Category Archives: holidays

April 24, 2011 · 11:58 pm

Happy 22 @Janabelle25

Twenty-two years ago on April 25th I packed a bag and went to the hospital for what I like to call natural childbirth; no jewelry/no makeup. Due to her famous determined disposition, my sweet little girl was frank breech and a C-section was in order. In an archaic and barbaric procedure effort to turn her, the doc convinced us to try a procedure called external version. She basically flipped him the bird and turned right back to the position she had chosen in utero – head up.

That’s my girl! I am happy to report, 22 years later the very personality trait that forced a C-section is one of the most wonderful things about her. If she puts her mind to it… it’s hers. Three weeks shy of college graduation this will certainly come in handy.

When you give birth you don’t think much past babyhood, maybe a shade into toddlerhood. But you surely do not think that 22 years would fly by this fast (yes, I sound like a corny song) or that the infant that scared the hell out of you when you first brought her home would turn into one of your favorite people on earth to go shoe shopping with. Or watch a movie with. Or go to a concert with. Or, or, or… you get what I mean.

So, to the girl who makes me laugh when I don’t think I have it in me, who is my biggest fan, my number one focus group and the very light of our lives (with her brother of course), we wish you the very happiest of birthdays and we thank you for making us a family 22 years ago.

Comments on this post will be forwarded to her so please excuse the shameless mommy promotion and fire away. And for all of you on twitter, if you could wish her a Happy Birthday and fill her stream I would be very grateful. She is @janabelle25 and I guarantee if you follow her you will find her tweets are always pretty clever and fun. She might kill me but here are but a few of my faves:

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/60020431398244352

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/58251684283031553

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/42616170968391680

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April 20, 2011 · 12:50 am

Passover – The Cardiologists’ Holiday

For those who are not of the tribe, Passover is a holiday that is filled with cholesterol and sugar. Dozens of eggs, pounds of butter, countless sacks of sugar and briskets till the cows come home (with onions and carrots) crowd Jewish tables from coast to coast.

I had chest pains just cooking the stuff. This is not to mention what it all does to your stomach.

In doctor’s offices across the land, Cardiologists and Gastroenterologists are dancing the jig and planning their next vacation… on us! Or our health insurance companies. This is sort of like how happy the dentists are right after halloween. I don’t think of it as shadenfruede, but more just a joy surrounding a surge in business, so to speak.

This is surely not a week to have one’s bloods done.

Another funny Passover anecdotes:

Me: Do chopped walnuts go bad?

Friend 1: No, they are a post-apocalyptic food

Friend 2: And I am sure the ancient Manschevitz wine that you are mixing in will kill any bacteria.

Ahhhh, the holidays. What could be more fun?

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December 30, 2010 · 8:24 pm

Goodbye TwentyTen

New York Times Square New year celebrations in...

Image via Wikipedia

Not sure if I will ever get used to the ‘twenty’ thing in the date. I guess I have the rest of my life to adjust to it.

I am never one for big New Year’s celebrations or resolutions. For me, if my desk is clean (it is, along with my desktop that finally has the current operating system) and my kids are happy (they are) and we are not staring down the business end of a full-blown crisis (we aren’t) I am relatively content at the end of the year.

2010 has had it’s moments; some good, some not so much – all part of the roller coaster of living. We have learned to live with ever changing expectations and to realize that what you think is going to take you down probably is not the one that will. But watch the hell out for what you least expect. Be nimble. Laugh whenever possible. Cry, on Tuesday’s of course. And most of all, appreciate the people in your life. Those who believe in you are your best assets.

So as we roll the calendar over to the new year, I will take this moment to thank all of the people in my life for being the PEOPLE in my life. And I thank the cosmos for always throwing out things to amuse me, even when I don’t think that I can be amused.

Oh, and Happy New Year to you all. May you turn the calendar to find what you have been looking for. Or better, maybe something that you haven’t.

 

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December 12, 2010 · 10:16 pm

Merry Overkill

I never quite understand what drives a homeowner to go these extremes to decorate for the holidays. Personally, I subscribe to the school of less is more. I cannot even imagine their electric bill at the end of the month!

It is hard to get the true feeling of this home as it sat on a very small piece of property. To the right, cropped out of this shot, was a carport with a host of inflatables atop its roof. Snowglobes and reindeer and all sorts of Santa apparitions.

