Ever since my daughter has been home from school we have noticed that the dog is beginning to look quite a bit like her. What do you think?
Oh, Jana is the one with the glasses.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
There a few givens in this world. One of them is that you will rarely, if ever, be satisfied with your driver’s license photo. And to add insult to injury, you are stuck with it for years.
My license expired this past September with the momentous occasion of my 50th birthday. As if it were not enough that AARP has been harassing me for the past 2 years by sending those damn cards every few months, I was faced with ‘the big decision’. To reshoot, or not to reshoot.
I was never fond of my license photo, I always felt I was having a bad hair day and I was wearing some ridiculous shade of lipstick that made me look a bit like Lucille Ball. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided to have a new picture taken.
I did my hair in the morning, put on a much more acceptable shade of lipstick and off I went to the DMV feeling very proud of myself.
Um, yeh, who’s a complete IDIOT!
Let’s face it, I don’t care who the hell you are, nobody looks better now than they did when they were TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER. Bad hair, bad lipstick and bad breath for G-d sake, a 30-year-old, by nature of her 30-year-oldness is simply going to look better in a picture than a 50-year-old.
Especially one who was not ready when the bitch sadist clerk behind the counter snapped the unfortunate shot of her.
This new picture makes me look a little like a football player. I am not sure exactly how they managed to give me a 30″ neck, but they did. And aside from being so washed out that I looked almost green, the expression on my face is one of say, maybe severe constipation? Or smelling something putrid? Or perhaps the exact look one would have when they took a look at their new driver’s license when it came in the mail 2 weeks later!
And please, don’t ask me to post the 2 photos here. It is bad enough when I get that look of pity from the security guys at the airport.
Take my advice, keep your old picture.
Filed under humor, photography
It may come as a shock to you, but no I did not take this picture in NY. This baby comes to me from cousin Kelly. He said he took it somewhere in Virginia (that would make more sense).
This is quite a vehicle, don’t you think? Screaming religion down the highway is rather odd, quoting all sorts of scriptures and the like.
But tell me, what is an unusalist? Could that be a typo right there on the bumper? Did they mean unusualist? Actually, neither of them is in the dictionary. Can one of my christian friends define this please?
This vehicle gives godspeed a whole new meaning.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, cars, photography, social media
Back in February I posted about Jesus Toast tattoos with a poll asking if people found this disrespectful, evangelical, Kinda Cool or other. Kind Cool won out at 61%. I am beginning to wonder if humor in religion is acceptable, or just amongst my readers. Never wanting to offend (ok, maybe that is a stretch) please take this post with a grain of salt.
These 2 photos were sent to me by a friend/reader who considers herself MFTA by proxy. She has also brought me the magnificent Butt Paste shot.
I love this first one:
This Jesus Shaves mug is heat activated. Pour in hot water and his beard disappears. These types of mugs have been around the ad specialty world for awhile. This is, by far, the best application I have seen. If you would like to purchase it you can do so here (no affiliation, just love the product).
While checking out a place to buy this I found Jeez-its on the same site. This one killed me as we had a crazy conversation one night at a birthday celebration about Cheez-Its vs. Jesus. This would have made a great party favor.
Next item is also quite wonderful.
What Would Jesus Wear magnetic wardrobe. Oh my, I would love to dress him in the tie dye number! You can buy this item here.(again, no affiliation)
Now, here I might be treading on being a little disrespectful, but hey, I am just a documenting. I took this shot in the LIC subway station. Quite the message!
I will end this ridiculous post with a message I received awhile back on twitter. I wrote about it before but the screen shot is priceless, albeit a touch creepy. Nonetheless, it is a perfect sign-off.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, magnet for the absurd, photography, products
File this one under, Only in NY!
I passed this today on a little family excursion through the East Village. Burp Castle, Temple of Beer Worship is located on East 7th Street between 2nd and Copper Square in case you want to visit. Not far from McSorley’s Old Ale House, this would make a nice beer tour if you are from out of town.
Not too sure about the Brewist Monks since 1022 a.d. but hey, it looks like a fun place.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, New York, New York City, photography, places of interest, signage
Snow Bird.
Sex Drive.
Sex Drive.
I believe the missing license plate in that sequence would be:
Cialis*
I found the juxtaposition of these quite funny. Even funnier, the fact that Sex Drive had to be repeated. Was it for reasons of hearing, eyesight or poor memory?
*if you have an erection for more than 4 hours, call your doctor (favorite disclaimer/tagline of all times).
