Category Archives: carry a camera

February 28, 2010 · 9:31 pm

The Perfect Husband

I know, you all saw that title and thought, “How sweet, she is going to praise the virtues of her sweet Gary of Hey Nanny Nanny and Janie Knight fame.” Well, of course he is the perfect husband, but this post is not about him.

For those who have been following along, my daughter Jana is doing a semester abroad. That is college-speak for I will tolerate a few hours a week of class so I can be in a different city (sometimes two) every weekend. This weekend found her in Amsterdam, with a side trip to Brussels. When she is traveling I usually wake up to a BBM (blackberry messenger message – it’s like a text for you non-crackberry heads). This morning I found this photo with no message. It was hard to read on my bberry so I had to email it to myself to see what it was.

If there was any doubt that I was genetically linked to this girl you will now understand that I would have to be her mother. Ahhh, the Inflatable Perfect Husband. This must be the 20-year-old version of the Grow Your Own Parents that I bought her in middle school when we were getting on her last nerve. I particularly like the french word for inflatable… gonflable. How do you pronounce that? Anyone? I took Spanish so it is lost on me but I love the way it looks.

I shudder to think what the Inflatable Perfect Wife has behind her back.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 18, 2010 · 9:51 pm

Girls, what?

Danny and I were behind this car the other day and could not agree on what it meant.

I think it meant Girls 24/7, perhaps with a pimp driving. Or maybe a Tiger Woods type.

But Danny? He thought it meant Girls 2,4 and 7. As if this was a mom’s car and she had three daughters that were 2, 4 and 7.

Now, does anyone else find it concerning that the mom thinks pimpmobile and the 17-year-old boy thinks mom-mobile?

I will put this out to the crowd. Please vote on this and help end the discussion.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 17, 2010 · 7:40 pm

Honey, does this potato make my butt look fat?

No, folks, no Photoshop miracle here. This baby came right out of the bin at the supermarket we affectionately call Stinky Farms (for the way it used to smell when I was pregnant, before they renovated).

I always find it uncanny when I find body part vegetables. This is not the first time I have blogged about them. Who could forget my friend Katie’s rather impressive cucumber from fire island? (All the other vegetables were jealous Vol. 1) or the rather impressive horse radish during Passover (vol 2)? And then of course there is Gary’s hidden talent for peeling an orange into an ‘elephant’ (cough, cough, yeh right)

But this one? This one is almost freakish in its resemblance to a perfect little baby’s butt.

Yeh, I know, you all wish you could go food shopping with me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, carry a camera, gardening, gary, holidays, humor

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February 16, 2010 · 9:44 pm

Taking the Gold in Snow Shoveling

4:30 AM Wake up to snow… again (damn)

5:30 AM Still snowing, thinking about shoveling. (damn, again)

7:30 AM Drag our asses out of bed and think, “We are so over snow!” (except for Mel, she loves the stuff)

Until…

I walked outside and saw how breathtakingly beautiful everything was. And even more beautiful was the sight of Gary in that red jacket halfway through the job!

I love this shot. If not for the signage and his jacket the whole world was black and white. We had just finished our annex shoveling job – our 88-year-old neighbor who I swear is going to propose to Gary if he shovels there one more time. That Danny, he went and had all 4 wisdoms pulled just so he would not have to shovel again!

There has been talk of a snow-blower, but then how would we go for the gold?

Is it almost spring yet?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 31, 2010 · 10:37 pm

Amy’s Pre-Grammy Day

In celebration of the Grammy’s, or perhaps because it was the last day of the exhibit and my sweet sister-in-law made sure that I would not miss something so wonderful before it was over, we went to the Brooklyn Musuem’s “Who Shot Rock & Roll” this afternoon.

I will tell you all that I am sorry the show closed today because anyone who is a true fan should be sorry that they missed this gem. (Dr. Jimmy, we missed you!) Along with some of the most memorable images of the past 50 years in rock and roll, the exhibit was peppered with treats such as a full wall of a lenticular Jimi Hendrix (this is the process like the old wink buttons where the image changes when you move around it) , Jerry Garcia and Mountain Girl, and a mosh pit shot that defied reality. Also, not to give Jimi too much weight, but there was a series of him burning his guitar at Monterey Pop that I really wanted to slip in my bag on the way out. Amongst the iconic shots like Bob Gruen’s John Lennon  in the NY T-shirt and images from rock photography greats like Danny Clinch and one of the world’s greatest photography talents, Richard Avedon, the show was more about the not so famous photographers. The men and women who never achieved great fame but shot those who did. I found their stories the most interesting.

