Monthly Archives: September 2009

Phone in Jury Duty

Jury-duty

Whose idea was this one? Do they have this everywhere or is this county specific?

I am not sure if this is a great idea or a really lousy one. I will let you know at the end of the FIVE FRIGGIN’ DAYS that the county of Nassau has decided they are entitled to hold my schedule hostage.

Really guys, no problem for me to call you every damn night (after 5:00) to find out if my next day is my own. Of course I have nothing better to do than keep rescheduling anything that needs to be addressed the following day. Or better yet, write the whole week off to that frivolous style of spontaneity that has always been so successful in running both a business and a family/home.

I suppose this is better than the show up and sit in that big room kind of thing I had to do last time. But what happened to the sole proprietor of a business exemption I used to enjoy years ago. Give me a break, I can’t just stop working because you guys need jurors. Perhaps I could show up with my underwear on the outside of my clothing and act like nothing is wrong. That might discourage anyone from wanting me on a jury.

Then again, that might be just the thing to get me picked.

Or perhaps when I tell them I come from a family of lawyers they might not find me all that desirable.

Oh, and BTW, not that I encourage racial or religious profiling, but my married last name is Levinson. And this would be the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The days of awe (and brisket) are not always the best time for a Jew to take off yet another day from work.

My husband received the dreaded Juror Questionnaire this week. He asked me if I thought it was a bad idea to just answer all the questions with ‘F-off’. Um, yeh, probably would certainly get him a seat on jury, don’t you think?

So, if you are looking for me this week and I don’t get right back to you it is because perhaps my number was up.

You guys know me by now. Do you really think it would be in the best interest of any attorney to pick this big-mouthed, opinionated, menopausal bee-otch to help determine the fate of another person? (that question was rhetorical).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, humor, lawsuits, work

Email. Brisket. Conference Call. Kugel.

There are days when working at home is both wonderful and manic.

Is it hard to juggle it all? Sometimes.

Would I have it any other way?

Probably not.

There is nothing like preparing a holiday while you try to juggle tying up a week of work.

For those who are of the tribe, I wish a sweet new year. And for those who are not, I wish you no lines at the movies or your favorite restaurant on Friday and Saturday night.

I’ll be back on Sunday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carreers, family, holidays

Subliminal Signage

marvel

Here is the first of two great signs that do a little ‘borrowing’ into the brand loyalty of others. This one is a true landmark in an area near where I grew up. If you were not thinking, you might call the place Marvel – like the comics. But that big soft ice cream cone makes you realize that around these parts the name rhymes with Carvel. (I wonder if they sell a pudgy the whale cake).

blinkos

This next one just kills me. They even have the FedEx affiliation. “Hey hon, be right back, I am going down to the Blinko’s to make some copies.”

Got to give them both credit for some clever naming. I am sure that there are some brand police out there who would get a kick out of this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor, signage

Baby you can drive my car – disco version

danny in the car

One short year ago I wrote a post about my son getting his learner’s permit. Now, here I sit on the eve of his 17th birthday while he counts down the hours when he drives out of the driveway with NO ONE ELSE IN THE CAR.

No, really, I’m good. I am OK with this. He is a good driver and a responsible kid and I am perfectly fine with him operating 3,507 pounds of machinery down the block. (yes, I googled that).

Ok, so maybe when I dropped him off at school this morning and realized this was the last time I was EVER going to drive a kid to school I did sob just a little on my way home. So shoot me. I can lean toward the monumental moment overdrama lately. Let’s see how you all do when you are faced with that reality.

So, Danny boy, this post is for you. Congrats on holding out till you can legally drive (as if you had a choice). And happy happy 17th birthday. You will always be my little buddy. Love you forever.

Be careful and ‘be all that you can be.’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under advice to my son, cars, danny, family

Time to Cry Tuesday – It’s Only a Number

number

“Not bad for 99”, said the old woman in front of me at the supermarket as she gestured towards her husband counting out his change.

“99?!” I said, how old are you?” She told me that she was 95, he would be 100 in November and they would be married 76 years that same month. All I could think was that either Gary or I will surely run one or the other over with the car before then I hope to have such a long, happy marriage. Seventy-six years of marriage, YIKES!

Honestly, these people looked like they were in their early 80s. “He does all the cooking now. I did it the first half of our lives but he finds it relaxing and I just do the wash and the ironing now. Maybe a little dusting now and then.”

Now, here is a little something you do not know about me. It is more than a coincidence as it has been happening my whole adult life. At times when I am most stressed or aggravated, perhaps suffering from some good old-fashioned self pity, I get a sign. No seriously, I do. It is not that I am all that religious, moderately I would say, but I am spiritual. And I do pay attention to the signs.

So here is the thing. I could be having a rotten day, things can be going all sorts of wrong and then I will see a blind man get on a subway. Or someone with two canes walking down the street. All kinds of disabilities show up in my line of vision just as I am feeling good and sorry for myself.

And that is when I look up and say, “OK, I get it.”

So back to my little old couple, who by the way were driving which did concern me, but I digress. I was in the supermarket off schedule. I was racing from a soccer game in the rain to a Saturday night affair with an hour to shower, hair and make up. Oh and of course Spanx which take up 15 minutes of that hour. If you have ever put on Spanx you know what I mean. I realized that I did not have dinner for the drenched and famished soccer player so I stopped off to pick something up.

I was driving and thinking about turning 50. Not one to usually care about the numbers, this year was no exception. Until just then. And I thought, hell, 50 is old. I mean not out of it, life is over, drama queen, where has my youth gone kind of old. Just old. Or maybe old(ish).

And then there they were. My sign. The fact was these people were twice my age. And ironing for G-d sake! Seriously, get over yourself, kid!

