Category Archives: holidays

February 17, 2010 · 7:40 pm

Honey, does this potato make my butt look fat?

No, folks, no Photoshop miracle here. This baby came right out of the bin at the supermarket we affectionately call Stinky Farms (for the way it used to smell when I was pregnant, before they renovated).

I always find it uncanny when I find body part vegetables. This is not the first time I have blogged about them. Who could forget my friend Katie’s rather impressive cucumber from fire island? (All the other vegetables were jealous Vol. 1) or the rather impressive horse radish during Passover (vol 2)? And then of course there is Gary’s hidden talent for peeling an orange into an ‘elephant’ (cough, cough, yeh right)

But this one? This one is almost freakish in its resemblance to a perfect little baby’s butt.

Yeh, I know, you all wish you could go food shopping with me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 15, 2010 · 5:29 pm

No Time to Cry – Fat Tuesday

Ok, I admit it. I have fallen hopelessly in love. No, don’t worry, I am not leaving my adorable husband. This love affair is with ‘Nawlins, my friends. And what better day to blog about it from the rooftops, if you will, than on Fat Tuesday? So for this week, Time to Cry Tuesday will be replaced with No Time, in celebration of Mardi Gras.

If you have been following along here at i could cry, you would know that I have become quite infatuated with all things New Orleans. Hating to be cliché and ride the post-Superbowl wave, but timing is everything. At the same time that the Saints took center stage I visited The Big Easy for the first time. And I am still trying to figure out how I could live 50(ouch) years without ever visiting a place that is so aligned with my essence.

The season of New Orleans has come, and who deserves it more. The spirit of the place has survived one of the worst natural disasters on American soil, and it still comes bubbling up, sticking it’s tongue out with a big wide drunken grin screaming ‘ain’t nobody gonna beat dem Saints – who dat, who dat!”

When we visited, the streets could spontaneously break out into song and a turn down a little alleyway could bring us upon the most spectacularly off beat gallery. A place truly built on art and music, this town is irreverent, ballsy, and quirky. And even better, it seems to not put all that much value on botox, brands or bank accounts. Um, does this sound like anyone to you guys? Are you starting to see the resemblance?

This past Saturday night we had a blast at the 4th Annual Nolafunk Mardi Gras Ball at Le Poissin Rouge on Bleeker Street. We went to see Bonerama perform but loved Tab Benoit as well. I am sure Big Sam’s Funky Nation was just as– well – funky, but a few hours of 95° heat, dancing, singing and crowds was enough for us.

I stood near the stage with those horns blowing, behind the world’s oldest hippie, the costumed characters marching through the crowds, feeling like this mass of humanity was one big living breathing party organism and it was impossible to not fall madly in love. Somewhere around the second chorus of Aiko I lost my voice and could not care less.

The thing about the New Orleans culture is that it is all-inclusive. The crowd at this show was not one of posers, or rockers, blues guys or jazz aficianodos, these people were not skinny or fat, young or old… this was a crowd of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. There is something about that music that brings everyone together in one place for one reason and one reason only – to have an amazing time. To love life even when it sucks. To get out there and feel the joy of the music no matter what your troubles are when you leave. Not just survivors, but more soldiers of feel good.

I suppose if I were asked what city I would most want to be, I might just have to say New Orleans.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 2, 2010 · 4:24 pm

Lazy is the new productive

I made this my Facebook status today and it was immediately well received. Made me ponder that maybe I was on to something.

Think about it.

All year long we race around, make lists, disappoint ourselves with never completing everything we set out to do in a day. Why? For what reason do I set myself up for hyper-productivity? Like I am a better person if all the laundry is done and my closets are cleaned at the end of a weekend day? Yeh, right. Who cares if maybe the blueberries in the fridge are a little on the fuzzy side (ok, maybe my daughter since she did mention tossing them) — we could think of them as pets instead of food. Kind of like domestic multi-use.

I worked with someone once who told me a clean desk was the sign of a sick mind. Maybe everything done and in order all the time is not such a big deal. Maybe it is actually a losing a battle. Maybe an ever evolving to-do list is ok. Maybe sometimes we need to shut up and shut down in order to rest up to push that bolder back up the hill when we have no other choice. Perhaps the doing nothing piece is a way of letting the brain slow down to gear up again. This is a completely different way of thinking for someone like me. I am usually a moving target.

I won’t lie, lying around is not usually my thing. If I am not productive for too long a period of time I start to feel lousy. But there is something to be said for lounging in bed and reading a book, staying in your pajamas till 3:00 (or 4, or 5), drinking a little too much (define ‘too much’) and just hanging out. Hey, my kids seem to think that it is a full time job. I wonder what they would do if I moved the couches out of the house.

