Category Archives: Uncategorized

I Could Cry Turns 2!

Yes folks, today is my second blogaversary. A lot of celebrations in this house this week.

It all started with this description and this post about Spanx, Dunkin Donuts and the Fear of YouTube. Not gonna lie, that still makes me laugh and I worry that I won’t ever be that funny again.

Uh oh, you are thinking. This blog is now entering the Terrible Twos, what will this crazy old hag come up with next? Don’t worry. It will probably more of the same. Where else can you read about everything from the sublime to the absurd with a few tears every Tuesday thrown in for good measure?

The thing is, this blog – and all of you – have become so much a part of my daily life that I can’t quite imagine what I would do with all this stuff if I did not put it here. And when I go to Florida for the second time in one month and receive countless emails asking if everything is OK with our parents I realize that ‘my crazy satanic blog friends’, as Gary would call them, have added richness to my life and many have become good friends in real life.

So, no shot I am closing this baby down just yet.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, humor, humor

I just think monsters are so interesting

This is one of my favorite Bugs Bunny cartoons of all times.

And if you ever sleep over my house (no this is not an open invite) you might hear me quote the title of this post when I emerge from brushing my teeth first thing in the morning. I have extremely thick hair, and for some reason after a night’s sleep it has a tendency to take on the shape of the monster’s head.

Ok, not really sure why I shared that one, but hey, I know Jeanne is going to love this post because it was her favorite Bugs Bunny too (AND she has seen my hair like that but was too polite to mention it).

UPDATE: Could not resist kiddies. Since there are so many of you that seem to love this one (even quoting lines, Celia, very impressive). Enjoy Everyone!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, humor, humor

It’s Privacy, Not Brain Surgery

Credit: Moronail.net

Over the past few weeks I have had conversations ad nauseum – online as well as IRL (in real life) – surrounding online privacy. I touched on it with a post about targeted advertising last week.

There have been articles written about the big bad online world that is out to steal everything that we hold dear to us and create our likeness as pod-people in some Invasion of the Body Snatchers fashion.

Ok, kiddies, as the picture above that a friend of mine (thanks Kevin) put up the other day on facebook says:

Everyone Calm the Fuck Down.

(Sorry for the profanity, I mean I am listed as a mom blogger in many places. But hey, my kids have heard my foul mouth before and they are old anyway. But I will apologize to my own mom here because she is way too classy to every talk this way)

Perhaps it is time to stop. And think. And be smart about what parts of ourselves we are putting up on the internet, whether we think they are ‘private’ or not.

This article from Techcrunch is not only hysterical, but right on the money and what I preach daily to my kids. (who sometimes listen and sometimes don’t). If you don’t want to click over (and I highly recommend that you do, especially if you find the whole social web confusing) the basic premise is this:

DON’T POST ANYTHING ONLINE THAT YOU DON’T WANT EVERYONE TO SEE OR KNOW.

Period.

Don’t shop online or search the web if you don’t want your interests and buying habits captured.

Period.

The first piece, well this post is probably not the wisest morsel of myself to put out there but hey, I use more than one name so I should be ok, I will switch to the other one for my ‘serious’ life. And the second piece is sort of unrealistic if you want to take advantage of the convenience and wealth of knowledge that the web provides.

I am sure there will be many a lawyer making many a dollar over the next few years after legislation catches up with the paranoia machine. So hooray for that new opportunity.

Bottom line: with all new technologies we lose something to gain something.

Now can we chill on the privacy thing for awhile?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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TV at the Pump

I filled my tank the other day at a Gulf station near home and there were TVs at every pump.

With customized content, no less. NBC @ the pump?

Seriously, do we really need to watch TV in yet another place?

I live in a fairly TV dependent household and I am a person who could take or leave it. But at the pump? I don’t know, maybe it just gives people another place for some bite-sized content and it is not so bad.

Me? I kind of always got a nice mesmerizing buzz from watching the numbers race by when I filled up.

Your thoughts?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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My fibroid history and targeted advertising

Arghh! You are saying. (exactly how do you pronounce arghh?) Do we really need to know about her friggin’ fibroid history? Do we really care about the dirty little details of her aging reproductive tract?

Actually, no you don’t. But apparently facebook did because they saw it fit to target me with this ad for a fibroid clinical trial.

Do I have fibroids? Not anymore because I had those babies yanked out about 4 years ago with my uterus if you really must know. (oh jeez, is there no end to this level of discomfort?) Good news: I can wear white pants whenever I want. I digress.

The question is, did facebook’s magic algorithm figure to target me with a fibroid trial because of my age, or because fibroids have been mentioned more than once on this very blog? (this blog is listed in networked blogs on facebook)

One will never really know the answer to that or the other mind-boggling questions of the universe. But it is safe to say either one or both of those could have gotten that ad on my page.

The reason I have chosen to share all this with you now is that it comes at such a timely juncture in our online lives; in a week where facebook’s ‘invasion’ of our privacy has been questioned ad nauseum. Users are in an uproar about how much of their profile information will be shared.

