July 9, 2009 · 8:41 pm

A bird in hand…

a-bird-in-handOk, I am now officially convinced that I am the magnet for the absurd. I think these things happen to me on days when I am sure there is nothing inside my head worth blogging about.

I was out doing errands. Seriously, just a suburban yenta out going about her mundane business. You know, Staples, drug store, supermarket. The usual stuff. It was a perfect summer evening.

Apparently  a perfect summer evening TO TAKE YOUR BIRD OUT FOR A RIDE!

I am not making this up. This is no Photoshop ploy (not that I don’t have that skill set, of course). I pulled into the King Kullen Shopping Center parking lot and in the car next to me was this yellow-shirted woman with matching…

BIRD.

Having been a bird owner in a past life (another post for sure) this baby looks like a sun conure. (mine was a nanday conure named Picasso and it HATED Gary even though he bought it for me… do the math).

So, this woman was just parked. Every once in awhile she would scratch him behind the head (they love that). I parked, took a few pictures, food shopped, came out of the store and she was still there.

I must drive by in the morning. You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 8, 2009 · 7:29 pm

A man walks into a dentist’s office… naked!

iStock_000001172175Medium0308-225_0

No, this is not the beginning of a corny joke. This was on this evening’s news.

It seems Christopher Hoff was a little warm today and decided to pay his dentist a visit sans clothing. No biggie, really. Just hop in the car, take a little ride and walk into the reception area with not a stitch of clothing on.

The receptionist? Well she screamed of course.

So he ran.

But the cops found him at home where he claimed to have been sleeping. Bud, just curious, by any chance did you dream about being naked in the dentist’s office?

Here is the best part. The receptionist was able to identify him immediately because ‘his eyes were very blue and he had a good tan’. Um, hon, this guy had his dick hanging out and you noticed his EYE COLOR? Any one else find this odd?

In case you are wondering he was charged with two counts of disorderly conduct and one count of public indecency. And failure to comply with fingerprinting. Maybe they should have taken a print of his… never mind.

So tell me, Dr. Jimmy, have you had any naked patients lately?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 7, 2009 · 8:35 pm

Hairy Backs and Tattoos

With the rain finally gone I have been fortunate enough to have spent a good amount of time on the beaches in the past couple of weeks. As always there are plenty of hairy backs out there. The mangroomer should be doing a booming biz.

If you will remember, I am both fascinated and aggravated by back hair. Some of these guys look like they are wearing sweaters. It must be awfully hot under there. Look at this guy, I think he is down by the ocean just to cool off. The spinal hair is particularly fascinating on this guy. Look at that dense patch down the middle. It almost looks like hairy vertebrae.

hairy-back

I have also noticed that there are way more tattoos this year. It seems everyone is sporting ink. And a lot of it is major. Saw some guy in Fire Island with full photorealistic portraits of his kids on his arm. I wonder if they will age as his skin sags.

tats-and-hair

This guy here had a wonderful combination of tats and the most bizarre body hair pattern I have ever seen. What is with that tuft of hair at the base of his spine crawling down his up way to high bathing suit. Eww!

Again, we women are out there spending all kinds of money waxing, lasering, shaving, eppilating, dipilatoring our lives away and these guys just let the hair out of the bag and don’t think twice.

Who are the schmucks here?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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July 6, 2009 · 10:51 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – License Plate Wisdom

This is not my usual Time to Cry Tuesday. The end of June was wrought with so many emotions that I am too played out to wrench any hearts this week. Instead I thought I would bring you some license plate zen. I truly believe that these messages show up on the road in front of me to make me think.

Or laugh.

Or not, just humor me here today.

Let’s start with a nice Beatles sentiment. When driving on the expressway it is good to just…

let-it-be

But by all means, never…

b-chicken

Because…

some-will

and some won’t. That is just how life is. Just don’t be a…

show-cat

Because you never know if you are being followed by…

2-nuns

(only in Wisconsin!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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July 5, 2009 · 8:21 pm

Traveling to another dimension

amy-at-the-beach

If you have wondered where I have been these past few days, I have traveled to another dimension. One that I rarely visit.

Unplugged.

Yes, I know it is hard to picture me there. And to be perfectly honest I had a functioning blackberry so I could monitor email, blog comments, twitter and Facebook.But I chose to not participate for a few days.

It was Fire Island; synonymous with sea air, alcohol and dear friends that prompted my desire to just spectate. The only thing missing was a repeat performance from the cucumber plant that we witnessed last year.

Funny, I ran into friends on the beach who asked me what I was doing going for a walk and not blogging with the breaking news about Palin going on. I will leave her for another day. I only hope my Palin condom just went up in value with this new twist of the bizarre.

Have no fear, though. I shot over 100 images. I think this one is my fave. I will not be so lame as to make this a ‘where’s Amy?’ shot, because it is obvious. But this image captures the amazing place that I was. Both figuratively and literally.

Thank you Sam and Katie, for hosting yet another perfect weekend at the beach. This shot illustrates the inside, outside, sky, sea, sand, trees, architectural wonder that they call their beach home.

Don’t I blend in nicely with the environment?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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July 2, 2009 · 5:52 pm

You are who you are…

you-are-who-you-are

… when no one is looking.

I love this message. If I had only one lesson to teach my kids in life I think this might be it. That and how to hold who that is and be that way all the time. What is harder than being true to oneself? Ok, getting a bit heady from a beer ad prompt, but hey, that is what advertising is supposed to about.

