Tag Archives: expiration dates

Expiration date humiliation

Ok, I will admit it. I suck at throwing stuff away. I may appear to be all neat and Virgo when you first walk in my house but the pockets of stuff are way out of hand.

Labor Day found me in a flurry of ‘I must get rid of shit insanity’, so I tackled a few kitchen cabinets.

My dear nephew who is now a big old engaged grown up, used to come to my house as little kid and check all the expiration dates on my stuff. You know, mayonnaise, dressing, ketchup. Alright, so my condiments might have been a little out of date.

Well, Sir Matthew, this blog post is for you. Here is what I found:

1. 2004. Cough medicine. Yeh, probably will be still hacking away if we took this one. (fyi, box was still sealed, could be worth something)

2. 2005. Pepto Bismol. Do you think it may still cause ‘darkening of tongue or stool’? And while we are discussing this, are you not more than a little disturbed to find a healthcare product that uses the words ‘tongue’ and ‘stool’ in the same sentence?

3. 2008. More Pepto Bismol… tablets this time. FYI, this is Gary’s favorite OTC remedy. He actually likes the taste!

Ok, there was one more thing that even though it had been in my cabinet for over 23 years(!) it will never have an expiration date and I don’t think I will ever be able to bring myself to throwing it out.

I know, awww!


Filed under absurdities, health, homeowner, humor

Expiration dates

Is it bad that I had a 5-pack of zinc oxide in my closet with an expiration date of 1997? Oh, how I wish i was making this up.

You see, here’s the thing; It’s not like I have not cleaned that closet out in the past 13 years, it would simply appear that I do more organizing than actual cleaning. You might wonder why I would have a 5-pack of zinc oxide back in mid-90s. Well, do the math. Young Danny had his butt in a diaper in the early 90s, so I would imagine it took quite a few years for that stuff to expire. And my neighbor was a pharmacist… hence the 5-pack.

Being the weekend before Thanksgiving I have been obsessively nesting. Since my nephew – the expiration date Nazi – will be visiting, I kept going on the hunt for expired items in the kitchen and garage pantries.

Here is a brief list of the worst items I have found with their expiration dates: walnuts/2006, canned pineapple/2003, pumpkin pie mix/2005, assorted pudding mixes/2007-2009… should I go on? I think you get the idea.

Maybe I should put a challenge out there. Anyone able to beat the zinc oxide from 1997?


Filed under absurdities, holidays