As if this pre-Grammy day was not perfect enough, I drove home in time to hear Bob Dylan’s Theme Radio Show on XM and tonight’s theme was New York. Although I did not get to hear the whole show I did hear this: Duke Ellingtons, Take the A Train into Funky Broadway, not by Wilson Picket but Dyke & the Blazers, into a wonderful reading by Bob of Emma Lazurus’ The New Colossus (you know: Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yadayadyada) into Lou Reed’s Dirty Blvd that parody’s that work. (Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I’ll piss on ’em
that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says. Your poor huddled masses, let’s club ’em to death and get it over with and just dump ’em on the boulevard.) Not gonna lie, had that one cranked up to window rattling levels. Always been a sucker for Lou Reed.

All in all, I go to bed tonight a happy camper. Sometimes the week beats the crap out of us. If we can rejuice with what we love on the weekend we wake up Monday with a better attitude and the skill set to try again.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 17, 2010 · 10:07 pm

Did you call me a Hotard?!

Situation: The family riding on the downtown streetcar in New Orleans. Me, chattering away about how much I love the architecture and similar thoughts on how interesting the city is.

Jana: Hotard!

Me: What?!! Did you just call me a hotard?

Jana: What? What the heck is a hotard? I was just reading the name on the back of that bus in front of us.

Me: Oh, sorry, I thought that was another one of those words you guys make up. Like the camp language.

Jana: Oh, jeez!

So then we got to talk about what a hotard would be and how it was wrong on so many levels. Think about it. Break that baby down. ‘ho. ‘tard. Both, SO not ok.

Hey, you can’t blame me for thinking this was another one of those slang words my kids seem to know the meaning of and are always trying to explain to me. Like just the other day they spent all sorts of time explaining to me what a meep was.

Now if only I wasn’t such a hotard I might remember what they said.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 8, 2009 · 9:11 pm

Student Bus Driver

I should not be surprised that there are student bus drivers. I mean, I don’t think they just jump onto the bus and know how to drive it. And I suppose that part of the bus drivers’ ed would have to include driving on Route 80 west in NJ and learning how to maneuver the GW Bridge. But does it have to be while I am on the road?

Note the double yield signs on the left side. Not sure what they say but I would imagine one says ‘Yield’ and the other one says ‘Seriously, we are not kidding YIELD!

I guess I should have one of these on the back of my car if I am going to continue to take these shots while I am driving.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 2, 2009 · 9:36 pm

What to get those ‘difficult’ people on your list

Oh please forgive me this post, but I could not help myself. A quick stop into Urban Outfitters today (no Jana this had NOTHING to do with your Hannukah gifts) and I came across these on the sale table. (can’t image why they were not a sell out).


I am only sorry I did not buy the whole lot of them.

The fact that they sell these does not surprise me. Keep in mind their demographic. And they sell a fart book with sound for goodness sake.

So, if there is a douche bag or two in your life (Ronni, I am thinking you might want to buy a set for that next PTA meeting) or an asshole you just can’t avoid having to buy a gift for, these would come in mighty handy.

I particularly like the design of the asshole plates, that diminishing spiral ending in what suggests to be the asshole of the plate is simply perfect. I am just a little stumped trying to figure out what you could serve on these.

I really think I need to go back and buy them…

Oh, and if you were thinking there is something wrong with your screen, no worries, it is in fact snowing on this blog and will be till January 4th. (you gotta love WordPress!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

11 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, holidays, humor, humor, magnet for the absurd, products, trends

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November 28, 2009 · 12:27 am

Orange Peel Rorschach Test

Amongst his many talents, Gary has developed this very impressive style of peeling a clementine. I thought it would be fun to do a poll since we have not had one here in awhile. A little audience participation is always nice. No need to comment, unless you feel compelled, but please do cast your vote below.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 19, 2009 · 11:13 pm

What are you thinking

Over the next few days you will hear all the reasons why I love the W Hotel in Miami. This first reason is a biggie. How can I, the Magnet for the Absurd, ever resist a coaster in the bathroom under glass that asks me:

What are you thinking right at this very second?

Then, as if that were not endearing enough, I am told to:

(write it down)

Seriously, I had to look around that bathroom for the camera.

Talk about a brand that GETS me! I am smitten.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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