I am not a fan of the inflatables. Seems lately those who like them put them up for every holiday. Their basements must look like the Macy’s parade warehouse. I particularly hate the ones that take a religious scene and try to render them in blow up materials. There is a manger scene in my neighborhood that looks like Alvin and the Chipmunks and I have a sneaking suspicion that was not intentional.

We stumbled upon the house above by accident last night and all we could think of was what was going to happen to all those decorations in the high winds and heavy rain that was coming today.

If it was not so far away I would have done a drive by for another shot. I suppose that would be a little too mean spirited, but think about how funny that decoration battlefield might have looked.


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November 28, 2010 · 9:17 pm

Doody Babies

I know, after the holiday weekend I am supposed to keep the warm and fuzzy alive and tell you all how special my holiday was. How wonderful it was to be with family and friends. How everyone sleeping in their own beds and having my kids home was absolutely the best. How perfect the table looked, how the Chambers oven earned itself another year of life by actually cooking the turkey in a reasonable amount of time (define reasonable).

But all I  really want to share with you is my son and two nephews and how after eating the holiday meal they felt it was important to pose in this photo with their…

doody babies.

My son has gone so far as to name his Chester (we do not know why). He would be on the right with that more than concerning stance of a true pregnant woman. Look at the way his hand is bracing his back. You would actually think he was pregnant!  All three of them look quite authentic. When I posted this on facebook someone commented on the patriotic touch of the red, white and blue. Um, yeh, well ok.

Just curious, does stuff like this go on at anyone else’s holiday dinners? And have any of you ever heard of doody babies before or is this just our family? (you should hear our table conversations)!

 

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November 24, 2010 · 12:23 am

Gelatinous

Tonight’s word is ‘gelatinous’. In an attempt to get a head start on Thanksgiving I decided to make the cranberry sauce tonight. Happy to have Jana and her girls in the kitchen we set out to make the easiest of holiday recipes.

Not.

It would appear there was too much water. Or not enough sugar. Or just plain beat cranberries. But in no way did this cranberry sauce possess the (here it comes) gelatinous consistency that we expected.

We were, however, happy to be able to use the word gelatinous more often than humanly possible.

There were years when I used to burn an apple pie, then have to bake another. I suppose the cranberries were tagged as ‘it’ this year.

 

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November 20, 2010 · 10:49 pm

Expiration dates

Is it bad that I had a 5-pack of zinc oxide in my closet with an expiration date of 1997? Oh, how I wish i was making this up.

You see, here’s the thing; It’s not like I have not cleaned that closet out in the past 13 years, it would simply appear that I do more organizing than actual cleaning. You might wonder why I would have a 5-pack of zinc oxide back in mid-90s. Well, do the math. Young Danny had his butt in a diaper in the early 90s, so I would imagine it took quite a few years for that stuff to expire. And my neighbor was a pharmacist… hence the 5-pack.

Being the weekend before Thanksgiving I have been obsessively nesting. Since my nephew – the expiration date Nazi – will be visiting, I kept going on the hunt for expired items in the kitchen and garage pantries.

Here is a brief list of the worst items I have found with their expiration dates: walnuts/2006, canned pineapple/2003, pumpkin pie mix/2005, assorted pudding mixes/2007-2009… should I go on? I think you get the idea.

Maybe I should put a challenge out there. Anyone able to beat the zinc oxide from 1997?

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September 27, 2010 · 10:48 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – philosophy(.com)

philosphy. Ok this product line had me at hello. Or should I say they had me at birthday girl. Here is a line of cosmetics that has ME written all over it. A lover of fine design and deep thoughts with a side of nostalgia and well… Philosphy; I am slain by this company.

Forget about the fact that the actual products are fabulous, the positioning of this brand has sold me even if it was dreck (which it is most certainly not) Their product names are all in lowercase (if you have ever received a social email from you that is how I write)

If I were asked to come up with a product line this would have been it. So needless to say I am a little bummed that I did not. Every item is named thoughtfully with a little story to tell and a lesson to learn:

amazing grace: “life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test…”

soul owner: “let’s review your only true assets. you own your values, your integrity, your thoughts, your words, your actions and therefore your destiny…”

Hey, these are some pretty heady thoughts for a shower gel and an exfoliating foot cream.

