January 17, 2009 · 10:47 pm

Need a Jolt?

jolt-gum

I am one of those people that has a pack of gum on their desk and during the course of the day will chew the entire thing while I am working. It is some kind of OCD rabid chewing habit that one can only hone when working by themselves in the basement. It’s sort of anti-social to be snapping and popping away all day when someone shares your workspace. The dog? She could not care less.

So here’s the thing. This Jolt gum? If you read the fine print on the bottom left of the package you will find out that 2 pieces of this stuff is equal to 1 energy drink. Yeh, so that would mean that the whole pack would be equal to a pot of coffee or maybe letting the air out of a balloon and buzzing around the ceiling! I suppose that would be why their tagline would be: “Chew More, Do More”. I love their disclaimer on the website. “GumRunners, LLC supports responsible chewing. Please chew responsibly. Or responsively. Or both.” Sounds like these guys have chewed quite a bit themselves.

Don’t worry, I did not eat all 12 pieces at once. But maybe 4. And let me tell you, this is not recommended for someone with high blood pressure and an irregular heartbeat. Um, yes I would be raising my hand for those last two ailments. Note to self: switch back to Orbit.

I will, however, praise the makers of Jolt gum for supporting the USA National Team, even if they do humiliate that poor swimmer by photographing him with that ridiculous bonnet-like bathing cap on his head. Don’t you think the strings on this sucker are hideously long? But they do give 5 cents from the sale of every pack to the team and all kidding aside that makes me love this brand. They also support the military. No joke. They sent 25,000 free packs of gum overseas to our troops.

Honestly, there is nothing I love more than a brand with a sense of humor and cause-related programs. My two favorites. Kudos to you Jolt-peeps for bringing the buzz out of the cola into this chewy delight! Hey, do you make a decaf version?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 16, 2009 · 10:11 pm

They won’t call me a prick anymore!

Well, this is a major relief. Late last night I received the email below :

noprickTalk about a subject line. Really, who wants to be called a prick anymore. Especially those of us who had no idea we WERE being called a prick. And quite honestly I only know a select few people who even use the term prick regularly. Don’t most people use the word dick? Or maybe douche bag?

On that subject I feel compelled to tell the story of a fellow overvolunteer mom (who will remain nameless). She was stuck in the throws of a PTA project that was wearing on her last nerve. The women who she was dealing with were more than she could handle. One of her dear friends was on the committee with her. My friend (no really it was not me, it was a friend) sent her an email to the effect of: ‘Let’s hope this last version will fly with these douche bags.’

Unfortunately she committed the worst crime of email, accidentally replying all to the email. This resulted in copying these said douche bags on the correspondence.

Ooooo boy. Not funny to her, but her friend and I found it most entertaining. We came up with all sorts of covers for her. Like she could start the meeting with ‘I am so happy all you douche bags could make it’. Then move on to tell them that she uses that term affectionately.

Yeh, kind of weak.

I went so far as to take a Summer’s Eve package graphic and create a nametag for her friend. Ok, too much free time on my hands. I just can’t help myself with graphic support!

Back to the email above. This came from Adtek Guide in Elkhart, Indiana. Could not find these guys on a quick search but I am curious about why the picture did not come in on my email. And seriously, what was this email all about.

Anyone? Wendy?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 15, 2009 · 11:36 pm

Celebrate the Changing of the Guard

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In celebration of our new president, Paste Magazine has put up the most fantastic idea, Obambaicon.me.

Yes, that picture above is the ever fabulous and famous Mel. For those who don’t know her or follow me around the web, my avatar, or icon is a picture of the pup with sunglasses on. She is quite cool.

Obamaicon.me allows you to alter any photo to match the style of the iconic Obama campaign graphic. You can upload a photo or use the camera on your computer to snap a new shot. It also allows you to add a slogan.

Genius!

Thanks Joe Laves, for turning me on to this. If anyone cares to submit their version to me I will be happy to post them here. Send to a2zdes(at)gmail(dot)com.

And yes, the dog is a liberal democrat who is looking forward to change.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 14, 2009 · 11:32 pm

15 years ago I was really nuts!

jana4thinvitepdf2You think I am crazy now, you should have known me when my kids were little.

