September 13, 2009 · 8:49 pm

Hijack this blog

born-to-blog

There is nothing like good friends. Even ones who threaten to hijack your blog. Who better to take over and pseudo guest post than the infamous First Thursdays?

These divas throw a hell of a birthday celebration. Check out the framed picture above that they had done for me. (Fyi, I blog under my maiden name, but I First Thursday under the married one).

I think I look pretty good on Springsteen’s body. Just to give you an idea of how diverse we are, I photoshopped the last person onto Giselle’s body. Hey, whatever blows your hair back, right?

In honor of the last day in my 40s I give you some suggestions that were made for blog reworking, along with some other comical writings that were part of my birthday roast – First Thursday style:

Blog Days:

Time to get out of the basement Monday

Time to cry Tuesday (and oldie but goodie)

Time to leave the zip code Wednesday

Time for a little laugh Thursday

Time to vent Friday (this could be a great one)

Time to workout Saturday

and a favorite for all the husbands out there, mine for sure:

Time for “a little head would be nice” Sunday.

And since all you readers know me pretty well by now, I will share their “top ten things Amy will never do now that she is 50 list”

1. Go to spin class (safe bet)

2. Play tennis with Jo (safer bet, she would kill me)

3. Have lunch at the club (I should be so lucky to get out of that one – the minimum haunts me)

4. Go to Bergdorf’s with Maddee and Michelle (ok, I admit it, I did say I thought Berdgorf’s closed. I had a moment of confusion with Bonwits, so shoot me)

5. Go to South Beach with the First Thursday Girls (sorry girls, montauk maybe, south beach, not so much)

6. Discuss again… to be rich or thin? (don’t ask)

7. (this one I will omit to protect the innocent(ish) Hey, we all still have to live in this town!)

8. Not blog or tweet for the day. (Why would I consider this? Jeez!)

9. Get out of the basement (this one I am starting to do, I swear)

10 BOTOX! (this one is a given)

Thank you, my friends, for a great night from the women who will always keep me on my toes and will NEVER let me fall. I love you all!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 12, 2009 · 11:11 pm

Not Your Mother’s Ken Doll

ken-dude

I saw this surfer dude ken doll in a window in Madison. He is frighteningly lifelike even with those funky joints. I don’t remember my Ken dolls having facial hair and a pony tail.

So, do you think that he is anatomically correct? And what is up with the fish? Is this an amphibian dude or is that a dead fish?

And why are they in the window of an eyeglass store?

Just asking?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 11, 2009 · 6:40 pm

May the bird of happiness…

hat-with-bird-crap

… crap on your hat?!

Yeh, that would be seagull slime on my favorite WFUV.org  baseball cap. As my mom would say, “It’s good luck!”

What is that? When a bird craps on you, people tell you it is good luck as if that is some sort of consolation for being crapped on? (sorry Mom)

The day before our wedding Gary was walking up Madison Avenue and a bird crapped on his designer suit. My mother told him it was good luck.

He may beg to differ 24 years later. Just saying.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky in this instance because about 2 minutes earlier that hat was in my beach bag. Could have been a lot worse.

Me: Hey, something just fell on my head, like an acorn or something.

Riki: Um, no a bird just crapped on your head. Hey it’s good luck!

Yeesh!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 10, 2009 · 11:34 pm

Got Mooovers?

marrins-moooving

First, yes that is the front of my car in the bottom of the screen and yes I shot this while I was driving. With all the talk of texting and driving hazards I am embarrassed to admit that but you know this being a blog of full disclosure and all…

Please don’t judge me. Thanks.

So there I was driving down the LIE the other morning after a meeting and this moving truck pulled up next to me. Or shall I say this M-O-O-VING truck. I was first struck by the cow motif as I have an affinity for all things bovine. Jana’s nursery had a cow border and ever since I have loved them. Then I noticed the name and scrambled through my bag for that damn camera. I first took a shot of the back but then came up alongslide and caught the phone number and had to get this angle. 1-877-270-COWS?

Brilliant.

This is surely not as cool, but does rival Mambo Movers. (They have a logo with a rhino being stuffed in a truck).

So, Marrin’s Movers, here is my little plug for your biz. I have no idea how good you are at moving crap, but your truck gave me a smile.  And a little strategic advice, carry your cow motif over to your website, it could use a little refresh.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 9, 2009 · 8:42 pm

Putting the Fun in Funfetti

funfetti

Around these parts Funfetti cupcakes are the bomb. Pillsbury makes this mix with cool colored morsels in the cake mix and frosting. For as long as I can remember, my kids’ friends have been obsessed with Funfetti.

The week that my son came home from camp I made sure to make a batch when the boys came over. By some miracle there were still a few left over, so I left them in a container on the counter.

I arrived home the other day and noticed a piece of green note paper in with the cupcakes. The picture above is what I found. Similar to the famous initialed banana in my fruit bowl, these boys have a way of letting me know they were here.

There are times when 17-year-old boys can all but break your heart. This is one of them. Just when you thought that perhaps you were invisible, they make you realize that you are anything but.

I texted my son to tell Mark that I loved him too, and to let him know that these cupcakes were probably better 2 weeks ago when I baked them. (hopefully I did not poison the poor kid).

Thank you Mark C, for the sweet reminder that the little things do not go unnoticed.

(now, Pillsbury, let’s see how good your social media monitoring is)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 8, 2009 · 7:47 pm

Melanie Oudin, you can thank me

APTOPIX US Open Tennis

(AP Photo/Paul J. Bereswill)

For those who missed my post about women’s tennis last week please read it here before you continue.

