Category Archives: holidays

November 29, 2009 · 7:17 pm

Just Another Manic Monday

All that food. All that family. And the hanging around, wandering aimlessly through a 4-day weekend. The laundry. The trips to the airport. Of course a massive leaf blowing extravaganza. And more TV than any household should have to endure. Top it all off with the cherry on top of the Rock Hall of Fame Concert for 4 hours on HBO.

So, Monday. The mother of all Mondays. Cyber Monday for those of you who are closet Black Friday peops. Do you slip right back into the grind? Start pushing that bolder up the hill again? Or do you have a fresh perspective? Do you have a well-rested feeling that makes you feel ready to buckle down and be productive? Or maybe you would be happier with just one more day of slugdom.

Or both.

THAT is what I call a truly Manic Monday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 26, 2009 · 11:03 pm

Turkey Testicle Festival

Wondering what to do with those pesky turkey testicles? Well, here you go.

I love the woman who says ‘Crispy! I’m glad it’s not juicy. I just went for the crisp.’ Yikes, kind of feel bad for her significant other.

Thanks to Dani (not Danny – he just rolls his eyes at me) for sharing this little morsel of fun.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this post is surely MFTA approved.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 24, 2009 · 9:17 pm

Pre-holiday Musings

I have been out of the basement and out in the world these last few days. Here are a few of my thoughts (scary when I let you see the inside of my head, isn’t it?):

1. Saffron. why is this sold like drugs in a vial and why on earth does it cost almost as much. Yeh, yeh, I know you only need a few threads but seriously, $15.00 for a spice? Do people snort this stuff?

2. Parking lots. Who designs them? And do they have little cameras in their offices just for kicks where they watch people lose their minds trying to park? You will be happy to know I have shed my parking lot rage and have learned to behave myself(ish) – I think the back up camera in the new car may have helped. But I have seen quite a few people with less than stellar behavior these past few days.

3. Turkey. What does a 28 lb. turkey look like when it is walking around? (and have I just ruined everyone’s appetite for the holiday?)

4. Cranberries. What makes them organic and why does that mean they should cost $5.99 a bag?

5. Airports. Why is nothing open at 10:30 at night at LaGuardia? Aren’t we the city that never sleeps?

And last but not least:

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS… why are these up before Thanksgiving!!!

Sorry. that last one is a pet peeve of mine. Not because I am a Jew (hey I don’t yank out the Menorah the second the Halloween candy is gone either), but because I feel the need to savor the moment of one holiday before the next one is out there.

Sorry, but it’s kind of like those people that say the summer is almost over on August 1st.

So folks, my holiday message for you all is to try your best to BE HERE NOW. Where ever that might be. And try to spend at least one day with your glass half full (hopefully with alcohol if you are spending it with family).

Love. Hugs. And a spectacular L-tryptophan induced sleep at the end of the holiday to you all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 23, 2009 · 9:49 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Thankful


My mom found this the other day. I think Danny wrote it in 4th grade. (you gotta love the illustration!)

One would expect a little brother, three years junior to his sister, would idolize her at that age and write something sweet like this. But what got me as I read this was how close they have become now that they are grown. Not just siblings, they are truly friends who always have each other’s back.

‘I hope you be with me till the day I die’

And that, my friends, is a hell of a way to start Thanksgiving. Welcome home Jana-girl – nothing like everyone sleeping in their own beds!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 31, 2009 · 11:41 pm

Trick or Treat in the Age of the Self Involved

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Two true halloween anecdotes.

A group of kids converged upon my house as I was coming home this afternoon. “We want candy!” they cried. “Well, good thing because I have lots of it. Let me go inside and get it” I said.

From within the crowd of princesses and ninjas emerged a cute little girl who said, “Trick or treat, I have a nut allergy.” And if that was not crazy enough, one of her little friends had one too.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I understand the danger of nut allergies so don’t be hounding me with all sorts of comments about being insensitive. But SERIOUSLY, if your kid has a nut allergy, take them on the spooky walk and buy them safe treats, but don’t be having them announce this at each house. And honestly, even the candy companies have warnings that the non-nut candies are made in the same factories. I was allergic to chocolate as a kid and my mom did not have me announce it at every house. She just gave to my brother.

Second story:

Adorable little lady bug comes up to the door by herself. Her parents waited at the street. She couldn’t be more than 4. Not a word from her, she just stood there. I brought out my big pot of all sorts of candy and she just looked in it. “Take anything you like” I said. “I WANT CANDY CORN!” she shouted and then stormed away. Parents were aware of the issue and said they would buy it themselves next year. Said she was asking everyone in the neighborhood for candy corn. Um, sorry folks, hop down to the store and get her some damn candy corn and stop having her make the neighbors feel bad.