A big thank you to Dr. Judy for buying me this gift. I will leave you with what is written on the outside of the birthday girl kit; something i read at my birthday dinner and choked us all up a bit. Hey, you know how a table of menopausal women can get.

“philosophy: be grateful to have been given one more day, let alone one more year. remember to dance in your nightgown, sing in the shower, ride a bike, fly a kite and take an occasional “wind bath” in your bare skin. give those you love big kisses, huge hugs, and the words “i love you” often and always. nurture your body rather than starve your soul with fad dieting (this one was my fave!) spend time with the old and the weary to better appreciate your life. on your birthday, call your mother and father wherever they are to thank them for all that they have done for you, even if you think they haven’t done enough. watch the movie “life is beautiful” at least once a year. remember that you are not guaranteed tomorrow and that today is as good as it gets. thank G-d for every “thing,” every “day,” every moment.”™

Of course the ™ at the end did ruin it a bit, but hey, you have to protect the intellectual property.

So, to the makers of philosophy, you rock. And get yourself on OpenSky soon, you are a perfect fit.

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September 9, 2010 · 12:01 am

A Sweet New Year (and the funny thing about mashed potatoes)

There is an odd phenomenon surrounding the making of mashed potatoes. There is truly a fine line between the perfect amount of milk and…

well I would have to say:

wallpaper paste.

Yes, you guessed it. I was there. They were really perfect. But I could not leave well enough alone and had to add that one little drop more of milk. And the next think I knew I was preparing boxed rice pilaf (on a holiday, that’s simply a crime!) and dumping those potatoes before Gary got home to witness my failure.

But here’s the thing. It’s not about the mashed potatoes. Or the rice. Or the fact that you find yourself cooking chicken soup and brisket on labor day as if someone pulled the switch on your summer and sent you tumbling down the Days of Awe water slide.

It’s about stopping and taking a deep breath and remembering that even though it is 85 degrees out and you have a Chambers Stove from the 1930s that is causing your kitchen to feel like a sauna; traditions, community, family and friends are what the whole thing is about.

Like the friend that picks up your parents’ synagogue tickets for you because you were too harried to get there yourself. Or the one who wakes up to remember that she is out of flour but she always bakes you a challah and makes sure to get to the store early enough to make you one again this year AND have her son deliver it to you. Or it is sitting in Synagogue (yes in that state of post ruining the potatoes shame) and looking to your left and right to see not just both your parents, but both of your in-laws as well.

So to all the members of the Tribe that read this blog, L’Shana Tovah. May you have a good, sweet year.

And just a tip, go light on the milk in the mashed potatoes.

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May 10, 2010 · 10:48 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – 25 years

May 11th, 1985.

Hottest day of the year and a NYC loft with no AC; rough combo.

If you were a guest at our wedding you are still trying to cool down from that one. I will never lose the vision of our best man sweating as if he were running a marathon. I will spare the rest of the details of that day and hope the rest of you will be kind enough to do so as well.

But as in most situations that spin out of our control, we made lemonade, had an amazing time and started our life together with the full knowledge that things were never going to get boring around here. And they surely have not.

We have done the better.

And sadly some of the worse.

We have unfortunately known some very scary sickness.

Yet happily we have known more extended periods of good health.

(I would like to personally thank Gary here for not crapping out on me 10 years ago to fulfill the death do us part piece)

Marriage is hard work. But it is also the person you come home to at the end of the day who you share some kids and a dog with. Who holds your hand when you are about to cry and makes you laugh, especially at the most inappropriate times. Who holds up the hose when you have a leak in the basement and shouts ‘where is this water coming from?’ and makes you care more about how funny that is than where the water is actually coming from. Who will go anywhere, anytime without a thought about if it will be hassle or not.

Life is hard. When you can share it with someone who can do a toddler dance, still wake up every day and push the damn boulder up the hill with you, knows every type of music on the planet and helps to teach your kids to appreciate it all(ish)  AND is a damn good tennis player…

then it all seems a little easier.

Happy 25th G. (and PLEASE, stop telling everyone this has been the happiest 40 years of your life).

More than life itself, baby.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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