Nice work, Heineken. (no, they are not a client).

This, coupled with my family’s favorite TV spot of the year, “Let a stranger drive you home” renews my faith in standout creative. (W+ K did the TV spot, not sure on the outdoor). Go ahead, watch it even if you have seen it before. I LOVE this! Seriously, who does not love the cabbie? You have to smile when you watch this.

I thought this would be a nice way to kick off the holiday weekend.

Now be careful out there.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 1, 2009 · 5:58 pm

Lawn Ornament Afterparty

lawn-ornament-afterparty

I pass these three every morning on my walk. Today I felt compelled to share them with you.

I simply love each one of them. Here is my take on the scenario:

Froggy: good chance he just did one of the bunnies. What, not what you were expecting? C’mon, look at that smug look on his face and his satiated stance. What else could have gone on here?

Bunny in the middle: Thinking this one was a witness not a participant. Seems kind of rejected or perhaps embarrassed.

Bunny on the right: Yep, this one looks pretty chipper and flirty.

What concerns me a little bit about sharing this with you all is the fact that I am starting to spill the contents of my warped mind into the blogosphere at a staggering rate.

Oh, that and that fact that I am listed in some places as a mom blogger. Hey, nothing wrong with a little birds and bees lesson now and then. Or frogs and bunnies if you will. And the  co-mingling of species is a nice piece on tolerance. All in all I think this is a lovely little parenting post.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 30, 2009 · 10:03 pm

To the young women on the cell phone on the train…

Travelling backpacker

Did you think you were alone in that car? Were you under the impression that all of us sitting near you were deaf? More than once I have been on a train where people have aired their dirty laundry as if they were the only ones around. I have heard about family feuds, business deals gone bad, the intimate details of teen children’s social lives and marriages on the brink. But never have I heard a conversation quite like this one.

By the end of the 35 minute trip to the city I knew more about your life than I do about most of my dear friends. Because of the sheer stupidity of airing your dirty laundry on a commuter train, I will honor that by sharing some sound bytes with my readers. Hold on to your hats, kids, this chick is out there. Quotes are from her, italics are my commentary.

“So he said to me, “Tell your dad if all he cares about is his money, he can suck my dick.”

Hmmm, good start, right?

“I mean he broke my heart and stole my money. I told him he is going to have to work really hard to win me back.”

Ummm, why do you WANT him back?

“He wants to know why we can’t just be together. It’s so sad cuz we used to have so much fun till he stole my (dad’s) credit cards.”

Wait, he stole your credit cards and you are thinking you can work things out?

“He complained that my family is just all about the money and I told him that is what Long Island is like. He’s from Brooklyn and just does not get it.”

Sweetie, I think he gets it fine. He seems pretty much about the money if he stole yours. And, correct me if I am wrong but I think there are plenty of parts of Brooklyn that are about the money. Have you ever been to the Heights?

“He gets all defensive as if I did something wrong whenever I want to talk about him paying us back. It is so weird.”

Weird? Sounds kind of psychopathic to me.

And this is my fave of all:

“I told him he needs to learn that going to school is better than stealing and dealing drugs.”

Ya think? What the hell!

I was told today that people sense my being and then they perform for me so I can blog about it. Could that actually be true? Could I be a cosmic magnet for the absurd?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 29, 2009 · 8:51 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday-Nunley’s Ferris Wheel

nunley's-ferris-wheel

Ever stumble upon a piece of your childhood and feel like your breath had been stolen? The sight of this old relic caused both Gary and I to stop in our tracks. Believe it or not, we grew up in the same town. Being way older than I – not really, but I like to say that – and having moved in his early teens, our paths did not cross until later on.

Both of us stood in front of this broken down blast from the past and realized that our very first experiences on a ferris wheel had been on this very ride. I remember exactly where it was positioned to the left of the doorway, just outside the main building that housed the carousel. And the little boats where right behind it. The thought of what was breeding in that water would make a modern day mama cringe.

Damn, that thing looked so big back then. And new(ish) for I am sure it had been around for awhile by the time I road it.

nunley's-signNunley’s was a sweet little amusement park on Long Island that seemed like a Six Flags to me when I was a kid. If you lived anywhere on the south shore in Nassau County, you knew Nunley’s. A promise to visit this magical place made everyone happy.

It was on its carousel that I first learned about trying to catch the brass ring. When you caught one your day was complete.

I suppose many are still out there trying to catch it again.

Me? I was just happy to visit with an old friend. And share that memory with my husband. Who says you can’t go home again?

(FYI, this old baby now resides in front of Jordan’s Lobster Farms, another great south shore landmark. You might also like to know that the carousel has been restored and you can take a ride on it at Museum Row in Garden City)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 28, 2009 · 8:31 pm

Harry Potter Landscaping

harry-potter-lawn

I have passed this house before and it never registered what those slates were up against the wall. If you look closely they are Harry Potter characters.

There is virtually no landscaping on this side of the house that faces the main road in a beach town, other than the lone red impatien planted by the brick wall.

Stopped at a red light it registered what this was and this image is the result of a split second decision to take the shot before we moved. For once, I was not driving.

I wonder what drove the homeowner to paint these slates and keep them as the sole adornment on their property.

Odd at best.

I find myself singing the Mysterious Ticking Noice video song in my head when I see this. Go ahead, what the video, there is nothing that is both more annoying or more addictive.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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