For those who did, you might remember this invitation to Jana’s 4th birthday party. For those who didn’t, this invitation was hand-drawn to match the fabric of the dress she wore to the party. But no, I did not stop there, the cake was also decorated with the same art. Nope, not one of those Carvel photo cakes. Yes that was me at 3 in the morning decorating the cake.

What would I have done if she spilled something on that dress before the party?

What a psycho! I suppose this was all part of my working mom, over-compensation, do it all, be everything to everyone, I am as good as any stay at home mom if it kills me sort of thing. Before all these terms existed I was a DIY (Do It Yourself), WAHM (Work At Home Mom), who always felt a little inadequate with the SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms) and had to prove I was worthy. Now I just want to be a MILF (sorry, no translations if you don’t know what that one is. And not really but it was a funny way to end this paragraph).

The day before the party I had lunch with a client who had become a dear friend. When she asked why I was so exhausted I told her of all the party preparations. That is when she reached across the table, put her hand on mine and said, “Hon, it’s time to stop the nonsense, order the damn Carvel cake and call it a day!” Her thought was that this surely meant more to me than the 4-year-old and in the long run this would not be the stuff she would remember.

Fast forward 15 years, Jana and I just talked about this and laughed the other day. Then today she decided to organize one of my many piles of pictures and momentos in my office. And what fell out of the pile onto the desk…

you guessed it, the invite art!

And you know what? We BOTH remembered it. I can laugh at how important this stuff was to me back then, but I am sure I would not change it if I could do it all over.

Once a psycho, always a psycho!

Now where are those magic markers…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 13, 2009 · 5:58 pm

Dancin’ the Night Away

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Some shameless promotion for my kid today. Look at her in this picture. Don’t you get all excited about whatever it is that she is selling here? And really, does this photo look like Wisconsin?! Surely not in January.

Miss Jana is participating in an exciting fundraising event at the end of February. The Wisconsin Dance Marathon is a two-day event organized by University of Wisconsin students to benefit American Family Children’s Hospital.

These kids are raising funds for a great cause while dancin’ the night away. What could be bad? (hey, maybe she will send us a video of the whole crowd doing the Toddler Dance!)

With the economy in the state it is in, charities are finding it harder to raise much needed funds. These kids have found a great way to allow donors to participate on any level and help make a difference.

Check out her donation page and if you could, please help.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 13, 2009 · 12:02 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – I don’t know and you don’t know

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There are times in our lives when we are profoundly touched by another person even though we have never met them. Sadly, sometimes they are already gone and we have lost the opportunity.

I have a friend in my community who I am very fond of. We do not know each other all that well but have been friends for a long time and our husbands are btff (best tennis friends forever). She and her family emanate an infectious warmth and hospitality. Being in their home one feels instantly comfortable and engaged. Their circle of friends is equally embracing. We always leave their house feeling as if we have had a full experience. Does that make sense? I hope so.

This past weekend we attended a memorial service for her mom who passed away suddenly last month. This particular congregation has a beautiful custom of creating a booklet of readings for its life cycle events. Friends and family members read from this booklet and helped paint a picture of this vibrant woman.

During the service my friend spoke about the mom she had lost. Theirs was a tender relationship, one that every mother and daughter hopes to have. Her loss was very painful to witness, yet being there I felt the greatest honor she could give her mother was to share who she was with those who did not know her.

She told a story about going back to her mom’s home to sort through the pieces of her life. The most precious things she found were two post-it notes. Her mom had a habit of scribbling down thoughts and sticking them around her home. (a woman after my own heart as I have a bulletin board filled with such things over my desk). One of the notes said it all for me:

You don’t know and I don’t know.

How perfect is that? Pretty much says it all. We can worry and ruminate. We can plan and organize. We can strive and learn and try to control it all. But in the end, you don’t know and I don’t know.

I am sorry I never had the pleasure to meet this fine woman, but in some ways I suppose I have.

To my dear friend, may your grief be tempered with the knowledge that you were loved fully by a mother who adored you. And may your wonderful boys, or shall I say young men, give you the strength and support you need during this terribly sad time.

And may I say, it was an honor to ‘know’ your mom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 11, 2009 · 11:21 pm

What’s the poop with this paper?

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Photo via treehugger via Future Feeder

Here is a shout out to my Twitter friend @flipgonzo, who never is at a shortage for interesting conversation and links of equal intrigue. He sent out a weekend tweet on this one and it was something I could not help but share. Thanks for the material, my friend!

