I heart my WHAT gum?

This one gets the MFTA tag because I was waiting on line to pay at a store today and was called over to the cashier on the completely opposite side of the counter from where I was standing. Why? Because in the ‘impulse buy’ rack at that counter would be the very last pack of…

I heart my penis gum. It was fate!

Yep, kiddies, this little package is the real deal. It contains ‘8 pieces of artificially flavored fruit chewing gum’ (why fruit?)

I told the cashier that I would have bought 10 packs if they had them and she told me they can’t keep this stocked. Seriously, is there a guy you know that you COULDN’T by this for?

You know how they all feel about them. And then there are the guys that refer to their penises as ‘the little guy’ or ‘little ____ (fill in their name in the blank)‘, ‘or he’ as in ‘he wants ____ (again fill in the blank)‘ as if there is a separate brain sitting down there in their pants. (which I guess there is).

No, guys, this is not a penis bashing post, you have to admit there is truth in all this. And do you really think you would ever see ‘I love my Vagina’ gum for sale. I think not. Maybe Gary can market the ‘I love my Hey-Nanny-Nanny gum, though.

Ok, so perhaps most men would prefer us to give them the ‘I love your penis’ but somehow I don’t think it would be as big a seller.

This is equally as entertaining as the Sexlet gum I found in South Beach and the Does this gum make my ass look big gum that I received as a gift.

I guess you could say I am the Magnet for the Absurd Gum (MFTAG).


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50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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7 Comments

Filed under absurdities, body image, humor, magnet for the absurd, photography, sex

7 responses to “I heart my WHAT gum?

  1. Orla Clancy

    Isn’t it interesting that a man can love his penis, give it a name, refer to it as ‘little him’, and talk about it as a ‘he’, but so many women refer to their vaginas as ‘down there’, and rare call it ‘her’, or refer to it as ‘little her’ …?

    And if there was a gum called I Heart My Vagina, would that sell as well? Depending on the flavour, of course?

  2. Liz

    Seriously, don’t you think that this gum should “squirt” when you chew it? Just a thought.

  3. Pingback: Kind of | i could cry but i don't have time

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