Category Archives: Uncategorized

So You Want to be in the Secret Service?

secret-service

Driving in my car today I heard a radio spot for…

The Secret Service. All I could think was, do they mean THE Secret Service? Like the White House guys? How could this be? Do they really recruit on the radio? This does not seem all that selective to me.

The spot went something like this:

“Do you want an exciting career that pays well? Have you ever considered a career in the Secret Service?”

Correct me if I am out of line here, but I seem to recall that the line after ‘Do you want an exciting career that pays well?’ is usually ‘Have you ever considered a career in air conditioning and refrigeration?’ Not that I am dissing the AC and fridge crowd here, it is an honorable living, but I think it is more likely that the everyman/woman would probably be more fit to perform that job than say…

guard the friggin’ president!

Of course I had to check out their website. The first position available:

Special Agent (what young boy does not dream of this one. I keep humming Secret Agent Man in my head now).

Damn, I wish I wrote the phone number from the commercial down!

Note to self: drop Obama a note about this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carreers, humor, politics

Do You Speak Woman?

A guy friend sent this to me and I am not gonna lie, I thought it was hysterical. Enjoy.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Pigpen and the chihuahua, separated at birth?

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For those who missed yesterday’s post, the picture on the left was featured there. In the comments, Dr Jimmy mentioned the Grateful Dead resemblance in this line-up, with Pigpen being the chihuahua.

Since many of you are not Dead fans, I thought I would post the inside flap of the Skull and Roses album with the picture he referenced (and so graciously sent me a link to). Thanks Dr. J – what slow day drilling today?

El Nel informed me that she cracked up when she saw the pet picture as it is featured everyday in Newsday. Being in suburban denial I refuse to read this Long Island newspaper even though it is quite good. (BTW, I moved out of the city 20 years ago.) The ad is for the North Shore Animal League if you were wondering.

Back to the photo. Take a look at the guy in the middle (Pigpen) and tell me this is not a separated at birth scenario.

Just plain scary!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, music, photography

Is it me, or is this creepy?

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For those who are complaining that this blog has gotten way too serious, here is something completely stupid for you. (give me a break, a couple of election and dream posts and you forget all about the week of halloween?)

I was flipping through the paper the other day and this picture was in the middle of… come to think of it I am not quite sure what section it was.

Pet classifieds? Is there such a thing?

Anyway, this picture jumped out at me for its overall bizarre quality.

First, I believe the scale is off. Either that or this is one enormous chihuahua in the middle. Second, where the hell are their bodies? That is what is so freakish about this ad. Why would this Photoshop happy artist choose to  silhouette their heads this way? Ew, I am not kidding. I am really having a hard time looking at this, yet I can’t pull myself away. It is like staring at the accident.

I am pretty sure I am going to have nightmares from this. (Note to self: don’t show this to Gary)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, pets

Oh Oh Obama!

Hard to believe but I am kind of speechless.(I said ‘kind of’).

Sitting here listening to the last speech I will have to hear from John McCain for a long, long time I am in awe of the perseverance of the man I am very proud to call my president. Let me add that McCain was quite gracious while his audience was not. As my friend Gibs just said, he was way more sincere in defeat than he was in debate.

In celebration of this historic event I am posting a part of Jana’s photo essay of the election on campus.

Yes baby girl, anything can happen. The man they said could never beat Hillary… did. The man they said could never survive the Republican attack machine… did. I am so very happy for you that your introduction to the voting process of this great nation has been so historical. (even if the mechanics in Wisconsin were kind of lame)

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Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, Jana, parenting, politics, polls, vote 08

Election Day is Not for the Faint of Heart (guest post)

Badge - 2008 election

Time to Cry Tuesday is suspended this week for Election Day. I refuse to believe that I will feel the need to cry. I will stay optimistic and hope this country will choose to evolve rather than send us careening into the abyss. That said, the following guest post is a bit harsh, so either fasten your seatbelts or check back later. Today just might prove to be a multiple post day.

This is written by a friend who is both rabid outspoken and endearing. He has spent a good portion of his career in and around political campaigns and his opinions are always fresh and sans BS, albeit crass at times. Nonetheless, when he hits a rant like the one below I sit back and enjoy the ride. (BTW, this usually is accompanied by multiple shots of Patrón – helps it go down smoother) This does not reflect my views, per se, but I sure do love to hear him spew. Damn, should have done a video of this. Inflection and facial expressions are half the fun.

Here goes: 

My advice to BO and the new gang:

Fuck the cumbaya.

Politics is a contact sport. After 8 years of getting your head beaten with a club you feel compelled to bring everyone together?  NO. NO. NO.

You must expel the philistines from the promise land… cut the head of the snake. Clear the Justice Dept. out down to the janitors. Cut the bipartisan shit. They don’t share. They don’t like you. And if you let them stay in the castle they will only endlessly plot against you until they get you… they are not us. They are not sharers. They didn’t read the Kindergarten sharing book. And they must be sent from the promised land.

If we win both houses, 60 for the filibuster. And the presidency, fuck them. And as fast as you can print new bills fix the shit storm we now find ourselves in. Give me back my civil liberties and rewrite the Patriot Act. Restore our international credibility. Let everyone know loud and clear that in 21st Century America healthcare IS A RIGHT. Start to balance the budget, and try to explain to working people and our middle class that republicans are not like them just because they believe in G-d.