This is too good to be true. A Sri Lankan company called none other than Mr. Ellie Pooh brings us elephant poop paper. No sh*t, this paper is really made from this crap. Ok, that was weak, sorry. You can read all the real stuff about this product at treehugger.com but the following is the Amy version which is infinitely more entertaining.

You will all love the reason for the creation of this paper; to save the elephants. They were becoming a nuisance by trampling crops and were being killed by the Sri Lankans. By creating paper from their droppings Mr. Ellie Pooh (do you think this is his real name?) hopes to create a new market for this country and make the elephants a a valuable natural resource. Unless, of course, they should become constipated at some point. Then there will be a need for prune farmers. It’s all good.

The paper is made from 75% elephant crapola and the other 25% is all post-consumer waste. My green mama friend Jessica Gottleib should surely love this stuff. What do you think Jessica?

Poopy papers can be purchased through Pixxlz.com, a Massachussetts based print products company.

Here is my one big concern; is this paper, or is it not, scratch and sniff?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 11, 2009 · 12:46 am

Eat Me? Crude Sells.

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This should have probably landed on Leaving the Zip Code, but I needed to write more than I do over there and that poor blog has been quite neglected of late.

On St. Mark’s Place in NYC resides Crif Dogs, an eatery that specializes in the ever-so-healthy deep fried wiener. Aside from dreaming up ways to clog the arteries of New Yorkers, these guys have a great sene of humor and decided to hang a larger than life hot dog out front with the words ‘Eat Me’ written in an artful mustard script.

I saw this while circling for a parking spot and dragged my daughter and nephew back there to snap a shot.

Ask me how sick of my photog antics this next generation of my family has become. Actually, they bitch and moan about my snap happy behavior, but neither of them could deny that this would make a fabulous blog post.

Let’s face it, the signage is crude, but it did catch my attention. Did I purchase on of these death wieners? Of course not. If I am going to venture down the road of wiener death I am strictly a grilled Hebrew National Girl.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 10, 2009 · 12:20 am

Mantyhose, the Perfect Mansierre Companion

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Once again, my nephew has fed me another absurdity to share with my readers (thanks Matt).

Ladies and gentleman, I bring you:

Mantyhose! Not your mother’s pantyhose. (nice tagline)

Back in November I brought you the man bra, or what we Seinfeld fans like to call the Mansierre. Women, humor me for a moment and think of your significant other in a pair of these. Or better yet, everyone picture you dad. Your favorite professor. Your pediatrician. The gardner. Oh, I could keep going with this one, the visuals are fabulous. Oh wait…

The plumber! No more butt crack worries if he is wearing a pair of Mantyhose.

I love the ‘male comfort panel with convenient fly opening’. Guys, you will never have to know the joys or a pantyhose waistband around your knees while squatting over a public toilet.

My favorite part? Mild compression. I would imagine mild compression would be a nice sensation whereas tight compression could become a problem.

Want to purchase a pair? You can do that here.

Enjoy!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 8, 2009 · 7:57 pm

Lingerie or Purse?

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If I ever doubted why I carry a camera in my bag at all times this little frivolity confirmed my desire to always have one handy.

When I see an item like this I wonder if it were transported to a different context might it be seen as the hottest fashion craze? Hang one off the arm of an Olsen twin and these things would be flying off the shelves instead of hanging on the sale rack. The very same sale section where I spotted the Ricky Martin lunchbox back in October.

The odd thing is that these items were not found in a novelty store. I saw them at Pearl Paint, an art and craft supply mega-store that I always make excuses to visit as often as possible. This is the art supply store of my formative art student years. I simply feel better in those aisles with all those tubes and brushes. Yeh well, ok.

This bustier purse begs the question, “What art supply store buyer would make the choice to stock this item in the first place?” Going through supplier catalogs checking off inventory: oil paint, brushes, gold leaf, erasers, drawing paper, hot pink satin bustier purse with rhinestone accents, erasers, picture frames, clay… Sorry don’t see the logic here. Kind of like the Where’s Waldo of retail.

You know, looking at it now it is growing on me. I am kind of sorry I did not purchase it.

Hmmm, do you think it will still be there tomorrow? Seriously, this could MAKE any outfit at a North Shore Long Island Bar Mitzvah, no?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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