June 5, 2009 · 9:06 pm

I Bring You the Mangroomer

ManGroomer

Yes, my friends, this is one of those items you do not just pass by at Bed, Bath & Beyond. You must stop, pull out your camera and get a shot of this baby. Prominently displayed, I might add. Probably as a Father’s Day promo.

My favorite part of this package is, of course, the circled areas. Note that this is not even remotely anatomically correct. Perhaps this should be called the Eunuch Groomer.

Of course I had to hop over to their website for a little more info. They sport the tagline of the month: ‘Maintain Yourself’. Oh, how I wish I had written that one.

They also make the ‘essential do-it-yourself electric back shaver’. For whom? A double jointed gymnast. How the hell are you supposed to reach your back with this thing? Oh wait, I believe it has a ‘fully extendable and adjustable handle’.

And thank goodness they have a companion nose and ear hair trimmer.

But my fave remains the Private Body Shaver. If you click on no other links on this post you must click on this one for it is the FAQ section on this product. My fave? #7. Does the MANGROOMER Private Body Shaver work for tall and large men?  I don’t get that, do tall guys have surpersonic personal hair?

I would have loved to have been in the focus group for this sucker!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 4, 2009 · 9:08 pm

Without a Paddle

shit-creek

Whoever sent me this (Jo, was it you?) please forgive me for not remembering.

After a little searching I found that you can buy this image here. And there is a business or two with the name Shit’s Creek Paddles. I like this one the best.

This has been that kind of week and I thought I would share this image with those of you who have had the same. As soon as I find directions to this place I will share them with you all. Until then, folks, looks like we are on our own.

Here’s wishing you all a happy Friday. Thanks goodness the weekend is upon us. My hopes for this one is to end the groundhog’s day and have some fun.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 3, 2009 · 4:51 pm

Pii Pii for the Wii? No way!

Yes way. Thanks to a client, this was brought to my attention (yes, my clients are as warped as I am). The Japanese, being big fans of both penises and toilets, have developed a peeing game for the Wii.

Girls strap on the belt harness and insert the Wiimote to play the game.

Here are some of my favorite product features (with commentary, of course) from the thinkgeek post about this product:

• Video Game for Nintendo Wii Provides a Virtual Peeing Experience (the perfect gift for the girl who has everything, including a bad case of penis envy)

• Amazing Realistic Pee Fluid Dynamics (you have to watch the video to fully appreciate this. BTW this girl really sucks at this game)

• Over 100 different peeing environments with multiple toilet and urinal styles (lovely feature)

Oh, and this one I love:

• Up to two players can compete with dueling pee streams (sword fights for girls, how inclusive!)

The text on the packaging boasts that this product ‘promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing’. Funny, I have always told my daughter that the only thing that she could not do that boys could was pee standing up.

I guess those days are over and we have finally reached true equality. Now we can pee on the damn glass ceiling if we want to.

You go girls!

(as an aside, today someone referred to me as ‘the diva of the absurd and silly’. I am happy to carry that title proudly)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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June 2, 2009 · 8:59 pm

File this Under Fugly

ugly-givenchy

This is real. We are actually supposed to be excited that we can buy these hideous shoes on sale. Big sign, ‘Luxury Designer $199.95’ ‘Compare at $215.00’. They are kidding right? Huge savings of $15.05! Was this a mistake?

I put these in the same category as the article about chipped nail polish being fashionable.

The sign might not have been one but the shoe design surely was. These could be the ugliest PLASTIC shoes on earth. Givenchy, I expect more from your shoe designers. I don’t claim to be a fashionista, but I know fugly when I see it.

Maybe this is why they wound up in the discount shoe store.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 1, 2009 · 11:19 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Who is That Man?

jr-prom-prep

This picture simply kills me;  brings me right down to my Mommy knees. I walked in on Danny getting ready for the Junior Prom and this moment took my breath away. He rolled his teenaged eyes at me as I began clicking, but it mattered not. I am pretty sure he gets it under all the bravado.

This was a week of milestones. Ones that he simply glided through while my heart both swelled and ached.

A friend I have carpooled with since the boys were in pre-school called me the other day and shared a moment that summed it all up.