But most importantly, here’s the point:

When you’ve been bullied, you have a choice. Kiss and make up or punch ’em in the nose; I say punch ’em in the nose and send them home. You stand a better chance of it not happening again… or you can be a Democrat and leave the wolves in the hen house.

And then it will be Palin in 2012.

No justice, no peace.

Wow, I feel better!

I told you he was something else, didn’t I? I am pretty sure I just lost a reader or two on that one. Or perhaps I picked up a few!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Top 10 Search Terms (vol.4)

It is that time again. The monthly list of ridiculous search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the last two you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here and Vol. 3 here. As always, I link the term to the post I think it yielded. And of course there is running commentary. Did you honestly expect me to shut up?

You can click on the terms and they will lead you to the posts that I think were found. For you email subscribers you will have to go to the page of the blog to use this function.

10. ghandi action figure An all time favorite, the Albert Einstien Action figure post. I must go look for this guy and start posing him in odd places.

9. vilma flinstone This must be the german version. 

8. how to post a vegas video on facebook Perhaps you want to think this through a little more.

7. what time can we eat on yom kippur, 2008 Jews! All we ever think about is food!

6. you tube mary black sonny don’t go away There is another post that this might have landed on, but the one linked here is my very first post EVER and I am kind of sentimental about it. Also, for those who have not read me all along, it is quite entertaining and gives you a clear picture of how insane I really am. (note to self: is this wise?)

5. don’t cry past tuesday I try to stick with this idea. Tuesday, cry all you want but come Wednesday suck it up and move on kids. I had a hard time picking my fave here but decided that this one works the best with all the uneasiness we are feeling pre-election and post-wall street apocalypse.

4. cool hand dryers Is this the Paul Newman version?

3. jeans big ass Hoping this was not anyone walking behind me.

2. black gay men with beautiful naked asses Not a clue here but I will take this opportunity to urge all my California friends to VOTE NO ON PROP 8! Give me a break CA, WTF? Reverse evolution?

1. i am a woman with a hairy back I am quite grateful that I am not.

And there you have it. Another month of absurdities brought to you by i could cry but i don’t have time. We hope you enjoyed the show. Please tune in tomorrow for election anxiety updates and a special guest post surprise!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, humor, search engine terms, searches

Sarah Palin Pranked

This could be the best thing that happened to the Obama campaign yet.The Masked Avengers of CKOI, Audette and Sebastien Trudel, staged this fake call from ‘Nicolas Sarkozy’ to Palin and she was completely clueless even as they ratcheted up the absurdities. “I wanted to see how (Palin) was on an intellectual level,” Audette said.

Not so much!

Ben Smith of Politico was one of the first to pick this up from The Canadian Press.

A candid peak into how she carries herself with a foreign president will surely make the hairs on the back of  your neck stand on end.

A few highlights:

When she gets on the phone and mistakes the assistant for Sarkozy: “It’s not him yet Bexi, I always do that.”

When discussing hunting, which Audette refers to as his ‘love for killing animals’ Palin replies “We can have a lot of fun together while we’re getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone.” At which point Audette makes a joke about not bringing Cheney and Palin offers up the fact that she is s good shot.

He mentions his special adviser to the U.S. Johnny Hallyday who is actually a french singer and actor, singer Stef Carse as Canada’s prime minister and Quebec comedian and radio host Richard Z. Sirois as the provincial premier. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know any of these guys, or the correct names, but I AM NOT FRIGGIN RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT. After all, can’t she see Canada from Alaska?

Personally, I was thrilled that she did not offer up a Sarah Palin condom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Ladies Welcome

I was driving up the west side of Manhattan the other day and stopped at a red light somewhere downtown. Yes, this is why I try to always have a camera with me.

I believe the name of the store is ‘Ladies Welcome, Come in and Shop’ but perhaps that is a directive and the store has no name.

The good news is that it is open 24 hours but please, you must be 21 and over.

The best part?

ATM inside.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under fashion, humor, trends, women

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (vol. 2)

I have written about this topic before. You can read it here.

I have always been fascinated by the different way men and women perceive things. This morning I woke up agitated from a disturbing dream. Oddly enough, so did Gary. I assume these trying times are getting to both of us.

He has often placed a request for me not to share my dreams (they scare him). Today I did not give him a chance to reject the story, he was still half asleep and emerging from his own bad dream.

Mine? He was forcing me to move to Florida and we were driving down with all our stuff. Then we were in this awful cookie cutter house with all these boxes and strange people we did not know. He was telling me that he was going to change his career, sell windows and I was a bitch for not supporting him. I was sobbing uncontrollably saying that I hate Florida (sorry Floridians, I like to visit).

His? Oh his dream was that 25% of the earth split off and was careening into space. Alrighty then, a science fiction dream.

I laughed and said this would make a perfect blog post.

Gary: You can’t do that, people will think you are crazy.

Me: Wait, you had a dream about a quarter of the earth splitting off and careening through space and you think people will consider me crazy for dreaming about a forced move to Florida?

And there you have it.

Later he said that he was on one piece of the earth and I was on the other. All I could think of was that the only way his subconscious could figure out how to get rid of me was by destroying the planet.

Kinda scary if you ask me. Note to self: sleep with one eye open.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where they are celebrating their 1 year blogaversary. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and There is no Hair in Team .

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, men, men and women, relationships, women