My point? I guess it would be that having a couple of weeks at the end of the year to lose the scheduling and the frenzy and just be lazy can have its benefits. First, for someone like me, at the end of all this I am dying to be productive again. But while I am still in it I am starting to take some pleasure in being a slug.

My family, on the other hand, wants to know why we don’t have any ______ (fill in the blank) left in the house.

Hey, you guys all drive…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 31, 2009 · 7:03 pm

Blue Moon

You know, like once in a…

Apparently we have one tonight. How lovely for New Year’s Eve. This is the first New Year’s Eve blue moon since 1990. There will not be another for 19 years. That must make this an awfully special new year. Should I howl or something?

A blue moon, by definition, is when a second full moon happens in a calendar month. To those of us who are more romantic, I would say that perhaps it means something is in the air.

So go out there, be safe, and pay attention. Maybe this is a sign. Perhaps something amazing is about to happen your life.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 28, 2009 · 8:54 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The family you choose

We are very fortunate Jews; very fortunate indeed, as we are invited to a most amazing Christmas every year with our dearest friends. I wrote about this last year but I can’t help but post again about an evening that is so very special to our family.

Seated in one room were  members of four families, one friend of the boys and the boyfriend of my girl. The ‘kids’ table was now populated with 14 to 20-year-olds!

As we all took our seats, the vision of all those young adults took my breath away. Some in High School, others about to go off to college, still others scattered in universities across the country, some about to go off on semester abroad adventures, were the finicky eaters and meltdown whiners of Christmas’ past. Was it not just yesterday that the girls put on their famous dance show in front of the fireplace while the boys bounced balls incessantly through the house? Did we not pajama the kids before we went home a few short years ago?

And it’s amazing how we don’t look a day older. (ok, we had a lot of wine with dinner).

It is never a bad idea to count your blessings during the holiday season. So much time is spent on rushing around to make it all perfect, when the truth is, by nature of the players it already is.

Thank you once again to my dear wife friend, Joanne, who makes a holiday like no other. Go figure that the skinniest, most fit woman I know would also be the best cook! She gave me the little framed picture above this post long ago and I keep in on my desk to thank my lucky stars for the day her husband brought her into my life (and believe me, he dated many women I would not have been all that happy sharing my life with, most of whom I remember and he does not).

I am doubly blessed to have a real family that I would choose anyway and an extended family of friends that I would throw myself in front of a train for.

Happy holidays to you all. Count your friends as your blessings for without them nothing is all that important.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 26, 2009 · 11:19 pm

Eat. Drink. Sleep. Repeat.

Holiday weekends can be so stressful. There is all that food and alcohol, and lying on the couch and changing of channels, reading of books and turning of pages. How the hell do you get anything done in this atmosphere?

Oh right, that is the whole point.

Hard to get used to being so lazy, but I am not going to lie, it’s not all that bad.

Hope you are all getting some heavy doses of family and friends, laced with enough food and drink to make you feel good and guilty come Monday. Don’t worry, there is plenty of time to be productive and sensible, for now, just enjoy it.

Sorry, I have to go now. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is starting and the beginning is the best part.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photos from outside the comfort zone..

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December 24, 2009 · 11:37 am

From a Jew on Christmas

Ho. Ho. Ho. Or for you kvetchy jews out there like the lady on the deli line in the market yesterday: Oy. Oy. Oy.

Forget religion for a moment and let’s talk about the holiday season and what it does to people. To that crazy lady:

What the hell were you thinking yelling at that little old lady behind you?

Granted she might have been crowding you a bit, or perhaps she might have been a little cranky, but your outburst was embarrassing to me, I would hope it was to you afterwards. And then it spawned another little scuffle at the head of the line. Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but no matter how old I get I am still from the school of respect your elders, no matter how much they may annoy you.

PEOPLE, what is up? It is the holiday, you are in an upscale market in a beautiful suburb and you can afford to shop here and hopefully your ‘stress’ is probably just how you will get all that food on the table hot. So catch a grip, chill out and grab a little holiday spirit and perhaps a drink or two to calm that mood and try to enjoy! And act civil to one another, for G-d sake!

Ok, so perhaps she had more stress than the hot food thing. And maybe everyone is a little edgier trying to make believe life is all warm and fuzzy in these not so warm and fuzzy times. But this woman? Yikes, what an outburst. Kind of like that Network, “I’m as mad as hell and I am not going to take this anymore!” kind of thing.

My reaction? I turned to the woman behind me and promised not to fight with her. I told her I would never use that tone with anyone I was not married to. It gave her a good laugh and we of saner (and I use that term loosely) temperaments went on our merry shopping way hoping to learn from this lesson that we should do unto others and all that crap.

I can only top this with the facebook post from my friend Amy S yesterday:

Person ahead of me with a “Choose Civility” bumper sticker on the car just cut someone off and ran a red light.