Yeh, I pretty much single-handedly called out Melanie Oudin and challenged her to rise to the occasion and kick some foreign butt. Of course I had no idea who she was last week – not unlike the rest of the country – tennis loving or otherwise. But, hey, I think it was a little more than a coincidence that I wrote this and then she came out of nowhere. (yes, I am delusional. please don’t hold that against me, it is part of my charm)

If you did not read or click above, here is the scoop. I – the last person you would expect – wrote a post last Wednesday asking why there were no American women (besides Williams squared) in the US Open this year. On Friday night my friend Yogamom came up to me at the bar and said, “Hey, I read your post on tennis the other day. Did you hear about the 17-year- old American who shook up the Open?” My response was something to the extent of, “Seriously, do you really think I follow tennis?” Sorry Yogamom, I just could not resist that answer.

Low and behold, a few days later and this kid is all over the news to the point where even I can’t miss her. AND, now I actually want to watch her play!

As EXTRA put it tonight, “She has taken down more Russian women this week than James Bond“. (oh how I love that line and wish I had written it myself)

Good luck, Melanie! (oh, and you’re welcome) I’ll be watching. (I think)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 7, 2009 · 7:55 pm

Time To Cry Tuesday – Penny

penny-nelson

Here is one for all you dog lovers out there.

Meet Penny. This past week she proved that poodles are no wussy dogs here on the peninsula. Her hairless sister has been featured here on Time To Cry Tuesday, and now it is her turn.

Take a look at that face. Ferocious? Perhaps not. She may actually look a little sleepy (or stoned – sorry El) in this picture. But in reality, Penny is the hero of the week in our sleepy little town.

Below is an email I received from her owner:

As you all know, I love my dog very much. With that said…

Yesterday, after being out for about two hours, I came home to find six police cars in front of my house. I walked over to one of the officers and asked what was wrong. He quietly took me over to my house and said there had been a break-in in several houses on my block and that he needed to walk with me through my house to see if this guy – who by the way was caught – had gotten in.

As we walked into my house I was greeted by my dog’s obnoxious barking and big smile. She was fine. As we walked through we realized that the burglar had not gotten in. Thank goodness.

But unfortunately he had gotten into the homes of seven of my neighbors. When I asked the police officer why he thought my house did not get hit, he said, you are holding her in you hands.

With that said, I love my dog even more than ever, all nine pounds of her! She got big treats last night and slept close to me becuase in my eyes she was a big time watch dog yesterday. And my hero.

So in honor of Penny, here is something to think about:

There was one of those heart-wrenching stories about a dog that dies and a kid’s perspective at the end of her email that I will not include in its entirety because of its length. I will, however, leave you with my favorite parts. Forgive my abbreviation (or thank me for it).

If a dog was a teacher you would learn things like:

Never pass up the opportunity for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you are not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Now go give your dog (or cat. or fish.) a hug and thank them for reminding you of all this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 6, 2009 · 10:29 pm

Attractively Belligerent

Actual phone call with a friend on Friday Morning:

Me: Is it too early to drink?

Him: Hmmm, 9:30 am. Maybe a Sombrero, you know, something with Kalhua in it to have that coffee thing. On second thought I am sorry, I would say that you would have to acknowledge that you have a problem if you did.

Me: Yeh, I was afraid of that. And if YOU say it is too early to drink then I know it is.

Him: I suppose. So what is wrong that you need a drink at 9:30 in the morning?

Me: Nothing, just a trying work week.

Conversation continues and I suppose I had just a bit more of an edge than usual.

Him: You are a bit belligerent today.

Me: Oh no, really?

Him: Yes, but attractively billigerent.

And that, my friends, is true friendship! (thanks Dave)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 4, 2009 · 11:25 pm

West and Welaxation

Elmer_Fudd

My name is Elmer J. Fudd, I own a mansion and a yacht.

Wait, no it isn’t, I must have just had a Looney Toons flashback. So sorry about that.

So this is the big weekend, the official last weekend of summer. The last time we are allowed to wear white. Is that still true? will one of my fashonistas please clarify that for me?

As you can tell, I am tired and 2 vodkas to the wind, so this blog is about absolutely nothing.

Which is exactly what I plan on doing this weekend.

Whatever you choose to do, try to get some fresh air and relax. And please, be careful out there.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 3, 2009 · 8:50 pm

The Magnet For The Absurd (MFTA)

I have always noticed the oddities out there in the world. Even before this blog became the catch-all for all things crazy, they always found me.

Now that I have deemed myself the Magnet For the Absurd it seems to have stuck. In the last 2 weeks people have sent me all sorts of oddly humorous and offbeat things, via every technology possible. I thought it would be fun to share a few.

This came from an old friend via email:

Driving cross country. Now in arizona.  Just passed a billboard and thought of you: Ostrich Eggs. Meteorites. 50% off.

This was from a friend via Facebook:

I thought of your photos and your blog yesterday while passing through Frenchtown on our way home from Elon U. . . we noticed a street sign stating ” Saturday is cancelled” — found it to be funny . . . and maybe something I should send along to my two kids away at school?!

And these two pics came via text message from Sedona:

ufo-store

I particularly love the ‘Est. Before Mankind’. Nice touch.

alien

These submissions prove to me that people do see the absurdities out there, they simply never had a place to share them.

I am happy to be that place, so keep ’em coming!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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