Category Archives: absurdities

November 30, 2011 · 11:37 pm

Subterranean Homesick Blues

In Dylan terms, that means I miss the basement!

If you have not been following along, I have had not one, but two floods and countless craziness that has misplaced first my stuff and then me, from the basement office.

I am happy to report that there is a light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully not with a runaway train right behind it) and I am starting to believe I might actually get back in the newly renovated office soon. (define soon).

Here is why I have confirmed that working upstairs is not for me. Yesterday would be a perfect example.

8am-10am: House renovations across the street on one side reach a fevered pitch

10am-12pm: House on the other side takes down a tree and woodchipper whines on for 2 hours

12pm-1pm: Fall clean-up with the gardener at the next door neighbor

1pm-3:30pm: landscapers come to roto-till my yard since the waterproofers left a big section of dirt (aka mud) after the drywall went in.

So, pretty much that was a solid 7 and a half hours of white noise.

No can do.

Of course that did not hold a candle to the 5 hours of jackhammering in the basement last Wednesday from the waterproofers. (that my son slept through, BTW)

So my friends, it is almost back to the basement for this noise sensitive lunatic. And I couldn’t be happier.

 

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November 21, 2011 · 9:54 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Horoscope and the Fortune Cookie

I always pride myself in keeping a sense of humor through acute times. It is my defense mechanism and it has served me well. But I also know that stress is cumulative. And sometimes it gets the better of you. (could this explain the hives that have started around my ankles and are making a journey up my body this past week?)

Last week during the great flood of 11.11, when my washing machine decided to regurgitate its contents all over the side of the basement that was NOT being renovated, I started to… well I started to lose my shit. Not only did my sense of humor start to wane, but I actually began to panic; something I try never to do.

While the wonderful team from ServPro was dragging out wet carpets and ruined moldings, I was dismantling my office to move upstairs. There on my desk I found a fortune that said, “Your sense of humor always serves you well.”

Talk about a sign.

Then this weekend someone’s Facebook status was the Virgo horoscope for the day:

Well, talk about wake up call #2.

So, my friends, for those of you who have ‘been a little confused’ I would like to say I am back! Being a drag is a drag. And just to prove it I will show you this photo I snapped while leaving Whole Foods today. Just asking, is that what they mean by ‘Beyond’?

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November 16, 2011 · 10:35 pm

I Got Lucky

I thought it was rather funny when I pulled up behind this car after having a SECOND flood in my basement.

Just asking, was this the universe f’ing with me again or just a coincidence?

 

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November 13, 2011 · 1:56 pm

Kangaroo Men

On the road yesterday we saw this van that made me laugh. I kept trying to think about how funny it would be if the guys that worked for them were dressed up in kangaroo costumes. I tried to think about what these costumes would look like and did a quick image search on ‘kangaroo men’.

Wouldn’t you know I found the perfect shot. I can’t tell if these are the same guy photoshopped together or triplets in kangaroo costumes which is funny on so many levels.

You do lose a little something without the pouch but I guess that would just be for kangaroo women. Yeh, I know, it is amazing what I will do to waste time.

Anyway, shout out to Kangaroo Men Movers for entertaining me on an otherwise quiet drive. Love the tagline: We Hop to It.

And of course to Gary for slowing down so I could take the shot. Hey Jana, you did not think that the van was that funny. What do you say now?

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November 8, 2011 · 8:29 pm

Singing Teenagers

Sometimes I am so busy taking pictures it does not occur to me that I should stop and buy the damn thing. This photo was taken at the Brooklyn Flea. They have the best collection of nonsense you can ever find. I always get so caught up in the whole atmosphere of the place that I make the mistake of not making a purchase.

I particularly love the hyphen in Teen-agers. It was if the word had just started catching on.

I am hoping this is still there next week. I was dying to see the inside of this book and of course was able to find it on ebay. It is a songbook from 1954! It can’t get any better, can it? The illustrations are to die for.

I take great comfort in knowing I can buy it there if the Flea is out of it next week.

 

 

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November 3, 2011 · 6:40 pm

Discouraging Pumpkin Abuse

Ok, we get the don’t touch part, but don’t kick?

I like that they said thank you.

 

 

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November 2, 2011 · 8:20 pm

Sweaterfail

I could not resist this shot. I love these sweaters. As Gary used to say, it is one thing for someone to buy these, but who DESIGNS them thinking that they will be bought?

Actually, if you hit the restaurants in south Florida around the early bird hour I would imagine these are sort of a uniform.

‘Honey, you should buy this, the colors are so lively?’

Correct me if I am wrong, but I think these sweaters come with an age requirement.

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October 27, 2011 · 12:59 am

Are You Ready for a Zombie Attack


This one is for my husband. A true lover of Zombies I thought he would appreciate it. This is also my way of finding out if he is reading this blog.

With halloween fast approaching and no candy in my house just yet, I felt the need to start to get into the holiday spirit. I particularly like this iconic translation into exceptional zombie art.

Yes, it’s late when I am writing this.

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October 25, 2011 · 11:33 pm

Halloween in Exquisite Form

Oh how I love this photo. This was hanging in a thrift shop window in Baltimore and the whole ensemble caught my eye. This would make one hell of a halloween costume. Probably not in my zip code but surely there is a time and place where this would be the envy of all the ‘girls’.

I especially love the type on the ‘form’. It is truly exquisite.

Hey, do you think this would go well with those afro wigs Gary has had his eye on? (don’t ask)

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October 23, 2011 · 10:48 pm

Kind of

This little pack of gum could come in really handy. Dealing with someone who is treating you like crap? Well then just hand them a pack of ‘You’re kind of a dick’ gum.

I love gum with a message. This should not be confused with the I Heart My Penis gum, which would most probably be given to you by a guy who could use a pack of Your kind of a dick. And you could also hand it to anyone who responded yes when you offered him a piece of Does this gum make my ass look big?

The way I look at it, you could answer almost any question with a pack of gun. Well almost.

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