Well, the reality is kiddies, the info is out there for the taking. Not just on facebook, but all over the web. This article by Micheal Bush in Ad Age illustrates quite well how a digital profile can be gathered without much effort. Public information, as they say. Creepy, on some level but really who cares?

What are we afraid of? Well, me? I am not afraid of a whole hell of a lot. I don’t want to have my identity stolen and I don’t want to be stalked by creeps in real life. I agree with Micheal Bush, I don’t think that is the goal of marketers. Their goal is to reach their target market; the very people that are most likely to be their customers. To me, that’s not so terrible. Because if I had a facebook ad for string bikinis on my page I would only become depressed that my fibroid/uterus free body has no business squeezing into one. Or if you would be more mundane, I would not like to see ads for diapers.

I am both too old and thankfully too young to be buying any kind of diapers real soon.

Do you get where I am going with this? Does the fact that I have been in the business of marketing brands for the past (never mind how many) years taint my opinion? Maybe. Does my love (read obsession) for social media further color my feeling about this? Hell yeh.

Personally, I sort of think it is worth it to give up a little false sense of privacy to have the access to this kind of information. On a serious note, when I was trying to decide what to do about those damn fibroids, I would have welcomed the information that ad was offering me. (instead of torturing poor Dr. Judy for weeks about what I should do. Thanks again Jude, I will never forget your patience, I owe you a drink)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, facebook, facebook ads, health, humor, social media, trends

I heart my WHAT gum?

This one gets the MFTA tag because I was waiting on line to pay at a store today and was called over to the cashier on the completely opposite side of the counter from where I was standing. Why? Because in the ‘impulse buy’ rack at that counter would be the very last pack of…

I heart my penis gum. It was fate!

Yep, kiddies, this little package is the real deal. It contains ‘8 pieces of artificially flavored fruit chewing gum’ (why fruit?)

I told the cashier that I would have bought 10 packs if they had them and she told me they can’t keep this stocked. Seriously, is there a guy you know that you COULDN’T by this for?

You know how they all feel about them. And then there are the guys that refer to their penises as ‘the little guy’ or ‘little ____ (fill in their name in the blank)‘, ‘or he’ as in ‘he wants ____ (again fill in the blank)‘ as if there is a separate brain sitting down there in their pants. (which I guess there is).

No, guys, this is not a penis bashing post, you have to admit there is truth in all this. And do you really think you would ever see ‘I love my Vagina’ gum for sale. I think not. Maybe Gary can market the ‘I love my Hey-Nanny-Nanny gum, though.

Ok, so perhaps most men would prefer us to give them the ‘I love your penis’ but somehow I don’t think it would be as big a seller.

This is equally as entertaining as the Sexlet gum I found in South Beach and the Does this gum make my ass look big gum that I received as a gift.

I guess you could say I am the Magnet for the Absurd Gum (MFTAG).


Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at
50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, body image, humor, magnet for the absurd, photography, sex

21 years ago today…

… I took off my jewelry and nail polish, did not wear any make up, and marched into the hospital for a scheduled c-section.

I liked to think of it at the time as the Jewish girl’s version of natural childbirth.

You see, the strong-willed, confident, decided personality of my amazing daughter were the very traits that kept that little breech baby from turning around in utero. Even after an external version, which in my opinion is not a valid medical practice. They tried to turn her at around 8 months and on the sonogram I am pretty sure I saw her move half way around,  stick out her tongue, give us the finger, then turn right back.

It is hard for me to fathom that today I am the parent of a 21-year-old. I could ramble on with all that Sunrise, Sunset, is this the little girl I carried stuff but honestly, I don’t think Dr. Jimmy could bear it. And truthfully, I am on the verge of launching her brother.

In the name of not starting to cry now through the end of June I will remain truly happy that my girl is finishing her semester abroad and celebrating her birthday in the middle of hundreds of Flamenco dress clad women during yet another festival holiday in Sevilla.

So instead of turning this into a Time to Cry Sunday, I will use this post to ask each and every one of you out there –even the non-commenting all time lurkers – to come out of the woodwork and wish my girl, my first born, Jana, a very happy birthday. Maybe this will help make up for the fact that Fed Ex did not deliver her package in time even though I paid the national debt to get it there.

Some lame excuse about a volcano.

Anyway, Janny-girl, this is what you will find when you finally get that box.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Jana, parenting

Education and Technology – Indulge me please

140 characters conference update.

I have quite a few observations about today that I want to share but I am spent so I will post them tomorrow. Tonight I want to focus on just a couple of things.

Some of the smartest, most passionate people in the industry were in this auditorium.

I was humbled, awestruck and inspired.

And retweeted often (the highest form of twitter praise). I even made it onto bigapplechannel.com‘s trending topic top tweets. I am (almost) famous(ish) in a not so famous but it was flattering sort of way. And this was one my more sincere tweets so that’s nice.