What happened to simply running from house to house and jamming your bag full of candy?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 10, 2009 · 10:46 pm

Best Five Dollars I’ve Ever Spent

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This little baby only set me back $4.99 and I spent the better portion of the afternoon floating on her. When you talk about simple pleasures, this would be at the top of the list.

Nothing like a day of hydrotherapy, floating away in the Gulf, the temperature of a bathtub on a day in the mid 90s. THIS is the kind of job I could get used to.

This little weekend getaway is the culmination of a very long birthday celebration. Turning 50 has not been bad. Not bad at all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 29, 2009 · 12:27 am

Time to (laugh till you) Cry Tuesday

Smoked Salmon Bagel

Jews were not meant to go without food.

It is a simple fact that without caloric intake, and surely caffeine, things can go haywire.

Big time.

Antics. That is the only way to explain the absurdity of the end of my day. Amy antics. To the nth degree.

Keep in mind that the patriarchs in the family are hearing about this for the first time with this blog post, so to my dad and father-in-law, sorry the bagels were not warmed up and really, it was all my fault.

Here goes. And understand that there is no way you could make this stuff up.

I, in my control freak fashion infinite kindness, tried to help my mother-in-law out by picking up the food for break fast and keeping it in my garage fridge so it would not spoil. On cooler days she can keep it on her terrace, but in the name of not wanting rancid smoked fish and egg salad, we offered to keep it here and bring it over to her house at 5 when my husband and the dads went back to closing services for Yom Kippur.

For reasons of logistics I was taking my dad’s car. I loaded the trunk, closed it and realized I had just…

locked the keys in the trunk!

Yeh, well that did not suck much. I was going to run to my parents house (35 minutes away) to get another set of keys when my mother-in-law, in her infinite wisdom suggested AAA. The fact that she was not ready to kill me at this point is truly amazing.

I begged the guy on the phone to get here ASAP telling him how my dad was going to kill me. Then promptly told him how old I was when he replied, “hey, I am 62 and I am still afraid of my mother! She used to chase me with a wooden spoon.” Alrighty, then.

Sure enough they sent a locksmith within in the hour.

My man Andre! Oh, how I loved him. Especially when we found out that the trunk release button did not work unless the key was in the ignition. If you are still with me here, THE KEYS WERE IN THE DAMN TRUNK. He used the little entry to the trunk through the armrest in the back seat and somehow navigated around platters and bagels and kugels to find those keys. And during it all gave some sage-like advice about some higher reason why we should not be where we were supposed to be at that moment and that is why this happened.

Zen locksmith.

And then it started to rain.

Luckily we got there about 15 minutes before the starving temple guys and made a quick effort of getting it all together.

Sorry dad, but don’t worry, the car is fine. Thanks to my mother-in-law for being such a good sport and my mom for staying calm and sharing a good (nervous) laugh through it all.

Moral of the story:

Stay out of it and risk the rancid fish on the terrace.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 27, 2009 · 9:52 pm

I’d Rather Starve

Actual conversation:

Me: Just wanted to touch base with you because I will be out of the office on Monday for the Jewish Holiday.

Client: I am so jealous.

Me: Yeh, well, we have to starve.

Client: I would rather starve than go to work.

I am pretty sure this person was kidding as I know she loves her job, but it was funny anyway.

For those who are, have an easy fast. For those who aren’t, have a cheeseburger.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 17, 2009 · 9:26 pm

Email. Brisket. Conference Call. Kugel.

There are days when working at home is both wonderful and manic.

Is it hard to juggle it all? Sometimes.

Would I have it any other way?

Probably not.

There is nothing like preparing a holiday while you try to juggle tying up a week of work.

For those who are of the tribe, I wish a sweet new year. And for those who are not, I wish you no lines at the movies or your favorite restaurant on Friday and Saturday night.

I’ll be back on Sunday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 14, 2009 · 9:10 pm

The perfect gift

This is off season but so damn funny that I had to share it. If you are an email subscriber click over to the blog because this is a must see video. (thanks Jo, for sending this)

I passed this along to Gary in an email titled, “remember, it’s almost my birthday”.

Here’s his response:

I wonder if those explosives can fit in a camera?  Naaa…  It would probably just blind you and I’d have to walk you around for the rest of your life.

His undying love for me is truly touching.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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