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, health, humor, photography, places of interest, products, signage, vacation
I just don’t know what to make of this style.
Are these bandals or soots?
Neither really works for me. Sometimes you can get away with a combo name. Like the skort, for instance. That was big back in the seventies. That shorts/skirt combo. The new word just worked. These simply don’t cut it.
Nor does the style in my book. Seriously, did she buy these because she truly loved them or because she was a slave to fashion?
Or would that be a gladiator?
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, fashion, photography
What’s the shot that this guy has a woman living in his house?
Wife: Hon, why don’t you put on your plaid shirt and completely different plaid shorts today, they look so good together.
Husband: Oh, great, and then I can put on a pair of white gym socks with my sandals and round out the outfit.
I took this shot on the same boardwalk as the kid on a leash, dog in a stroller and recession rosaries. AND the 3 hens 3 girls and Hot… Dogs on leaving the zip code. I almost had photographic whiplash by the end of that day! Forgive the posterization, I had to screw around with the levels to get the plaids to read as I was shooting into the sun. Don’t you just hate it when absurdities don’t position themselves in the correct direction?
I am surely no fashionista. Let’s face it, I wear predominantly black clothes. I consider khaki a color. But I am always amazed when I see this kind of blatant fashion violation.
No, this is not even a fashion issue, this is a complete lack of recognition of complimentary design elements and the principles of clashing. This guy is different from the inappropriate T-shirt guys. Those guys made a conscious choice to be what they considered funny or clever, even if they weren’t. This guy? Did he get dressed in the dark? Did no one ever tell him that plaid needs a nice solid to balance it out. Has he never noticed that others don’t dress like this?
Then of course, I got a little sad. What if he lost his wife and she always told him how to dress?
Or maybe, just maybe, the conversation above really did take place.
It takes all kinds.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, fashion, humor, photography
So many images, so little time.
I took this shot earlier this month at the Brooklyn Flea. This place was a treasure trove of the bizarre. Looking through the shots of the summer this one was begging to be featured. After the Krazy Glued penis caper I could not help but think this little guy was awfully symbolic. Oh, and I saw this right after Michael Jackson died in the height of MJ fever. Any connection? Can’t you picture him in this get up?
This artifact begs a few questions:
1. Who designed this item, for mass market, no less? And for what purpose? I am thinking this could easily be one half of a nesting salt and pepper shaker from the 50’s. Like the dancing bears my mom had. Hey, Ma, do you still have those?
2. What is the significance of the crotch grabbing? Protection? Masturbation? Or simply the need to pee?
3. Why do I think that this little guy could star in a nightmare I will have real soon. One where all the weird stuff I have taken pictures of will come alive and start chasing me.
Oops, sorry, I probably should not let the inner workings of my warped mind out of the bag so candidly.
Oh, right, isn’t that what I have been doing here from the beginning?
The biggest question of all: Why did I not purchase this little guy?
Stay tuned for more oddities from the flea market on days I have nothing to write about.
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, art, carry a camera, humor, photography, products
Yes, I know, I am the ultimate MFTA (magnet for the absurd). It is no longer a coincidence that things like this present themselves to me like little bloggy gifts. I still hold to the idea that many people see things like this. They just don’t process or don’t carry a camera.
So, ok, let’s take a look at this ‘I Just Farted (You should run now) T-shirt on this rather portly gent. I will only comment by saying,’What the hell was he thinking?’ This was taken at a kids summer camp alumni weekend. Perhaps the thought was ‘Hey, farting always gets a good laugh, why not?’
This next one is from visiting day a few years back at the same camp:
This one kills me on oh so many levels. First, the shirt is flaming orange, no way we can miss it. Second, this guy is the father of 3 boys – to quote my daughter ‘what the hell?’ Third – let’s just say MILFs ain’t dating him back, K? All joking aside, this man actually planned to wear this. He packed it in his suitcase and thought to himself, ‘Hey wouldn’t it be cool to totally humiliate my kids on visiting day?’ Or maybe he just thought it was funny. Scarier.
Ok, one more:
This one does not fall in the offensive category, in fact I find it rather graphically clever (even though I hate that typeface but that is my own personal graphic design neurosis). Thankfully this was not at camp with kids around, that would just be wrong. But it was at a concert where you would think if this guy was high, perhaps he would want to be a little more discreet about it.
Or not.
Guys, when you get dressed for these events, might I suggest you consult a woman before leaving the house?
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, photography, products, t-shirts, trends
i could cry but i don't have time 