To add to the attitude adjustment there were the 2 trips to the DMV today (a story for another time), that made me realize that in that context I was a totally young, skinny, babe.

So in celebration of turning 50 I will reaffirm my favorite thought:

There is no reality. Only perception.

Here’s to perception!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Hijack this blog

born-to-blog

There is nothing like good friends. Even ones who threaten to hijack your blog. Who better to take over and pseudo guest post than the infamous First Thursdays?

These divas throw a hell of a birthday celebration. Check out the framed picture above that they had done for me. (Fyi, I blog under my maiden name, but I First Thursday under the married one).

I think I look pretty good on Springsteen’s body. Just to give you an idea of how diverse we are, I photoshopped the last person onto Giselle’s body. Hey, whatever blows your hair back, right?

In honor of the last day in my 40s I give you some suggestions that were made for blog reworking, along with some other comical writings that were part of my birthday roast – First Thursday style:

Blog Days:

Time to get out of the basement Monday

Time to cry Tuesday (and oldie but goodie)

Time to leave the zip code Wednesday

Time for a little laugh Thursday

Time to vent Friday (this could be a great one)

Time to workout Saturday

and a favorite for all the husbands out there, mine for sure:

Time for “a little head would be nice” Sunday.

And since all you readers know me pretty well by now, I will share their “top ten things Amy will never do now that she is 50 list”

1. Go to spin class (safe bet)

2. Play tennis with Jo (safer bet, she would kill me)

3. Have lunch at the club (I should be so lucky to get out of that one – the minimum haunts me)

4. Go to Bergdorf’s with Maddee and Michelle (ok, I admit it, I did say I thought Berdgorf’s closed. I had a moment of confusion with Bonwits, so shoot me)

5. Go to South Beach with the First Thursday Girls (sorry girls, montauk maybe, south beach, not so much)

6. Discuss again… to be rich or thin? (don’t ask)

7. (this one I will omit to protect the innocent(ish) Hey, we all still have to live in this town!)

8. Not blog or tweet for the day. (Why would I consider this? Jeez!)

9. Get out of the basement (this one I am starting to do, I swear)

10 BOTOX! (this one is a given)

Thank you, my friends, for a great night from the women who will always keep me on my toes and will NEVER let me fall. I love you all!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, friendship, humor, humor, relationships, top ten lists, twitter, women, work habits, writing

Not Your Mother’s Ken Doll

ken-dude

I saw this surfer dude ken doll in a window in Madison. He is frighteningly lifelike even with those funky joints. I don’t remember my Ken dolls having facial hair and a pony tail.

So, do you think that he is anatomically correct? And what is up with the fish? Is this an amphibian dude or is that a dead fish?

And why are they in the window of an eyeglass store?

Just asking?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor

May the bird of happiness…

hat-with-bird-crap

… crap on your hat?!

Yeh, that would be seagull slime on my favorite WFUV.org  baseball cap. As my mom would say, “It’s good luck!”

What is that? When a bird craps on you, people tell you it is good luck as if that is some sort of consolation for being crapped on? (sorry Mom)

The day before our wedding Gary was walking up Madison Avenue and a bird crapped on his designer suit. My mother told him it was good luck.

He may beg to differ 24 years later. Just saying.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky in this instance because about 2 minutes earlier that hat was in my beach bag. Could have been a lot worse.

Me: Hey, something just fell on my head, like an acorn or something.

Riki: Um, no a bird just crapped on your head. Hey it’s good luck!

Yeesh!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Got Mooovers?

marrins-moooving

First, yes that is the front of my car in the bottom of the screen and yes I shot this while I was driving. With all the talk of texting and driving hazards I am embarrassed to admit that but you know this being a blog of full disclosure and all…

Please don’t judge me. Thanks.

So there I was driving down the LIE the other morning after a meeting and this moving truck pulled up next to me. Or shall I say this M-O-O-VING truck. I was first struck by the cow motif as I have an affinity for all things bovine. Jana’s nursery had a cow border and ever since I have loved them. Then I noticed the name and scrambled through my bag for that damn camera. I first took a shot of the back but then came up alongslide and caught the phone number and had to get this angle. 1-877-270-COWS?

Brilliant.

This is surely not as cool, but does rival Mambo Movers. (They have a logo with a rhino being stuffed in a truck).

So, Marrin’s Movers, here is my little plug for your biz. I have no idea how good you are at moving crap, but your truck gave me a smile.  And a little strategic advice, carry your cow motif over to your website, it could use a little refresh.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, companies, humor, marketing, road trip, signage

Putting the Fun in Funfetti

funfetti

Around these parts Funfetti cupcakes are the bomb. Pillsbury makes this mix with cool colored morsels in the cake mix and frosting. For as long as I can remember, my kids’ friends have been obsessed with Funfetti.

The week that my son came home from camp I made sure to make a batch when the boys came over. By some miracle there were still a few left over, so I left them in a container on the counter.

I arrived home the other day and noticed a piece of green note paper in with the cupcakes. The picture above is what I found. Similar to the famous initialed banana in my fruit bowl, these boys have a way of letting me know they were here.

There are times when 17-year-old boys can all but break your heart. This is one of them. Just when you thought that perhaps you were invisible, they make you realize that you are anything but.

I texted my son to tell Mark that I loved him too, and to let him know that these cupcakes were probably better 2 weeks ago when I baked them. (hopefully I did not poison the poor kid).

Thank you Mark C, for the sweet reminder that the little things do not go unnoticed.

(now, Pillsbury, let’s see how good your social media monitoring is)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, food, friendship, moms, parenting, teenagers, trends, Uncategorized