She said she was driving him to hebrew school for the last time, which ended this week with a Confirmation service. She looked in her rearview mirror at the young man with the hairly legs and deep voice who needed a shave. She could not help but think of the little boy with the blonde bowl haircut that she used to lift out of the car seat so many years ago.

Hey, they grow up! Back when they were little, there were those days I thought would never end. Having grown kids was not something I could fathom.

Now I turn around and think, “Hey, who is that man?”

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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May 31, 2009 · 8:11 pm

Her Senility

Her-senility

If you have every tried to upload a link to Facebook, you have seen this window before. This is a security feature on many blogs and social media applications called ‘captcha’. You are required to type the words in the box in order to continue with a comment or link. This feature helps to eliminate spam and ensures that a real live person is creating the link or comment.

The other day I was posting a blog link and these are key words that came up. This got me to wondering if the catcha words are targeted like the ads are. Will the next one I come upon be ‘need botox’? Or perhaps ‘crazy bee-otch’?

Ahhh, maybe I am just paranoid. But honestly, I am starting to embrace what appears to be the first showing of my senility.

Anyone else have a good set of keywords to share?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 30, 2009 · 10:23 pm

Department Store Buddies

headless_conversation

Walking through Bloomies today I came upon this scene. Just at the moment I was walking past these two, it appeared as if they were deep in conversation. That was until I realized that the guy in the black suit with the white bucks had no head!

It really looked like cane man was palling around with these dummies. Do you think he realized that his friend was headless? Or perhaps this guys wife is constantly chewing his ear off and he finally found someone who would listen to him.

For those who know me, I am not from the shoppers. In fact, I loathe it. I get mall head and I feel all spacey and claustrophobic when I shop. I found the camera helps keep me amused.

Here is another shot that cracked me up.

men love to shop

This was taken at DSW, a discount shoe warehouse. What the hell did this guy do that he had to make it up to his wife by going shoe shopping with her? And really, what kind of woman wants her guy with her for this activity. Hey, get some girlfriends, will you?

One of these days I am going to get arrested (or punched in the face) for taking pictures all the time. But it is a wonderful way to stay amused.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 29, 2009 · 9:17 pm

Leopard Mohawk

leapord-mohawk

These are the times when not having a camera would have been a cryin’ shame. Danny spotted this guy. And no, he was not in the East Village, he was right in the center of our sleepy little hamlet.

I love his creativity, and marvel at the beautiful execution.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 28, 2009 · 4:03 pm

Vaigra Soft?!!

viagra_SoftTabs

No, I did not make this one up. This is a generic version of Viagra in a soft tab form. Apparently these were designed for those who can’t get it up or swallow. (I know, cheap shot, but admit that was funny).

I received an email today with a ridiculous subject line: ‘Look for my cell around’ from a sender named Chauncey. Under the headline ‘80% Discount’ with a Canadian Pharmacy banner was a row of pills:

Viagra, Cialis, Levitra,Tamiflu (apparently the swiney is as hot as erectile dysfunction these days), Viagra Soft and Cialis Soft.

Um, BRANDING rules folks! Viagra and Cialis S-O-F-T. I think we have a little problem with messaging here. I do a ton of work in Pharma, we change things day in and day out. How the hell did this one come to pass? (again, no pun intended).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 27, 2009 · 8:46 pm

Free Chocolate

free-chocolate

Can you think of anything better than free chocolate? I was in Staples, of all places, and saw this sign in front of the register. Of course I whipped out my camera when I saw this. I find the idea of buying chocolate and then sending in a rebate kind of silly but I like the premise. Just as I was about to take this picture, the friendly cashier stuck his little head in and wanted to be in the shot. He acted like he was kidding but I knew he really wanted his picture taken. So I took and and here he is.

staples-worker

Don’t you just love this guy. Whenever I visit this Staples he always has a smile on his face. Today, while he was ringing me up I was having a conversation with my friend. This fellow not only eavesdropped, he jumped right in and gave his opinions. Funny, I did not think twice about it but when we got in the car my friend was hysterical that I invited him into our talk as if it were the most natural thing on earth.

Hey, what can I say, I like the guy.

Wait, wasn’t this supposed to be about free chocolate?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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