But what I want to talk about here  was one man who rocked the room. He got a standing O! (not that O, you filthy minds, ovation but now that you mention it…)

Chris Lehmann. Click that link and you can view an extended version of the passionate speech he gave today. He is the Principal of the Science Leadership Academy in Philly. He simply blew the room right out of the water. The crowd was awestruck by his energy. It was so exciting to hear an educator this committed to embracing the technology that drives our kids. Here are but a few of the pearls that dropped out of his mouth today:

Tell a better story in school. Technology must be like oxygen: ubiquitous, invisible and everywhere.

Kids are using devices & technology in not great ways because the adults that are supposed to teach and monitor it are afraid of it.

Let’s never forget how important teachers are. its about the community. with technology we can blow out the doors.

We need to bottle @chrislehmann and distribute him to every HS in America. Kids need to learn how to think and he gets how to help them. He loves his job. He loves kids. He loves education and he was one of the most inspiring speakers I have heard in a long time.

Yeh, today was amazing!

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Filed under conversations, technology, trends, twitter

Yarmulkap. Or should it be the Yidlid?


This one comes to you from Rochelle, via her son. Thanks Ro. For those who keep asking, “Do people send you crazy stuff?” the answer would be a big fat yes. I am truly becoming the Magnet for the Absurd.

So, let’s take a look at this item. It is actually called the Yarmulkap but I am not thrilled with the name. It is one of those awkward contractions that doesn’t roll off the tongue. Now Yidlid, that has a real marketing twist, don’t you think?

This item is marketed as a combination Yamulka and a visor. For those not of the tribe the L is silent and for those really not of the tribe, this is the name for a skullcap for Jews, also known as a kippah.

Enough of the lesson in Jewish customs, I am a bit curious how the inventor of this sucker came up with this. What? A day in the park and he was wearing a baseball cap over his kippah and his head got hot? Check out this picture from the website. Love the Brooklyn Bridge. I mean, let’s face it, big concentration of observant Jews in Brooklyn, this shot could be very relatable for them, no?

Would you take a look at this for a moment and give some serious thought about how many of these will ever actually be sold? Let’s say that there are 6,489,000 in the US as of 2008 according to the US census bureau. I have to believe that there are a good chunk that don’t observe at all. Then you have Reform and Conservative, most of whom are not regular wearers of kippot (plural of kippah). Then you have to account for the kippah wearing population that will think that this item is completely RIDICUOUS because, well because it is.

So I am thinking a few hundred as gag gifts at best. What do you think?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, fashion, humor, products, trends

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Original 4

If you have been reading along these past few days you would know that I took a trip to Florida to see my parents with my brother. We left our spouses home. And our kids? Well, they aren’t kids anymore so they have their own lives and we can’t lure them places with pool noodles and water wings. Although the promise of a good ice cream sandwich and free drinks at happy hour might get them to join us.

This was a bit of a last minute trip for me and I am so glad I took it. I can count on my hand the times in the past 25 years that it has just been the 4 of us. And sadly I would have to say most of those times were not surrounding very pleasant circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, we adore having our spouses and families with us, as do our parents. But there is something very special about going back to the original family unit of your childhood for a short time. My husband did it earlier this season (well 4 of his original 5 made it) and he too, appreciated having that historical dynamic.

This was the first extended period of time that we were able to just hang out and enjoy each other’s company. For so many years our interactions centered around the kids. Our professional lives are very demanding and leave us little time to just be. Lost were the days that we could sit at a table uninterrupted and have a complete conversation. This weekend was a gift of healthy (well except for mom’s 24 hour bug) parents and time to enjoy them.

With the backdrop of South Florida’s planned communities as never ending fodder for humor we had a lot of laughs.

Funny, we sat in the back seat of my dad’s car in our childhood positions. Fortunately we did not bicker. Since my brother is 4 1/2 years older I never did stand a chance in a fight and always wound up crying or having a nose bleed (don’t ask).

Times like this are a breeding ground for childhood memories. We talked of things that were long forgotten. The simple thrill of going to work with my dad when we were kids; the smell of the subway, the pretzels on the street, the chestnuts, eating lunch at the Automat, going to Kresge’s Five and Dime to buy junk. My dad was the original Bring Your Child to Work Day guy. And not just my brother, he expected the same from me as he did from his son; no double standard in our house. We talked about my mom’s garden (and the gardener, G-d help that poor man) and how excited she is to get back to nurturing her plants.

We discussed family holidays when we were kids and how my grandmother used to bring Jordan Almonds, jellied fruit slices and Dunkin’ Donuts to our house. Beach days with the children when they were babies, and how they have all grown up to be such amazing young adults.

These are the little things that make up a life. Nothing truly monumental (although some would beg to differ about the Jordan Almonds), just the details that give us all history; lives made up not of days, but of moments.

Thanks Mom and Dad, not only for a lovely weekend, but for teaching us how to be parents. And giving us the gift of your time – whenever we have needed you.

Happy Passover (and pass me a tissue, please).

Oh and if you are all wondering, yes, that is my brother’s Bar Mitzvah picture. Cute wasn’t I? (in a mousey sort of way). Looks like something straight out of A Serious Man.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under aging parents, family, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays, travel