Category Archives: humor

September 13, 2012 · 2:57 pm

Three Stooges Dog Toys?

Yes, I am pretty sure my husband has died and gone to heaven. I brought home the Moe version for him the other day and it actually talks! Now he wants Larry and Curly. As you can see on the display, the Curlies were all sold out at the store (of course) but I can get the others here. And no, there are no Joe Bessers or Shemps. Seriously, did anyone like them?

No I was not insulting him by buying a dog toy; The Three Stooges is sort of an alternate religion in this house. (please do not think less of us). 

My kids have watched since they were little. You know, “honey, don’t worry, I will keep the kids occupied while you food shop”. Oddly I would come home to a ‘Nyah, Nyah, Nyah’ or a ‘Are you happy or are you married?’ comment from the little rug rats.

A word of caution, the nose seems to have fallen off from quite a few of these in the store. Then again, if I gave them to Iko they would be gutted in less than an hour.

Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard… for duty and humanity.

Here is the full set. 

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September 5, 2012 · 9:29 pm

Expiration date humiliation

Ok, I will admit it. I suck at throwing stuff away. I may appear to be all neat and Virgo when you first walk in my house but the pockets of stuff are way out of hand.

Labor Day found me in a flurry of ‘I must get rid of shit insanity’, so I tackled a few kitchen cabinets.

My dear nephew who is now a big old engaged grown up, used to come to my house as little kid and check all the expiration dates on my stuff. You know, mayonnaise, dressing, ketchup. Alright, so my condiments might have been a little out of date.

Well, Sir Matthew, this blog post is for you. Here is what I found:

1. 2004. Cough medicine. Yeh, probably will be still hacking away if we took this one. (fyi, box was still sealed, could be worth something)

2. 2005. Pepto Bismol. Do you think it may still cause ‘darkening of tongue or stool’? And while we are discussing this, are you not more than a little disturbed to find a healthcare product that uses the words ‘tongue’ and ‘stool’ in the same sentence?

3. 2008. More Pepto Bismol… tablets this time. FYI, this is Gary’s favorite OTC remedy. He actually likes the taste!

Ok, there was one more thing that even though it had been in my cabinet for over 23 years(!) it will never have an expiration date and I don’t think I will ever be able to bring myself to throwing it out.

I know, awww!

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August 22, 2012 · 8:56 pm

For 5000 years we were wandering…

 

The ‘WE’ for those not of the tribe are the Jews. We have been known to wander for give or take a few thousand years. We can be restless that way. Have you ever been to a restaurant with my husband? NEVER accept the first table.

This is engraved above the blinds in our favorite local Jewish deli. Actually it is the only local Jewish deli but if it wasn’t it would still be our favorite. So the photo above is one wall. And the payoff was… will a little bit scary but funny none the less.

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August 7, 2012 · 7:54 pm

Chip Off the Old Garbage

If you are new here, I have been known to post about garbage now and then (define now and then). Ok, so maybe there is a little more spring in my step when I go out to walk in the AM on a garbage day. What can I say, I have very creative neighbors.

Today, my daughter came off the train from work with a story about the boxes of random stuff that has been in her office for weeks. She has been thinking to herself, “Hey, why have I not taken a picture of this garbage that appears to have a penis sticking out of the top of the box.” Then she asked a co-worker, why have we not talked about that garbage over there and the friend replied, “Oh, you mean the penis garbage?”.

No lie.

She then proceeded to make everyone sit at her desk so they could get a good view of said penis garbage.

Go head, look at that picture and tell me you don’t see the penis. What? You are on a mobile. Well then let me help you. Here is a close up.

Oh the little things we do to amuse ourselves during the day.

Do all families behave this way?

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Filed under absurdities, garbage, humor, Jana

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July 31, 2012 · 10:50 pm

50 Shames of Earl Grey

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If you have ever eaten with my husband, you are familiar with his request for Earl Grey tea (with honey) at the end of every meal. Everywhere! Like a Cracker Barrel in Tennessee. Or a cozy little coffee shop, where the operative word would be coffee. Or friends’houses, as if everyone has this on hand.

We saw this book at a rest stop on the Northway, on the way to the Adirondacks. I could not resist buying it after reading the back. Too funny.

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July 28, 2012 · 12:01 am

Goat brothers

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I love this name. Goat Brothers. Are they goat men? Is this their family name? Are they simply goat like in their behavior?

The thing I love about being in the Adirondacks is that I can go to a bar with something like this on display.

I don’t believe I have ever been to a swap meet. I may have to come back up here for this.

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July 5, 2012 · 9:14 pm

When you are expecting a dead mouse you get a flood


This would be my version of We Plan and G-d Laughs. Simply put, it is never what you expect that is the thing that gets you.

