Category Archives: absurdities

August 7, 2009 · 11:20 pm

Social Media Saturday – Facebook Profile Tattoos?

husband-tattoo

Since the whole reason for starting this blog was to learn more about the social media space, I thought it would be fun to start this new series, Social Media Saturdays. I will be taking a look at the pros and cons of social media and of course pointing out the things that amuse me.

For those of you who are not on Facebook, the image to the left is a targeted Facebook ad. And a ridiculous one at that. What targeted means, in lay terms, is that there is some kind of creepy algorithm that aggregates all your profile info – age, marital status, geography, Facebook behavior, professional affiliations and G-d knows what else, perhaps even your bathroom habits. This information is then used to create strategically targeted ads that, in theory, fill your personal needs. (Nothing revolutionary, online ad networks have been doing this for a while. Think Google Ads). Again, in theory, you will be inclined to click on those ads, buy those products and services and the world will be a much better place because you don’t have to see ads for stuff you don’t want.

NOT.

Once again, I will retain my MFTA (Magnet For The Absurd) status with this post. I am guessing that perhaps the sole reason why I saw this ad on my Facebook page was because I am a married woman. (or maybe it is because I have linked to my blog where I have written about tattoos more than once). One would guess that all married women get this one, and all married men get the wife version with Jane on it. But how far does the targeting go? Will my married gay male friends get the John version? Depends upon how evolved the ad network is – both technically and socially. And if I were to get divorced would this ad stop appearing and would it be replaced by a dating service. Probably.

Creepy? Definitely.

Back to the absurdity of the offering. Hey, I love my husband but just as I doubt I would tattoo his name on my ass, I probably wouldn’t do it to my profile either. I wonder if there is an ad for a tattoo removal doctor that follows after you add this to your profile.

This illustrates the level of nonsense that is cluttering the social media networks, most of which is just white noise to the users. You Facebook users out there, for the fun of it, start paying attention to the ads that appear on your profiles and leave the most ridiculous ones in the comments.

This should be interesting.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 6, 2009 · 10:30 pm

Sticky Dicky? (they Krazy Glued what?)

crazy-glueForgive me if you are tired of this story by now, but seriously, did you think I could leave this one unmentioned?

This Wisco ‘playah’ was lured to a motel room by one of his handful of lovers and was bound and blindfolded, most probably in hopes of a little action. To his surprise, his wife and two other angry lovers arrived and this poor schnook wound up with his dick stuck to his stomach with crazy glue.

Ouch. And quite creative, I might add. The visual on this one kills me.

(Note: Let’s not feel too bad for this dickhead (or shall I say dickbelly) as he has now been charged with felony child abuse and three other misdemeanors. Could one of them have been nail polish remover theft? Is that a misdemeanor?)

Oddly enough, as innovative as this act might have appeared, it was not original. Apparently back in 2000 a man found himself in a similar bind. Only this guy not only had his penis stuck to his stomach, he also found his testicles glued to his leg and his butt cheeks glued together. All done while he was sleeping! To quote Gary, “Now, that’s tough!”  I know it is cruel but I cannot stop laughing from that one. Do you think the Wisco guy called him to find out what solvent to use?

I am reminded of good old John and Lorena Bobbit. Now there is a guy who would have begged for some crazy glue!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 5, 2009 · 8:03 pm

Rethinking a Wardrobe Choice

I-just-farted

Yes, I know, I am the ultimate MFTA (magnet for the absurd). It is no longer a coincidence that things like this present themselves to me like little bloggy gifts. I still hold to the idea that many people see things like this. They just don’t process or don’t carry a camera.

So, ok, let’s take a look at this ‘I Just Farted (You should run now) T-shirt on this rather portly gent. I will only comment by saying,’What the hell was he thinking?’ This was taken at a kids summer camp alumni weekend. Perhaps the thought was ‘Hey, farting always gets a good laugh, why not?’

This next one is from visiting day a few years back at the same camp:

I-only-date-MILFS

This one kills me on oh so many levels. First, the shirt is flaming orange, no way we can miss it. Second, this guy is the father of 3 boys – to quote my daughter ‘what the hell?’ Third – let’s just say MILFs ain’t dating him back, K? All joking aside, this man actually planned to wear this. He packed it in his suitcase and thought to himself, ‘Hey wouldn’t it be cool to totally humiliate my kids on visiting day?’ Or maybe he just thought it was funny. Scarier.

Ok, one more:

as-a-kite

This one does not fall in the offensive category, in fact I find it rather graphically clever (even though I hate that typeface but that is my own personal graphic design neurosis). Thankfully this was not at camp with kids around, that would just be wrong. But it was at a concert where you would think if this guy was high, perhaps he would want to be a little more discreet about it.

Or not.

Guys, when you get dressed for these events, might I suggest you consult a woman before leaving the house?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 2, 2009 · 9:22 pm

Prozac Country

prozac-don't-worry-be-happy

Sometimes you are driving down the road, you are weary from a long trip and the conversation has long since died down. Then out of nowhere a visual gift is placed before you. Sometimes your husband points it out and then actually thinks that he is not obligated to turn that damn car around and pull over so you can take the shot. (guess who won that argument).

I kid you not, my friends, no retouching here. This is not one of those funny church sign generator images. This is the real deal.

