The Kid on a Leash with a Monkey on Her Back


Ah,  a beautiful afternoon walk on the boardwalk of my childhood. What a fine day to take one’s toddler out for a walk…

… on a leash! What were these parents thinking? You leash pets. Kids? You should hold their hands.

I know there is a segment of the parent population out there that thinks they are keeping their kids safe by leashing them. I just don’t buy it. I have had toddlers. Wandering toddlers at that. And I never once felt compelled to harness and leash them. I don’t know how the rest of you feel about this but I find the whole leash movement disturbing.

Look at this picture. If the parents only looked in the general direction of the kid instead of everywhere else, maybe there would be no need for the leash.

Does she get a biscuit at the end of the walk?

The monkey on the back was the icing on the cake for me. (apparently the monkey is part of the apparatus) We were walking and I said, “Hey look, there is a kid on a leash with a monkey on her back.”

This was the point of the day that I realized that I am starting to speak in blog post titles.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, family, humor, parenting

17 responses to “The Kid on a Leash with a Monkey on Her Back

  1. This post is totally funny, and I agree that leashes on kids is kind of silly. Sometimes.

    I’ve never used a leash, but I can understand some of the reasoning behind it. I have an autistic kid who loooooves to wander. And if I try to hold his hand, he will often twist and twist to get out of it. And there are kids who have an aversion to skin to skin contact. I think that it’s hard to tell by just looking at a family what is behind their parenting methods.

  2. judy

    i was in the city last week–wishing that i had a camera!! there were 2 friends strolling down 34th st chatting and holding leashes. one had a dog at the end and the other….a toddler! the dog and the kid seemed to be good friends too…….

  3. Stimey, you have a point. Things are surely not always what they appear to be. I will change my opinion by stating if there are not clinical reasons why this is the only way you can bring your kid out in public, then the leash is disturbing.

    Judy, apparently the kid was cool with it. Hopefully there was no canine behavior displayed later in the day.

  4. I agree that the monkey on her back is pretty hilarious. 🙂

  5. the monkey is surely the best part.

  6. I couldn’t agree more! I’m so glad you that you put it out there. I think it’s lazy parenting and my boyfriend’s sister always defends herself by saying that it helps her keep a hold on her squirmy son. So, I asked her how did she think the millions of parents ever survived not putting a leash on their child? Sometimes people have it backwards- leash on kids and dogs in strollers, but, that’s another rant! Thanks for posting this! And yes, the monkey is such a perfect addition, as if that makes it cute…

  7. k.

    i am sure if leaches were invented gary would of had one.

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  10. I just posted about that on my blog.

  11. sue bear

    I used to HATE those leashes and could never understand how any parent could put their child on a leash. I figured that they were lazy or some such thing. Then I had my second child and I have had so many close calls including him darting away from me into traffic, climbing out of car windows and running across busy streets, running so far and so fast in shopping centers, and just yesterday he ran out at IKEA and knocked over a huge metal gate that landed on his head and gave him a huge bump, but could have easily split his head open, and I could literally go on and on. This list was just the first two hours of my day. When I am carrying groceries, taking care of my other children, sometimes watching many children at once and in dangerous areas, I am not able to hold him. Plus he weighs half as much as I do, and although I am very healthy and work out every day, I can not always catch him in time or restrain him. He is fearless and when I yell or am so scared I am crying, he laughs. SO…I am buying a monkey leash, and I will take the scorn and damnation of you all to know that I am saving his life. Yes we did not have those many generations ago, but actually a lot more kids did get in fatal accidents and there was a lot less traffic if any at all many generations ago.

    • Sue. So sorry to hear your story. Sounds like you have your hands full with this child. Some of them challenge us way more than others. I hope as he matures you are able to find non restraining ways to tame him and teach him of the dangers of his behavior.

      Good luck.

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  13. MasterBateman

    I got one for my girlfriend, and blinders too, so that she knows her place beneath ME.

  14. Eric

    Whoever wrote this article clearly doesnt have kids. And most likely should never have kids. Thousands of parents have that exact item for helping toddlers walk and stay close to thier parents. Very poor perception.

    • Actually Eric, I have 2 kids. They are 18 and 22. Contrary to your parenting advice, they learned how to walk as toddlers without being leashed and trained to heal like animals.

      Guess your theory is shot, my friend.

  15. cook

    Reins were quite commonly used a few decades ago. I used them for my son when he was small because he ran off a lot and was a danger to himself. I don’t understand how people can possibly deduce that this is lazy parenting – quite the opposite is true. My son was not harmed in any way by wearing reins; only when out in busy areas and for a period of a year or two. This was, for his own safety; he had already run across a busy road, and hated holding hands. This is not a question of teaching a child to walk at heel like a dog!! He was a happy child who played outside all the time and the reins were for occasional use. Each family is different and each child is different. I find the above comments totally judgemental and ridiculous.

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