We were fortunate enough to be invited to spend the 3rd and 4th with friends Out East. For those of you not from Long Island, Out East is where you want to be invited whenever you can. The Hamptons, as it is called, include some non-hampton named towns but in general the whole east end of the south fork of our lovely island is sand, sea, hydrangea, hedges heaven. We were just about getting to the gateway to the area when we got a phone message, “Ame, call me, we have ‘a situation’ at the house.”

This did not sound good.

I called back to find out that the hose under the sink had burst and not only did they have a pool in the backyard, they now had one in the basement and the beginning of one on the main floor.

What about the mouse? Don’t get your underwear in a knot, I am getting to the mouse. Sunday night, when leaving the house, a mousetrap was set to catch a little varmint that had been leaving evidence about. With this in mind, a certain member of this clan was a bit hesitant to enter the house alone in fear of finding the dead mouse.

So instead, she found a flood.

Morale of the story: bring hip waders to the beach? Nope, the moral is no matter what you are worried about, you can be sure something completely unrelated is what is going to happen.

But, this group is agile, we still managed to have a fabulous time with plenty of food, drink, and an extra helping of the saviors from the local Servpro. Thanks to my fabulous  experience with them this year, they were the first ones to come to mind. Consider this a plug for one of the most amazing operations out there for flood and fire remediations… 24/7 365!

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June 19, 2012 · 3:59 pm

Babushka Lip Gloss and The Impulse Buy

I found these at the counter at Bed Bath and Beyond. They were sitting at the checkout in the coveted impulse buy spot by the cash register. This is the spot where they put those items that you just can’t resist. Or… this item.

I am convinced that the buyer saw these and told their assistant, “oh, these are kind of kitch, order 10”, meaning pieces and the assistant accidentally ordered 10 cases. That is when the impulse buy spot becomes the we are desperate to move these babies spot.

When I was in HS I worked at a drug store chain and this exact thing happened with a crazy product called Top Coverage. Check it out.

Yes, kiddies, this product claims to be the hair loss concealer that ‘erases bald spots’. Top Coverage is easy to use: just spray on the thinning area, bald spot will disappear instantly. You can choose black, brown, light brown or gray to match your hair color.

Or not.

In actuality it is spray paint for your bald spot. I think it probably worked better for the comb over guys.

After many laughs at the 6 cases vs. 6 pieces fiasco we used this stuff to spray paint doors, make signs, you name it.

Oh the wonderful world of retail!

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June 6, 2012 · 10:55 pm

Commuter Power Ranger

This was parked at the parking lot of our local commuter train station. I would not be at all surprised if the blue Power Ranger came off that train.

I am thinking of buying this one on ebay and tying it to his handlebars for when he returns . Seriously, how much more fun can you have for $5.99?

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June 4, 2012 · 12:02 pm

Upcycle That Kitty

via Pospsi.com, via Sky News

There are days when everything is funny. These are the days I live for. It could be the people that I know, the fact that they are also Magnets for The Absurd, or perhaps the universe has sympathy on us poor working slobs on a rainy Monday morning. But this. THIS. This one made me laugh so hard.

To the point of tears.

Which, btw, is the tagline for this blog.

So here goes. A big thank you to Wendy for posting this one.

It would seem that Bart Jansen’s poor kitty was killed by a car. So what did he do? Did he spend his days sobbing. Oh no, no, no. In the spirit of turning lemons into lemonade he turned his kitty into a kittycopter!

Um, yes, folks, good old Bart stuffed his deceased feline and converted Orville into a radio-controlled copter. When you think of it, why bury, cremate or toss a perfectly good dead cat when you can fly it around your yard for hours of entertainment? And then post it on YouTube so the whole world could enjoy your pet. I like to think of this as extending the pet value. This has the flavor of a good B. Kliban drawing. (please click that link and note the url for a little more kitty humor). 

Is this disrespectful to the pet or the ultimate tribute?

Can you imagine the conversation at the taxidermist’s shop? You want him in WHAT position? Might I ask why? Oh, a kittycopter… that’s a cool idea.  I would think that taxidermists are not all that easily shocked; they must have the most disturbing requests. Hmmm… maybe I should start a taxidermist blog and interview them all over the country. Sorry, I digress.

Of course there is video. When I clicked to watch there were only 301 hits. I predict this sucker breaks 100,000 in no time. I am sure I will be good for at least 50 myself. And if you are wondering, yes, I did watch the full 3:34 of this. The landing was the best part outside of his adjusting the little copter propellors.

Oriville the kitty? I heard his dog Wilbur has been crossing the street very carefully in fear of becoming the next victim of radio-controlled absurdity.

Happy Monday all. Hope you had a good laugh.

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