Stuck in the worst kind of traffic on the way home from the Adirondacks, we took a side route and ambled upon someone’s front lawn with this sitting on it. Talk about the mother of all lawn ornaments. This blows away the frogs and bunnies. If you don’t believe this is for real, take a drive down route 199 in Milan, NY and you will find this yourself. It is between the Rhinebeck Bridge and the Taconic State Parkway.

After a 5 hour drive one could surely use a million milligrams of Prozac.

(please note the Keep Out sign in the bottom left corner, guess that means they don’t share)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, photography, places of interest, products, road signs, road trip

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July 28, 2009 · 10:51 pm

The Vixen Manual

vixe-manual

Oh yeh, this is what I am talking about, Vixen how-to on the subway. I could not resist this shot. I love the guy in the window. He is looking like someone who might just be in need of a vixen. Hey, let’s be honest, what guy isn’t. This is some scary stuff.

Since the image is small, let me give you the selling points (with commentary of course):

A vixen:

1) Knows how to flirt (lame, most women know how to flirt)

2) Never lets him see her sweat (I believe this was stolen from the Dry Idea deodorant commercial, not all that sexy if you ask me)

3) Can stroke his… ego (subtle… oh, puh-leez!)

4) All of the above (falls kind of flat here, I was looking around for a #2 pencil on this one)

How about these credentials:

From music video eye candy to domestic diva, there isn’t a relationship Karren Steffans hasn’t had. (ew! perhaps I went to far with my imagination on this one)

Oh, best part… available in hardcover and as an eBook (would that make it SOFTware ?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 26, 2009 · 11:19 am

Proof my dog and I might be genetically linked

meds

Scary, but I think it is true.

My dog has not been feeling well lately. She has been panting at odd times and drinking a ton, so I decided it was time to bring her to the vet. Please understand that I love this animal as if she were part of the family. No, I do not walk her in a stroller, I am able to differentiate between my kids and my pet, but I do love her  just the same.

Keep in mind she just turned 11, so going to the vet to find out what is wrong is a tricky proposition. Nothing worse than dropping 1,000 bucks to find out your dog is terminal. Luckily, she is not. And it only cost $480 to find that out – a bargain.

It seems, good ole Mel suffers from hypothyroidism. This would explain her weight gain (not the table scraps I have berated Gary for giving her) and could explain her other symptoms. Oh, and her pH is off (what the hell?).

So who else in this house suffers from this plight? You guessed it (and the photo gave it away). So, my friends, my dog and I are now on the same meds!

I am praying she does not get rabies!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 24, 2009 · 6:46 pm

Recession Rosaries

recession-rosaries

Yep, you can’t go wrong with these babies. I give a lot of credit to this vendor. These are a nice blend of recessionary reaction, trend appeal and religious affiliation.

Ahhh, AND they make the perfect gift.

I should have investigated them further to see if there was anything different about them. I wonder if they had some recession specific markings or maybe it was just a tag. The tag would make more sense. We are in a recession you know, need to watch the bottom line on every SKU. And surely you don’t want to be left over with heavy inventory once the recession breaks.

Perhaps they could expand their products with another current event driven line like Swine Flu Rosaries; great for the religious school market. They could package them with a plaid surgical mask and a little bottle of Purell. Great Back-to-School gift item that no kid’s backpack should be without.

Sorry, it is quite obvious I have been in marketing and promotions for way too long.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 23, 2009 · 10:04 pm

Cheap Eats

cheap-eats

Walking into a restaurant the other night I spotted this character. In respect for anonymity I cropped him. He struck such a resemblance to Frank Zappa that I had to do a double take.

I love the cover of the magazine with ‘Cheap Eats’, which by the way the restaurant is not. I never realized but our friend pointed out that $17.95 was kind of pricey for eggplant parmigiana. I suppose I can’t argue with that.

I wonder what article he was reading. The way he has his hand over his mouth it appears that he is astonished. Maybe he just ordered the eggplant parmigiana and is reading an article about where he can buy it for half the price.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 21, 2009 · 7:24 pm

Stroller Dog

dog-in-stroller

As a follow up to the leashed toddler from Monday, here is another shot from that same day on the boardwalk.

These confused ‘parents’ had their dog in the stroller. Where the hell was their kid, on a leash? Or better yet at the kennel.

Maybe it was the heat, or perhaps people are just crazy in any weather. What worries me the most is that this is a double stroller, so they are either missing their kid or another dog.

To add a little interest to this post, let’s do a Where’s Amy on this one.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 19, 2009 · 9:39 pm

The Kid on a Leash with a Monkey on Her Back

kid-leash-monkey

Ah,  a beautiful afternoon walk on the boardwalk of my childhood. What a fine day to take one’s toddler out for a walk…

… on a leash! What were these parents thinking? You leash pets. Kids? You should hold their hands.

I know there is a segment of the parent population out there that thinks they are keeping their kids safe by leashing them. I just don’t buy it. I have had toddlers. Wandering toddlers at that. And I never once felt compelled to harness and leash them. I don’t know how the rest of you feel about this but I find the whole leash movement disturbing.

Look at this picture. If the parents only looked in the general direction of the kid instead of everywhere else, maybe there would be no need for the leash.

Does she get a biscuit at the end of the walk?

The monkey on the back was the icing on the cake for me. (apparently the monkey is part of the apparatus) We were walking and I said, “Hey look, there is a kid on a leash with a monkey on her back.”

This was the point of the day that I realized that I am starting to speak in blog post titles.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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