Yeh, there are all sorts of hypocrites out there.

So to all my friends who are not hypocrites but instead wonderful people who appreciate all they have and would never yell at little old ladies (unless perhaps they gave birth to them), here is wishing you a Merry Christmas if this is your holiday. And if not, I hope you are as lucky as we are to share the holiday with friends.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 11, 2009 · 11:22 pm

A New York State of Hannukah

This week I had a little tantrum about the insensitivity of the Rite Aid chain in not selling Hannukah wrapping paper in a town with 4 synagogues. (by the way, to date not a soul from Rite Aid has contacted me so either they have no social media prescense, foolish, or they hate me.) I have also voiced my opinion about the ridiculous holiday focused CBS Cares PSAs for pap smears and prostate cancer screenings.

This same week, my dear sweet friend sent a similar email rant about a food store in town that did not sell Hannukah candles. To add insult to injury the guy in the store sent her down an aisle where she found, not Hannukah candles, but Yarzheit ones. (um, bud, we use them when people have died, Hannukah, not so much). Then my friend Jessica Gottlieb went on a rant about Disney and it’s of sensitivity to Jewish Holidays.

These sort of things come up every year. The stores and municipalities bombard us with Christmas decorations, music, lights and those annoying as hell Santas ringing the bells on every corner. The other night the one in front of Lord and Taylor in Garden City was talking on the cell phone when I went in the store, and still yapping when I came out. Ho. Ho. Ho. But Hannukah, even in areas with a large concentration of members of the tribe, is often overlooked.

Tonight, I would like not to bitch, but to thank the city of NY for lighting the beloved Empire State Building in blue and white. Hey, after the tie-dye Grateful Dead lights it seems only fair. And another shout out to Senator Orin Hatch, a mormon, who has gotten some decent press about his writing of Hannukah songs. Way to be interfaith, Mr. Hatch.

So for this first night of Hannukah, I wish you all a happy festival of lights. And the hope that next year Rite Aid and the food market will wise up and stock some holiday supplies for us all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 6, 2009 · 8:46 pm

Overheard while shopping

Since I am no fan of shopping I try my best to do little things to entertain myself while suffering through the task.

This weekend I decided to write down some shopping observances. The craziest thing about shopping now is that most people walk around with a bluetooth in their ear and appear to be either talking to themselves, or to you, which is rather embarrassing when you try to answer. I get the bluetooth in the car, but is it unsafe to operate a shopping cart while holding a phone?

Here are my favorites:

1. Husband: There is no way we are buying Transformers. You buy one toy and then they play with it and it turns into something completely different!

Wife: (leering at him like he was an insane person) I think that is the whole point.

2. Crazy bluetooth woman: I can’t talk to you right now. No, I can’t talk to anyone until I find that damn talking dog! (just another woman who lost the holiday spirit and her last nerve hours before).

3. Young preganant wife to her husband pushing an overflowing shopping cart: It is not the kids’ fault that money is tight. (oh man, I see big credit card debt in their future).

4. Crazy bluetooth man on phone with wife: What did you want me to get again? (guys, don’t worry if you think that is you, that could be every husband)

And this one is my absolute favorite:

5. Clerk at small neighborhood toy store speaking very loud 10 minutes before store closing: As soon as these customers leave we can lock the back door and close up. (there could not possibly have been an owner present. This was after she told me what a slow day they had and blamed it on the rain).

I will have one little rant here because, well because this is my blog and where else would I rant. I would like someone from Rite Aid corporate to contact me and tell me why a town of approximately 32,000 residents with 4 synagogues and two Rite Aids does not sell Hannukah wrapping paper? Seriously people, that little self-shipper tower with a few candles, dreidels and shopping bags does not cut it. Get your act together and put out some wrapping paper for the tribe, will you?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 2, 2009 · 9:36 pm

What to get those ‘difficult’ people on your list

Oh please forgive me this post, but I could not help myself. A quick stop into Urban Outfitters today (no Jana this had NOTHING to do with your Hannukah gifts) and I came across these on the sale table. (can’t image why they were not a sell out).


I am only sorry I did not buy the whole lot of them.

The fact that they sell these does not surprise me. Keep in mind their demographic. And they sell a fart book with sound for goodness sake.

So, if there is a douche bag or two in your life (Ronni, I am thinking you might want to buy a set for that next PTA meeting) or an asshole you just can’t avoid having to buy a gift for, these would come in mighty handy.

I particularly like the design of the asshole plates, that diminishing spiral ending in what suggests to be the asshole of the plate is simply perfect. I am just a little stumped trying to figure out what you could serve on these.

I really think I need to go back and buy them…

Oh, and if you were thinking there is something wrong with your screen, no worries, it is in fact snowing on this blog and will be till January 4th. (you gotta love WordPress!)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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