Tag Archives: Virgo

Expiration date humiliation

Ok, I will admit it. I suck at throwing stuff away. I may appear to be all neat and Virgo when you first walk in my house but the pockets of stuff are way out of hand.

Labor Day found me in a flurry of ‘I must get rid of shit insanity’, so I tackled a few kitchen cabinets.

My dear nephew who is now a big old engaged grown up, used to come to my house as little kid and check all the expiration dates on my stuff. You know, mayonnaise, dressing, ketchup. Alright, so my condiments might have been a little out of date.

Well, Sir Matthew, this blog post is for you. Here is what I found:

1. 2004. Cough medicine. Yeh, probably will be still hacking away if we took this one. (fyi, box was still sealed, could be worth something)

2. 2005. Pepto Bismol. Do you think it may still cause ‘darkening of tongue or stool’? And while we are discussing this, are you not more than a little disturbed to find a healthcare product that uses the words ‘tongue’ and ‘stool’ in the same sentence?

3. 2008. More Pepto Bismol… tablets this time. FYI, this is Gary’s favorite OTC remedy. He actually likes the taste!

Ok, there was one more thing that even though it had been in my cabinet for over 23 years(!) it will never have an expiration date and I don’t think I will ever be able to bring myself to throwing it out.

I know, awww!

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Filed under absurdities, health, homeowner, humor

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Horoscope and the Fortune Cookie

I always pride myself in keeping a sense of humor through acute times. It is my defense mechanism and it has served me well. But I also know that stress is cumulative. And sometimes it gets the better of you. (could this explain the hives that have started around my ankles and are making a journey up my body this past week?)

Last week during the great flood of 11.11, when my washing machine decided to regurgitate its contents all over the side of the basement that was NOT being renovated, I started to… well I started to lose my shit. Not only did my sense of humor start to wane, but I actually began to panic; something I try never to do.

While the wonderful team from ServPro was dragging out wet carpets and ruined moldings, I was dismantling my office to move upstairs. There on my desk I found a fortune that said, “Your sense of humor always serves you well.”

Talk about a sign.

Then this weekend someone’s Facebook status was the Virgo horoscope for the day:

Well, talk about wake up call #2.

So, my friends, for those of you who have ‘been a little confused’ I would like to say I am back! Being a drag is a drag. And just to prove it I will show you this photo I snapped while leaving Whole Foods today. Just asking, is that what they mean by ‘Beyond’?

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Filed under absurdities, Time to Cry Tuesdays