or jam on your Jesus?

I am not sure what makes people come up with products like this. Do you think it disrespectful, evangelical or kinda cool. It’s polling time folks. For those on email, jump over to the blog online and cast your vote. For all you non commenting lurkers out there (which would be most of you) don’t worry, the voting is anonymous. This is between you and your maker, k?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 20, 2009 · 6:42 pm

OCD Action Figure

ocd_actionfigure

I know what you are thinking, ‘where does she FIND this stuff?’ You know, I think it just finds me. Once again let me disclaimer this post with the fact that some of my best friends and family members are leaning towards the obsessive compulsive direction.

If you remember awhile back I came across the famous Albert Einstein Action Figure. I loved that one. These items are starting to clutter my office. Perhaps I need my twitter friend @erdoland from unclutter.com to come in and organize all my toys. Erin, you might like this item!

Take a look at this baby. The accessories are the best part. Who would not love to carry an Obsessive-Compulsive Sanitary, Hypoallergenic Moist (not dry) Towelette in their bag?

On the back of this package there is a list of famous obsessive compulsives. I will disclaimer as I did not fact check and am only writing what is on the package:

Howard Hughes (no surprise)

Charles Dickens (please sir, i want some more moist towelettes)

Mark Summers (Double Dare host, that is pretty funny)

Hans Christian Anderson (hmmm, wikepedia mentions his bisexuality but not the OCD piece)

Florence Nightingale (I think OCD is a good quality for a nurse)

Woody Allen (oh right, that this one is a shock)

Charles Darwin (did he line up the apes or did he not?)

There is also a list of questions and a rating system to decide if you are an obsessive compulsive.

I am not. But I am surely a psycho.

Have a great weekend all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 17, 2009 · 7:33 pm

Taxicab Confessions Revisited or Putting the Social in Social Media

taxi

A quick aside, sorry for no Time to Cry Tuesday this week… had not time (to cry).

Back in October we had this wild experience in a cab with a driver who claimed to be Doug Ingle from Iron Butterfly. Go ahead and read that link, I will wait.

Ok, so a couple of weeks ago I received a comment on that post from someone named Ryan who said that their dad had the same experience. Small internet.

Today, I did my usual afternoon stat check (that is what we bloggers do to validate ourselves now and then) and I saw that there was an inordinate amount of hits on that very post. Linking to the source I was led here where sure enough there are others with the same story, and my post was linked about halfway down.

So this guy tells this story all the time. Maybe all of us that have been in his cab need a Facebook group. Or not.

Seriously, this is one of the greatest things about blogging. The internet gets smaller everyday. Things come full circle and people find others who have had the same experiences.

The social in social media.

On that note I will let you all know that this weekend I was lucky enough to meet two of my original blog friends, or as my family likes to refer to them, my imaginary friends. Shouting out to Wendy and Liz, who I am pretty sure I could have gone to summer camp with in another life. These are two women I am proud to say I am now REAL friends with. Or friends IRL (in real life) as they say in the blogosphere. For those who are fearful of meeting people online I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, neither one of them is a psycho OR a creep.

Oh, and we are not dating for those who think that is the only reason to meet people online.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 15, 2009 · 10:01 pm

And the Pigs Get Slaughtered

bacon_wallet

Oh how I love the ‘Deluxe’ Bacon Wallet. I am only sorry I did not purchase this for my brother the vegetarian.

Designed for those who bring home the bacon, this realistic looking item could only be improved upon if it were scratch and sniff.I guess that would have you being followed by all the dogs in the neighborhood.

I wonder if there is a meatloaf version?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 14, 2009 · 6:00 pm

Someone at Penn State Loves Me

penn_state

Ah, college touring. What parent does not love the idea of a few days of quality time alone with their kid? The kid, not so much. But this guy is a good sport. Like his sister before him, he humors my crazy ass with my binders, schedules and printed out directions and sits back for the ride trying his best to soak in the experience.

Being that this is the second time around I have found the best defense for boredom is to keep them laughing and to point out the absurd whenever possible.

This crazy blue haired beauty was in the window of one of the best college town shops I have seen in a long time, Peoples Nation, State College, PA. (you can look forward to many a blog post surrounding pictures I took in here). I particularly like the choice of shirt on this maniac-quin. This image is what freshman parents’ nightmares are made from.

I will be posting about the full college  touring experience over at 50-something mom blog soon. I will let you know when that is up.

For know, i could cry will be featuring the best of what makes my family laugh. Welcome to our world.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Next stop, Maryland.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 12, 2009 · 8:56 pm

Colon Medic?!

cm1

Colon Medic? Ew. Ew. Ew!!

Lose weight with your mate (oh jeez). Really, who wants to *flush out up to 25 pounds* in the presence of their mate.

Seriously! Nice Valentines Day celebration. Honey, we are so happy together and I want to share the relief of my constipation and bloating with you. Let’s remove deadly toxins and make beautiful music together. (use your imagination on that last one). I love the picture. Um, honey I would step away from the back of that guy and fast!

Oh, best of all it is FREE. Could that be because no one would actually pay for this.

Hmmm, shipping not included, terms may apply. What kind of terms, I shudder to speculate.

Where did this come from? I got this as an email blast. I am the target customer for this because…?

Alternate product name: Tusch Dr.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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